Prayer to Castiel
by Loteva
A/N: My first fanfiction in English.
Castiel, if you hear me, get your feathery ass down here, so I can kick it. Hard.
Who am I kidding, I know you're dead, totally exploded from the inside. And you know what – I don't care! I'm not gonna drink a beer and reminisce about old times, how you were such a good friendly angel – okay, I will drink a beer, but that's beside the point – just because you personally screwed up and got yourself killed.
You may sit in your angelic, VIP-only heaven, sip on a martini and think you're off the hook and I can do shit about it – but you're wrong. Face it like a man – an angel – you royally fucked things up, and just after we finally were done with apocalypse you started another mess, died and now maybe expect us to deal with it all alone?
Not a chance.
When me and Sam broke the seals, at least we had the decency to not leave our business unfinished. We fixed it and you helped us. We were friends.
And then... dealing with demons? With that sleaze bag Crowley, who had been Lilith's toyboy? Have you lost your marbles? Cas, seriously?
Why did you keep us in the dark? Friends tell each other things. I'm not much into this sharing and caring crap but I would have helped you figure this out.
I don't know what hurts more – that you didn't believe in me enough or that I believed in you too much. I was so sure you knew what you were doing I didn't even realize what's been happening. I couldn't stop you.
And I am angry. At you, me, Crowley, Leviathans, Raphael, God... He's brought you back twice. Why can't He do it again? Shouldn't you have a chance at redemption, like we did?
Look... I forgive you for your stupidity. Just come back, Cas.
There's a lot of Leviathan ass to kick and don't you forget it's all your fault and your responsibility. You don't deserve an eternal rest and peace, not until you fix it. All that harp-playing you missed out on can wait a little longer.
And don't you dare tell Sam I actually prayed when you come back or I'll kick your ass.