Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: None I think

Defunct HYDRA base - Siberia 2016

Steve let the shield drop from his arm, landing in a muffled metallic thud on the ground. For the first time since 1943, he was leaving captain America behind. He shifted his weight slightly, getting a better grip on the man barely standing beside him. Steve Rogers carried his injured brother out of the base.

When the shield hit the ground, Tony's world completely collapsed around him. And for the first time in a very long time felt truly alone and abandoned. It was no secret that Tony and Steve didn't always see eye to eye, but Tony had thought that at the very least they were brothers in arms and at best they were possibly family. He never thought in a million years that Captain America, Mr Righteous, Virtuous and Altruistic himself would betray him like that. He was the last person Tony ever thought would do that. Yet here he was, sitting on the ground of an old HYDRA base in Siberia, in a busted up suit, staring at the shield on the ground.

Tony wasn't sure how long he stayed like that, but at some point T'Challa knelt in front of him, concern in his eyes. The king helped him up to his feet, then bent down to grab the shield and gave it to him. Tony vaguely remembers him saying something about having Zemo in custody and that they should bring him back to Ross. Tony remembers waving him off with a "yeah, sure, sounds great" as he walked away towards what he figured was the exit. He needed to make a call, but FRIDAY wasn't connecting for some reason. 'Oh right' he thought as he looked down to his chest to find the familiar white light gone.

"Your majesty can I borrow your phone, I need to make a call."

T'Challa had agreed to wait 24hrs before they would hand Zemo over, Tony didn't want Ross to raid the Hydra base before he had a chance to have a once over first. When FRIDAY arrived with a new suit, she found Tony in an old records room, surrounded by dusty file boxes, some already opened with their contents scattered about. He was sitting in the middle of the chaos, trying to wrap his head around the life that had been the Winter Soldier's. He'd barely scratched the surface of what HYDRA had done to Barnes to create their Soldier, and he was already forgiving the man for killing his parents. Because as much as his ego would like to deny it, he wouldn't have lasted half as long as Barnes had before they completely shattered him and started putting the pieces back together.

Tony, with T'Challa's help, filled the quinjet FRIDAY had brought with all the records boxes he could find. There were a lot, this was going to take a while to sift through, and Tony already knew he was going to be locking himself up in his lab going through all of them. He needed to go through them, see it all himself. And maybe in the end, he would understand the choices Steve had made. Because after it all, deep down Tony still needed to have Steve's approval. The approval of the only man who could link him to his father. Maybe Barnes could be his new link. They had after all also been friends. Man he had daddy issues for days, he thought.

What time was it? What day was it? Tony wasn't sure anymore, but by the smell of his shirt it had been a while since he had opened that first box back in his lab. Tony now found himself in front of a wall of records of sorts. FRIDAY had scanned every piece of paper he had pulled out of a box, digitized every video tape he had watched, and had organized it all chronologically on this virtual evidence wall. There were the contents of only one box missing on this "wall", because how do you digitize or scan a bloody uniform or an old leather wallet? Tony held the large leather wallet in his hands, in it he had found a few pictures and some letters. Pictures of Barnes' family and some letters. But what had hit Tony hard was the pictures of Barnes and an unnamed Army Nurse. Both looked tired and were covered in dirt, in one Barnes was holding onto her, and they were both laughing, in another they were looking at each other with so much love Tony was actually jealous. Another one of the woman sitting on rubble, smiling. Moments of pure happiness captured in the middle of hell. The man in those photos didn't kill his parents, would have never killed his parents.

Tony understood why Steve protected Barnes, hell he would have protected that man in the photos too. No, he doesn't blame Barnes for his parents death anymore, not even in the slightest. But where he can forgive Barnes for pulling the "trigger", he still can't forgive Steve for not telling him.

Museum exhibits can be funny things. In a time when Captain America is considered a wanted criminal. The Smithsonian still has it's original Captain America exhibit, with the added 8"x11" letter posted just as you come into the exhibit stating the events of the UN bombing, the setup of Sgt Barnes, and Rogers unwillingness to sign the Accords making him now a wanted criminal. You know for the sake of presenting historical facts, and not at all about telling a certain secretary of state to…

Tony walks through the exhibit. The museum had been kind enough to let him in after hours so he wouldn't be disturbed.

