She had been signed by DJ Khaled's label, she was going to be having a bright and very successful future ahead of her. She just performed one of the biggest and most important performances of her life and yet she felt sick to her stomach the minute her eyes had to witness Chloe kiss Chicago Walp.

She felt like this was coming, throughout their whole time in being here. Beca could just feel that Chloe was getting close to him, no matter how close they had been over the years. No matter how much Beca felt like there was a chance for her to build up the courage and finally take that step forward in admitting her feelings, something got in the way. And for it to be this, truly crushed her. She had no one but to blame but herself when she really thought about it, she and Jesse had been over pretty much straight after college.

It wasn't really the distance, that's what she told everybody. Sure the 3000 mile distance was a struggle and it didn't help, but that wasn't the main reason. They broke up because Jesse had always felt like there was something between Beca and Chloe, especially in the final year he felt that something, then when he heard that they were living together. The something he felt grew into something more and when Beca didn't try to convince him otherwise because then she would be lying to herself and to Jesse, they decided to break up. Thankfully there was no bad blood and if anything he was rooting for her.

So it seemed she broke up with her boyfriend all for nothing because she was a fucking coward in letting a girl know that she loved her. Beca then asked herself why the fuck she was still stood in front of them watching when she was literally feeling insanely nauseous, watching him dip her like it was some fifties movie. So cheesy and cringe but also something she was envious of. Because it was Chloe he was doing it with.

Usually what made her nauseous was when Theo came towards her, but this time she was actually thankful for him doing that cause he was her excuse to get out of this situation by going off to talk some business.

Theo glanced back to Chloe and Chicago as they walked over to the air hanger where the after party was being held, keeping in theme with the whole USO and everything, he looked back to Beca "Beca. You okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be? I just signed to a major record deal"

"It's just you seem a little off "

Beca smirked and huffed a laugh as she wittingly replied "Cause you know me so well within this short period of time"

Theo then shrugged "Just trying to be a friend"

Beca looked to him and shrugged, trying not to sound too harsh but it came across as that all the same "I've already got my friends. They just sang up on that stage with me" she looked over and saw them all stood together with their drinks in their hands and nodded to them "And I've got them right there so excuse me"

She didn't give him time to try and charm her because he couldn't charm his way out of a paper bag with her, she just walked straight ahead and just thought of one thing. Alcohol, alcohol fixes all wounds, for a temporary amount of time that is but temporary was something she would take right now.

Beca walked over to the beer keg and got herself a drink before walking over to the group, raising her cup and saying in a breathless voice "We rocked it guys"

They all noticed how she drank down her beer pretty quickly which was a rarity unless something was bugging her, but what could be possibly bugging her right now? She just did one of the best performances in her bella career if it can be called that. Emily bumped her elbow against hers "Hey you okay?"

"Jesus I'm great" Beca effused, whether it was convincing or not was a different question. Aubrey then looked around "Where's Chloe? You guys went off stage together?"

Beca nodded as she looked down to her empty cup "Yeah we did but she's occupied right now"

Cynthia then raised a brow "With what?"

Beca let out a sharp breath and quickly muttered out, still avoiding eye contact "Making out with Chicago-I'm going to grab another beer" without even looking at the group, she made her way back over to the keg.

The girls all looked to each other. They all knew that feelings were there. They certainly knew on Chloe's part, Chloe told Aubrey first about her feelings for Beca more in a breakdown after she had to watch her and Jesse get together, now it all seemed rather ironic. As the years went on the rest of the girls knew, whenever Beca wasn't there Chloe would tell them how much it was killing her. She couldn't do anything about it because she was with Jesse and she wasn't that type of person to go and try to screw up her friends happiness on the odd chance that Beca felt the same. Which she always hoped for but never believed.

Beca on the other hand never told anyone about her feelings, no one apart from Jesse during their break up. But everyone knew there was something there. Just friends don't act the way they have been acting with each since the day they met. Beca on the other hand did feel that Chloe felt the same, but it was taking that risk of losing her altogether that scared her so much that she never tried to go forward with anything. Now it really came to bite her back on the ass, tip toeing around feelings clearly never worked.

