Author's Preface:
Gather around, my sweet angel muffins, and let me tell you the story of how this tongue-in-cheek piece came into the world. For this is no ordinary fanfic. In fact, I would hardly call myself a "fan" of the splendiferous trainwreck that is Diabolik Lovers. So it may be more accurate to say this is a purge. A total overhaul of everything wrong with what one reviewer described as a "god awful piece of sexual assault endorsing, bottom of the barrel, lowest common denominator trash."
In essence, "Revised" is a complete revamp an anime that seemed to have a lot of potential as a dark fantasy romance. Key word: seemed. Though the premise and animation of DiaLovers initially caught my fancy, I was stunned by the periodic glorification of rape and abusive nature of the characters. Worse still, the spineless protagonist failed to garner my sympathy in spite of the trauma she awkwardly endured. Her ultimate sacrifice was a weak attempt at redemption, rendered null and void when the cringe-worthy script proceeded to butcher any perceivable development. Every scene left me more disappointed, disgusted, and disturbed than the last. For whatever reason, I continued to watch the catastrophe unfold but the short episodes lingered long after the credits rolled.
Once I was done, I vegetated and wondered what kind of toxic garbage I had just consumed. It was diabolic in a bad sense. I needed a strong cleansing remedy. So I took things into my own hands and decided to rewrite the entire anime for fellow victims suffering from indigestion. At first, I just deleted a few gestures or add bits of insight as necessary. Lo and behold, these minor tweaks made everything so much better. Fascinated by this exercise in alchemy, I started taking more than a couple liberties with the source material. For instance, I changed Yui's name to Yuuki (lit. "courage" in Japanese) and gave her and the cast some more spunk and personality.
And as I sifted the wheat from chaff, I still attempted to preserve as much of the canon content as possible. The characters retain their physical appearances and their backstories are generally fleshed out in accordance to the games, manga anthologies, and anime. Sometimes I simply added a little flair to what was already there. Please note that this work is meant to parodize, not plagiarize. I only endeavor to add a touch of sugar, spice and subtle twist to an experience we audience members all share.
Allow me say one last thing before we begin: Thank you, dear reader, for giving this story a chance. I had a lot of fun with this project and hope you do too. Sit back, relax! This revised version of DiaLovers is a cake that is meant to be eaten.
Revised
It's much more remote out here than I thought it would be… Yuuki mused as the countryside scrolled past her window. She tapped the armrest of the door with her fingernails, impatient. The trip had been long and exhausting. She spent most of the time lost in her mind, occasionally chatting with the man at the steering wheel to break up the monotone.
Her destination? The home of an uncle whom she had never even met before. Judging by all the rural landscape, she expected to arrive at a fairly nondescript cabin where she would – hopefully – be greeted by a warm, friendly host. To her surprise, the road ended at a set of dark iron gates. Yuuki figured she'd have to walk the rest of the way but a fortress-like wall and a line of trees blocked her view. How long of a trek it would be, she had no idea.
Is this the right place? Yuuki wondered. A glance at her cellphone assured her that yes, this was indeed the correct address.
A flutter of happy anxiety filled her heart as Yuuki gingerly returned the shiny gadget to her handbag. Continuing to take in the estate from a safe distance, she blindly shuffled around in order to pull out a worn-out wallet.
"Thank you so much, sir." Yuuki said, tearing her gaze away to hand over a few large bills to the driver along with a handsome tip. "Please keep the change – it'll probably be late once you get back to civilization."
The girl hopped off the black taxi and the man helped unload her luggage. He wished her good luck and she did the same. She waved her ride goodbye, pocketing the depleted wallet as she did so. The leather was soft to the touch from continual use and she feared that it would fall apart if she wasn't careful.
Most of her belongings were second-hand or threadbare. The cellphone was a rare exception – a parting gift from her father so that they could keep in touch while he was abroad. She hoped he was doing well so far away from home. Without his constant presence, she felt lost. Uprooted.
"Come now, Yuuki. How are you going to move forward if you keep dwelling on such things?" the petite blonde asked herself. Straightening her back, she gathered her things and marched into the property.
It was a quiet, pleasant stroll. Quiet – save for the small battered suitcase rolling noisily behind her, and the birds settling high up in the trees. She looked up to see them flutter about, settling in for the evening. Only a narrow patch of sky was visible between the branches. Though the path was paved, the gentle slope slowed her down. She took her time to enjoy the view and the exercise. The woods then came to an abrupt end at a long set of stairs.
