Merry Christmas?, a jag fanfic

Title: Merry Christmas?

Author: Tartan Lioness

Classification: Romance

Pairing: AJ/Mac!

Summary: Mac alone in the HQs on Christmas. She's singing. But what is it she's singing?

Warning: If you have anything against age-difference in love, don't read this, consider yourself warned.

Disclaimer: All I own is the plot. I have no money so please don't sue me!

A/N: I realized that there is way to little AJ/Sarah on so I wrote this. It's my first JAG fic. The song belongs to Janna, I'm just borrowing it. Please don't flame me, if you don't like my pairing, don't read this. It's really quite simple.

Christmas Day

2100 Hours

JAG HQ

Falls Church, Va

Mac sat in her office, listening to christmas charols while she got some paperwork done. Her blinds were closed and she was the last one there. Everybody had left early, including herself. But she had come back. She had no desire to spend another christmas alone at home. Sure, Bud and Harriett had asked her to spend the holidays with her but she had not wanted to barge in on their evening. It was a night to be with your family. And they had little AJ to take care of.

Harm had asked her to spend the day with him too. 'Hell no! I don't want to spend the day with Harm. I'll go see his father tonight just like any other year but I have no desire to spend this particular evening with him.'

There was only one person she wanted to be with tonight. A man she knew she couldn't have. He was her Commanding Officer, AJ Chegwidden. 'Oh stop it, MacKenzie! Don't go there! He's your goddamn CO! You did it once, don't do it twice! You'll only ruin him and his career. And why would he love you anyway? He can have any woman in DC.'

Suddenly she looked up from her papers. She smiled smugly as the first few tunes to 'We Wish You A Merry Christmas' sounded from her radio. Ever since she was a girl she had changed the words in songs to make them match her. That was her wy of creating another world where she could escape her father. As she got older she got better at rhyming and now she could almost change the words as she heard the song. Knowing she was alone in the building she started singing, slowly and quietly to the tune of the song.

"I wish I could marry AJ,

I wish I could marry AJ,

I'd be happy all year.

Good tidings to JAG

And all Navy men,

Good tidings to AJ,

Again and again.

I wish I could marry AJ,

I'd be happy all year."

But what she didn't know was that she was not completely alone anymore. Her Commanding Officer, Rear Admiral Upper Half AJ Chegwidden stood outside her office. He had seen the light through her blinds and was about to open the door and ask her what the hell she was doing still here. Then he had heard her singing. He recognized the tune emmidiately but he was astonished by her words. He had fallen in love with the vibrant beauty, who was working for him and yet he knew that she would never love him back. When she accepted Mic Brumby's proposal he had thought it a lost course. It felt like she had stuck a knife in his guts and he could only watch her do it. And when she had asked him to give her away it felt like she twisted the knife in his gut over and over again. And yet he had accepted, saying that he would be honored.

One memory of her would he keep in his mind forever. Their almost kiss in his bedroom so many years ago. He knew that she hadn't meant to come that close to him and he knew that he shouldn't have let her come that close. But she looked so lost, so scared. 'Well, of course! She was being stalked and her stalker had just killed her boyfriend! Of course she was scared! But she only wanted that aspirine. Why did I have to lower my head? I almost kissed her! She's a junior officer! But by God, I love her so much. Does this mean that she loves me too? She wants to marry me? Maybe she loves me. Maybe it isn't Rabb she loves. But can I take the chance? Am I ready to retire? Is she ready to transfer? No, I can't transfer her. She's too good a lawyer. But I need to talk to her before I do anything.'

He was pulled out of his thoughts and memories when her door suddenly opened and she walked straight into him.

"Sir!" she exclaimed, surprised to see him there. "Did you forget anything, Admiral?"

"Sarah…" His eyes softened. Mac swallowed the lump that was building in her throat. Had he heard her? She prayed he hadn't. And yet… the way he had called her 'Sarah' instead of 'Mac' or 'Colonel', like he actually loved her. 'Stop the wishful thinking, MacKenzie! He was merely surprised. But what about the near kiss? It didn't mean anything. Yes it did! No, it didn't. Yes! No! Yes! No!'

Mac shook her head, "Stop it, both of you!" She didn't realize she had spoken out lous before AJ cluckled.

"Talking to yourself, Mac? That's the first sign of insanity."

"Sir, did you want something? You were standing right outside my office and I assume you wanted to talk to me?"

"Actually, Mac, I wanted to know why you're still here." She looked at her fgeet and bit her lip. How to explain this to him in a way he wouldn't pity her for. "And by the way, Mac, if I were you I'd be a little more careful when I'm singing. Especially when you're singing about marrying your CO."

Mac stared at him, obviously a bit frightened. "I'm sorry, Sir. It won't happen again."

"What won't happen again, Mac? You singing or you becoming involved with a CO again?"

"Both, Sir. I'm really sorry, Admiral. I never meant for you to find out abou…" AJ silenced her by laying his hand gently over he mouth.

"I know you never meant for me to find out, Sarah, but what if I wanted to know?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, Sarah, that if you'll allow me I'll make you the happiest woman on the earth." She stared at him, hope obvious in her eyes. "I love you, Sarah. Do you love me?"

Mac's eyes filled with tears. "Yes, Sir. I love you." AJ shook his head at her.

"Sarah honestly, don't you thinkit's more apropriate you call me AJ?" She smiled at him.

"AJ," she said, caressing each letter. How she had longed to say that name to his face, to have him aprove of it. And now he told her he loved her.

"What about your career, AJ? Or mine?" Suddenly he knew the answer to his earlier question. Was he ready to retire? Yes, for this woman he was.

"I don't care, Sarah. I can retire, or I can ask for a transfer. You need to stay here. Someone has to keep Rabb on his toes."

"You can't retire, AJ. The Navy needs you. You're going to be the next CNO, I know you are."

"We'll see about that, Darlin'. But right now we need to keep our relationship strictly professional. Are you willing to wait?"

"I've waited this long. I can wait for longer. Now that I know that you love me."

THE END!