Authors Note: Italics are the characters writing in their letters. I hope you enjoy, if people let me know they like it I'll write the next chapter.

Julia sighed and looked at the clock, half past six; it had been a long day. Putting the finishing touch to her report she dropped her pen on the desk and rubbed her hands over her face. She could hardly believe she was back in this morgue doing a job she'd run away from just a few months before. She could hear herself saying 'my hands heal no one' but that wasn't the main reason she'd left, the job was quite exciting even if a little grim. No, the main reason she'd left was to get away from Detective Murdoch. She had come to realise she could never make him happy and knowing how she felt about him, leaving had been the only way to end the relationship. Now here she was lured back into the job by the very man she'd left it for, she sighed again and resting her elbows on the desk hid her face in her hands. She knew it would be impossible to let him go if she was near him, already she was finding the cases interesting, his company exhilarating. Why had she agreed to come back she asked herself for the hundredth time.

She'd written to her sister, the only person she could really trust with such matters, and explained the difficulties she was having, how she was beginning to doubt whether she could remain faithful to Darcy. She had not however mentioned the fantasies she'd started to have whenever Murdoch came to the morgue. All it would take was for him to stand a little too close, or to brush her fingers as he handed her a file or a vial and her mind would wander off into private moments of intimacy, leaving her dazed and slightly breathless as she was brought crashing back to reality by a question or a sound.

She prayed he'd never noticed, which would seem unlikely with his powers of observation if it weren't for the fact that he seemed quite distracted himself. She never let her mind linger on this fact too long, it was too dangerous. Ruby had written back and suggested, throwing all caution to the wind, that Julia do something about her feelings and let Murdoch worry about his own happiness. But Julia didn't feel she could do this, partly because she'd messed him around and partly because it would be so unfair to Darcy. To this, with slight resignation, Ruby had suggested that Julia write down all the things in her head that were driving her mad, all the things she wanted to say, all the actions she couldn't take, and that this would hopefully get them off her chest, she could even burn it afterwards if she wanted.

Julia had considered her sister's suggestion for several days but had resisted, having the sensation that the words would somehow make her feelings more tangible. She had opted instead to give her initial plan of denial a little longer, hoping against hope that maybe it would work at some point. Finally however, after a particularly indecent daydream earlier, she was willing to give anything a go. She opened the draw and took out a fresh sheet of paper and picked up her pen.

Dearest William

She looked at it on the paper for a minute then scratched a line through it.

No point addressing this, it's just supposed to free my subconscious, like venting a spleen.

She laughed to herself, then thinking back to all the times they'd stood together in this morgue, her making some joke or pun, him looking at her blank faced, she decided to add the little comment

That's a joke Detective

She smiled to herself. After a moment she resigned herself to being a bit more serious.

The truth is you're driving me mad. Surely you understand I had to leave to free you. You want something I can never give you and I fear being this close to you I will never let you go.

Julia sat back, pausing for a moment, staring at her reflection in the glass between her desk and main room. There were so many memories of William, some that made her heart skip, some that made it wrench.

I'll never forget the time you were demonstrating your lie detector. Constable Higgins asking if you were in love. My heart practically stopped. I saw your eyes darting between my face and that blue liquid spiralling up. My heart caught desperately between hoping it was true and terrified it meant you loved someone else and hadn't wanted me to know. How sweet your stricken face.

But then I also remember you once asked me, in this Darwinian race, what hope do men who live inside their mind have. I thought of that as I watched you shrewdly push Darcy into letting me return to work here. So cunning William, I wish I knew your motives sometimes.

And then I remember you telling me that God gives us desire to test our resolve. How cross I was with you then, how cross I am with you now. I am sure you are God's star pupil when it comes to resolve, if I didn't know better I'd think you were cold. But I do know better, I have felt your heat, haven't I? Flickering beneath the surface. What I wouldn't give to be burned by it and just forget the bible for a minute. Even though I'm writing this I wouldn't dare write the things I resolve to do to you some days. I swear if I stay here much longer my resolve will wear away and no doubt I will shame myself in yours and God's eyes both.

Being away from you was like the numbness of a tourniquet around my heart and being back here beside you but not with you is the worst pins and needles.

I swear I will drown in desire, for your words, and your lips and your tender hand movements. Honestly, what do you do to me?

Julia dropped the pen again and sighed, she supposed she did feel a bit better but would it last? She stood wearily, picking up the letter she scrunched it into a tight ball and tossed it into her empty waste bin. Walking through to the main room she lit a Bunsen burner lit a strip of wood then walked back and lit the letter in the bin. She felt calm as she watched it burn and decided it was time to head home and have a relaxing bath. Gathering her things she switched off the light and left the morgue.

Murdoch was hurrying over to the morgue, it had been a long day and after a great deal of contemplation he thought he might finally have cracked the case but he would need to check Julia's report. Dr Ogden's report, he mentally corrected himself. He could not continue to think of her as Julia now she was engaged to another man. He resisted all urges to think about that any further, forcing his mind back to the case. He hoped the doctor was still at the morgue, it was late but sometimes she stayed to finish up.

He'd found it difficult not to come by all the time just to look at her, to remind himself that she was near again. But in the end he had forced himself to stay away, mostly for his own sanity, being close to her now made him as giddy as when he first realised his feelings for her, except now it was worse, now he knew how sweet those lips would taste.

As he entered the morgue in darkness he realised he must have missed her but he couldn't help calling out just in case, "Julia?" No reply came but he smelled the distinct scent of burning paper, which he followed to her desk. He was starting to feel concerned when he noticed the smouldering ashes in the bin. Simultaneously, from the corner of his eye, he noticed the report he had come for, she must have left it out. Smiling to himself he picked it up and headed back out of the morgue to his office where he could settle in to read it without interruption.

Back in his office he removed his jacket and placed the file on his desk. As he walked around the desk to his chair he flicked on the lamp. It was then that he noticed it, from his standing position, in the dim light; there was a distinct impression on the report. He could clearly see the words 'Dearest William' crossed out.

Tbc….