"What is this – a temple?" Yuuki laughed, carrying up her suitcase with both hands.
She imagined to find a traditional Japanese shrine when she reached the top. Instead, she found herself planted in front of a western-style mansion.
Nay, mansion was too homely of a title. This massive structure was something far more consequential. Something to be beheld, not seen. Something that looked like it came straight out of a storybook.
It reminded her of a dormant dragon lying atop a mountain, capable of swallowing her whole if aroused from its cold slumber. Perhaps it would stir if it managed to catch a whiff of the breath that puffed out from her lips. Her reverent discomfort was further aggravated by the fact that she herself was somewhat vertically-challenged...
In a word, it was the physical embodiment of "magnificence." In its dominating architectural splendor and solitude, it seemed to bear an atmosphere of intense melancholy. Though instinct told her to proceed with caution, she couldn't help but be drawn in by the enchanting scent of roses and rosemary which lingered in the air. Even the skies seemed to be weighed down by its gravitational pull. Like a diabolic halo, the sunset-painted horizon slowly surrounded its silhouette with shades of navy and gray. She was captivated.
"I must be dreaming," Yuuki muttered, pinching herself. "There's no way this is where I'm supposed to be staying."
But again, the address matched where expectations did not. Yuuki rubbed the sore she left on her arm and sighed.
The castle before her seemed like it shouldn't really exist outside of her fantasies. Such things belonged to the tales her father used to spin for her when she was still a child.
Then the legend of King David came to mind.
The hauntingly beautiful building easily dwarfed the greatest of goliaths. What better candidate to take on this dragon's den than a puny challenger like herself? She wasn't going to let a mere building intimidate her. It was time for this sheltered little girl to go off on her own adventure, wearing her hand-me-down gowns and a smile on her face, blissfully unaware of the journey ahead of her.
When she finally returned to her senses, the evening clouds had darkened considerably. Not ten seconds later, the heavens above started to release its heavy load. Her renewed sense of optimism was instantly snuffed out.
Yuuki cursed her absentmindedness and kicked herself into a run.
She quickened her pace as small wet pricks assailed her head and shoulders. Her suitcase bounced against the cobblestone in protest. The race against the rain left her lungs short of oxygen. Taking shelter underneath the patio, she let go of her luggage and tried to catch her breath.
"What a night this is turning out to be!" Yuuki exclaimed, patting herself dry as best as she could.
Since there were no doorbells to be seen, she rapped the front door with a large, old-fashioned knocker.
"Hello?" Yuuki called out.
She waited politely before trying again. The heavy ring was attached to a bronze lion that seemed to be in mid-roar. The detail of the metalwork gave it a lifelike appearance. If she decided to pet its head, would it bite her finger off? Haha, yeah right. This wasn't La Belle et la Bête. There was no beast on the other side of the door, planning to imprison her until she fell in love with him.
Clang. Clang. Clang.
The drizzle was steadily getting worse and the lack of an answer made her fidgety. She needed to get away from the moisture in the air. It made her hair curly and she wanted to make a good first impression. And more importantly, the temperature was steadily dropping as the sun dipped behind the mountains, leaving her blowing on her hands as she remained on stand by.
"Achoo-!"
Oops. Imagine catching a cold on her first night!
Yuuki tried the knob. To her surprise, it was unlocked. She suppressed a wry smile, closed her eyes, and inhaled deeply in order to brace herself.
Sometimes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.
She released her breath and pushed open the door, knowing full well that she was blatantly disregarding any sense of common etiquette. Her host would simply have to overlook her momentary lapse in manners.
"Please excuse my intrusion." Yuuki announced as she invited herself in.
The grand staircase stopped the teenager in her tracks. Center stage hung a giant crystal chandelier, illuminating the entire foyer and the elegant wrap-around steps leading up to the second story. Who knew that a light fixture could knock the wind out of you? The entrance hall was a stellar work of art worthy of appreciation. And Lord knows that she fully appreciated.
Yuuki shifted on the balls of her feet as she stood again by the door, which she had slowly closed behind her. The fact that the lights were on meant that her hosts must be at home. She looked around as she waited for someone to receive her. When nobody did, she dared to proceed on her own.
