Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation or any of it's characters. Don't sue. I have no money. Christmas has made me broke.
Author: Rebirth Dream
Email: evanescent_dreams@hotmail.com
Rating: PG
Series: Gravitation
Couple: Shindou Shuichi and Eiri Yuki
Summary: A return to where life starts and ends, Yuki returns to his lover.
Title: In the midsts of Dreams.
++++++
So many years had passed by, and still, I returned to this desolate place filled with nothing but grey stone. Did you miss me, Shuichi? I'm sorry I've been away for so long. I dedicated my latest book to you. But nobody knows that except for me. Just like nobody will ever understand how precious you were to me in every aspect of my life.
It was so like you, to just up and leave me. Like I had told you so many times, you never thought about anybody except yourself. So selfish. Or were you only like that with me?
Looking out at Tokyo, there seemed to be something missing this winter. The snow. Every year, you would fall back into the soft white of the ground and continue to make a mess of yourself. Always urging me to follow, and me, always turning away without a second glance. It hasn't snowed this year, Shuichi. Rain, instead, had taken the place of your beloved yuki.
I still stood outside my apartment on the odd occassion, looking out onto the driveway, as if expecting you to appear in front of me and cry because only the rain would grace the earth. And so many times, I would shed tears for your absence, for your life that I took for granted so much. The raindrops would mingle with my sorrow, until I could no longer tell whether it was me crying, or simply the winter holding me in its arms so lovingly. I would fall to the ground and weep, and scream, until my voice disappeared. This pain made me realise I was alive, achingly alive.
I dropped the roses by your grave and left.
It was you, who first stopped me, when I tried to take away the breath from my own lungs. My reasoning was that now without you, there was no more need. But I wasn't ready to say goodbye yet, Shuichi. Not yet. I couldn't desecrate your memory with my blood, I couldn't commit something that would have made you mourn. Though.. could you really mourn for me, sitting in whatever place you are in now?
But it doesn't matter now. I'm beginning to fade. The memories I had held so dear to me once are beginning to fade, the place where we had shared our lives, sometimes I can no longer see. Life eluded me and I was in no rush to find it either. In the midst of the night, through the darkness, a faint light whispered to me, and the only image I found was the remnants of you, smiling to me, laughing and holding out your hand. And every time I reached for you, your face would blur. Everything was vanishing slowly, into that light which haunted me, that same light which slipped you from my hold so long ago. It's searched for me and years ago I might have hidden, but there was no reason to, there was no need for me to stay in a world without you.
Where do humans come from? And where do they go? My dearest one, only you, are missing.
******
Sleep again found no place in me, and I simply lay here. It was getting harder to breathe with each sip of air I took. "Cigerettes are bad for you, Yuki", you would always say, and yet I never listened. It was always like slow suicide for me, taking a life that I never asked for away, and now, it just seemed a quicker path that would lead to you. I walked out to the balcony, slowly drowning myself in the heavy rain that kissed my body. Looking out towards the vast sky, it seemed an eternity, as I slid down the jagged body of the apartment building, finally to seat myself on the rough concrete below.
That faint light called to me again, as it did every night, your smiling, beautiful face once more taunted me with its nearness, its likeliness to reality, and awrm arms embraced me.
"Yuki, it's okay. You're just a little afraid, just still in mourning."
A semblance of a smile tugged the corner of my lips, and a drifting warmth befell my soul. The need for air, for breath was beginning to die, and I closed my eyes, listening to the sound of your voice, lulling me to sleep, promises that we would meet in our dreams again. I let my hands fall to the ground, surprised that they were even in the air. But instinctively, they had reached to find your body, to find your warmth and hold onto it. It was like being born again, and each day we had spent together was clearly etched in my mind. And I finally understood that I could never forget. Every night that you spent by my side and saved my breaking soul, I would never be able to forget.
Shuichi, even if the world should end, I will come to find you.
In our dreams, we will surely meet again.
++++++
Author's Notes : Although I was told I shouldn't write how crap I think my own writing is.. this one was below my normal standard, so please forgive me. I wrote the sequel to "Reminiscence" because Ksya-chan asked me to. Whether or not she was completely serious, I'm not sure, but here it is!
