Disclaimer : I do not own D.Gray-Man. Tell them Allen.

"Hai, hai." Allen sighed, "Sa-chan does not own D.Gray-Man. If she did, I would probably be dead."

Me : Nah, I won't kill you. I love you too much.

Sequel to Alexandra Sakura Walker

Mixed Emotions

"Allen-kun, dead?" It had been a day since we found out that Allen died but I just couldn't get over it. The other Exorcists were discussing how to get to Edo while I sat at the bottom of the stairs, lost in my thoughts. Finally, Lavi couldn't take my mood any longer. "What's the matter with you?!" He shouted, "He was our friend too. He would have wanted us to continue. Not mope around. He was our friend…" A single tear slid down my cheek as I fought back the urge to shout at him. Lenalee, seeing the tear, shot Lavi a murderous look before coming over to comfort me. She gave up on Allen already. It was just a crush but not in my case. I could hold it in no longer. I shouted at Lavi just as he shouted at me but several times louder. "He was your friend! He was everyone's friend! But he was not MY friend! You wanna know why?! I liked him more than just a friend! Like is not the word. I loved him! Lavi, I loved him! And you expect me to recover?! Never…" I shook my head violently and stormed up the stairs to my cabin, tears streaming down my pale face. Everyone stood still, more shocked than anything. I rarely raised my voice. People knew me as the female version of Allen and they weren't used to me shouting. But I didn't care. It hurt inside. And there was a gaping hole in my heart where Allen used to be.

I heard a knock on the door. It was Lenalee. I unlocked the door and let her enter. My pillow was wet and my white-blond hair was straggly. "Are you okay?" Lenalee cooed, "Do you feel better now? I'll keep you company if you want." I smiled at her (it was hard not to) and shook my head lightly. She smiled back. "Okay, go and shower. Then come for dinner okay?" I gave her a nod and tried to say something but nothing came out of my mouth. I was puzzled. I tried again but still I had the same results. Lenalee was looking at me, confused. I pointed at my mouth and shook my hands. Lenalee understood. "You can't talk? I'll take you to Bookman after you shower. He should know the problem." After saying that, Lenalee left the room deep in thoughts.

I took a shower and it helped to cool me down a little. I was puzzled that I could not speak anymore. How could it have happened? I slipped on my Exorcist coat. The very one that Allen said I looked good in. My eyes watered a little but I fought back my tears. Right now, every little thing reminded me of Allen. When I reached the room where everyone was, everyone stared at me and it became quiet. Indicating that they had just been talking about me. I shrugged (stop complaining, Alex is moody today). Bookman and Lavi both rushed over to me. While Bookman was observing me, Lavi whispered "I'm sorry" and held me in his arms. It was just like what Allen did after he shouted at me when he found out about my background. I pushed Lavi away and wrote down on a piece of paper that was nearby, "I'm sorry. Allen did the same thing you just did before." Lavi smiled sympathetically. "It seems like her emotions and shock caused her to become temporarily mute. I'm afraid unless something that makes up for all this appears, she will be mute forever." Bookman declared. Miranda, Krory and Anita started murmuring. They were all thinking the same thing – "Unless some miracle happens and Allen is alive, this girl will never speak again."

