(EDIT) Fixed the description, it should flow much more neater now, hopefully.
A.N. – Hello. Long-time FullMetal-Alchemist lover here venturing on the daunting task of writing her first fic in the alchemist universe. I suppose I will have Selvanic's absolutely amazing fictions to blame for that. C:
Previously dedicated to Kismetti on dA, this story was a oneshot of both our ideas that accumulated and grew into a completely different (and much longer) story.
It will contain adult themes at various points, so please, if it's not your cup of tea, click the back button.
I really do hope you will enjoy this story. C:
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Disclaimer: Characters don't belong to me. FullMetal Alchemist belongs to Hiromu Arakawa.
Lyrics: Dare You To Scream - Cauterize
Pairing: Envy x Ed
Warning: References to yaoi/shonen ai (love between men), heavy gore, violence, language.
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Part 1 – 'Dare You to Scream'
Alchemy.
The laws of breaking down a substance and remoulding it. The impossible combination of science, art and sorcery.
If alchemy is possible, anything previously deemed impossible should be labelled as difficult – but achievable.
Alchemists.
Scientist. Explorers. Heroes of the common people.
Homunculi.
Artificially created humans. Shattered hopes. Committers of possibly the greatest sin.
Two opposite sides of the coin, as far as they can possibly be.
A gap, perhaps intended never to be breached.
A distance too great to cross – at least, without your hopeful hand getting snapped in half, devoured by hellish flames and burnt into bloody ash.
However, it has always been in human nature to be curious.
And emotions – especially passionate ones that bond souls together, have known to be rather ignorant of common sense.
Wind howled outside the shadowed, building, slowly disintegrating the crumbling brick base into fine fragments. The skeletal arms of tree branches whipped the scratched glass, smearing thin lines on the dust-caked surface.
The house was dark and empty, what some might label as haunted.
The interior was just as gloomy as its half-demolished outside. Silence was only broken by the continuous dripping of water, blackened by grime and neglect, from the rotten ceiling.
A soft snicker was heard from the corner.
Leaning against the cracked walls, a pair of violet eyes flickered lazily open, half hidden by thick, trench-green locks. His casual stance stiffened for a minute as he stretched, his milky white skin illuminated for a second by the stray moonlight oozing from the cracked glass.
Pale fingers reached to smooth down the small amount of clothing he wore. Bare feet made their way across the room, soundless like a prowling panther.
His shoulder brushed past a battered calendar, nailed to the doorpost. His eyes narrowed for a split second before his figure disappeared down the rickety stairs.
Circled in red ink on the stained paper was a double-digit number.
February 3rd.
And right next to it, in cobalt blue ink, was a rough doodle of a gravestone.
Pour another drink for me
I like it better when I'm numb
The constant conversation drilled into his faintly resisting eardrums as he leaned forwards, resting his head on his bare arms. The stale smell of cheap tobacco and alcohol washed over his delicate senses. He had long grown used it.
He tapped his nails on the stained counter, eyes flashing impatiently. When the chipped glass was set on the counter, the green-haired male threw it back immediately, gulping down the amber liquid with the ease of one drinking water.
Slamming the empty glass down, he pushed it towards the bartender.
"Another."
She raised an eyebrow, raising the plastic pitcher from under the counter. Wordlessly, she refilled his cup, knowing better then to make a comment.
After that one particular night, after they managed to free the manager and the unfortunate rookie bartender from under the broken pool table after hours of struggle, they all knew better then to ask questions from the androgynous guest.
A slight smirk appeared at the corner of Envy's mouth when he saw the young brunette nervously nibble on her lip. A chuckle slipped past his lips as he recalled the night where he had wrecked havoc and destroyed half the bar in the process.
It really was quite wonderful to hear all those people scream and run for cover when he hurled the chairs and tables in that fool's direction with ease.
Ah, the sweet, sweet terror.
Reaching for the glass, his miniscule smile died. Throwing the second shot down as quickly as the fist one, he mentally welcomed the slight burn of the alcohol on his throat.
He pushed the glass back and watched the girl fill it again, eyes distant.
He needed it.
Otherwise, he wouldn't be able to get through this fucked night and carry out the mission.
He needed to numb his senses right down to primitive instinct, where no conscious thought was present.
He glared into the fuzzy depths of his glass before swallowing it in one move.
…I hate you…
Something's gotta give
These conversations make me dumb
"According to numerous but fruitless investigations in Central, our experts have concluded that this case is quite-"
The young blonde's head fell forward, to be snatched up seconds later. Lifting up his folder, he used it as a screen to hide his enormous yawn that threatened to swallow the room.