She stood by the table of booze and cups for a moment, trying to just regain her composure, she then saw Emily come behind her in the corner of her eye. She cleared her throat "So. Chloe and Chicago"

Beca nodded, running her tongue across her top set of teeth "Yep, bit of a hollywood cliche but hey she's clearly happy"

Emily rolled her eyes without Beca noticing and grabbed for a drink, Beca held her finger up and looked to her as she pointed "You're not twenty one until November"

"You remember my birthday?"

Beca nodded and stated boldly "I love you, kid. Course I do"

Emily smiled and then raised her brows "Are you seriously not going to let me have a beer?"

Beca then suddenly realised what she was doing and quickly dropped her hand as she looked away from her "Go nuts"

Emily looked to her as she reached for her drink and sighed "Look. Beca if you need to talk"

Beca's head snapped to her, not knowing what to say at first, as she was pulling on the keg she shook her head "What? What I'm-"

"Beca" Emily pulled her cup back quickly before it overflowed. Beca looked down and sighed, taking her hand off the lever and sighing as she sucked the beer from her finger and then took the cup back from Emily. Emily shook her head "That's what I mean"

"I'm just a little dazed, y'know. It's been a long, crazy night" Beca then looked over as she heard some of the soldiers hollar, then seeing that their esteemed leader had returned. And Chloe was holding his fucking hand. That time when she was hanging in the air at the retreat and thinking she was gonna die (dramatic but still), she actually thought she was going to die from this, this was actually going to give her a stroke and kill her.

This beer sure as hell went down quicker than the last one, Emily looked to her and frowned "Beca slow down, I know you're hurting"

"Hurting? What're you talking about hurting ?"

Emily just gave her a look. A look that was a nonverbal way of saying come on, quit playing dumb. Beca just bit her lip and looked over to Chloe, seeing her make her way over to the Bellas. Looking happy. And she hated herself for being disappointed that she seemed happy, she daren't to go over yet because she knew the girls would be grilling her with questions about it all.

Beca shrugged and put her hand in the young girl's again "Leave it alone"

Emily nodded, letting it be for now "Okay. You're right" she turned as she went to walk back over to the group but quickly said before doing so "For the record, she's known and been attracted to him for a few weeks...she's been attracted and in love with you for the past six years"

Beca didn't respond, she just bit down on her lip and kept her eyes shut for a moment or two. As far as Beca knew no-one could know that for sure, it was just what everyone presumed about Chloe. Shaking her head and trying to shrug it off for now as she reached for the keg again and poured herself another beer. As she turned to actually make her way back to the group, Chloe came running over. Squealing as she put her arm around Beca's neck "Tonight has been amazing hasn't it?"

Beca nodded, looking down to her cup and trying to be as neutral about it as possible "Yeah it has been...hey I saw you and Chicago having a little moment" she faked a smile "Something going on there I take it?"

Chloe looked to her, looking at the girl she had dreamt of being with since they met at that Barden stall. But she couldn't wait for Beca Mitchell forever, and she did like Chicago, maybe he was her chance to move on. Chloe grinned and shrugged "Who knows. I mean when you saw the moment you meant the kiss right?"

Kill me dead Beca muttered in her mind before nodding "That's the one"

"Yeah well, it was pretty convincing to pursue in something. And he is insanely cute, in both the looks and personality department"

I hope my beer has poison in it

Beca took in a breath and grinned to her as she lifted her cup "Well hell yeah, i'll drink to that"

A part of Chloe broke, she was told herself that was that. If Beca really had feelings for her then she would have said something right now, she told herself that if she really had feelings for her she would have so much fear in missing her chance with her that she would just grab her right now and tell her that he isn't the guy for her, it was her she was meant to be with. But instead Beca raised her cup.

Cause she was dumb as hell in the sharing of feelings part of her like, especially when it was something as big as love. If there was ever a sign to move on, Chloe saw it as this. Chicago wasn't afraid in sharing his feelings for her, and having someone be so open and honest with her about feelings was something she hasn't had in years, it was refreshing and sweet. So why not take the chance she might have with him.