Lost Hope – The Akuma

"Where's that Lavi?" Bookman growled. It seemed that Lavi had gone up to the deck to get some fresh air. Suddenly, Miranda gave a jolt. "Someone just entered Time Recovery," Miranda started, "We've got company." Just then, the ship swayed and loud noises were heard. Everyone rushed onto deck. Lavi was sprawled on the ground face-down with a Level 3 akuma staring down at him. "Argh, I can't cleanse him. What a bad time to become mute." I thought. "Mistress Shiro." The akuma acknowledged me. I nodded curtly (what else was I supposed to do?). At that moment, Miranda's recovery jumped into place. Lavi's injuries healed and in no time, he was back onto his feet. "Ōzuchi Kozuchi Man Man Man." His size-shifting hammer increased in size until it was roughly as big as the ship. "Hi ban : Gouka Kaijin" An envelope of fire encased the ship but the akuma was unscathed. I quickly scribbled something down on a paper, "Lavi's wasting his strength. Those attacks don't work on a Level 3 akuma." I showed the paper to Lenalee. She mouthed the words 'ok' and told Lavi what I said (or wrote). A voice was heard. "Heavenly Compass : North Crime" It was Bookman (also known as Gramps and panda to Lavi)! I shook my head once more, knowing that it was a useless attack. The akuma gave an insane smile and grabbed Bookman by his teeth and headed towards the sky. "Gramps!" Lavi exclaimed. "Ōzuchi Kozuchi Shin" His hammer started to extend. I dashed forward and held him back. I shook my head once again and there were tears in my eyes. Again I scribbled as fast as I could. "Sorry I shouted at you. I've already lost Allen, I don't want to lose you. Besides, if you go to far from the ship, Time Recovery won't work for you and your injuries will return." Even after reading this, Lavi pushed me away and went in pursuit for Bookman.

Once again I had a flashback of Allen. This time, I saw him pushing me away when I tried to stop him from confronting Road. I ran back to my room, hair flying. Lenalee walked in just moments later, asking me if everything was alright. I smiled. If not for Lenalee, I would be very lost. So I wrote down my feelings and the flashback I had. She stroked my arm after reading and said, "I miss him too. I'm not in love with him anymore but he was still my friend. I know you feel much more pain than I do but try to be strong. For everyone. For Allen." I hesitated for awhile before letting Lenalee pull me onto deck.

Lavi was back, his injuries prevented him from going too high but he had Bookman in his arms. Suddenly, something hit the ship. As my Innocence was presumed to be the Heart, I was not allowed to fight. Other than me, there was no one else that could fight the akuma. Krory could only fight close-combat and Miranda's Innocence was not a fighting type. Beside me, Lenalee walked up. "I'll fight the akuma." She announced. I shook my head vigorously and hung onto her. Being two years younger than her, she treated me like her little sister. I sobbed silently onto her uniform and kept on shaking my head. "No… Lavi is seriously injured, Allen is dead. If Lenalee goes too, I – I…" I shook myself from my thoughts. Lenalee pulled me gently away from her, "I have to go, you should understand. I'll be back. I promise. Zettai daijobu da yo." She smiled at me one last time before activating her Dark Boots and flying off into the night.

The Journey

Lenalee had been gone for quite some time and I moaned every time she got hit. Being connected to everyone, I could feel their pain. I felt as if I couldn't breathe, as if my lungs were on fire. "Hang in there, Lena onee-sama." Just then, I felt a stab of pain on my left eye. It was a pain that could only mean that… Allen was alive! By that time, my body was bloodied and covered with bruises in the places Lenalee got injured. Suddenly, weird patterns appeared on my legs. I had no time to think about it. I scrawled down a note. "Felt Allen's pain, he's alive. At the Asian Branch. I'm going there to get help. Don't try to stop me." I quickly showed Lavi what I wrote and flew off with Winter Sokaro's wings before Lavi could say anything.

We weren't very far from China. Judging by the speed I was currently moving at, I would arrive there on about an hour. There were many times when I stopped, weak from all the pain. I faltered halfway through but I was determined to see Allen no matter what. As soon as I saw the bay, I sped up. Being connected since birth, I knew perfectly well where the Branch was located. I was numb from the wind and weak from the injuries and frost bites covered me from head to toe but I couldn't stop. I spotted the huge cave that led to the entrance not long after.

Inside the Branch…

"Barrier breach… Barrier breach…" An alarm sounded. Allen wondered who it was. His eye had stopped hurting by then. "Come on," Bak told him, "We got to get you out of here." Allen pressed a finger to his lips. Somehow, his instincts told him that it was not an akuma that was trying to enter. The alarm stopped. Whoever that wanted to get in was in. Ignoring Bak, Allen dashed towards the entrance. The first thing he saw was a body. Whose it was he did not know. Moving closer, a gasp escaped his throat. "Sakura!" He thought. Allen was the only person that called Alex 'Sakura' as he claimed it made her seem more feminine. He knelt over her body and wept. Hang on, her chest was moving. She was still alive! He rocked her gently in his arms, much like how she had once to him. Rou Fa was watching all this nearby with a look of jealousy on her face.