Edward Elric, the alchemy prodigy, the youngest one to ever achieve the title of State Alchemist at a ripe young age, bordering from childhood to puberty, was bored out of his skull.
Resting his head on a gloved hand, he stared at the talking officer at the end of the long table, resisting the extreme temptation not to yawn straight into the pompous bastard's self-obsessed face.
His half-lidded amber eyes, weighed down by sleep and sheer boredom, travelled to the far side of the room. Above the ruler-straight haircut of the speaking officer, he could make out the brief outline of the oak tree outside the main building. The branches danced wildly in what seemed like rough wind, the leaves torn away long ago.
It's going to be cold tonight… he mused, tapping his free hand on his notes aimlessly. He glanced down at the paper provided, noting with slight guilt that it was perfectly empty – save for a couple of drawings of Mustang being humiliated by Hawkeye, Al waving from a bed and a little scribble that looked like a retarded pineapple.
The blonde smiled a bit as he regarded the latter before reaching for the pen and scribbling it out further. The last thing he wanted was someone to recognize who he was trying to draw…
"Any questions?" Ed blinked at the sudden silence, just to see the officer sitting down at last, and Mustang rising.
"If not, that concludes this meeting. Everyone's dismissed."
With a thankful sigh, Ed swept up his papers carelessly and bolted for the door.
Thank the Lord.
Any more dry Alchemy and politics talk and he would go insane.
Whistling under his breath, he smiled when he reached into the pockets of his crimson cloak, fingering the small crumpled piece of paper he found on his windowsill that morning, tied to the handle with a familiar-looking hair-tie a certain someone always managed to rip from the end of the blonde's ponytail every time they met.
Hey chibi-chan
If you're not too caught up with your official crap (you damn better not be), then get your cute ass down to the park.
I trust you know which – unless your incredible memory suddenly failed you, I think you will know which one.
E.
Chuckling to himself, Ed quickly reached up to re-braid his loose hair. He was looking forward to seeing the other again – it was just what he needed at the end of this bitch of a day.
At the other side of the town, Envy leaned against a lamppost, hands shoved in the pockets of his short skirt. The wind whipped his long hair around his face mercilessly as he stared into the darkness, frowning.
He swallowed when he heard hurried footsteps and the outline of the short young man drew closer from the darkness.
He forced on a neutral look as the other stepped up to join him.
"You're late, chibi-chan." He said quietly.
"Meeting dragged out…" the other waved, smoothing his cloak down with a shrug. "Mustang wouldn't shut his mouth."
The other chuckled, despite his mood and reached to flick the other's forehead gently.
"And here I was, all cold and worried, thinking you'll ditch me."
"You never get cold." The other raised an eyebrow, rubbing his forehead with a small frown. "And if you did, you could always shift more clothes on…"
"I don't like changing them." The other protested, hugging his torso.
"Would it kill you to wear something less revealing and more appropriate, Envy?" the blonde teased, poking the other's bare stomach.
"You wound me, chibi-chan." Envy replied, pulling a face of mock hurt.
Ed laughed and leaned against the other's taller form.
"I'm sorry. And you know I like you just the way you are."
The homunculus tensed at the other's closeness for a moment, looking the other way, his hold on his skinny body tightening.
The blonde alchemist frowned at the other's uncharacteristic move. By now, the other would have not only pinned him against the lamppost and 'said hello' in their usual passionate fashion, but he would be grinning to no end with that sadistic little smirk of his.
Hell…he hasn't even remarked on how shorter he was since the last time they've met…
He cocked his head and looked up at the taller male, his profile hidden in the shadows. The crackling street-lamp gave the other's skin a sulphur-like tint, the line of his mouth somehow sharper, the shadows around his eyes deeper.
"Envy?" he said softly, snaking an arm around the other's thin waist. "You okay?"
…no, Ed. I'm not…in fact; I've never, ever been as fucked as I am now…
The other looked down at him, suddenly smirking.
"Awh, so concerned, chibi-chan?" he teased, voice tainted with maliciousness and a slight murderous tint that made the hairs on the back of Ed's neck stand up.
He hadn't heard that voice since the Fifth Laboratory…
When he last attempted to kill Edward.
Frowning, he searched the other's face. "Envy. You feeling okay?" he repeated softly. "You're acting…really weird."
A hand sneaked under the other's chin, lifting his head up so their eyes met.
You look so good when you're scared
It turns me on when you fear for your life
"Never better, Edo-kun…" the homunculus purred, curling the finger under the blonde's chin. "Never better."