Chloe filled up a cup and raised her cup against hers before they took a sip, this time Beca didn't drink it down fast because she had to look like she was actually okay. Chloe looked across the way to Theo who was stood with Khaled and raised a brow to Beca "Speaking of something going on. You and-"

"Turtle man" Beca raised a brow as she took a sip of hear beer, listening to heavenly sound that was Chloe's laughter and then just shook her head "Chloe I didn't give him that nickname out of some kind of endearment. You've seen him, I think he means well but the guy's a moron"

Chloe laughed as she looked to him, seeing how he was looking over and she nodded, taking her eyes back to Beca "And that eye contact thing isn't going away anytime soon"

"I'm not going to be able to deal with that all too well in working with him"

Chloe then looked at her in a more mushy way, Beca seeing it tried to hide the fact that her heart fluttered and pulled it off pretty well "What is it Chlo? You're making that puppy face again"

"I'm just so proud of you" Chloe put her arm around Beca's neck once again and pulled her close, pressing her lips against Beca's temple.

Don't pull away quick, don't pull away quick

Beca closed her eyes for a moment as she made the action. Suddenly almost feeling like crying, the times she's done this before she never got emotional. But now, knowing that she may have lost her for good, it made her want to physically collapse to the floor. A feeling she has never had over someone before.

Chloe pulled away after a long moment, she too wanted it to last a little. Almost like a goodbye to the chances too. She rubbed Beca's arm as she pulled away "My best friend is going to be a big time star"

"Should've been you but we won't get into that again"

"Hey if you ever want some backing vocals i'm your girl"

I wish you were

Beca cleared her throat and gave her a tight smile "Trust me, Chlo. It's already noted" she looked over to the bellas and nodded her head over to them "We better go make this night count huh, last party with the bellas. At least for a good while anyway"

"Yeah" Chloe said in a light sigh as they walked over to the group "We all go back to our lives soon enough"

Beca nodded. They are all going to go back to New York and with Amy being a multi millionaire she was certainly going to move out, and with Beca being part of this record label she was going to able to get an actual apartment not the broom closet she was staying in now and the same for Chloe in being a vet. They were all going to move out, of course it had to happen eventually, Beca and Chloe came to the agreement of getting that apartment together to survive in the city whilst trying to get their jobs underway and Amy then tagged along.

It might not happen right away but now it was going to happen. Both of them dreaded it and dreamt they would always end up living together in a less platonic way but now that vision was slipping.

And Beca hated every waking minute of that reality.

She tried not to think about it for the rest of the night, she focused on having a good time and thankfully they didn't do that annoying thing in acting like they were this completely in love couple after that one kiss.

She did unfortunately see a few more kisses between them as the night went on but it was nothing that she couldn't escape from in the crowd of people. Beca woke up the next morning to a knock on the door, opening it up and seeing Chloe stood there with two coffees in her hand.

Beca groaned as she rubbed her tired face and walked back over to her bed "Why do you look so alive?" she dropped her face back down into her pillow.

"You were drinking a lot more than you usually do last night" Chloe stated in a perky tone as she shut the door behind her with the heel of her shoe and took the coffees over to the bedside table.

Beca shrugged and spoke in a muffled voice with her face still pressed up against the pillow "Yeah well. It was a big night"

Chloe nodded and held out a cup in front of her "Do you want it or not?"

Beca took in a breath before dragging her body up from the mattress and took the coffee, she sat up and rested her back against the headboard, knees up to her chest as she took gentle care of the sweet coffee in her hands that hopefully would make her head feel a bit more settled, she looked to Chloe and muttered as she took the beverage to her lips "Thanks"

Chloe gave her a tight smile as a moment of silence fell with them both taking a drink, Beca then shook her head to get the hair out of her eyes as she asked as casually as possible "So. You enjoyed last night?"

