Well peoples this is just another little story I thought of, it's actually really dark compared to what I normally do. -.-' Hope you enjoy, please, if you can keep flames out of the reviews, I would appreciate it.

Disclaimer: Don't own anything, Yu Yu Hakusho, nothin'.

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I stared at the small razor blade in my hand, funny how such a small object can cause pain and take away frustration and anger. I looked down at the blood encrusted razors in the drawer below me. The drawer with the key. My mother must never find out.

I continued staring as I replayed the week through my head...

- Memories of the week-

I woke up and smelled the food cooking, I sighed, once again, another day of torment in that prison called school. Great, now I sounded like Yusuke.

I stood, grabbing my disgusting pink uniform and headed into my small bathroom, as I dressed, I looked down at the scars on my arm. I smirked happily. Well, if Hiei came and did the same thing again today then I would have a way to vent my frustration.

-breakfast-

After tying on the black bands I used to hide my scars from my family, I headed down to eat. Plastering a cheery smile on my face I kissed my mother's cheek and sat next to my step-brother, I acted as normal I as usually do, keeping a nice conversation, letting them think that I was normal.

Heh, such fools.

-school-

The same routine, I entered the school and got mauled by the females. Why me? I sweetly got through this torture and had managed to survive the day. I didn't know how much more I could take.

-now-

And basically that was how my week was, every day was the same thing. That is...until I got home, I couldn't even stand to really think about this, the pain and the anger that welled up inside me was too much to bear.

About 3 months ago, Hiei started stopping by every night. Then, one night, he raped me. I don't know why, he never said a word. He just continued. I was easily bruised and beaten up after each rape.

After a while, my body began getting used to it and I could take it. It still hurt, since he never prepared me for it, and often changed his times around, so it was always unexpected.

I growled deeply in the back of my throat, the damn fire demon was using my love for him against me. He knew I wouldn't kill him for that sole reason. Honestly, I couldn't understand my love for him. After all, he betrayed my trust and he hurt me almost every night.

I shoved the thoughts away, took a calming breath, placed the razor at my wrist, and cut, carefully avoiding the veins. I was still young, I didn't really want to die.

I watched as the blood flowed and the sting of the razor immediately soothed the anger, pain, hurt and frustration I felt from Hiei.

I wondered if this would always be a cycle for me, the same damn cycle that caused nothing but emptiness and pain.

Tomorrow was a weekend, mother would be going out with my step-father and brother, which meant I was alone. Hiei would surely come, I couldn't go to anyone else. I hadn't seen them in months, they stopped by on occasion, but I'm sure they thought that I was....gone, done from speaking to them.

I didn't think anymore on these thoughts as I cut my other wrist and then tossed the razor into the drawer as my blood dripped onto the floor, thankfully I didn't have rugs in my bathroom.

There was a pounding knock on my bedroom door. "Shuichi dear, dinner is almost ready!" Mother called to me.

"Yes mother." I said back and turned on the faucet and rinsed the blood away, I wrapped up the cuts and slipped on a long sleeved shirt to cover the wraps, I walked out of my bathroom after wiping up the blood. I saw Hiei sitting on my bed.

He stared evenly at me for the longest time and I stared back, the only thing he said after a while was, "I'll be waiting fox."

Yes, my life was a cycle, a dark cycle that would never end.