Author: Rebirth Dream
Email: evanescent_dreams@hotmail.com
Rating: PG
Series: Gravitation
Couple: Shindou Shuichi and Eiri Yuki
Summary: A return to where life starts and ends, Yuki returns to his lover.
Title: In the midsts of Dreams.
++++++
So many years had passed by, and still, I returned to this desolate place filled with nothing but grey stone. Did you miss me, Shuichi? I'm sorry I've been away for so long. I dedicated my latest book to you. But nobody knows that except for me. Just like nobody will ever understand how precious you were to me in every aspect of my life.
It was so like you, to just up and leave me. Like I had told you so many times, you never thought about anybody except yourself. So selfish. Or were you only like that with me?
Looking out at Tokyo, there seemed to be something missing this winter. The snow. Every year, you would fall back into the soft white of the ground and continue to make a mess of yourself. Always urging me to follow, and me, always turning away without a second glance. It hasn't snowed this year, Shuichi. Rain, instead, had taken the place of your beloved yuki.
I still stood outside my apartment on the odd occassion, looking out onto the driveway, as if expecting you to appear in front of me and cry because only the rain would grace the earth. And so many times, I would shed tears for your absence, for your life that I took for granted so much. The raindrops would mingle with my sorrow, until I could no longer tell whether it was me crying, or simply the winter holding me in its arms so lovingly. I would fall to the ground and weep, and scream, until my voice disappeared. This pain made me realise I was alive, achingly alive.
I dropped the roses by your grave and left.
It was you, who first stopped me, when I tried to take away the breath from my own lungs. My reasoning was that now without you, there was no more need. But I wasn't ready to say goodbye yet, Shuichi. Not yet. I couldn't desecrate your memory with my blood, I couldn't commit something that would have made you mourn. Though.. could you really mourn for me, sitting in whatever place you are in now?
But it doesn't matter now. I'm beginning to fade. The memories I had held so dear to me once are beginning to fade, the place where we had shared our lives, sometimes I can no longer see. Life eluded me and I was in no rush to find it either. In the midst of the night, through the darkness, a faint light whispered to me, and the only image I found was the remnants of you, smiling to me, laughing and holding out your hand. And every time I reached for you, your face would blur. Everything was vanishing slowly, into that light which haunted me, that same light which slipped you from my hold so long ago. It's searched for me and years ago I might have hidden, but there was no reason to, there was no need for me to stay in a world without you.
Where do humans come from? And where do they go? My dearest one, only you, are missing.
******
Sleep again found no place in me, and I simply lay here. It was getting harder to breathe with each sip of air I took. "Cigerettes are bad for you, Yuki", you would always say, and yet I never listened. It was always like slow suicide for me, taking a life that I never asked for away, and now, it just seemed a quicker path that would lead to you. I walked out to the balcony, slowly drowning myself in the heavy rain that kissed my body. Looking out towards the vast sky, it seemed an eternity, as I slid down the jagged body of the apartment building, finally to seat myself on the rough concrete below.
That faint light called to me again, as it did every night, your smiling, beautiful face once more taunted me with its nearness, its likeliness to reality, and awrm arms embraced me.
"Yuki, it's okay. You're just a little afraid, just still in mourning."
A semblance of a smile tugged the corner of my lips, and a drifting warmth befell my soul. The need for air, for breath was beginning to die, and I closed my eyes, listening to the sound of your voice, lulling me to sleep, promises that we would meet in our dreams again. I let my hands fall to the ground, surprised that they were even in the air. But instinctively, they had reached to find your body, to find your warmth and hold onto it. It was like being born again, and each day we had spent together was clearly etched in my mind. And I finally understood that I could never forget. Every night that you spent by my side and saved my breaking soul, I would never be able to forget.
Shuichi, even if the world should end, I will come to find you.
In our dreams, we will surely meet again.
++++++
Author's Notes : Although I was told I shouldn't write how crap I think my own writing is.. this one was below my normal standard, so please forgive me. I wrote the sequel to "Reminiscence" because Ksya-chan asked me to. Whether or not she was completely serious, I'm not sure, but here it is!