Learning the Hard Way
by Laura Boeff
Cosmo trembled as he leaned against the wall. Had to keep doing
this. Had to. Needed to know his limits. Pushing away, Cosmo stumbled and
tried to walk. Tried. It wasn't easy as he made it through the door without
incident. Damn, he should be better then this! It hadn't even been eight
hours. Sure, it was a full shield, the most powerful one he could generate,
but still...
Vertigo reached up and smacked Cosmo in the face and he barely
caught the wall. Oh.. damn. He should be able to do better. He could hold
a basic shield for fourteen hours straight. Why couldn't he hold a full
for at least ten?
Cosmo clenched his teeth and forced himself down the hall. Why
was he doing this to himself? Why?! He hated shields! Hated them with an
absolute passion, but.. Cosmo sighed. They were as much a part of his life
as was his sense of Ace. His ability to sense other magicians that seemed
to go above and beyond the call of duty with Ace in allowing him to also
sense the older man's emotions and magic use. They still hadn't figured
out why. Truth was, Cosmo really didn't care. Sensing Ace just seemed to
be as normal as breathing to him. Even the moments that hurt.
Hey, he'd made it to the living room without falling on his face!
Cosmo grinned at the small achievement. Okay, ten hours was out of the
question, but damn if he wasn't going to make eight. The shields were Ace's
particular worry. A worry Cosmo wanted to relieve him of. He wanted to
be able to tell Ace the limits to his abilities and to expand them. Not
that he every really planed to shield this long against his partner. Like
hell, if he would, but it would put his friend at ease knowing he could.
But the headache was going to kill him. Cosmo groaned as he slumped
down on to the couch. Generating a shield had become second nature to him.
He could almost slam one up immediately when needed. It was rather different
from any other type of casting. Most magic was momentary. One shot, one
use. Shields were more constant. One had to control the flow of magic into
the barriers. Keep it flowing at an even pace. Cosmo had to admit, with
a touch of pride, he was rather good at it. Ace tried himself. Tried to
relieve Cosmo of some of the burden, but Ace just wasn't good at it. A
point of annoyance in the veteran magician. Ace wasn't use to coming up
against a magic ability he couldn't perfect, but shielding... Cosmo smiled.
Ace simply didn't have the awareness, the feel for the empathic bond to
really know how to direct his magic. Without that knowledge the older man
would always be floundering. And boy, did Ace hate that!
Looking at his watch Cosmo sighed and tried to relax, running
through a mediation exercise while keeping the flow of magic constant.
It was getting harder, letting that power trickle through him in a controlled
rate.
Eight hours. The goal was eight hours. For minutes he sat there,
relaxing, trying to find a still-point that would make the magic easier
to work. And looking... and looking... Cosmo sighed and opened his eyes.
Okay, he was now convinced he didn't have a still-point. Heck, Vega was
convinced he couldn't physically hold still, the same was probably true
for his mental state.
Speaking of holding still. Cosmo took a deep breath and looked
around. He just couldn't sit on the couch doing nothing. Even though it
was easiest to work his magic that way. But, the whole point to this experiment
was to see how long he could hold a shield in day to day use. Day to day
Cosmo rarely stayed put for more than fifteen minutes.
Computer room. That was it. He could go over the newest update
to Angel's files. Pushing himself up Cosmo gulped as another wave of vertigo
washed through him.
Oh... that was not good. Hand clutching the couch back ,Cosmo
wavered. Maybe he should just wave the white flag and call it quits. But...
no. He wanted to see what his limits were and the only way was to push
them. So he pushed. His magic limits and off the couch, heading toward
the door.
Standing in the hall, Cosmo realized he wasn't sure where he
was heading. He stared blankly for a moment trying to remember which way
he wanted to go, faintly puzzled. Whoa. Why was everything looking kind
of funky? Cosmo stared, feeling himself rock slightly. Everything looked
far and away and rather dark.
"Cosmo?"
He jerked, looking up at his partner and squinting. Ace looked
all funny. Damn, he wasn't suppose to be home yet. Was he? Cosmo tried
to look at his watch, but couldn't seem to locate his wrist.
"Drop the shield, Cosmo!"
Damn. Ace sounded cheesed. He tried to smile.
"It's 'skay, Ace. Just seeing.. me limits," he murmured thickly.
Whoa. He sounded weird to. Cool.
"I think one case of magic shock would be enough for a lifetime,"
Ace growled. "Drop it, Cosmo. That's an order."
Cosmo sighed in defeat and did as Ace requested. No use fighting
the magician when he sounded like that. As he released the magic, cutting
it from his system, Cosmo suddenly found himself cut off, body falling
forward. Ace caught him with a grunt as Cosmo shook his head.
"Whoa.. weird," he murmured as Ace slung one arm over his shoulder.
"And just what the heck do you think you were doing?!" Ace hissed
in his ear as he was led back to the living room. Cosmo watched his feet
walking, curious that he didn't actually feel them.
"Test, Ace," he answered as the magician settled him on the couch.
"Seeing my limits. No big deal."
Ace suppressed the growl of irritation that wanted to escape.
Of all the... Instead, he caught Cosmo's chin and turned the young man
to face him. Cosmo looked at him, gray eyes glazed. There was no better
description for it, Cosmo looked stoned. Damn. One step away from falling
to a complete magic shock. Again. What was it going to take to get Cosmo
to stop experimenting in his absence?! Sure, he'd tested his limits in
his youth, but Cosmo seemed to take the curious ventures to the extreme.
"How do you feel?" he asked, reaching for a thin wrist.
