Sakura couldn't help that the memory of that fateful spring night would stick to her mind like bitter shards of glass, wedged deep inside her brain so she would never forget. She could still remember the breeze, the way it wafted his scent over her and that was how she knew he was behind her.
That was the first thing she couldn't get out of her head: the way Sasuke smelled, especially when it was combined with the freshness of the spring evening.
Sakura still remember the tears that slid down her cheeks when she realized that what she had taken was a risk and how she had failed.
There was no other way to put it: everything had fallen that night- her tears; the delicate cherry blossoms that the wind whisked to the ground; her hope; his life; their dreams. They just couldn't see it yet.
Her mission, in the very beginning, was to fix him. She wanted to prove Ino wrong and she wanted to make Sasuke into someone he wasn't.
But over time it had changed to be less selfish: if she could save him, if he didn't have to run away to satisfy his dream…if she could convince him that what he needed was right in front of him…
She risked her heart and his heart and together they had failed at keeping them whole.
Sakura couldn't help but remember the first time she had seen him in three whole years. His silhouette blocked out the sun like the still healing bruise on her heart trapped all of her desperate love for him inside. She couldn't even see his face, but she knew it was him, the way he stood over her and Sai like they were ants he was about to burn with his red magnifying glass eyes.
That was the second thing she couldn't get out of her head: the way Sasuke stood, forever confident, especially now that she could see his tainted soul.
Sakura still remembers the way his name slipped from her lips, but he didn't even look at her and she realizes again she's taken a risk and failed him.
Everything had exploded that day: the pent up lovehatredangerenvysadnesssadnesssadness in her heart and mind, that which she had so carefully guarded and kept safe- it exploded inside of her but on the outside she was simply frozen.
She wanted to bring him back, and by god she was going to do it, whether he was dead or alive.
But that moment she realized she wouldn't be the one, and that she never had been. So she punches her way through solid rock so that Naruto can get through, so that someone can bring him back.
She was going to risk her heart and Naruto's heart and they were going to bring Sasuke home, whether they got broken in the process or not.
Sakura couldn't help but remember the last few hours, as though they were driven into her brain by the furious strength she had pummeled into her teammates not a moment before. The three of them had faced each other down like stars daring each other to burn out; one of them was about to any time now. Sasuke had finally looked her in the eye that night, for the first time in four years, and his eyes were as sad as the rain that created mud puddles around their feet.
That was the third thing she couldn't get out of her head, even as she lay dying: Sasuke's eyes, especially how she was the only one to have ever seen the sadness that graced them.
Sakura still remembers how those twin pools of onyx were the only things that kept her from giving up: and here she was, and she was taking another risk for him and failing yet again.
Everything died that day, as they lay in heaps on the muddy ground, together, at peace, at last. She died that day, knowing that Sasuke had finally let his weakness show through only to her, and that maybe all those risks and failures hadn't been for nothing. He died, confident that he had brought his best friend home, and that the bonds they shared had never actually been broken. He died, secretly regretting every step he had taken further from Konoha, but holding their hands all the same.
She had helped bring him back, and they were all born that day.
And at that moment, she realized she was happy and in love with the two best boys in the world; because in her heart they would always be the stupid children that held silly contests against each other and vied for one another's attention.
They had broken each other's hearts beyond repair now, but each one held a shard of the other two, nested deep into their very soul.