Ed instinctively grabbed Envy's wrist, taken aback by the other's eyes.
Raw, fiery and swirling with a whirlpool of emotions.
He thought he saw a flash of sincere regret and deep pain before the green-haired boy blinked and chuckled again, deep voice velvety and full of malice.
Suddenly, Ed felt the other grab his wrists and push him backwards. Stumbling and trying not loose his balance, the other gasped when his back hit a brick wall hard. Panting and grunting at the sudden dull pain, he glared up at Envy, mouth open to complain.
However, his words died instantly when he heard the other's low laugh.
The blood slowly started to freeze in his veins when he saw the look on the other's face.
Bloodthirsty. Vicious.
Psychopathic.
A mirror of their very first encounter.
Ed shook his head, not understanding the sudden shift in his lover's attitude. Eyes wide, he struggled against his grip, only to bite his lip to muffle a cry of pain as he felt Envy's nails dig in his skin.
"The fuck?!" he managed to stutter, glaring at the sin. In response, he only got another low laugh, making his throat clench as the homunculus leant close to him.
"Did I ever tell you…" he murmured, breath tickling his cheeks, "…how I absolutely love that look on your pretty face?" He released Ed's left hand to grab both wrists with one hand and pin them beside the alchemist. With his free hand, he traced a finger up to the alchemist's neck.
"W-what look?" Ed gasped, biting his lip.
"This look." He mused, pressing a nail down on the slowly panicking vein on the side, grinning with satisfaction as the blonde's breathing quickened.
"Yes. That look. The look of utter terror…it's been so long since I've seen it on you…" he murmured, leaning in to trace the now wildly beating vein with his teeth.
The canines slowly sank in the other's flesh, only nicking the skin slightly, missing the vital point by millimetres.
Amber eyes widened further, and Ed couldn't swallow his terrified gasp, fingers curling tightly. He started shaking a bit, trying to get away from the other. I couldn't love you any better
You turned me into a killer
His mind sufficiently clouded by alcohol and the forced acceptance of the order actually welcomed the long-lost emotion on the younger boy's face.
Stirring up his natural sadism, sharpened by his sleazy state, the beast inside slowly opened its ruby-red eyes, baring its fangs hungrily at the smell of fear.
The anticipation of blood.
He chuckled against the other's skin, retreating back; licking the crimson liquid oozing down Ed's heaving skin. He swallowed before meeting the other's panicking and confused eyes.
And I'm sorry but you're all out of luck tonight
Baby your time is up
"Envy, what are you doing?" Ed rasped out, shaking in the homunculus' grasp.
"No more playing around, chibi-chan." He whispered in his ear, pushing his nail in the wound, widening the bite, earning a small cry of pain from Ed.
He grinned, pushing the tip of his fingers deeper in the widened wound, watching with fascination as warm blood poured out of the wound, marking a striking and beautiful contrast against his pale skin. His grin grew with every inch his finger sunk in the other's tender flesh.
"Envy, stop!" Ed gasped, face contorted. He managed to shake one hand free and he pushed against the other's chest furiously.
Not moving an inch, the homunculus chuckled. Withdrawing his hand, he suddenly drew the blonde forwards. Bloody fingers closed around his wrist again, and the alchemist cried out when his body hit the other's.
Trying to squirm out of the other's grasp, Ed's movements halted when he felt Envy's hand slip around his waist. Bony fingers tangled in his hair, nails ghosting over the thin skin at the back of his neck.
The other's expression had somehow softened down to blank. With robotic movements, he continued to run a hand through the other's hair, smearing the blonde locks with the boy's own blood.
"…Envy…?" a small voice breathed, laced with suppressed terror.
I'm sorry, Ed…
His sole response was a sole grunt.
I'm so, so, so sorry…
"It ends tonight."
"…wh-what?"
"Tonight. It ends. Your luck. Your career. Your dream…your life."
Something's got a hold of me,
Doesn't want you to breathe
Frowning, Ed pushed the other further back so he could search his face.
"What the fuck are you going on about?" he demanded. "Don't tell me you made me come out here all the way in the damn storm so you can go all Doomsday on me…"
When the other didn't reply, Ed hooked a finger under his chin, gently but persistently forcing the other to look at him.
"Envy!" he said, voice forceful and somehow demanding. "What the hell is up with you?"
Another gust of wind sent the other's hair flying wildly. Through the dark green curtain, one narrowed eye flashed before a hand suddenly shot out and closed tight around the alchemist's neck.
Ed's eyes widened, his hands letting go of the other and flying to his neck in attempt to pry the other off. He cried out when the other's fist tightened.
