post-mortem
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal." -A headstone in Ireland
He doesn't know how long it's been.
(minuteshoursdaysweeks)
Too long.
(and damn it all, wasn't a second without her too long?)
He sits.
He waits.
He sees it happen,
overandoverandoveragain
and he watches.
(he can't change it anymore.)
.
.
.
.
.
.
He says her name.
(answerdammitpleaseanswer)
Her eyes are wide.
Unseeing.
Glassy.
(whythehellwouldshedothat)
She saved his life.
She just saved his damned life.
By letting them take hers.
He will personally rip them apart.
They killed her.
They killed her.
(butitcan'tbetrue)
Can it?
.
.
.
.
.
.
There's someone knocking.
"Go away."
His voice is hollow.
(he'sneverbeenahollowpersonbefore)
"Clyde."
He doesn't answer.
The door opens.
She sits down next to him tentatively.
He doesn't move.
(whyshouldhecare?canyoutellhimthat?)
"I can't pretend I knew her well."
(damnright)
"But... I liked her when I met her."
(shesaysitlikeit'spossibletonotlikeher)
"I'm sorry."
Everybody has a breaking point.
(twotinyinconsequentiallittlewordsformhis)
"Shut up."
She doesn't stop.
"Think for a minute."
"I said, shut up."
"I know I didn't know her well."
"And you won't so shut the hell up."
"What if she were alive?"
"We can't waste away on the what-ifs."
"Then what are you doing?"
(hestopscold)
She's right.
"I love her."
His voice is hollow again.
(maybehewasn'thollowbefore,butthatwasbeforehisheartbroke)
"I think she loved you too."
He can't answer.
It's too much to hope for.
"That's why she saved your life."
(she'sright)
.
.
.
.
.
.
He says her name.
The one who's alive.
The one who he wishes was her.
She looks at him.
"What were you saying... about if she were alive?"
Her face breaks into a luminous smile.
(hepretendstoforgetthatshe'scrying)
"She would never want to see you like that."
She's right again.
.
.
.
.
.
.
He doesn't go to her funeral.
He thinks that the shattered bitsandpieces that used to be him would hurt someone.
Instead, he waits it out.
He waits for her parents to leave.
Friends.
Distant cousins who care less than him.
The only three people who missed him being there.
One of them sees him in the trees.
She smiles.
He can't smile back.
She understands.
She leaves without a word.
Leaves him with what's left of her.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Hey."
He scuffs his toe backandforthandbackandforth on the ground.
"How're you..."
The stupid question falls from his lips.
"I love you, you know."
(n o t h i n g)
"You love me too, don't you."
It's not a question.
(it'safact)
"I miss you."
No answer.
"I'll never forget you, you know."
Still nothing.
"But I'll move on. You don't want me to be so... mopey."
He smiles at the word.
(hemeanttosayheartbroken)
"I'll visit, I promise."
He leans down and kisses her headstone.
He stands upright.
"Bye, Rani."
All right. Uh, I love Clyde/Rani, and since I love them, I had to write some angst where one of them dies. I left Rani's death vague because that way you can sort of imagine it. The girl who talks to Clyde is Maria, in case you didn't figure that. I know it was a little swear-y at the beginning, but that's what heartbreak does to some people. I'll definitely write more SJA in the future, this was really fun. If you have a request, you can tell me! I need to write some fluff to balance the universe, so just please review. BYE!