Everything sparkled, like diamond droplets on a gilded rose. The floor was polished to the point where Yuuki could faintly see her own reflection in it. Busts of important-looking individuals sat upon marble pillars – waiting, watching as she nervously shuffled forward. Each step resounded loudly against the monumental hush. Thick velvet black-out curtains covered the majority of the windows, so barely any of the fading twilight filtered inside. Dozens of candles flickered in the cold blue darkness – doubled in their effect by tall mirrors on the walls. What would normally come off as a gaudy and ostentatious display of wealth felt wholly appropriate in this setting.
"Um... Is anyone there?"
No one in sight. She pondered the unlikely possibility that they hadn't been informed about her arrival. Concern faintly began to materialize in the back of her mind.
You'd think I'd set off some kind of security system by now. I guess they don't have to worry about thieves way out here but the fact that the front door was unlocked is worrisome all the same…
Thunder rumbled lightly in the background when Yuuki noticed that she was not quite as alone as she believed herself to be. Someone – a boy – lay unconscious on a sofa to her far right.
She assumed that he was around her age and, judging by his careless attire, a resident. Nobody else would ever have the guts to nap with their mouths open in such an unbecoming manner when surrounded by such grandeur... Did he just snore? She stifled a giggle and approached him.
As she came closer, she couldn't help but notice how flawlessly attractive he was in spite of his messy state. Like one of those people who could sleep and sneeze and cry and still look good doing it. She bit her lip, chiding herself for her scandalous thoughts.
"Excuse me," the girl gently declared, just loud enough to be heard over the pitter-patter of the rain hitting the bay window behind him.
The fellow teenager made no response. The only movement in the room was the distorted shadow of the rain drops running down his nearly-translucent skin. She loathed to disturb the peaceful picture. But what was she to do now? Make herself comfortable?
She inched forward and lightly touched his hand in order to rouse him.
"He's cold!" Yuuki gasped, pulling away reflexively.
Not a 'turn up the heater, it's nearly Antarctica in here' sorta cold, but the bone-chilling bitterness found in the heart of a cave. His shocking lack of heat was like a zap of electricity that ran up her arm and left goosebumps in its wake. Recovering from her surprise, she immediately checked his wrist for a pulse... which wasn't there.
Yuuki dropped her things in a panic. "Are you okay?!"
The suitcase skittered away due to the sheer violence of its landing, producing loud echoes in the process. Normally, it would have startled a sleeping person. The boy remained unresponsive. She frantically pat his icy cheek a couple times, hoping that he'd come to.
"Hey, answer me!"
Desperately looking for any sign of life, she pressed her ear against his bare chest – his shirt was unbuttoned to an indecent degree – and failed to hear the telling thump-thump-thump she was looking for.
"Please, Lord, tell me this isn't happening."
On the verge of vomiting all over the expensive Turkish rug, she twirled away from the corpse in a dizzy haze and tried to make sense of this horrifying situation.
She pressed a shaking palm to her forehead and tried to steady herself. Should she call for an ambulance? The girl fumbled through the front pocket of her discarded bag.
Calm down, she told herself as she procured her cell. Death is nothing new. You've seen it before. However, the dead bodies she'd seen before were resting in their funerary boxes... Not in a mansion in the middle of a forested nowhere.
She started to dial the emergency number when a set of pale fingers snatched it away from her. With a yelp, Yuuki looked up to see that the boy had finally stirred.
"Stop making such a racket," he grumbled, irritation etched in his handsome face. His voice was gruff from sleep.
A stray tear that had built up in her frightened state rolled down her cheek. The petite blonde brushed it away, confused. "You're – you're alive!"
"Duh." He ran a hand through his unruly mop of dark reddish-brown hair and yawned expansively. She flinched at the sight of his pearly white... fangs?
"But I thought-"
"That it was perfectly acceptable to molest people when they're asleep?"
Yuuki's face grew cherry red with embarrassment.
"N-no! Of course not, I was just trying to wake you," the female hotly retorted. She sniffled and her tone softened. "Mercy, you nearly gave me a heart attack."
"Serves you right for violating my personal space."
His response doused the good-Samaritan in her and lit a flicker of annoyance in its place.
"Well, I'll be sure not to disturb you again, pretty boy." she muttered under her breath.
Apparently, he was now alert enough to catch her snark.