I opened my eyes and groaned. Bak was observing me. "So you're mute eh?" He said. The Order, having high technology, could keep up with the state of any Exorcist. I nodded. Just then, Allen walked in. "Allen-kun!" I exclaimed. I tried to say something else but nothing came out. Bak sighed, "It seems you aren't ready to talk yet. I guess you can only say Walker's name. Rou Fa, do some tests on her." Hearing the word 'test', my eyes widened. Seeing this, Allen laughed. "You haven't changed, have you?" I narrowed my eyes at him. He nearly choked when he saw my murderous expression. I laughed silently until I could not breathe. I smiled when Rou Fa came to do the tests. She returned my smile with a cold glare. Again Allen laughed. "Rou Fa, be gentle on her. If she complains, I'll come for you." Rou Fa turned white. I scribbled away again. "Don't scare her like that you meanie." I showed it to him, smiling. My smile indicated that I was joking. Allen sighed. "You're mute but you still joke." I punched him. For a girl, my punches were really strong. Allen grabbed the arm I punched his eyes tearing. I laughed yet again. Then I got serious. I wrote down the current situation. "When I left, Lenalee was fighting a Level 3 akuma and Lavi was seriously injured before Time Recovery took effect. We've got to help Lena-chan." I looked at him pleadingly. After reading, Allen said, "There aren't anymore Exorcists available. And you saw Timcanpy's memory didn't you? My Innocence was destroyed." I was crestfallen. "Um… Can I take the test?" Rou Fa asked, raising an arm as if she was in school. Allen nodded. "Allen-kun?" I called just as he was about to leave. When he turned back to see what the matter was, I patted the side of my bed, asking him to stay. He smiled.

Halfway through the test, I shrieked in pain. "Is it Lenalee? Has something happened?" I nodded, my face scrunched up with pain. The pain was unbearable, as if every fibre in me was on fire. I closed my eyes and tried to wish the pain away but it was too much. "Sa-chan? Sa-chan? Stay with me. Stay with me…" Allen's voice faded away as the intensity of the pain increased. Everything went black.

"No… Allen-kun, don't leave me. NO!"(Authoresses Note : She is still mute. These are her thoughts.) I sat up on the bed. The pain had passed and Allen was holding tightly onto my hand. My face turned a delightful shade of magenta. "Sa-chan, you're awake." Allen let go of my hand. My hand tingled in the area where he had been holding it. I nodded. My head pounded and I tried to remember what had happened but all I could remember was… Darkness. "Are you really okay?" Allen asked, "You look very pale." I nodded. Rou Fa gasped as the patterns on my legs started glowing. I grabbed the paper nearest to me. "Lenalee-chan has pushed her Innocence to maximum." Allen looked alarmed after reading. I looked down on the bed sheets and a small puddle of tears started to form. "Lena-chan…" I sobbed. "You talked!" Allen exclaimed. I tried again. Nothing. "Never mind." Allen mumbled. Just then, he spotted the puddle. His expression softened. "Don't cry, we'll get through this together, kay? Onii-chan will be right here beside you." He lifted my head up with his hand and wiped my tears away with the other. "Smile." He said, "For me." The corners of my mouth lifted up slowly. "That's better." Allen sighed. Suddenly, a low gurgle was heard. I was starving. I turned to Allen with puppy-dog eyes. He shielded himself from my eyes. "Okay! I'll get the food don't look at me with the puppy-dog eye!" I smirked. "Allen-kun," I said and then flashed a smile to say thanks. Rou Fa did not seem very pleased at our actions and she was making no effort to hide her displeasure. Rikkei, noticing Rou Fa's facial expression, grunted. "Oh come on, you're jealous? Look at that girl she's just a kid." I scribbled away once again. Allen's eye scanned the paper. "Sa-chan says she's not a kid, she's 14. And I'm only 15. AND she can take care of herself just fine." Rikkei looked as if he was ready to eat his words in order to avoid the wrath of Allen Walker. He had seen Allen training with Fou before and he was not too keen to be a guinea pig.