"You kidding? It was amazing, all of it. No faults"

Beca nodded as she tapped her finger against the cup, then shrugging "Did you and Chicago hookup or anything?" she didn't look at her right away, only when she heard her exhale and saw her shake her head "No"

Good sign

Beca cleared her throat "So it was kinda just a little summer romance make out? Very high-school, Chloe"

Chloe rolled her eyes and swatted Beca's foot "Shut up. I'm not rushing into anything"

Beca choked on her coffee for a moment in a laugh "What do you mean not rushing into anything we leave for New York in a few hours"

Chloe just bit her lip before taking a suggestive sip of her coffee. Beca stared at her as her mind began to piece together what exactly was being suggested "Oh for the love of god. You're going to start dating?"

"Why do you say it like that?"

This had nothing to do with her feelings, Beca genuinely thought this was a pretty dumb idea, she raised her brows "Uh. Chlo, talk about throwing yourself in the deep end, dating a guy in the army...it's not like you even met him outside his work...looking after the bellas were practically his mission of the past few weeks"

"Look" Chloe put her coffee on the side and shuffled back onto the bed, taking her eyes back to Beca "I know it's not exactly the most conventional way to start dating someone in this situation"

"Uh huh"

"But I like him" Chloe said gently.

Cue the stroke

Beca took in a breath and nodded "Yeah. I can see that, and I can see that he likes you. It's just not going to be easy for you, you don't really know him enough to deal with it"

"But I do like him enough"

I get it, you fucking like him. Why don't you just have sex with him in front of me-actually no, oh god I just gave myself that mental picture I hate my dumb miserable life

Beca gave her a supportive smile which was all she really could do and put her hand on Chloe's arm "Then I'm happy for you"

Chloe gripped onto her hand "Thanks, Beca. You like him right?"

If wanting to punch him in the face a bunch of times to try and make him ugly means I like him then I fucking adore him

Beca shrugged "I mean he and I haven't exactly talked to each other and stuff on a personal level like you guys have but yeah, he's a good guy"

"Yeah he is"

Usually Beca could talk to Chloe for hours and has done that many times in the past but right now she just wanted this particular conversation to be over as soon as humanly possible before she explodes out of pure jealousy and self hatred for once again being a dumbass.

She looked to her phone and quickly began to segway "I better start getting my ass up and get dressed for some breakfast" she got off the bed after putting her coffee on the side and walked over to her drawers "Are the rest of the girls up?"

"I'm not sure"

"Be a lamb and go check. If they are we can all go grab breakfast"

Chloe nodded to her and smiled as she headed to the door "Good idea, I'll see you in about twenty"

Beca just nodded without looking up to her and when she heard the door close she let out a deep breath. Covering her eyes with her palm as she felt her bottom lip go. She took another breath to try and keep her composure but if anything it slipped even more as it began to shake. She'd rather have heard Chloe say that she and Chicago did hook up last night as a whole holiday romance thing but instead she had to listen to Chloe talk about how much she likes this guy and how she plans on dating him.

Dating him.

"Oh fuck" Beca said breathlessly with bitterness in the back of her tone as she shut the drawer harder than she anticipated, she threw her chosen clothes on the bed and put her hands on her hips, looking down to the floor. Her face scrunching up as she damned to herself. Was it too early for a drink? Cause she felt like the only way she could get rid of this god forsaken pain was to drown it out.

She looked to the door where Chloe was stood just a minute ago, wondering she said out loud right now that she loved her if Chloe was still at close enough range to hear it. But that kind of shit only happened in the movies. She then thought about how Chloe did seem genuinely happy. Maybe Chicago could make her happier than she could. Maybe this was meant to happen if fate and karma was a thing. So maybe she deserved to lose her to someone else as karma for being so closed up about her feelings.

Beca didn't know whether she was trying to tell herself this to make her feel better or worse but either way she still felt like shit so she was either failing or succeeding.

She didn't want anyone to think she was moping around or even hungover so she got dressed as quickly as possible and met the girls down in the lobby exactly fifteen minutes afterwards, they had to hang around for Amy and Emily a little while longer but they still all went over to get their breakfast, it feeling very much like having a last meal together. For now at least anyway. Instead of making a toast with champagne, Chloe found it possible to make a toast with cups of coffee. Getting all emotional and stuff again, they just let her do as she pleased, it was pretty endearing especially knowing it was the last in a way.