"Again?" he repeated. "I hope you're not planning on sabotaging any more of my naps, shortie."
Yuuki hardly knew what compelled her to say, "Then you should pray that the opportunity doesn't present itself." Maybe it was her Napoleon complex speaking. Regardless, the boy seemed to find the humor in her deadpan delivery.
Sporting a dashing yet arrogant smirk, he gave her a slow once-over. Suddenly, she regretted wearing her favorite pair of shorts and an oversized pink top which slipped off her thin frame and exposed her shoulders. She felt naked under his verdant gaze. She couldn't rightly fault him for ogling since she'd done the same earlier. To complain would be hypocritical of her. Refusing to show him any hint of her discomfort, she crossed her arms and gave him a look that wordlessly asked "are you done?"
"Look. I'm sorry for creating such a fuss," she huffed, regretting having called him pretty. The Freudian slip had clearly inflated his ego. "But I'm not going to apologize for looking out for your well-being. I was about to call for help, knowing full well that it would take forever to get here, and was willing to sit here beside your dead body until it did."
"Were you seriously that concerned about me?" His shit-eating grin widened.
"Yeah, you're welcome. And actually I take it back. I am sorry for bothering you. I should have left sleeping dogs lie." She made a move to straighten herself out and he caught her wrist to stop her. He might as well have branded her.
"Hey, I'm just teasing, I'm not actually mad."
Yuuki lifted a supercilious eyebrow and tugged herself away from his grasp. "You're not?"
"I mean, I don't blame you for getting a bit touchy-feely back there," he responded as she massaged her hands to try to get some warmth back in them. "Just couldn't resist my devilishly good looks, right?"
"God! Have you no shame?" she spluttered. Oh no, he knew. He was one of those handsome pricks who knew they were cute and thrived off the attention.
"Oh?" His vivid green eyes twinkled with amusement. "I'm the shameless one here? You're the one entering my house without permission. Trespassing was a crime, last time I checked."
Guilty as charged. She wanted to bite back and hide in a corner all at once – anything but gape at this guy who was obviously trying to rile her up. He was doing an excellent job, too.
Don't tell me that this CONCEITED child is a cousin of mine. Yuuki thought, mortified.
Never had she become so frazzled by a stranger before. Her cheeks felt warm, which meant that she probably looked like a red velvet cake with a dollop of buttercream frosting – what with the flushed face and her platinum hair. So much for good impressions.
"Ayato, what's going on here?" someone said, entering the room.
The interruption wiped the lopsided grin off the boy's obnoxious mug. Yuuki thanked her stars and stood up, using the opportunity to regain her composure.
"Reiji," the boy greeted with a scowl. "I don't know. Some random chick barged in here and we ended up having a chat... And it's Ayato-sama to you."
"The only one who has the authority to be called by such an honorific is your father," the young man replied.
"Pfft. He was more a father to a rat like you than he ever was to me." Ayato grumbled.
What's this, what's this? Yuuki perked up. Does sleeping beauty here have daddy issues?
The young man held up a gloved hand, cutting off the two from making any further comments. "Learn to reign your tongue. It is ill-mannered to speak of private affairs in front of outsiders."
"Tch."
Reiji turned towards the girl and examined her from head to toe. Rather than checking her out the way Ayato had, she felt that he was taking note of her lack of pigmentation. And perhaps her commoner-ishness. His scrutiny and flashing corrective lenses caused her to empathize with bacteria underneath a microscope. At six feet, the slender young man overshadowed her with a grand total of ten inches. She looked somewhat like a miniature porcelain doll next to him. He was all sharp angles and clean lines while she was fluffy and soft-looking.
"Please excuse my negligence. I am the one in charge of the household's affairs. And you are...?" Reiji inquired, readjusting his glasses.
"My name is Komori Yuuki. I, uhh-" She looked at the young man in front of her, puzzled as to who he was exactly. His stiff posture, butler-like attire, and cultured aura suggested that he was some sort of high-class servant. "I was invited to live here with my relatives."
The older male gave her a curt nod. "There are many who stay within the premises of our estate as full-time staff. Who exactly may your relatives be?"
"Oh no, I haven't come to work here." Yuuki replied shyly.
"If you could just give me their names, that would be sufficient."
"Umm… a Mr. Sakamaki invited me. I'm his late cousin's daughter."
