WHAT'S UP MY DUDES?

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I have never felt so American

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Someone save me...

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First and foremost... This was written for Hogwarts, where I am a Snek (hiss hiss), Assignment #8: Ghost Hunting Task #10: Write about someone hitchhiking.

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Secondly... This was written for the Hogwarts Marauders Map...

- #31: Hieroglyphic Hall - (AU) Tattoo Artist!AU

- #66: Vestibule of Mischief - (Dialogue) "Mischief managed."

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The rest of the prompts are listed below the fic!

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Summary: Sirius is riding his bike cross country and decides to stop at a tattoo parlor, one that James had been to whilst on holiday with Lily. Not long after, with his new tattoo, his bike breaks down and he is caught in a sticky situation, leaving him desperate to be rescued.

Warnings: I mean. Slightly steamy make-out sesh? It's implied that it goes further? But like.. all that happens is a little toplessness by our beautiful Siri?

Word Count (excluding AN): 2115

Last Minute Notes: Elizabeth. You. Are. Queen. Thank. You. For. Dealing. With. Me. I. Know. You've. Already. Read. It. But. Here. Is. Some. Wolfstar. That. Won't. Make. You. Cry.


Mischief Managed

Sirius slid off his motorbike, glancing up at the tattoo parlor. The sign hanging above the door was new, but the brick building clearly wasn't—if Sirius were to make a guess, 'Over the Moon Tattoos' was a new business and the owners could only afford this cheap, old place. That didn't matter to the young man, though. He just wanted a tattoo, and he had heard from James that this place was good.

What James really had told him was that the owner was just Sirius's type, but the young Black tried to pretend that he wasn't just here to see some bloke.

Upon entering the small parlor, Sirius immediately laid eyes upon the man that James had told him about—he was sitting on a couch, which looked like it was there for people who were waiting, reading a book. The top half of his cinnamon-colored hair was pulled up into a ponytail, and his frame was hidden behind a loose tan sweater. The way he was sitting, leaning back against the cushions with one long leg crossed over another, spoke of elegance, and his thin fingers curling around the book spoke of artistic ability.

He wasn't wearing a name tag or anything, but there was no way this could be anyone other than the Remus Lupin that James had told Sirius about.

"You look too clean to own a tattoo shop," Sirius said dryly, noting that Remus only looked up from his book after he spoke.

His amber eyes were analytical—Sirius could tell, with just one look, that this man ran his life by logic, which was a trait Sirius knew he needed in a partner because he was too… loose.

"And you look like the typical bad boy looking for a tat," Remus said with a soft smile, slipping something between the pages of his book and setting it to the side. "Let me guess… You like the adrenaline rush of riding your bike without a helmet."

"Do I look capable of making healthy life choices?" Sirius asked, leaning against the wall, his eyes dancing around the decently lit parlor before trailing back to Remus. There were lots of designs on the walls, but nothing as interesting as the man in front of him.

Remus let out a low chuckle, finally pushing himself off the couch and showing Sirius just how tall his long limbs made him. "No, you don't. That's the point I'm trying to prove," he said, his lips pulling into a small grin.

He still looked too clean—too put together—to own a tattoo parlor in Sirius's opinion. He looked like he should be having a glass of wine at some charity event, talking about all of the hours he has spent volunteering at an English teaching school.

"You don't know me," Sirius countered, his eyes narrowing just slightly. He felt the desperate urge to run his fingers through his long black hair, but Remus was right: he didn't wear a helmet while riding, and instead chose to keep it up in a bun. Running his fingers through his hair now would just make a mess of things.

When Remus just raised an eyebrow, Sirius's shoulders raised in a careless shrug. "I love the feeling of the fresh air on my face and the wind blowing through my hair," he said, almost daring Remus to challenge him.

Remus did. "You're hair is pulled up," he said innocently, almost too innocently.

"Forgive me for trying to be poetic," Sirius said, a proper grin slipping over his lips. "How's this… I'm free and I love to be free."

Remus gave Sirius a proper smile, one that showed sparkling teeth and made the skin around his eyes crinkle—he looked like the type of young uni professor that all the students' love. "Fair enough. Now… What can I do for you?"