He stops in front of the "Barnes" panel, two sheets of etched glass, suppose to encompass an entire man's life. Tony felt anger bubble in his veins. Barnes deserved more than two panels. He muses Rogers probably felt the same when standing in this exact spot.

Tony feels a presence come to stand beside him.

"You know we asked Captain Rogers once, if he would share stories about Sargent Barnes. So we could expand the "Barnes" panels." The museum curator, Dr Waller said.

Tony didn't turn to look at the man. "I'm guessing he didn't."

"No. You could see how painful it was for him. The words just wouldn't form and leave his mouth. We left the invitation open, you know, for when he was ready".

Tony nodded, and turned towards the man. He seemed to Tony like an old university professor. With a jacket with elbow pads that had seen better days, thick glasses, salt and pepper hair. A stark contrast to his expensive suit.

"I might be able to help with that."

One month later

"The Smithsonian will be unveiling it's brand new James Buchanan Barnes exhibit this Friday. Made possible thanks to anonymous donations of unique artifacts, such as the actual WWII uniform worn by Sargent Barnes, the chair HYDRA used to create their Winter Soldier, and released SHIELD and HYDRA videos and files. This new exhibit will take you through the life of the worlds longest serving POW."

Tony placed the newspaper down on the counter, and sipped his coffee. This was very unlike him, not taking credit for something he helped create. Something Rhodes and Pepper had more than once pointed out. But this felt right to him, part of his own journey of healing. And it's not like it would be hard to really figure out who the anonymous donor was. Evidenced by the very angry phone call from Secretary Ross that morning.

Tony, well his lawyers, was also working to get Barnes cleared of all criminal charges for crimes he might of committed as the Winter Soldier. And in this he had T'Challa's surprisingly open and public support. Tony wasn't an idiot. He suspected the king at the very least knew where Barnes and Rogers were, if he wasn't outright harboring them. The king was a good man after all. The hope was that one day Barnes could come in from the cold, to a society and government that accepted him as a veteran and POW, not as HYDRA's assassin, or as a science experiment.

The day of the opening arrived. Tony pushes Rhodes wheelchair into the museum as flashes of lights erupt around him, and screams of "over here Mr Stark!" are heard coming from the crowd of reporters.

Tony had to hand it to Dr Waller and his team. The exhibit was a stunning, heartwarming and heartbreaking exposition of a human life. It held very little back of the horrors that were inflicted on the man. And forced the viewer to admit an uncomfortable truth: that they wouldn't of fared any better at the hands of HYDRA. James Buchanan Barnes was not only a victim, but a survivor. And one could only hope to be half the man he was.

Tony stood in front of what was quickly becoming his favourite panel. Here were copies of the pictures he had found in Barnes' wallet. But that was not what made this his favourite.

FRIDAY had found what had to be his favourite picture. It's one of Rogers and a few of the future Howling Commandos looking back towards what was obviously an area where the wounded were being treated. There you could see a soldier and an army nurse shyly smiling at each other as she bandaged him up. Their first encounter forever immortalised.

The moment when two soulmates met.

You could practically see the spark, hear the click, happening between the two. You couldn't look at the picture and not have your heart swell. Which made everything that happened next that much more heartbreaking.

Tony's lab

Based on the letters he had read, Tony knew the name of Barnes' girl, and had FRIDAY try to find out more about her. Tony hadn't expected to find a plethora of information on her, this was pre-internet era after all. But he hadn't expected to find barely nothing. All he found on the woman was her World War Two file, and some random accounts here and there from the memoirs of other WWII veterans. What Tony knew about the woman would fit on a single panel. It's as if she had no past, as if she had just suddenly appeared in France in 1940. Which in that time was a complete possibility. It was much easier back then to disappear, and to start a new life. Running off and joining the circus so to speak.