Both of the young men looked at her sharply. A feeling of dread began to pool within her stomach.
"I haven't heard anything about this," Reiji said.
"Huh? Then there must have been some sort of misunderstanding. This is the Sakamaki residence, no?"
His thin lips twitch downward, yet the displeasure showed on his countenance for no longer than a split second. Yuuki doubted if she had even seen it. His elevated, polite language betrayed not an ounce of malice towards her. If anything, his cold civility only indicated that he was skeptical of her identity. Frankly, Yuuki didn't blame him. She did just prance into the place.
"If there is a misunderstanding, miss, I can assure you that it was not from our end."
"But this is definitely the address my father gave me." Yuuki insisted, slightly desperate. She hadn't come all this way only to be turned away.
Reiji regarded Ayato in a way that almost resembled a glare. She was slightly surprised that he would display such a hostility towards his young master. Then again, if she had to serve a brat for as long as the two seemed to know each other, she probably wouldn't hold back either.
"Explain."
"How the hell should I know?" Ayato threw back, miffed. "There's no way a lowly human like her could be... y'know."
Yuuki frowned at him. "Are you calling me a peasant?"
Ayato blinked at her then simply shrugged. "You said it first."
...
"I must apologize, Ayato-san. I'm afraid I misjudged you." Yuuki said with her most lethal lady-voice, determined to keep her cool. "You're even more of a prick than I thought."
"Hah. You're pretty gutsy for a girl who's about to be thrown out into the stormy night."
A shiver ran down her spine. The threat was all too real. Even if she somehow managed to call another cab, she doubted that she had enough money left in her wallet to pay for it.
The redhead smiled knowingly. "I like this one, Reiji. Can we keep her?"
Yuuki nearly hissed at the boy. What was she? Some kind of stray cat to be adopted as his little house pet? She was almost ready to throw him out into the stormy night. See how he liked that!
"For now, let's take this discussion elsewhere." Reiji finally declared after a thoughtful pause, slicking back his purplish-black bangs. "Follow me."
"Okay." Yuuki answered quietly, her mounting irritation withering away instantly.
Here she was, causing these people trouble. Even if this had been a jarring welcome so far, she was more than willing to help them sort this mess out. If they decided to kick her out, she'd request to stay the night before leaving in the morning. She just wanted to crawl into bed and call it a day. Surely they could spare a room either way.
Thankfully, it seemed like this Reiji was of the same mind.
"See to her luggage," he told a manservant who appeared from thin air, scaring the living daylights out of an unsuspecting Yuuki. The young man leading the way was kind enough to ignore the tiny squeal that escaped her. Ayato, on the other hand, snorted under his breath as he followed behind them.
Once settled in the salon, Reiji requested a full account of the events that led her to unannounced arrival at their doorstep. Her explanation was cut short by a dude wearing a fedora and a fur-trimmed jacket.
"Oh my," he exclaimed, sending a seductive smile down to Yuuki from the railing of the loft. He carried himself with the same level of irksome self-confidence as Ayato. "What's such a cute little sheep doing here? They usually stay in the other end of the house."
"I-" Yuuki started to reply.
"Mmm. You smell really nice too..." the stranger murmured, suddenly by her side and a little too close for comfort.
"Wh-How did you?"
"No need to be flustered, mademoiselle. 'Tis but a simple parlor trick," he said before she could question his teleportation act.
"I-I see…"
"Please call me Laito," he added, kissing her on the back of her hand.
She looked on with abject horror as prince not-so-charming planted his chilled lips onto her appendage. Do people even do that in real life?
Another younger-looking, sleep-deprived boy simultaneously appeared behind her. To say the least, Yuuki was baffled.
"Teddy and I wanna say hello," the newcomer whined, giving the teddy bear in his arm a squeeze. She blinked up at him over her shoulder. He had dyed his hair a lavender shade and wore matching contact lenses. Was he into the unicorn fad or something? An aspiring pop idol? A cosplay junkie?
Leaning in to look at her, the boy asked, "Is that your natural eye color?"
"Y-yes?"
The answer came out like a question because she knew the idea of pink pupils was fairly outlandish. According to the doctors, she had some sort of albinism. Due to Japan's homogeneous population, she had never seen another person like her in real life. She could never get used to the staring. Even after explaining her condition, some people continued to think that her platinum-golden locks and glistening sorbet eyes were fake. Maybe she would finally grow into her own skin one day. Until then, she learned to live with being a social anomaly.