"Weird," Cosmo declared cheerfully. "All kind of floating." A
yawn escaped unconsciously.
His pulse was fast and showing no inclination of slowly. To damn
close.
"Cosmo. You agreed, no experimenting unless I was here to help!"
he snapped.
Cosmo frowned. "Sorry, Ace," he mumbled. "I just wanted... your
always worried. Just seeing how long I could hold a shield."
Ace frowned. "A shield? You can hold a shield for fourteen hours.
We already tried that, Cosmo."
A shield should not do this to his partner. Not in just seven
and a half hours. The time Ace had been away from the Express.
"Full shield, Ace," Cosmo sighed, endeavoring to rub at his temples.
His hand missed completely and he frowned.
"Full shield?" Ace thought about that. "What do you mean a, full
shield, Cosmo?"
"Full shield, Ace," Cosmo explained. "I can block you out entirely.
Just wanted to be able to tell you how long."
"When did you learn to shield fully?" Ace was trying to think.
When had Cosmo actually managed that? Not ever as far as he knew.
Cosmo sighed and sadness sheeted over his face.
"When you attacked me, Ace," he started, voice oddly distant.
"I was afraid you'd do it again, so I generated this really powerful shield.
Works by layering a number of basic shields together. Blocks you out entirely."
He looked up with a slight frown and dazed expression.
"It sucks actually. But I know you would want to know how good
I am at it."
Ace was frozen. Emotional pain lanced through him. So that was
how he had learned the ability. His attack. Even now it was one of the
hardest things for Ace to deal with, even after all this time. Damn, of
all the ways for Cosmo to learn a full shield.
He locked down on the emotions. Cosmo was too messed up at the
moment and he didn't need the dark specters anyways.
"You should have told me what you were planning, Cosmo. It's
still dangerous to push your limits like this," Ace admonished gently,
resting his hand on the young mans knees. "Next time, tell me, let me be
about."
Cosmo nodded spastically.
"Sorry. Wanted to be a surprise. I know you worry, Ace."
Ace sighed. He did worry. And apparently he'd been worrying to
much for Cosmo to take this drastic of a measure. The young man still was
fretful about pleasing Ace. Even after all this time. There was really
no one to blame but himself for projecting his own fears into his young
friend.
Cosmo shuddered and let out a small moan.
"Oh man."
"Cosmo?" Ace looked worriedly as Cosmo swayed against the couch.
He immediately offered a helping hand as the teen started to slump down
onto the cushions.
"Feel sick, Ace," he groaned. Ace sighed and helped him stretch
out, grabbing a throw pillow and tucking it under his partner's head. Damn,
half a step away from magic shock. Never in his life had Ace been happy
to come home early from a date with Mona. He thanked the gods of good timing
as he pulled off his cape, settling it around the young man.
"Cosmo, I mean it when I say, I don't want you experimenting
like this," he rumbled in annoyance and worry, both emotions filling his
voice in equal amounts.
"I'm not a little kid, Ace," Cosmo spat weakly, eyes shut against
the nausea.
"No, nor are you a seasoned magician. Cosmo, you've only been
training for just over a year. I know you got a late start, but as magic
goes, you're just learning to walk," he argued. Not for the first time.
Most magic user gained their abilities earlier, normally around puberty.
Cosmo's had blossomed late. Cosmo, self-conscious about how people viewed
him by his abilities took a rather negative reaction at having to be dependent
on someone for guidance. The fact that he was a legal adult didn't help
really. It just made Cosmo all the more annoyed that he couldn't stand
on his own two feet, magic wise, when he could handle competently everything
else in his life.
A weak sigh escaped the young man.
"I know, Ace, I know," he murmured. "Sorry."
Ace smiled. Cosmo might hate needing guidance, but he wasn't
dumb enough to think he didn't need it.
"Slow down, Cosmo. That's all I ask. You've got years of training
ahead of you. No need to rush into things."
"Yea, but wanted to surprise you."
Ace sighed again. That was his fault. Cosmo could shield very
well against him. His friend was almost never caught off guard anymore
by his use of the Magic Force or his sudden emotional spikes. It was his
own guilty insecurities that kept him fretful.
"I know." Ace patted him on the shoulder. "And thank you, Cosmo.
I'm sorry I've made such a fuse over this. It was unfair to you. I never
really meant for this to get this out of hand."
"You worry, Ace.. it's okay," Cosmo muttered.
"I worry too much. I am sorry, Cosmo. Thank you for wanting to
make it a surprise for me."
"Didn't work," the teen lamented. Thank goodness for that, Ace
thought and smiled as Cosmo groaned softly.
"Anything I can do to help?"
"I'll take an aspirin this big if you've got one," Cosmo said,
holding his hands a good foot apart.
"You promise not to push your limits anymore without me being
around?" Ace asked.
A frown marred Cosmo's pale brow.
"That's blackmail."
"It is." Ace couldn't help but grin. "Are you going to stop pushing?"
Cosmo groaned again, but it wasn't entirely from the pain of
his overcastting.
"You're cruel. Plain cruel." The words came out with a slight
smile. "Okay, no pushing without permission. Anything to get rid of this
headache."
Ace chuckled and squeezed the young man's shoulder as he got
up.
"One aspirin coming up."
"One nothing, bring the whole bottle," Cosmo argued.
Ace smiled. "Okay, whole bottle it is. I think you've more then
earned it."
Cosmo made a face. "Don't remind me."
Ace just laughed and went to retrieve the desperately desired
aspirin. Yea, Cosmo was learning about magic. And typical to his head strong
ways, Cosmo was learning the hard way.