It's not like he hasn't tried strangling him before. Even at this stage of their relationship, the Homunculus often tried to snap the other's neck when he said something out of his short range of liking.
However, he was always careful with the pressure, only squeezing hard enough to make the other loose his breath and be left with a temporary dull ache that the blonde alchemist never failed to complain about – only to be laughed at have it massaged away by the same fingers that caused them in the first place.
But the iron fist slowly crushing his windpipe held no playfulness – no control.
Stand over you and watch you bleed.
I'll be the last thing you see
Seconds ticked past, and Edward tried his best to struggle out of the other's grasp, his lungs crying out for oxygen. His gloved fingers clawed at the pale, bony fist keeping him prisoner, without any achievement.
Desperation drove him to lash out at the other's face, tensing when he felt his auto mail break the other's skin.
He drew his hand back just as the other drew his own hand back, sparks running down his arm.
The familiar cling of metal and screech of alchemic transmutation echoed in the other's ear without any meaning. Amber eyes, foggy and desperate for oxygen, bore into the cold amethyst eyes of the other.
A flash of regret and horror.
A clink of adjusting metal, sliding over each other and clicking into place with lethal precision.
A whistle through the air.
A realization that came all too late.
Just the moment the thought flashed in his brain, Envy's transmuted hand slammed forward, burying the steel blade hilt-deep into the other's stomach.
Thunder clapped above them, just as a blood-curling scream of pain cut through the thick of the night.
Dark crimson liquid splattered down on the pavement, just as the sky above them crackled.
Shaking, Ed managed to choke out a disbelieving gasp before slumping forward, grunting sharply as he impaled himself further on the blade.
Envy blinked, his own hand shaking. He took a step forward, hastily releasing Ed's neck. The alchemist coughed feverishly, trying to suck the moist air in his slowly collapsing lungs, shuddering violently as every movement sent pain coursing through his body.
The Homunculus watched him in silence before suddenly withdrawing the blade, wrenching it out of the smaller boy's abdomen with a sickening squelch, causing more blood to gush from the wound, staining his black clothes.
Wordlessly, the smaller male dropped on his knees with a cry, auto mail arm shooting out to block the shock the best as he could, the metal screeching as the rough pavement collided with its surface.
Slowly and monotonously transmuting his hand back into flesh and bone, Envy stepped closer. He watched the other's heaving back, the intricate black symbol moving with every shaky and painful breath the other took.
The Homunculus watched him, not even stirring or noticing the droplets that began to fall from the sky in turmoil.
Go ahead I dare you to scream
No one can hear but me
Blood ran down his chin and small teeth gnawed on the flesh, desperate not to let any sign of the excruciating pain coursing through his body show. His face sickly pale, he wrenched with nausea, hand desperately gripping his wounded stomach.
Another wave of pain washed over him. He bit down harder, eyes tightly shut.
A wry, dry chuckle came from above him. A foot pushed on his sides, making him loose his balance and crash on his side unceremoniously.
"Why are you holding it back, chibi-chan?" he murmured, tone slightly malicious as he crouched down next to him. A hand stroked the other's quivering back, fingers teasing the ripped fabric, just to the left of his spine, where the blade pierced through his back. His fingers came away coated with the blonde's blood.
A suppressed whimper escaped the hunched figure, Ed nearly biting all the way through his lip. Warm liquid seeping down his chin, the excruciating pain pulsing through his veins like some poisonous gas, determined to tear him apart piece by piece, molecule by molecule.
Envy moved his hand down to cup the other's cheek, almost teasingly, thumb brushing against his quivering, bruised lips.
"Go on. Scream." He said, half-commanding, half whispering. "Swallow your pride, chibi-chan, and just scream…no-one will hear you. No one, but me."
Pleading won't get you anywhere,
When I decided not to care
The other shook his head, swallowing a mouthful of blood and despair before shakily daring to take another breath, flinching when he dislodged his teeth from his bloodied, torn lips.
"E…." he panted, his words lost in the thunder before he tried again.
"Envy…why?" he murmured, looking up at the other, his widened eyes a turmoiled sea of confusion, betrayal and pain.
The other blinked, brushing his thumb over the blonde's cheeks, smearing the blood from his lips over his face. Raindrops fell continuously from his long, dark fringe, now plastered over his back by the rain.
The green-haired male didn't reply, his face blank.
"Why?" Ed asked again, voice shaking with suppressed emotion. "Why did you-?"
"Hush." The other's hard voice cut his sentence halfway through, nail digging in his cheek, making him whimper involuntarily.