He beamed at her as he moved away from her personal bubble. "So are mine, in case you were wondering. Yours are really pretty. I wish I had a similar color in my collection..."
"Um, thanks?" Yuuki said, sufficiently weirded out. Firstly, he seemed totally unfazed and secondly, his irises were a light purple. Purple!
"Boys, please, behave yourselves." Reiji chided, catching the attention of the duo immediately. He pointed his chin to the fedora-man. "Especially you, Laito."
"But everyone wants to play with a new toy. Right, Kanato?" Laito said to the purple-haired boy, who eagerly nodded in agreement.
Yuuki gave Laito a scathing side-eye, and inadvertently discovered a little beauty mark on the right side of his chin. She also noticed that Laito had bleached the tips of his hair to a soft blonde. Ayato's reddish mane was just a tad shorter and less well-groomed. Otherwise, the two were practically identical: they had the same pale skin, the same chartreuse pupils, the same slender build and height.
I don't know about the others but Ayato and Laito are definitely related.
"Keep your nasty paws outta this, you little slutbag." Ayato growled at whom she assumed to be his brother. "I saw her first, so she belongs to me."
"Excuse me?" Yuuki scoffed but was drowned out by an angry outburst from Reiji.
"Ayato! Watch your mouth. Need I once again remind you that we are in the presence of-"
"Of a lady. I know." Ayato finished with a roll of his eyes. "But look at this kid. She's more girl than woman."
"As if you know the difference," someone else countered before Yuuki could defend her offended dignity. "You're no more a man than she is."
Everyone's attention turned towards the door. The voice belonged to another adolescent whose silvery, snow-white hair covered one of his blood red eyes. Suddenly, she understood why Kanato was so quick to accept her rare pigmentation – or, rather, lack of. It was a fellow albino!
"That's cheeky coming from you, Subaru. Didn't your mama teach you to respect your elders?" Ayato jeered, without losing a beat.
"Shut up," the albino sneered venomously, seething with ill-suppressed anger. He stood against the far wall, but the tenseness in every fiber of his figure was tangible in spite of the distance between them. He looked like a feral animal, coiled up and ready to pounce.
Yuuki gawked at the crowd, unsure of how to react. This was just normal banter between boys, right? So why did it seem like the air was tingling with ill-contained hatred?
She glanced back at Ayato, who was regrettably the most familiar one among them. He seemed accustomed to the show of undiluted aggression. He tossed his head back to address the others. "Does this bastard actually have a reason to be here – or did he show up to the party just to pick a fight with me?"
"The world doesn't revolve around you, dumbass." Subaru replied with a grimace. "It reeked of human so I came to investigate."
"QUIET, BOTH OF YOU!"
Well. This is awkward.
Reiji cleared his throat and continued in a calmer manner. "Has anyone been informed about Miss Komori's arrival?"
"Komori, you say?"
How many of these guys are there? Yuuki wondered, turning to eyeball the latest person who had just announced his presence.
He was a beanstalk of a man whose deep voice matched his lethargic state, for he remained lounging on a plush chaise, seemingly undisturbed by all the commotion. The earbuds plugged in his skull implied that he hadn't been paying attention in the first place. He didn't even bother to turn his head to look at her – the current object of everyone's undying curiosity.
"Shu." Reiji spat accusingly. "Do you know anything about this young lady?"
By which he evidently meant: why haven't you informed me about this in advance?
"Maybe." Shu mumbled lazily, resting the heel of his palm on his curly honey-blonde hair. It was a richer, darker color than her own. Unlike the crazy shades the others were all sporting, it seemed normal. Natural. His distinctly non-Asian features filled brought her heart some measure of relief. Yes, some of these guys might just be her long-lost family members. And as strange as they were, she felt happy to have found them at last.
Unsatisfied with the vague response, Reiji frowned. "I'd like a proper explanation."
Shu sighed, opening his sky blue eyes. "That man called the other day. He said to treat the guest from the church with respect. She's probably the girl he mentioned."
"What a scrawny little thing he sent this time." Laito stated, casually twirling the end of one of her yellow starlight locks. She had scooted away from him earlier, but he maintained less than an arms-length distance between them, much to the chagrin of his look-alike. "A decent meal would do her some good, don't you think? We ought to fatten her up a bit."
