"Elphaba is dead," I say the words aloud because I still can't believe them. I watched her die, but it still isn't true to me. This was not supposed to happen. The heroine never dies. The villain doesn't win. It is not supposed to happen this way.
I look toward the West. I cannot see Kiamo Ko from the Emerald Palace, but I pretend I can. It was dark and dreary out, as if the earth was mourning her as well. Not as well. I was the only one mourning her.
She failed. She lost. Everything she attempted is gone. I still can't understand how she can simply be dead. Surely, a few hours from now, I will wake up from this horrible nightmare, and she will be there, in her bed. Back at Shiz, where we were both innocent. Where the lines of good and bad were clearly drawn and I did not have to think about doing the right thing because in the end no real harm was done if I made the wrong choice. I am in a dream, and when I awaken Elphaba will be alive.
I know I am fooling myself. I know Elphaba is dead. And not just her. Nessarose and sweet Fiyero. They are gone too. Nessarose, whose blood is really on my hands. Morrible never would have sent for the cyclone had I not given her the idea. And Fiyero... if I hadn't had the petty fight with Elphaba he would not have needed to rescue her, and then die for her.
She lost. I cannot get over that. Not only is she dead, she lost. She did not overthrow the Wizard. She did not save Doctor Dillamond.
But then a voice in the back of my head goes: she did. She may have died hated, but she did not loose. The Wizard was out of power. Morrible was in prison. The Animals' Rights were slowly being restored. That was all she had ever wanted, anyway. She didn't care about herself. She wouldn't have minded death, not as long as her goals were accomplished.
The sun is rising in the east, casting light over Oz, even in the darkness of the West. Soon it will be a bright, sunny day. Elphaba Thropp is dead, but I am not. Oz still needs to move forward, and I am the one to push it forward. It is not for me. It is for her memory more than anything else. It is for the ignorant people she helped save.
Elphaba is dead, and only now do I begin to accept it.