Don't waste another breath on me
Your gonna need every one
The blonde opened his mouth again, making the other smile inwardly.
Always disobeying orders, always going against the rules. He couldn't even listen when it would spare him pain.
Then again…if the blonde was different…
They wouldn't be in this situation right now.
This incredibly fucked situation…where things were now forever beyond repair.
Before the blonde could force his quivering voice to form out the dreaded one-worded question, Envy pressed his thumb back over the other's lips.
"Save your breath, chibi-chan." he growled softly, surprised at the roughness of his own voice.
"B…b…" the smaller alchemist protested, blood slipping down his chin with every syllable.
Envy's spare hand reached down to grab the torn and bloodied fabric on the alchemist's lower back, lifting him to the side slightly. The small movements caused the blonde to yelp out in pain, screwing his eyes shut tightly, fists clenched.
Don't waste your time with this
Your dying moment's almost done
Tearing the bloody crimson coat further, Envy inspected the damage, trying to ignore the slight nausea stirring at his stomach
What was not covered by the flimsy fabric was drenched in the alchemist's blood. Torn tissue clung to the exposed flesh, the ivory surface of the other's rib glinting in the low light, tainted with crimson.
As Lust would have so sophisticatedly stated:
It wasn't a pretty sight.
Lip curling up at his inner morbid and blunt humour, Envy's inspecting hand stopped short when he heard the strangled groan of agony from the boy.
The beast raging inside him told him to end it. To snap the little runt's neck with one swift kick and leave him, lying on the pavement, in a pool of his own dirty blood.
One glance up the moon, distorted by the curtain of rain, told him it was close to midnight. He really didn't have much tome to waste.
And the order has been clear – kill the Fullmetal Alchemist, and report back.
Fail the mission and I will tear you apart piece by piece, sew you together and kill him myself.
The narrowed eyes studied the other's heaving side once more. His hand rose and rested on his throat, causing Ed to stiffen once more, eyes widening in fear and disbelief.
However, the hand didn't tighten around the other's bruised windpipe. The cold fingers simply caressed the irritated skin.
The blonde flinched from the green-haired male's touch, unable to stop his terror from seeping through his tough pretence, weakened considerably by the shock and the wound. He hissed again, feeling life drain out of him with every drop of blood seeping onto the cold pavement.
There is no time for last words
Your life should be flashing right about now
Snarling at his inner monster to silence him and the command to crush the delicate bones under his fingers, Envy continued to caress the other's neck. He shook his head, mouth twitching when he felt the other's pulse race under his touch.
Seeing the blonde swallow and grit his teeth, a frown crossed his features again.
"I said, hush." he snapped before the blonde could speak. "Don't talk, you're just going to cause yourself more pain…and we both know how your pain endurance is pathetically low, chibi-chan…"
Embarrassment flashed through the alchemist's face before it contorted in pain. Nevertheless, he gave the other a glare and croaked out his question again.
With a slightly irritated sigh, Envy pressed his fingers against the other's lips, forcefully pushing his jaw together.
"Sorry, Edo-kun. You don't get to make any famous last speech." He sneered, voice once again mocking. "When they write about you in the book of famous alchemists, the only words you'll have there will be the adjectives describing your pathetic, inhumane screams…"
A scowl passed through Ed's features, his grip tightening around his torso. Narrowed amber eyes, struggling to blink the cloudiness that descended over his eyes.
He blinked again, and the image cleared to – he frowned again.
The images weren't of the street, drenched in rain, and the crouching male faded into fuzzy images of a small town, bathed in sunlight.
The river running through the cobbled stone bridge sparkled in the brilliant white light, long blades of grass swaying in the wind.
A small group ran across the little field, a girl and two boys, chasing each other, their voices loud and carefree.
The girl with cornflower eyes and blonde locks ran forward to tackle the shortest boy with the loudest mouth, knocking them both on the ground. The remaining boy shrieked with delight and jumped on the top of the pile.
"WINRYGETOFFME!"
"Edwaaaaaaaaaaard, you're such a klutz!" she giggled, pulling on his ponytail to punctuate her point. This resulted in him thrashing about.
"Get OFF!"
"Nooo, shortie!"
A tiny hand shot out to grab a handful of soft yellow locks and yank them down. "WHO ARE YOU CALLING SHORTIE, YOU BLONDE UGLY LITTLE CREEP?!"
"Nii-san, you're blonde too…"
"SHUT UP, AL!"
"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME, EDWARD?!"
"OWOWOWOWW!!!"
