Almost Lover, a d.gray-man fanfic

Lavi looked down at the letter that had fallen out of his hand. He hadn't known what to expect when a young man had walked up to him and handed him the letter but he would have never in a million years have guessed that it was this. Allan picked it up and read it over before looking to Lavi for an explanation.

"Lavi who is this from?"

It took him a minute to form the answer he was so out of it.

"Um, it's from a girl who I used to know."

"She sounds like more than just someone you used to know if the letter is anything to go off of. "

"Can we drop the subject, I really don't want to talk about it right now…"

"Yeah, sure, no problem I'll just head back to the hotel and see if Bookman needs anything."

Lavi didn't even acknowledge Allan as he walked away he was already lost in memories he had long kept buried.

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

He had met her in Spain while he was doing research one summer years ago. He had been young and it was the first time that he had been in love. He knew that as a bookman he wasn't supposed to make any sort of relationship but he was young and intoxicated by her. He had met her as she walked out of the local grave yard. Her older brother had just died and when he saw how strong her grief was he knew that it was only a matter before the Earl tried to make an Akuma out of her. He decided to befriend her and in turn save her from a horrid fate. However as time went on he found himself slowly falling in love with her. They would spend lazy summer evenings sitting on the beach and watching the sun set over the water. He would sing to her and it never failed to put her to sleep his voice lulling her right off to dream land. However his duties as a bookman always lingered at the back of his mind. He knew that he would eventually have to leave her and that knowledge hurt him deeply.

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache

Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images
And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you'd never ever forget these images, no

During the day they spent their days exploring the towns and small villages in the surrounding area. They would wander around the local markets buying exotic fruit and colorful trinkets. Sometimes there would be a group of musicians playing fun and up beat music in the town square. Lavi would always sweep her off to dance. He had the hyperactive soul of a child and as such loved to anything that was considered frivolous, especially dancing. He taught her all sorts of different steps and she enjoyed every last moment of it. However the summer could never last and all too soon he received summons to head to Germany to continue his research there. He had decided to make her believe that he never cared about her, hopefully she would believe his lie and move on with her life. He spent his last night in her bed, watching her sleep and stroking her hair. He gave her a quick kiss before leaving…

He had wanted her to be happy. That was why he had left like he had, so that she could hate him and then move on. However according to the letter she had tried but it didn't work…

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy
To walk right in and out of my life?

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

She hadn't been able to do anything without being reminded of the time they spent together. It had been over five years since their time together and she had spent the entire time hurting over him leaving. He wished he could go back and tell her why he left and that he still loved her, that he never stopped loving her.

In his daze Lavi had walked to the graveyard where the two of them had first met. He stopped at the gate before reaching into his pocket to grab a smaller note that had been attached to her letter to him. He had slipped it into his pocket with the intent of reading it at a later time when he was alone. However he forgotten about it while he was immersed in his memories. He decided to walk over to a nearby bench before reading it.

'Dear Lavi,

I know we never met in person but I feel that it is my duty as Emily's best friend to inform you of what happened to her after you left. For the first few months she could barely function. She spent most of her time crying in her room and she lost a dangerous amount of weight. Finally we, being myself and her other best friends, took her to the hospital. She spent the next year there regaining her health and getting help from a therapist. Finally they let her out and for a while we thought everything was fine. Until about a year ago when she started having nightmares, she told me that you were back and that this time you promised you would stay for good, you two got married had a glorious honeymoon and then settled into a cozy little house near the beach. Everything was perfect, until one day she comes home to find you with another woman in your bed. She said that she always woke up after that. Soon it became hard for her to go anywhere without thinking about you and her dream. She started to mix fantasy with reality and didn't know when she was dreaming and when she was awake. I guess it became too much for her. I found her lying face down in her bathtub. The other letter enclosed in this envelop was sitting on the bathroom counter. I asked around to find where you went but no one knew anything. Finally I met a young man who said that he remembered what you looked like; he promised to deliver this to you if or when he saw you again. I want you to know that she never gave up the hope that one day you would come back for her, but that she wouldn't have wanted you to mourn her death. I hope that where ever you are and whatever you are doing has made you happy because that is the only way I can justify you ever leaving Emily like you did. She is buried next to her brother Jason if you ever feel the need to visit her one last time. I only ask this, don't ever come looking for me or any of her other friends. We all loved her dearly and none of us could handle seeing the man who not only made her the happiest woman on the planet but also drove her to madness in person.

May you have a long and prosperous life,

Jamie Morgan'

Lavi couldn't believe she was dead. He knew from Emily's letter that he had hurt her greatly but he never would have imagined that his departure would eventually lead her into madness and then death. Slowly, painfully, he walked towards where she was now buried. He knelt before the simple tombstone and stared blankly at it before breaking down and weeping openly. For once he didn't care if he was breaking any rules or destroying his dignity, he had driven the only girl he had ever loved to suicide and he would be damned if he didn't mourn for her.

Every year after that Lavi came back to visit Emily's grave. He honored her friend's wishes and never sought them out, though at times he desperately wanted to. As time went on and trouble with the Noah started to grow he started visiting her grave less and less until finally he stopped visiting all together. However every time he destroyed an Akuma he could picture her angel coming down from heaven carry the tormented souls to peace at last…

So this oneshot is based off the song Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy. I was originally going to write it as a Spain/OC story until I thought of Lavi. It's been a while since I've written a oneshot so I hope it was okay…. Thanks for reading you all are amazing!

-Ambercat999