Why? So you can eat me for Christmas dinner? No thanks, buddy. And what do you mean by "this time"?
"The church? I doubt a woman of religion would bare her shoulders, let alone her thighs." Reiji commented, unconvinced.
She nearly laughed at his skepticism. This was the twenty-first century! Faith and fashion were not mutually exclusive. Or was her feminine wiles too much for these XY-chromosomes to handle?
Christ. Have you never seen a pair of legs on a person before?
Then again, Ayato only rolled up one side of his pants to show off a lightly-toned calf. Maybe seeing the second leg was throwing these guys off.
"No, he's right. I am the guest you're expecting." Yuuki said, finally getting in a word edgewise and trying to make it count. "My father never imposed any dress codes on us. He says that true modesty is an inward state."
Laito laughed, sensing some kind of yummy scandal. "You mean father as in a member of the church or is he like your actual father?"
"Both. She's the priest's adopted daughter." Shu answered on her behalf.
The five young men stare at her for confirmation. She smiled awkwardly and nodded as if to say "what he said."
"Wait." Ayato pipes up. "So just to be clear, flat-chest here is the prospective bride?"
Yuuki choked on air. Flat-chest?! And what's this nonsense about being a "bride"?
"There would be no other reason to invite her here." Kanato observed in a matter-of-fact way, while one beady brown eye of his teddy bear bore a hole right through her. The thing was like a demented, pirate version of the generic cuddly toy that every kid owned. The haphazard stitch marks made it look handmade, while the golden heart-shaped arrow on it's eye patch was embroidered so delicately that she thought it was a print at first. She wondered if it was supposed to look endearing. It was really starting to creep her out at this point.
"Oh, I forgot to mention something," Shu added as an afterthought, moving her focus back to the discussion. "He told us not to kill the bride this time."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Yuuki demanded, sick and tired of their cryptic jokes by this point. Shu had pointedly glanced at her when he said 'bride' and that troubled her greatly.
The group stared at her in a solemn silence. She tried not to squirm.
"My apologies." Reiji offered with a click of his tongue. "It looks like you've come to the right place after all. Since it seems like you'll be around for some time, allow me do the introductions."
Finally, they were getting somewhere! Although something still felt off, Yuuki shook it off and listened attentively. She could uncover the truth lurking beyond the subtext some other time.
"That is the eldest, Shu. He is currently acting as the master of this estate. I am Reiji. You may come to me if you have any problems. These three troublemakers are Laito, Kanato and Ayato respectively. He is Subaru. Altogether, we are the six sons of the Sakamaki household."
"Aha! This is the Sakamaki residence!" Yuuki blurted excitedly before blushing profusely. She had thought one of the brothers was a butler! And realizing that she had cut him off with her outburst, her face burned even hotter. "Oh, um, excuse me..."
"You are excused." Reiji returned.
The others seemed to find her lack of decorum hilarious. The low, masculine rumble of laughter reminded her that she was alone in a room full of boys who were intimidating and bewitching all at once. Forget the fact that they were supposed to be her relatives: how was a plain chickadee like her supposed to be housemates with such wealthy, well-endowed, well-established folk?
But just on a basic human level, she shouldn't have allowed herself to become so rude and abrasive towards them. Even if they were a bit off-kilter.
Swallowing a slice of humble pie, she finally let her building frustration dissipate. In its absence, all that was left was a tired, demure and sweet girl who intended to make the best of their new arrangement. The change was practically visible.
At their expectant gazes, she shyly reintroduced herself. "As you've probably gathered by now, I'm Komori Yuuki. Pleased to make your acquaintance."
Ayato snickered. "If this is what it's like when you're pleased, imagine what it's like when you're cranky. Are you always this tense, blondie?"
"I -uh- am just a tad exhausted from the trip." Yuuki explained, leisurely running her hand up and down her arm. "Speaking of which, where is Mr. Sakamaki? He must be your father, right? I ought to go thank him for extending his invitation to me."
She distractedly pat her shorts down, missing the significant but brief moment of tension shared between the brothers. "Where did my phone go? I need let my dad know that I got here in one piece."
Uninterested in the guest's misplaced possessions, Reiji approached Shu and began talking to him in hushed tones on the other side of the room. The younger ones ignored them so she failed to notice their side conversation.