"Winry, you can't kill people! What are we going to tell Granny?"
"I'll be sure to hide the body very very well!"
The other boy sighed and attempted to half-heartedly tug the screeching female, whose already doubtable feminity was being taunted by the pinned boy.
Ed frowned as the picture faded and another flashed in its place – of an abandoned lab, full of dusty books.
Perched on the top of a ladder, a small boy intently searched for a long-forgotten answer among the yellow pages. He suddenly turned his head and slipped off to the ground when another boy burst in the picture, hands closed around a large scroll…
…purple lights, screaming, fear…an experiment, a lifetime's achievement suddenly gone wrong…
…flames engulfing a house, memories, of love, loss and death, crackling before disappearing into swirling smoke…
…the whistle of the train as it sped into the horizon, leaving the gleaming bolts of the Central station behind, a man waving with a smile after them…
…a dusty old lab, illuminated by faint, flickering purple lights…monstrosities holding his brother hostage…
…a wrench hurtling towards his head, with a chuckling voce welcoming him home…
Memories.
Flashing ferociously, as if his entire life's events were trying to compress into an insane slideshow, trying to trigger his memory desperately.
From the very beginning, to seconds before he hit the ground.
…from the beginning to the very end.
I couldn't love you any better
You turned me into a killer
And I'm sorry but you're all out of luck tonight
Baby your time is up
The other just watched him in silence. If he had any questions or doubts, it only flickered in his eyes for a second before the drunken melancholy and expressionless-ness took over again. His amethyst eyes surveyed the panting teen, his pain seemingly washing over him without effect.
It's all your fault.
"Surprised much, chibi-chan?" he suddenly said, drawing his knee up, earning a painful grunt and heave from the blonde alchemist. "You think that this God-damned luck of yours will last forever?"
Ed only gave him a weak, questioning glare. "W-"
"Hush." He snapped again, his free hand tightening around the other's irritated throat, causing him to splutter and cry out in pain. "I told you already, shut up."
It's all your damn fault.
Something's got a hold of me,
Doesn't want you to breathe
Stand over you and watch you bleed.
I'll be the last thing you see
Envy's plans on drinking himself out of his sanity and right mind had worked better then he ever expected. There was no logics, no reasoning, just pure instinct to follow instructions – and to kill.
Cause pain.
Purple irises slid over the alchemist's battered body, the fragile bones beneath the bruised skin of his neck almost begging to be crushed, his ears straining to hear the pitiful gasps when his hands effortlessly crushed his windpipe, inch by inch, and squeezed the last breaths of air from his lungs.
To drop the other like a worthless piece of meat when life was merely hanging onto his barely breathing mess of flesh and crushed bone and laugh as he sent him to beyond the Gate without any answers he so desperately craved.
Oh, the monster inside Envy roared its approval at the mere suggestions that arose in his sleep-deprived and unclear mind, his imagination not restrained in any sick or immoral way.
Go ahead I dare you to scream
No one can hear but me
Pleading won't get you anywhere,
When I decided not to care
He stood up abruptly, his heels making contact with the other's back, grinning at the sharp intake of breath and feverish coughing that followed the small pressure.
"I told you." He said almost smugly and challengingly, nudging his torn back with his bare toes. "Scream, you stuck-up son of a bitch. Swallow your damn pride and give me some damn satisfaction…then, I'll let you breathe out your worthless soul in peace."
He felt the other's body stiffen for a second before lightly beginning to shake once more. With a slight grim satisfaction, he lifted his foot and slammed it back on the blonde's back, eyes slipping shut at the short scream, hoarse with what sounded like a muffled sob.
"Took you long enough." He murmured, endearingly ruffling the other's hair, crouching down once more. His finger snuck beneath the other's blood-covered chin, tilting the other's head so his slitted amethyst eyes could look in the other's clouded amber ones.
"You're such a mess, chibi-chan."
He coughed, shifting as he felt his exposed organs pulsing madly, shuddering at the new rush of pain.
"…w…why?" he managed to murmur, blinking, eyes filling with moisture before he furiously forced them back. "Why? "
Like Romeo and Juliet,
We're dying in the end
The other male slowly absorbed his question in silence, letting his sigh be lost among the furious hissing and pattering of the silvery sheet of rain that was splattering down on their crouching figures with more and more ferocity.
He would have laughed at the cliché-ness of the situation in another time, another place.
In a way, it was oh-so-damn typical. Almost sickeningly predictable.
Two prodigies. From two very, oh so very different backgrounds.
