No Words
AN: Hiyas! This is just another lil one-hit thingy... It came to me while I was chatting with Tams, so I am thanking her for the inspiration, though she probably doesn't know she gave it! Anyway, thank you to Tamra Chandler for unknowingly giving me inspiration! ^_^
Amelia walked slowly down the hallway. She stepped softly so her bare feet wouldn't make to much noise on the stone floor. She hid most of the light of her light spell from view with a hand, and kept it very dim-- just enough to let her see where she was going.
She didn't even know why she was going where she was going. She had been going to this same place for three nights in a row-- tonight would be her fourth. She felt incredibly foolish, and felt like an intruder when she went there. But she couldn't help herself. She had to go there.
Quietly, Amelia turned another corner, and found herself in the hallway that led to where she was going. As silently as she could she stepped down the hallway, the edge of her night dress swirling around her knees. She unconsciously dimmed the light spell even more. She didn't want to be found, and where she was going wasn't the only room down this hallway.
When she reached the large wooden door --gold-trimmed, like all the others-- she hesitated. She always did. Then, carefully, she reached out, and gripped the cold metal of the doorknob. She dimmed the light spell so it was barely visible-- just barely enough for her to see what she was doing. Then, quietly, she turned the knob.
When the tumbler inside the door fell, she winced. She did the other times as well. That was one of the only sounds she ever heard at night when she went out like this. In the otherwise silent hallways, it seemed deafeningly loud. As she had before, she paused, to make sure the seemingly loud noise hadn't wakened anybody.
Slowly, carefully, Amelia opened the door. She sighed inwardly when the door didn't squeak. She almost relaxed, but then she realized that she was in the room, and she tensed up again. Inside, it wasn't stone on the floor, it was thick carpet, which made her light steps even quieter.
Step by step, Amelia made her way across the floor. Her heart was pounding in her chest with her nerves. She was very edgy, and jumped every time she stepped too loudly. She felt like she was intruding, that she shouldn't be there. She knew she shouldn't be there-- she should be asleep in her own room, not sneaking around the palace after midnight in her night dress.
But she also felt like she should be there. So, she silently crossed the room, to where she knew the bed was. She heart started pounding even louder and faster, and she almost feared that the noise her heart was making would wake everyone in the palace.
She knew that was foolish, but still, she slowed her pace to barely more than a crawl, and didn't even chance lifting her feet-- instead, she shuffled her feet along the carpet to as not to make so much noise.
Finally, she was at the bed. The light spell dimmed even more, to a point where it was just a tiny dot, sparkling like a star in the pure dark room. Carefully, Amelia looked down at the person sleeping in the bed, and smiled.
She could just barely see his face in the dim light, but she knew that he was fast asleep. As soon as she saw his face, every inch of her relaxed, and her heart settled down. Her nerves went away, and she was all calm.
He always had that effect on her. She would instantly feel calm, better about herself, whenever he looked at her. She felt like flying on those rare occasions that he smiled at her.
Amelia got down on her knees to be on a more even level with his face-- now she was looking up at him. Despite what he always said, she found him extremely handsome, and liked him just fine the way he was. He didn't have to change at all just for her. She would be happy if he stayed the way he was forever.
Except, of course, he would have to listen to his own feelings.
Amelia knew that he cared for her-- maybe even more than that --but he would never admit it, not even to himself. She, on the other hand, had admitted it to herself, but would always deny it out loud. She almost sighed, but then caught herself, remembering where she was. She just wished he would realize that she cared about him the way he was-- he didn't have to change.
And the others liked him just fine the way he was, too. They didn't want him to change, either. He didn't realize how lucky he was to have such loyal friends to stand with him always, who didn't judge him by the way he looked or acted, rather by who he was. She had grown to know and care for--
Admit it, Amelia! she thought to herself. If not to anyone else, then at least think it in your mind!
She had grown to know and love that person inside, underneath the gruff, seemingly careless facade. Inside, he was a kind and caring person. Amelia truly wished-- hoped --that he felt the same way about her that she did about him, but she could never be sure.
Why not? Because she didn't have the courage to ask him, and he didn't even admit it to himself. If he didn't admit it to himself, how could he admit it to her?
Amelia shook away her thoughts, and decided to just sit there and watch him sleep. She didn't want to think about all of that right now. This was one of the few times she could ever be alone with him, even if she couldn't talk with him, or even see him smile at her.
Suddenly, one of Zelgadis's eyes opened, and glared right at her. Amelia gasped, and jumped up. Before Zelgadis could fully wake up, Amelia was on her feet, and running out the door.
Zelgadis cursed, and threw his blankets off. He looked simply dashing in yellow pajamas with green stars printed all over them. Frustrated, he ran out the door, and after Amelia, following the dim point of light that was her light spell.
What was that fool princess doing in his room well past midnight? She had just been staring at him! Staring! He had thought she would have gotten used to the way he looked by now. Perhaps he was wrong. Perhaps he was wrong about everything. Maybe Amelia really didn't see through his stone skin like he thought she did. She probably just thought him a freak, like everyone else.