"Looking for this?" Ayato asked teasingly as he flipped out her confiscated cell phone.
"Ah, I remember now! Thank-"
"Oops," he chuckled, "not so fast, short stuff!"
She stared blankly as he pulled his hand away. She met his playful eyes and looked at him quizzically. She offered her hand, expecting him to drop the phone into it.
"No, no. You have to come get it."
"You... Rascal! Give it back!" Yuuki exclaimed, but he made sure to do just the opposite and keep it far away from her reach.
Ayato wasn't even standing up. He was occupying an armchair while she hopped around it. Their height difference was so unfair. As the boy became increasingly amused at how easily he kept the bait at bay, the girl girl became increasingly flustered at her many failed attempts to retrieve it. Soon enough, she almost stumbled onto his lap and found herself in an all-too-compromising position. With an indignant huff, Yuuki pulled away.
"Giving up already? I guess if you say the magic word..."
She rolled her eyes. She couldn't believe she was being dragged into such child's play. Weren't they too old for this?
"Please, return my phone?"
"No can do, darling dear!" Ayato cackled, tossing it into the air like a bean bag.
"Yeah, I didn't think it would be that easy anyway." Yuuki mumbled, disheartened.
"You're far too cruel to the poor girl." Laito laughed, positively tickled by his brother's antics. Ayato looked askance at his audience mid-toss and she jumped at the opportunity to catch him off guard.
Irritated by the entire spectacle, Subaru stalked behind the armchair and stole the gadget before it could fall back into Ayato's hands.
Nearly tumbling over the original prankster, Yuuki grabbed hold of the arms of his chair to steady herself. Ayato looked straight down her shirt and grinned, flashing his abnormally long canines at her. One day, she was going to smack that smug look right off his face for humiliating her so.
Breathless, she looked up and gratefully stretched out her palm towards Subaru. Completely unsympathetic towards her plight, however, he crushed the cell with his bare fist.
"Wha-what the hell is wrong with you people!?" Yuuki shouted as she watched the broken pieces of metal and glass fall to the ground. Tears pricked the edges of her eyes, as she could not comprehend the sheer disrespect she had just witnessed. Any earlier lapse in her own behavior paled in comparison.
Yuuki fluttered to the ground and began picking up the damaged body. She held the cellphone delicately in her lap, saw that it was beyond repair, and tried to keep herself from crying. This was a present from her father. When he'd surprised her with it, he laughed at her visible and verbal hesitation then bid her to not worry about the price tag.
Her father was the kind of man who continued to use a corded landline well into the 21st century. As his closest disciple, Yuuki had inherited his code of simplicity. Satisfied with their humble lifestyle, she never tried to satiate the void left by the absence of a mother with material trinkets. However, the few belongings they did have were treasured.
Yuuki resettled herself on the couch in a trance. To her, this small gadget was a precious momento that she planned to hold onto for years to come.
"Don't cry. You don't need that silly old thing." Kanato chided, once again appearing beside her.
"It was brand new! And I promised to take care of it!" She turned helplessly towards Subaru. "How am I supposed to contact my father now?"
"Why are you freaking out?" Ayato asked, unperturbed by the fact that Subaru had rid him of his play-thing. "You'd only need to talk to your pops if we weren't going to take you in."
"He's right, sweetie." Laito added, flirtatious as always. "We can keep you company if you feel lonely."
He attempted to peck Yuuki on the cheek to prove their closeness in proximity. She squeaked and moved away in disgusted shock, tripping on the coffee table in the process.
"Ouch." The petite blonde sat up and glanced at the fresh scrapes on her elbow and knee. Really, now. This was completely uncalled for.
Once she got over the initial sting, Yuuki felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up straight.
In that split second, the atmosphere had turned positively murderous. Once again, all eyes were on her... And instantly, all the signs clicked. The isolation, the pale skin, the coldness, the absent pulse, the sharp canines, the materializing from thin air, the strange appearances, the ruthless apathy, the inhuman strength, the deep and dark and dangerous allure. There was but one utterly illogical, completely untenable, and extremely dubious explanation that made perfect sense. Her bottom lip trembled as she told herself that it was all in her head.
When Yuuki slowly turned to look at the others, she saw them as the hungry vampires they truly were. She screamed.