When they met, the circumstances were dire, difficult, and bitter rivalry and hatred immediately sprung from the tender ashes of their encounter.
However, the memorable meeting has sown a helpless little seed. They each remained on each other's mind, whether clouded or surrounded by fear, the impression was certainly made.
And through the odds it faced, by the fiery rejection by pride, ambition and the stark differences in their backgrounds – not to mention genders, it somehow managed to sprout a timid but firm root.
Like in some soppy romance novel Lust would pick up for sheer entertainment, and then lend to Sloth, who would sniff emotively at the obstacles the two lovers went through just to be with each other.
Envy's firm opinion was always that this sort of publishing was a mere waste of trees, something entirely done to fill the brains of the already educationally brain dead humans.
Life isn't damn Shakespeare you know! he'd scoff at his two sisters who would giggle and whisper among themselves.
But…not for the first time…he was once again forced to admit Lust was right.
This was just like a damn fucking prose, a tragedy play written to make pathetic weak humans cry.
But just like those two famous lovers in amongst the masses of famous intricate tales, all recorded in their calligraphic writing and extravagant descriptions, they two were unexplainably drawn to each other like opposite poles of the magnet.
Together, they broke all rules considered sacred and right, and were awarded with the things they both unconsciously longed for.
…how cliché.
How damn according to plan… Envy through bitterly as he looked down at the shaking boy's body.
We never loved each other,
At least I never did
"W-w-would you j-just damn an-nswer my question?!" Edward managed to cough out, shaking and bloodied hand suddenly darting forward to wrap around Envy's ankle, causing the other to stop in his movements suddenly.
Upon the lack of sufficient answer – any sort of answer for that matter, the blonde's weak grip tightened. "A-answer m-m-me!" he croaked, chest heaving. "Wh-why?"
Envy stayed silent for another minute, his shoulders slightly tensing before he turned around, tilting his face so the other could jut make out his narrowed eye, gleaming and almost piercing the other with its coldness.
"Why what, chibi-chan?" he asked in a hollow, annoyed voice.
The other rolled his eyes with the annoyance he could muster, motioning to his engorged organs, wincing as agony shot through him with the small movements.
The other's mouth pulled into a smirk before morphing into his full-blown psychotic grin, pupil narrowing into a thin slit as his gaze pulsed and locked with the other's.
"Why?" he echoed, voice honeyed and laced with foreboding venom. "Now, that's one funny and rather naïve question you should ask, chibi-chan."
Ed's anger melted into confusion, first sparks of disbelief starting to appear. "Wh-"
"I called you out here because I had an order and a personal vendetta to settle." He said with a simple shrug of shoulders. "And your guts are currently spilling out on the pavement because both of those included it, chibi-chan."
Ed gave a soft, strangled sort of mix between a snort and a groan, causing Envy to start tugging his foot away, only to find the little shrimp clung on insistently.
"What more do you want to hear, chibi?!" he asked, voice rising an octave higher. His inner hysteria was getting hard to contain, coherent thoughts getting muddled. He massaged his forehead with a soft growl.
He needed to get out of here. He needed more alcohol. He needed to just kick the other away, get the fuck out this blood and rained-soaked street, walk in the first bar and drink until he couldn't see straight. Beat some bitches on the way home and sleep until a week passed…
Yes…yes…that's what he needed to do…
Then why the fuck was it so difficult to say what he knew he needed to say for the alchemist to let go?
"We both knew this was going to happen sooner or later. Don't tell me you didn't know that."
Ed was still gaping, his eyes now narrowing, glistening among his bloodied face. "…but…I thought…you…me…"
"You thought what?" he barked, whirling around, hands clenched. "You thought what?!"
He flinched back from the other's fury, biting his bruised lips. "…I thought you…" he coughed quietly before Envy's harsh laughter interrupted him.
"…you thought I loved you?" he snorted, throwing his hair back, voice and pose reeking of contempt at the mere idea.
Upon the other's silence and extremely tentative nod, one you could mistake for a twitch of a muscle, the Homunculus shivered in disgust and spat at the other's face, the psychotic aura looming around him again.
If you did
You had a sick way of showing it
"Listen to me, you little motherfucking son of a bitch." He hissed with venom, grabbing the other by his ponytail and yanking him up, ignoring his choked cries of agony and sickening squelches of torn flesh. "Listen up well, because I am only going to say this once." When the other's tortured face was right next to his, the sin moved closer so he could whisper in the blonde's ear, feeling mildly satisfied when he felt the other squirm as his breath ghosted over his neck.