Sirius groaned as yet another car passed him by. He had been at it for roughly half an hour by this point, and was soaked to the bone—it had started raining five minutes after his bike broke down.

Headlights shone bright, slicing through the freezing onslaught of rain, and Sirius stuck out his hand again, his thumb raised high.

It was no good; the car sped on past, the driver obviously not sparing a second glance at the young man.

Sirius let out an angered yell, but it was drowned out by a clap of thunder. He was on the verge of giving up and taking shelter in the trees to the side of the road. To be honest, he had no idea where he was, but he wasn't exactly near civilization—his bike had broken down miles outside the nearest town.

He had just turned away when headlights shrouded him like a blanket of warmth. The best part was that they didn't go away, and the car that they belonged to slowed to a stop right behind him.

"You look like you could use some help," a familiar voice called from behind him, and Sirius turned around to see Remus Lupin half standing out of his car. A small bit of recognition lit up Remus's face, and he nodded to the car. "Get in."

Sirius didn't need to be told twice. Completely soaked, even through his black combat boots, he ducked his head and walked to the car, getting into the passenger side as quickly as he could. He stuffed his bike bag down on the floor at his feet, not particularly caring about the contents in them—apparently it had been partially open when the storm started, so everything inside was already soaked.

The first thing he noticed in the car was a tiny, battered red book sitting in the center console cup holder.

"The Tempest… Shakespeare," Remus said plainly, glancing at Sirius and giving him a smile before turning his attention to the road and starting to drive. "I've never read it."

Sirius raised an eyebrow before shrugging slightly and peeling his leather jacket off, wincing when the wrapping of his tattoo pulled uncomfortably—he had been hoping to be to a Travelodge or some bed and breakfast by now to have cleaned it, but here he was… soaked and in a near-stranger's car.

"Where are you headed?" Remus asked, changing the topic. "You have a proper place to stay?"

Sirius shrugged noncommittally, his eyes trained on the downpour outside. "Just the closest place to spend the night. Preferably something cheap—I kinda blew most of my money earlier today."

Remus frowned, glancing at Sirius before reaching forward to turn the heater up after noticing that he was shivering. "You had mentioned a bloke had told you about my parlor… Will he not let you spend the night?"

"James?" Sirius said, smiling softly. "Doesn't live nearby; he just passed through your town with his wife; they were taking a much deserved holiday. Turns out, your parlor is the perfect place to make split-second decisions."

Remus nodded. "His wife is like a little ball of fire, eh? I remember a couple from last week that might have been them. If they they hadn't been so damn cute, their lovey-doveyness would have been sickening," he said, making Sirius laugh. "They got matching deer tattoos," he added, as if that explained everything.

"Yeah. That sounds like Lily and James," he said, grinning softly before looking down at his hands.

"He's the bloke behind the one you got today?" Remus asked carefully, his long fingers tapping on the steering wheel. "I like the location of it. Very…"

"Trashy?" Sirius interjected with a grin. "Who would have guessed that you are into that. They are called Tramp Stamps for a reason," he said, leaning back in his seat and sending a wink Remus's way, mischief in his eyes.

"I wasn't going to say trashy," Remus said, his nose pointed towards the road. Sirius could see a light flush dusting his cheeks, and he couldn't help but grin a little wider. "I find it rather attractive. I take it you haven't been able to tend to it properly?"

Sirius shook his head—how Remus managed to both attempt to flirt and be so logical at the same time shocked him. He would be lying if he said he didn't find it endearing, though. "Not yet. I was hoping to have a room by now…" he said before trailing off with a shrug. "I've had a really long day."

"That much is clear," Remus said, rolling his eyes. "It's okay to not be okay, you know."

Sirius let out a slightly dry laugh, finally starting to feel a little warmer—if he could just get out of his freezing clothes, things would be better. "So I've heard," he said softly before turning to Remus. "In any case, tomorrow is sure to be interesting, considering that I'll need to go back for my bike," he said with a slight grin.

Remus frowned. "How about… How about you spend the night at mine, and I can take you back to your bike on my way to work?" he asked softly, his voice starting to pick up in speed. "That way you don't have to go hitchhiking again and—"

"I'd really appreciate that, Remus," Sirius cut in, smiling softly.