They tried to make it last as much as possible. Amy leaned back to Beca and muttered "So what was with you last night, boozy?"

Beca rolled her eyes "Am I not allowed to get drunk?"

"No you are it's just...you never get that drunk. I felt like I was out ranked"

She glanced over to Chloe and just shrugged "Guess the whole celebration thing just went to me head-dude I don't know I just let loose more"

It was a good job she got this deal with Khaled because it was literally the best excuse she had for getting that drunk. Not the fact that she is burying her deepest secret of the fact that she was completely in love with her best friend and even the thought now of her and Chicago made her breakfast feel like it was going to come back up.

Amy just shrugged it off anyway "With my money and your inevitable money. We can do it together! And often"

Beca snorted "I don't know about that"

"That's what they all say" Amy said as she turned her head back to the group. Beca looked to Chloe again, seeing how she was glancing to her phone. The thoughts running through her mind and telling her that it must be Chicago.

Chicago and his stupid perfect eyes and hair. Fuck that guy.

She tried to go on with the time they had left without thinking about things too much, luckily the girls were a good distraction for that. They just hung around the hotel for the rest of the day until they had to go back up in their room and grab their cases to get ready for the coach to take them to the airport.

They came downstairs and outside to the front entrance and saw Chicago waiting there. They all walked down as Emily addressed him "Hey. You the goodbye committee?"

Chicago let out a breathless laugh and took his shades off "Yeah, I figured I couldn't let you guys go without saying goodbye, it's been a pleasure getting to know you all"

They all returned the exchange in unison.

Chicago looked to Beca, pressing his palms together and pointed to her as he said with sincerity "Good luck"

Beca just smiled to him and hummed as she nodded as some kind of gratitude.

Choke

He helped them all get their cases in the back of the coach and one by one he said goodbye to them. Beca walked on the couch, going to the back and seeing out the window Chloe holding back with him, which wasn't a big surprise.

Chicago had his hands on her arms, standing close together as he gently rubbed her. Their foreheads were merely an inch apart as they spoke. Chloe did look upset, genuinely upset to part ways with him. Beca assumed he cracked some kind of joke to lighten the mood as she saw the smirk on his face as she lightly laughed. Chloe had her back to her but she could tell she was grinning.

She watched as Chicago put his finger under Chloe's chin and lifted her head, she then had to look away but not fast enough to know he was in fact leaning in for a kiss. Beca just closed her eyes and groaned under her breath. Pushing her forehead into her palm. Must that happen every time she's spying?

Chloe got on the coach eventually. Beca watched her as she came to the seat beside her, although her eyes were still outside to him, she pressed her fingertips against her mouth and then motioned her hand to him.

Blowing a kiss are you fucking kidding me?

Beca kept her eyes down to her phone up until Chloe sat down next to her with a piece of paper in her hand, she eyed her up "And that is? What exactly?"

"He wrote me something" Chloe shrugged.

Beca cleared her throat and let out a scoff as she muttered "The hell is this, Dear John?"

Chloe looked to her "Hm?"

"I said nice" Beca lied as she stirred in her seat. Chloe didn't question it, she didn't read the little love letter he wrote her either, she put it in her bag for later.

Beca saw Chloe wipe her cheek in the corner of her eye and looked to her. As much as she was hating the fact that Chloe was crying over a guy she was crying nonetheless and she was her friend first and foremost. Beca put her hand on her arm "You okay?"

"Yeah" Chloe sighed, then letting out a shrug "I mean it's not like I won't see him again, right? I mean he said when he next goes on leave he's going to come to New York"

Choke choke choke

Beca cleared her throat and plastered on a tight smile "So you're now dating a soldier? Mature"

Chloe smiled, nearly blushing as she shrugged "I guess"

Beca gave her another smile and then turned away. As soon as Chloe's eyes went elsewhere she allowed her face to drop again.

It was one thing having to deal with the Chicago and Chloe pain train whilst overseas it was going to be another thing entirely dealing with it when she got back home.