He saw the dot of light turn down a corner much faster, and he chased after it. The light was now hovering in the middle of the hallway. Zelgadis ran over to it, ready to interrogate Amelia as mush as was needed, and demand why she was sneaking around his room.
All he found was a hovering light spell.
Cursing, Zelgadis took off in the opposite direction. Amelia had thrown her light spell down the hallway to trick him into going that way! What was with that girl? Was she crazy? And why had she been in his room? Staring.
Ahead of him, he saw a door close from the inside. He knew that door to be the one leading to Amelia's room. Putting out an extra burst of speed, he reached the door just seconds after it had closed. Without a second thought, he opened the door and charged in.
Amelia was sitting on her bed, curled up in the corner. She was biting her lip, and her eyes were wide. Her legs were drawn up to her chest, and her chin was resting on her knees. Her bare arms were wrapped around her legs, so she was in a very protective position. In her position, her normally knee-length night dress was hiked up to mid-thigh.
After getting himself undistracted from the height of Amelia's night dress, he glared at her. He stalked across the room slowly, and got as close to her as he could without touching the bed. "What were you doing in my room?" he asked. He spoke in a harsh whisper, because everyone in the palace was still asleep.
Amelia backed up a tiny bit more, and said, "Um... I... I just..." Her voice was quiet, and trembled slightly.
Then Zelgadis realized that she was afraid. Of him? He realized that she had reason to be. He was glaring at her with a ferocity he had never shown her before, and breathing deeply as he was from the running probably made him seem frightening.
Add that to his face, and you've got downright scary. And the darkness didn't do anything to make his face look less imposing.
Self-consciously, Zelgadis dropped his glare, but not his gaze. "I'll ask you again," he said, a little less harshly this time. "What were you doing in my room?"
Amelia looked down at her knees. She realized that how tightly she was hugging herself, it was cutting off the circulation to her arms and legs, and they were feeling all tingly. She carefully let off her grip a bit, and tried to relax.
But she couldn't.
Zelgadis was angry with her for sneaking into his room. She knew she shouldn't have. She had known somehow that she would get caught eventually. But, still... She also felt that she just had to see him. It was one of the only times she could be alone with him.
But she was alone with him now.
Even if he was angry with her.
"I-- I'm sorry," she said quietly. She didn't dare look up at him. She knew he was very angry, and she didn't feel like looking into his hard eyes right then. They made her feel uncomfortable. He had never looked at her like that before. Why was he so angry? She hadn't done anything very wrong-- had she?
She felt the bed shift, and she looked up. Zelgadis was sitting on the edge of her bed, looking at her. The hardness in his eyes was gone, even if he still didn't look pleased. She bit her lip again, and looked down at the overstuffed quilt on her bed.
Zelgadis looked over at Amelia and frowned. She was still afraid? Sighing, he said, "Amelia, listen..." Slowly, Amelia's head tilted up, and she looked at him with wide eyes. "I'm not angry with you," he told her. "It's just... I would like to know why you were sneaking around my room so late at night?"
Amelia's eyes dropped again. So he wasn't angry. But he still didn't look pleased, either. Slowly, she let go of her legs, and stretched them out. She wasn't even aware that her night dress was hiked up to her thigh, or that one strap had slipped off her shoulder and now hung loosely on her arm.
Zelgadis noticed, however. He forced himself to look away, to look at her face, and not any lower. He felt tense whenever he was around Amelia for some reason. Somehow, he forced himself to relax, muscle by muscle, inch by inch, as he waited for a response from Amelia.
After taking a deep breath, Amelia looked up at him. She found him looking straight back at her, and now all traces of anger were gone. There was a hint of irritability in his eyes, but other than that, they were calm. They helped to relax her, too, and she scooted a little bit to sit next to Zelgadis, thought about halfway across the bed. "The thing is, I... I just..." she started, but she didn't have the courage to say what she wanted. How would he react when she told him she had gone in there just to watch him sleep? What would he say? What would he do?
Zelgadis shifted a little, feeling slightly uncomfortable with Amelia so close to him. She was still out of hand's reach, but now she was on the same level with him, directly next to him, and he felt tense again. This time he couldn't make himself relax. He waited impatiently for Amelia's answer so he could go back to bed.
As he stared at her face, he caught himself almost smiling. But he quickly forced it away, replacing it with his usual stoic face. But he couldn't keep the smile from him eyes.
Amelia prepared herself to say what she wanted to say. She looked up at Zelgadis again, ready to say something to his cool, calm eyes. But then she stopped. His eyes were no longer indifferent, even though his face was. His eyes were smiling.
But hadn't he been so angry just moments ago? Yes, she was sure he had been! So why the sudden change of attitude?
Without consciously realizing it, Amelia slid across the bed closer to Zelgadis. She had to steady herself again, prepare to talk to smiling eyes, not calm eyes. It was a different matter completely, talking to a smiling person.
Her daddy had taught her that you could judge a person by their eyes. She had never really understood what he had meant until she met Zelgadis. He usually wore a mask of calm indifference, tolerance, stoicism. But his eyes always belied his calm demeanor. His eyes wore smiles his face wouldn't. His eyes held tears that wouldn't fall.
