Dedication, a glee fanfic

Dedication

Written by WickedSong

Disclaimer/Note : I do not own Glee, it belongs to FOX. I also do not own the song 'Run' originally performed by Snow Patrol. The version I'm using here though is the Leona Lewis cover. This is an extension of the first chapter of You Are The Reasons For The Words 'What If', since I couldn't think of a song for her to sing at that point and it finally hit me in the face one day.

Mercedes stood at the front of the stage, microphone in hand and nerves bubbling up within her. She loved this feeling, of the spotlight, of every eye on her, waiting for her to sing the opening note but she also felt the huge pressure on her shoulders. It was her senior year, it was the senior year for many of the original New Directions and she felt as if it was her duty and her duty alone to help bring the Nationals trophy to her school.

Even if there was another number after this one, this would be the one to make the most impact. It would be the one to set the standard for their entire set of songs in the mind of the judges. She had to get this right.

She grabbed the microphone more assertively. She was Mercedes Jones, one of the divas of McKinley High School and she was all it entailed. She was going to blow the roof off of this place, she was going to make them all sit up and notice.

Waiting three years for her chance at a competition solo had made her all the more hungry for it.

The opening notes of the song began, Shane, from the side of the stage gave her an encouraging smile and she launched into the opening lyrics.

"I'll sing it one last time for you, then we really have to go, you've been the only thing that's right, in all I've done. And I can barely look at you, but every single time I do, I know we'll make it anywhere away from here."

Who was she singing this for, was her first thought as she got into the emotion of the song? Was it Shane? Up until half an hour ago she had believed it was, she was intent on him being her inspiration and he still was, in a way. He was the one she loved. But there was a sort of overpowering force, overpowering memory, sending her thoughts towards not her boyfriend who stood silently supporting and cheering her on at the side. No, they fell on a certain ex-glee member who had stood on this stage, just he and his guitar, in this position, only a little while before she had.

She had always insisted to Rachel, to Kurt, even to Mr. Schue when he had once asked who this song was dedicated to. Shane had always been her honest and sincere reply.

But that was becoming more and more distorted as she continued.

"Light up, light up, as if you have a choice, even if you cannot hear my voice, I'll be right beside you dear. Louder, louder, and we'll run for our lives, I can hardly speak, I understand why you can't raise your voice to say."

So who was she singing about? Sam or Shane? About the blonde football player who she had had the whirlwind romance of three weeks with or the guy who had been there the entire year? She wasn't sure. It was something she couldn't put her finger on. And the more she thought about the words the more she marveled at how they related more to what she felt for Sam than for Shane. But that didn't mean anything about her current feelings towards Sam, did it?

No it doesn't, she thought firmly. She was perfectly content to sit back and be with Shane and not think about anything to do with Sam Evans. He was the one who had left and while it hadn't been through any choice or fault of his own, she couldn't be expected to still feel something. She couldn't admit to herself that when he had been standing on that stage she had felt a pull towards him.

It was those stupid regrets, nothing more.

"To think I might not see those eyes makes it so hard not to cry, and as we say our long goodbyes, I really need to, oh."

It was at this point she felt the tears prickle the corner of her eyes, she felt the emotion rise within her and she knew that this was only enhancing her performance, even if the sheer emotion of it all was slightly killing her inside. This was what they meant when they said baring your soul, bringing out a side of you that no one else had access to. Bringing out a secret that only you knew and presenting it to the world in a way that didn't give it away, only made them want to know more.

She thought about the goodbye, the one that lasted only a couple of minutes, in her hallway. Before they shared that last kiss, she had took one last look in those eyes, those green eyes, despite knowing better than to be pulled even more emotionally by them. It was all she could do to have that last kiss, and try not to cry even though she felt the tears fall.

The other members of the team started to come on the stage now, joining in the background of the song while Mercedes belted out the last part.

For a moment, Mercedes wondered if Sam was out in the audience with his own glee club. She wondered if he was sitting there, knowing she was singing about him. Did he realise she still thought about him? Did he know that she was putting her all into this and this song that was initially for her boyfriend was now for him, for her, for them, for everything that they could have been.

For everything she knew they would have been.

She closed the song while the last notes played on the instruments of the band and she rested the microphone back on the stand, hastily wiping her eyes with the back of her hand before joining everyone assembled on stage, and diving into their second number.

Sam Evans sat in the vast auditorium as Mercedes finished her song and shakily stood, clapping his hands together wildly, cheering the hardest he could for her, not even caring that his friends were looking at him weirdly. He hadn't explained beforehand that this was his choir, but then he also hadn't expected that performance.

He hadn't expected it to hit him really hard.

He wasn't sure of her story. He didn't know what had happened to her in the past year, whether she had a boyfriend or not, whether she hated him, whether she still had feelings for him but he did know one thing.

And he didn't know how he knew. It was just one of those gut feelings. It was one of those 'when you know, you know' moments.

He knew that song was for him.

She was singing that for him.

I promise I really will stop writing this angst soon but it's so darn easy, since I have so many feelings. Anyway, in YATRFTWWI (abbreviated because I really couldn't be bothered writing it out again) Mercedes sang but I didn't have a song then and then I was watching Music on Demand one day, put this one and it hit me square in the face. So this is an extension of that chapter. It's a separate oneshot because YATRFTWWI is a twoshot and I want to keep it like that.

Anyway, hope you enjoy,

WickedSong x

EDIT - 23rd September 2011 - Changed the character of 'James' name to 'Shane' to be compliant with season three.