"I never loved you, Edward Elric." He whispered, voice icy and malicious. "Never. I've wanted to kill you the moment I set eyes on your pathetic ass in the Fifth Laboratory. I wanted to make you suffer and cry like the child you are. And you know what?" he chuckled, tightening in the other's bloodied hair, enjoying every hitch of breath and strangled noise of pain coming from the smaller boy.
"You're such a disappointment."
Star crossed lovers
And the blackest of skies
Had a dream about the two of us,
One of us died
Another thunderbolt crackled above them, their profiles lit for a split second by a brilliant white bolt of electricity. But it was enough to illuminate the look of horror on the alchemist's bruised face, searching the other's crazed and smug expression desperately, only to drown in his apparent insane hatred.
The fingers around the Homunculus slacked slowly, falling to the ground as cold dread and realization hit him like an express train shooting out of the tunnel. He swore he could feel the impact physically, making his stomach churn.
He should have known.
…this was the reason you obeyed the rules.
This was why you didn't challenge the laws of nature.
This is why you gave foreboding nightmares, laced with murder and death about you and your lover, and not shrug it off as strange but hellish coincidence and paranoid imagination.
…this is why he just knew it was too good to be true…
The alchemist's body shook with renewed tremors, his glazed eyes glittering anew with fresh pain.
Only this was so much worse then the numb and consistent physical agony.
I'm sorry you had to die like this tonight
It must have been the night when God's mercy really and truly ran out for the young, ambitious male.
Because unlike their previous encounters with the bony hand of the Grim reaper, brandishing the lethal sword of destiny inches away from them, there was no saviour.
No loophole.
No skill or technique to numb the blow.
There really was no second chance that night.
I couldn't love you any better
(I couldn't love you any better)
You turned me into a killer
(You turned me into a killer)
And I'm sorry but you're all out of luck tonight
(You've run outta luck tonight)
Baby your time is up
Through his dizzy and clouded mind, the only coherent thought seemed to be the single word of denial, inner voice repeating it desperately like some sacred mantra.
Lies.
Lies.
Lies.
"No…" he chocked out, bloodied fingers making a grab for the other's foot again. He doubled up in a coughing fit again, wrenching with nausea, nails digging in the other's naked ankle. "No!"
Envy flinched at the sudden pain, trying to shake him off. The other, however, clung on with every scrap of his panicked determination to get a different answer out of him – to get him to admit the opposite of the vengeful confession he made seconds ago.
"Chibi. Let go."
A stubborn shake and scraping of nails.
"Let. Go."
"N-"
"I SAID GET OFF!" he screamed, violently kicking the other away, shrivelling away as if the other was some contagious disease. "DON'T TOUCH ME, YOU FUCKING FILTHY EXCUSE OF A HUMAN!"
At the other's painful glance, his shivering got even worse. Fists bunched up, he kicked the other again.
"You're nothing but a waste of the already polluted air on this God-damned planet and I can't tell you how happy I am to know you'll be dead before I reach home." He spat viciously.
"….b-"
"No fucking buts! I hate you, you hear me, Edward Elric?! The worst mission I could ever get stuck with, the worst person I had to waste my time with and the most annoying son of a bitch I have encountered in my four hundred years of living and I hope the maggots eat and retch up your disgusting, disfigured body after you've breathed out your soul!"
And with that, the green-haired male turned the other way and sprinted down the street, unaware of the other's cry behind him, not the vicious sting of the raindrops on his bare skin.
He couldn't hear, couldn't see, heart hammering in his ears.
He almost didn't notice he wasn't breathing until he felt his lungs burn – as if wanting to rival the sting in his eyes.
Something's got a hold of me,
Doesn't want you to breathe
Stand over you and watch you bleed.
I'll be the last thing you see
Go ahead I dare you to scream
No one can hear but me
Pleading won't get you anywhere,
When I decided not to care
His chest ached from the lack of oxygen, the sudden adrenalin rush burning his tongue; narrowed eyes fixed ahead, stubbornly ignoring the pang in his stomach.
It must be the disappointment for not seeing the other draw his last breath…the disappointment of not hearing the other beg him for mercy…the disappointment that I couldn't just rip his heart out myself.
Visions of blood, slowly seeping over the pavement, bubbling and rippling as the rain diluted it made him shiver as he glanced down at his own fingers.
He forced himself to look forwards again.
Don't look back, Envy. Mission's completed. Don't look back...nothing to look back at....
He closed his eyes; the blonde's scream still ringing in his ears as he disappeared into the shadows.
TBC…
Opinions are greatly, greatly appreciated.
Past readers and reviewers will forever have my gratitude. C: