Aaron – August 15th 2015
I walk into the pub and see him again with Adam. He was Adam's hero back a few weeks ago and I'll be forever grateful towards him for that. I sit down as he looks straight at me, my heart skips a beat, it must have done. "You want another, mate?" Adam tries to get my attention.
I'm too busy staring at Robert to notice Adam was there. "Mate!"
I quickly get out of my trance. "Oh Adam. What did you say. Day dreaming again."
Adam gives me a look, I think he can clock me straight away. He then gives Robert a look and smiles at him and Robert smiles back. "I can work out what about." He looks at me and then Robert again. "Do ya want another pint?"
"That's a stupid question." I try to make a joke to backtrack my trance. I don't want Robert to get embarrassed, that would be the last thing I would want. I think my best mate might have just outed me to Robert. Adam then looks at me and smirks. He probably wants me to dignify a proper answer instead of 'that's a stupid question'. "Course I want a pint, Adam."
Robert gives me a big smile and it continued for a few seconds. He then looks at Adam, but nowhere as near as the smile he gave me. "I'll pay for this round, if you want me to that is." Robert looks the bar but there is an unimpressed Chas looking straight at him. I try to signal her to stop staring at him because I can see that it's making him feel uncomfortable. I try and try but she won't stop. Shortly, Robert turns away from the pitchforks coming his way.
Adam laughs. "Come on then, moneybags!" Just then, Robert goes over to the bar.
I don't know why, but I get angry with Adam for that remark. "Ya know, he's not with Chrissie anymore. And you should be grateful for what he did for you, but being the person – the self-deprecating person that you are. Means you would scoop to the lowest level to humiliate somebody like that." I can see a shocked person right next to me.
"Mate, I know you've got a 'thing' for him, but I didn't know it was that bad." Adam was gobsmacked that I would be like that to him. Defending Robert…what was I thinking. Me and he have agreed not to go back there – we would just be mates. But what if there was a chance…one chance of a new start. Maybe this time, it would be good.
I feel the urge to defend myself. I don't want my best mate to get the wrong idea. "No…I'm don't have…a 'thing' for him…no way! I wouldn't go back there." 'Would I?' My mind keeps on wondering if I would go back to Robert like a gun shot. I wouldn't…would I.
"I don't care if you do. Maybe you and Rob are meant to be, mate. This could be one chance and if you turn it down." Adam warns me and then smiles. "I only want you to be happy…promise you." He turns to Robert. "Look at him, why wouldn't you want to be with him. He's well-groomed and he's openly bisexual. There's not the annoying block of Chrissie now."
My mind turns back to the sweet moments of the affair. The sweet hug when Cain fell ill, the 'I love yous' after that cold blooded afternoon back in March. "He mightn't want us be together again. I don't think he'll forgive me for telling Chrissie about the affair."
My mate looks at me and smiles at me in conform. "He won't." I look at him desperately for him to reassertion. "I promise you." He's muttering at me right now.
I try and put that in my mind. "I don't know what to do…I love him. But will he feel the same, that's what I keep telling myself. It never helps me to reassure myself." I don't know why I'm telling my 'true' feelings towards Robert to my best mate.
Adam tries to smiles at me to make me feel better, but I think he knows that it's not working. "Thanks mate. But it's not going to work." I look at him to tell him that it has worked – but it hasn't. I want to make him feel better about himself. I want to let him know he might have worked a bit.
Robert soon comes over to the table. I don't know why but I don't want to talk to him, it'll only make matters worse. I get up and walk away. I know that he'll be very confused and that Adam probably will fill him in with why he did walk away without an explanation. I hope he does. Maybe this will make Robert think about it and maybe hopefully, just maybe…he'll get back together with me and it'll make everything ok. But me and him are never going to have the happy ending that we want and deserve because of people in the way – that's the block.
I go around to the back, but then I see my mum standing right in front of me. "What the hell are you doing with Robert Sugden! I thought we agreed…you'd stay away from him."
I'm annoyed right now at her. But I can see her point also. "Look mum, he's just a mate so don't get so worked up about it, will ya."
My mum gives me her angry expression once again. "No, I won't leave it. I'm your mum and I need to know you won't go near him again."
"No! I'm his mate and we're not going to leave it." I say. I can't believe my mum – well I can. "So I won't stay away from him."
"I'm not going into a losing battle." She says as she goes through to the bar.
Robert – August 15th
"Why would he go through?" I was confused why Aaron would go through. I thought we were mates, I need answers from Adam, he must know why he would walk away and not say why. I just went over to get some drinks. Maybe Adam had annoyed him so much he had had enough and went through the back.
Adam looks at me with a concerned look. "Sorry mate, but I've sworn the secrecy to Aaron and I don't think he would want me to tell you, I would, believe me. Because I think you should know about what Aaron is thinking."
I now know that it must be something really big. I need to know what is up with my dirty little grease monkey – that's what I've always called him in my mind. I need to know what's up with him…I need to. "Please Adam…tell me…" I think he could hear the plead in my voice.
"I don't know how to say…" I was on the edge pf my seat right now. "…He loves you, Rob. But he doesn't know how to say it. After the affair and everything."
I didn't know what to say…I love Aaron too and I would get back with him like a shot. But what would people say? There would be one person who would be a nightmare – Chrissie. She wouldn't let it go without a fight and after what happened a few weeks ago. "Thanks Adam…thanks for telling me about it." I smile to Adam. "I need to see him…" I whisper that under my breath so Adam couldn't hear me.
"What was that, mate?" He asks me. He looks very curious about what I think about Aaron's revelation.
I get up. "Look Adam, I'll see you later. Thanks for telling me about Aaron." He smiles to me and gets back to his pint. I go around the back but there is an angry face standing there – Chas.
She looks angrier than ever. "You're not going near him again, he doesn't want you around. I can tell you that. He's not happy at the minute. Not get lost!" She hisses at me.
I look at her with a confused look…Aaron not wanting to see me when he loves me. "Chas, please let me see him. We need to have a chat and it can't wait. I know you're trying to look out for him, but this time is urgent…I need to see him."
There came Aaron through the back. He looks at me and smiles. But then he turns to his mum and doesn't look that happy. "What are you doing, mum?" He asks looking a bit angry at her.
She turns to him. "Nothing love. Just making sure that Robert doesn't come near you, keeping you safe."
He smiles at me again. He then turns to his mum. "We've talked about this, haven't we." She doesn't say a word and she moves out the way. He then turns to me and smiles; as he signals me to come through with him…