And now his eyes were smiling, even if his face was not. She didn't know whether that made it harder or easier to talk to him.
Zelgadis fidgeted when Amelia scooted closer. He truly wanted to get away from there. His heart was pounding, though he didn't know why, and his eyes and thoughts constantly drifted. He wished Amelia would look at him so he could focus on her eyes. He wished she would give him an answer so he could leave. He wished...
Then Amelia looked up at him, her eyes ready and sure. His eyes locked on her own, and drifted no more. Her eyes were hypnotizing, a bright blue that he had never seen anywhere else. There was nothing to compare those bright eyes to. Then those eyes widened in surprise.
Amelia stared. Somehow, without her knowing it, she had moved so she was almost right next to Zelgadis. How-- When --had that happened? She looked up at him again, and found her words lost. She could only stare at him-- into his eyes.
Without her consent, her hand lifted off the bed, and reached for Zelgadis's face. She didn't touch him, but her hand traveled down the side of his face. Then, carefully, her fingertips touched his cool cheek.
Zelgadis turned away sharply. "What are you doing?" he asked quietly.
Amelia bit her lip again, and said, "I'm sorry." Her hand quickly came down into her lap, where it was instantly covered with the other.
Zelgadis frowned inside, but kept his stoic demeanor outside. He hadn't actually wanted Amelia to stop what she was doing-- did he? Then why had he turned away?
"Amelia, listen to me," he said slowly. Again, Amelia's bright blue eyes met his. He stared for a moment, before he went on. "I think... I think I know what you're doing, and, it can't work. I mean, you're a princess... Perfect in every way..." He waved his hand helplessly at her. He wasn't even sure what he meant by what he was saying. "And... I'm a freak."
Amelia looked up at him, her eyes now sad. "No you aren't!" she said vehemently, but still quietly. "Zelgadis-san, now it's your turn to listen to me." She had to put every inch of feeling she had into this speech. She had to get him to see things the way they were. "Nobody here cares about the way you look. Lina-san doesn't, Gourry-san doesn't, my daddy doesn't... And I don't. We call see you for who you really are, Zelgadis-san! And you are not a freak!"
Zelgadis stared down at her. He tried to deny what she was saying, deny the fact that he wasn't a freak, that people did care about who he was. But he couldn't. He saw the truth of her words, saw it in everything Lina, Gourry, Phil, everyone did. And what she did. She saw through him as if he were made of glass, not stone.
Amelia smiled when at last comprehension dawned on Zelgadis. His eyes and face both reflected the understanding he finally came upon. Again, her hand went up against her wishes, and touched Zelgadis's cheek. The stone of his skin was cool beneath her fingers. Cautiously, Amelia laid her hand fully against his face.
Zelgadis looked down at her in shock and awe. How could such a young girl see through him like that? See right to his core-- his heart --and judge him from inside, not outside? And how could she have such feelings?
Wait! Feelings? Who said anything about feelings here? She never said anything!
Yes, she did. In what she just told him, in what she was doing, in what she had done the entire time he had known her. She cared for him deeply, he knew that. He was also beginning to think that he might feel the same way.
Deep inside, further than he had ever thought existed, he knew that he cared for Amelia like she did him. Heck, care? How about love!
Love? Did he truly love her? Looking down into her deep, bright blue eyes. Eyes that had seen too much for their young age. Eyes that reflected everything Amelia was thinking or feeling. Those eyes that were, at the moment, filled with a caring-- a love --that Zelgadis felt mirrored his own feelings. Yes, looking into those eyes, he knew he did love her.
He didn't say a thing. Imitating Amelia, he brought his hand up, and over her face without touching her, before finally resting on her cheek.
Amelia's eyes sparkled with this unfamiliar touch. Her heart pounded in her chest, and her nerves were wired, but she didn't care. Zelgadis had finally admitted to himself that he cared about her-- she could see it in his eyes.
And that meant that she could now tell him.
"Zelgadis-san," she said, whispering.
Zelgadis looked down at her. Her eyes said everything she wanted to say. No words were needed at the moment to tell him how she felt. And he knew that the very same expression was looking out from his eyes.
Slowly, he leaned forward to kiss Amelia. He did so carefully, in case Amelia didn't want to-- in case she wanted to back away. But she didn't. His lips touched hers softly.
Amelia closed her eyes, and wrapped her arms around Zelgadis's neck. His other hand came up to the other side of her face, his hands cool against her flushed cheeks. As she kissed him, she thought, It tastes like kissing a warm rock. She giggled at the thought, spoiling the kiss and the romantic feel of the moment.
"What's so funny?" Zelgadis asked, moving his hands to her shoulders.
Amelia smiled up at him, and said nothing. Her arms, still around his neck, pulled him down again for another kiss.
Zelgadis had his own thoughts about what Amelia's kiss tasted like. Sweet. And she had an air of innocence wrapped around her. He realized then that Amelia loved him, and he loved her. She saw beyond his cold, hard stone, and had found a warm spot in his heart. Smiling around the kiss, he thought that he would like to keep Amelia in his heart forever.