"Get out of those clothes and into the shower before you get sick," Remus told Sirius as soon as they were in a small cottage, Remus pointing upstairs. "First door on the right. I'll get you something to change in to."

Sirius nodded, kicking off his his boots before padding up the stairs—something told him that this house wasn't Remus's first choice of living, and when he saw the picture frames littering the the stairway, he realized that the photos inside were ones that parents would show, not children. Little Remus flanked by a woman and a man; little Remus riding a bike.

"My parents left me the house," Remus explained, making Sirius jump. He hadn't realized Remus had seen him right there. The tattoo artist held a bundle of clothes in his hands, and he was smiling softly. "I haven't had it in me to take anything down. Almost everything is just as they left it."

Sirius nodded in understanding, returning the smile before gesturing to the picture with Remus on the bike. "You were cute."

"Still am," Remus countered, eyes bright. He continued climbing the stairs, only stopping when he was two stairs below Sirius.

"Take another step and I'll kiss you," Sirius said, taking a chance and being bold—he didn't see how it could hurt.

Remus took another step; one stair below Sirius and the two were roughly the same height. The last thing Sirius saw before Remus was too close to see was the wolfish grin on the tattoo artist's lips.

"We need to get you out of those clothes," Remus murmured softly, his hands carefully sliding over Sirius's hips, as if he were prepared to stop at the slightest hesitation on.

Sirius didn't hesitate. His lips were on Remus's before the other man could say another word, and the kiss they shared was desperate and needy.

It was the perfect way for Sirius to warm up after his ordeal in the rain earlier; Remus's hands slid down before prompting Sirius to jump, which he did, wrapping his legs immediately around Remus's hips. Neither of them broke the kiss as Remus walked them to the bathroom and set Sirius on the counter.

It was only as Sirius's shirt was coming off and their kiss was getting deeper that Remus pulled away. "The fact that we haven't cleaned your tattoo yet is really stressing me out," Remus said, his voice breathy and cheeks flushed.

When Sirius groaned, fully removing his shirt and tossing it to the side before glaring at Remus, the tattoo artist flushed a little deeper. "I ruined the moment, didn't I?" he asked, his confidence from before shrinking just a little.

Sirius shook his head before grabbing at Remus's shirt, pulling him closer. "Maybe a little bit, but I'm sure we can get it back," he said, just as breathless as Remus had been. "Besides, you're right."

"I usually am," Remus countered with a grin, his confidence returning as he pulled Sirius off of the counter and gently turned him around. Sirius rolled his eyes, but moved as Remus's hands directed him to.

"Mischief Managed," Remus murmured as he removed the wrapping from the tattoo, revealing the words written in black ink on pale skin as he tossed the spent material in the nearby bin. "Shit, I like that."

"You better," Sirius countered, looking cheekily over his shoulder, his eyes bright. "You're the one who etched it into my skin."


AN 2.0: Prompts

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Writing Club:

- Character appreciation 22: (Physical Description) Long Hair

- Disney Challenge #10: You're Welcome - Write about someone tattooed, or getting a tattoo.

- Trope of the Month #5: Dialogue: "You don't know me."

- Lizzy's Loft #3: Daniel Howell - (color) black

- Showtime #6: Miracle of Miracles - (color) Red

- Count Your Buttons:

-Character #1: Sirius Black

-Word #4 Adrenaline

- Lyric Alley #15: I'm free and I love to be free

- Ami's Audio #11: Alt: (color) Black

- Emy's Emporium #12. Curling up with a book - (character) Remus Lupin

- Lo's Lowdown #2: "Do I look capable of making healthy life choices?"

- Bex's Basement #12. Ant Man - Alternatively, use the dialogue, "I ruined the moment, didn't I?"

- Film Festival #8: (dialogue) "I've had a really long day."

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Autumn Seasonal:

- Day: November 19th: (dialogue) "It's okay to not be okay." alt, write about someone having a bad day.

- Autumn Prompts: (object) boots

- Color: Cinnamon

- Birthstone: Bloodstone - (dialogue) "Take another step and I'll kiss you."

- Air Element: (quote) "I love the feeling of the fresh air on my face and the wind blowing through my hair." - Evel Knievel

- Ravenclaw Prompts: (trait) Logical