As far as Tony could tell, the army nurse's life started in May 1940, and ended in the Ardennes Forest outside of Foy on January 3rd 1945 after a German shell landed on her. She had pushed two soldiers out of the way, saving their lives. She had been given the Victoria Cross and the Medal of Honour for her sacrifice.

Tony had found very small pieces of burnt metal in Barnes' wallet. He had analyzed them and found them to be shell fragments. Why had Barnes held on to them? Looking at them he supposed they could be mistaken for dog tag fragments.

Speaking of dog tags. Tony had found it odd, that amidst everything HYDRA had kept, that Barnes' tags weren't amongst any of the boxes he had found.

Tony had FRIDAY make replicas of all the personal effects he had found, including the uniform. He even had dog tags made for the exhibit. Tony had different plans for the originals.

Tony pushed Rhodes out of the Smithsonian. Stopping, making sure the journalists waiting outside saw him. It didn't take long for the flashes and microphones to come out. Tony raised his hands, shushing the crowd of questions being thrown at him.

"I only have one thing to say, so listen up folks. HYDRA killed my parents, not Barnes. Sargent Barnes was a victim of HYDRA, just like my parents and so many others. I challenge anyone to go through this amazingly presented exhibit and still think otherwise. Thank you."

In a rundown motel in the middle of nowhere of a "-stan" country. An old flip phone rings. Steve pulled out the phone out of his bag, and looked at the caller id surprised. Answering he pulled it to his ear.

"Tony?"

The interest of the other occupants of the room peaked.

There's silence on the other side of the line. Steve was about to pull the phone from his ear and look at the caller Id once more when he heard his name.

"Cap… I've got something you're going to want to see."

"Just tell me when and where."

A few days later. Steve, Sam, Wanda and Nat scope out an abandoned building.

"You know, this could be a trap." Sam points out…again.

"So you keep saying Sam." Nat responds.

"You three, perimeter, stay sharp." Steve orders as he heads towards the building.

Inside he finds Tony in a new Iron Man suit, mask off, sitting on some old crates. Beside him is a small trunk.

"Tony, looking good."

"Cap, you've looked better."

Steve just smiled and nods. Life on the run isn't glamorous.

"I heard what you did for Bucky, with the exhibit. Thank you."

"Yeah well I didn't do it for you."

Steve raised his hands in surrender.

"Tony, I'm…"

"Look Cap. Barnes was a victim, I see that now. But you should of told me. And that, I don't know if I can forgive that."

"Well, I hope I can earn your trust back one day."

There was an awkward silence between the two.

"What's in the trunk?"

In a hut in Wakanda

Steve had just left, dropping off a trunk. Bucky had to admit that he was curious, but mostly nervous. Steve hadn't mentioned what was in it. Just that he would want to be alone when he opened it. Steve had given him a warm smile, before hugging him and leaving towards the city.

Bucky had brought the trunk outside. He sat himself down on the ground by the door, leaning his back into the hut. He dragged the trunk in front of him. Closing his eyes, gathering his courage, he lifted the lid with his right hand.

Opening his eyes, he was met with navy blue fabric. A blue he hadn't seen in over 70 years. With a trembling hand, he brushed the fabric with his fingers, as memories flashed in his mind. He pulled the coat out, and gently placed it beside him. His hand barely brushing over the ripped and bloodied left sleeve. Underneath he found his old uniform pants and boots. He placed them gently beside him as well.

At the bottom of the trunk there was a small envelope on top of an old leather wallet.

He emptied the content of the envelope, and found dog tags and a note. The note read:

I know they're not the originals, thought you might like them back nonetheless —Tony.

Picking up the tags, Bucky swiped his thumb over the stamped letters of his name. He placed them around his neck. But as he looked at the two identical tags, he realized that it just didn't feel right, and he took them off. Placing them gently with his uniform.

His attention turned to the old leather wallet. As he opened it, he found letters and pictures. Choosing to go through the pictures first, he gently pulled them out. Slowly flipping through them, Bucky's thumb would "swipe" over his family's faces saddly. His vision was becoming blurry, and when his eyes landed on the face of a beautiful army nurse the flood gates opened and Bucky let himself get swallowed up by the memories.

TBC in Book 2