AN: I swear, I started to cry when I just came up with the idea for this story. I kind of hope this makes you cry. Any way I feel really bad for putting my babies through this horrible tragedy. I however, couldn't help myself. I needed something, and I really wanted to try my hand at tragedy. So let's see how this goes. Please review it keeps me going!
Disclaimer: I sadly own nothing.
I wish I was cold as stone,
Then I wouldn't feel a thing.
I wish I didn't have this heart,
Then I wouldn't know the sting of the rain.
I could stand on my own
Letting your memory fade
I wouldn't hurt like this,
Or feel so all alone.
I wish I was cold as stone.
-Lady Antebellum "Cold as Stone"
Maya's fingers trembled as her hand flew to the small object on the counter. She couldn't believe she was doing this. Quickly, she flipped the object over in fear. She looked at the results, and her stomach dropped. The pregnancy test fell to the floor with a clatter as she regained her bearings. Her hands went to her mouth and stomach while she bent down to retrieve the small object holding her fate.
Maya didn't know what else to do, so of course she started to cry. How could she take care of a baby? She was 18 and in her final year of high school. And the baby's father… Oh, how was she going to break the news to Josh? Maya then began to cry even harder at the thought of Josh leaving her. That was of course what he would do, but Maya had to tell him anyway.
Quickly, the now adult stuffed the horrible stick into her purse, and texted her boyfriend of four months. They had finally started dating when Maya was legal, and they were still going on strong. However, they probably wouldn't be happening after Maya dropped this bombshell on him.
Josh had replied telling her to meet him at Topanga's, which Maya happily agreed to. At least they would be in public so Josh wouldn't make too much of a fuss. The blonde woman did a once over of herself then fled from the stuffy bathroom. She texted her mom and stepdad in case they returned and she wasn't home, and headed for the café.
Maya slowly made it to the glass doors of her best friend's parent's café. She contemplated turning and heading back up the stairs she had just descended, but Josh had spotted her through the doors of said café and beckoned her forward. Maya took tiny steps as she tried to calm her breathing. By the time she reached Josh, she had finally suppressed the need to throw up, though now she wasn't sure if it was nerves or morning sickness.
"Hey babe." Josh greeted her happily. The man had been happy once Maya was finally dateable, and he hoped that this relationship lasted longer than most of his others. Though with the sick look on the blonde girl's face, Josh wasn't so sure anymore. Maya sat on the chair that was connected to the one that Josh was sitting in, and quickly dodged the peck on the lips he tried to give her.
"We need to talk." Maya firmly stated. Josh gaped at her. She had never dodged a kiss from him, and now she wanted to talk. Josh's stomach had a sinking feeling in it. This would be terrible, they were breaking up. He didn't know what to do or say. But he had to put a stop to it before anything changed.
"Maya, please don't. I love you, and I don't want anything to happen to us. Just stay." Josh pleaded with her. Then both set of eyes widened. Josh had just said he loved Maya. The 18 year old looked at him with tears in her eyes. He loved her. Josh Matthews loved her. Maya had the urge to kiss him, but in the next few minutes he probably wouldn't love her anymore.
"No, no. I'm not breaking up with you." Maya told him. Josh let out a sigh of relief at her words. "But you might want to break up with me after this." She mumbled under her breathe, knowing that it was too quiet for the brunette man to hear.
Maya reached for her purse, and grabbed an object carefully wrapped in toilet paper. Josh's eyes turned to the object his girlfriend was pulling out and was confused. He really couldn't tell what it was, and Josh wasn't sure how he felt about it. "Look, Josh I know we haven't been together long, but…" Maya trailed off, handing him the object. Josh gingerly took it from her hand and began to unwrap it.
Josh's eyes bugged out of his head as he realized what he was holding. It was a pregnancy test. A positive pregnancy test. The man gulped and then looked to Maya, who had an expectant look in her eyes. "I understand if you never want to see me again." She told him with tears in her eyes. Maya began to pack her bag when she was stopped by Josh. Well, more like his lips.
"Next week you move in with me." Josh whispered as they slowly broke from the kiss. Maya started to let tears fall from her eyes.
"You're not mad?" She asked skeptically. Josh chuckled at her question.
"Nervous, yes. Excited, yes. But mad, no way." Then he leaned in for another kiss. Maya smiled against his lips. Together the three of them would be a family. It hit her even harder when Josh's hand went to her stomach. They would be happy together.
"Well, so far everything seems good. You're about 9 weeks I would say, so I'll put the due date at about November 28." The doctor told the couple. Maya and Josh graciously thanked her as she left, and began talking.
Maya held the picture of their baby as they left the clinic. Josh smiled as they slipped into his car. He was surprisingly happy about becoming a father. It was a bit unexpected, but he was happy none the less. Maya was completely mesmerized at the picture of their baby. She couldn't believe that little thing was growing inside of her. It was part Josh and part her. It was magical.
Together, the two climbed the stairs to their third floor apartment. Maya's hand stayed on her stomach the entire time. Every time Josh looked at her he beamed with pride. His girlfriend and unborn child. They were his whole world. Once the door was unlocked Maya made her way to the kitchen to finish homework, and Josh to cook dinner. They usually took turns and tonight was Josh's night.
Finally, at about 9:30, the homework was done and the dishes were put away. The couple sat together on the couch watching some cheesy children's show that Maya had ironically picked out. She kept telling Josh they would eventually be watching these around the clock so they better get accustomed to it now. Josh rolled his eyes, but knew the real reason was that Maya was secretly reliving her younger years.
As the clock changed to 9:45, Maya's eyes were so heavy she was surprised they were even open at the slightest. Josh yawned and went to run a hand through his hair. He knew Maya was tired, so he picked up his girlfriend and carried her to their bedroom. Together they fell in a heap on the once made bed. They were asleep in seconds.
Maya was restless. She seemed to be having weird stomach pains. At first she thought nothing of it. Now she wasn't so sure. The pains were getting worse. Maya's hand reached for Josh to wake him up. She shook him rather roughly, but the pain was getting to her.
"Maya?" Josh groggily mumbled. He looked up to see the sight of the blonde in a lot of pain. "Maya! What's wrong come on speak to me." Josh urged her soothingly. Maya hissed at horrible sensation in her abdomen.
"I-I-I don't kn-know." She sputtered. Josh quickly picked her up and moved the younger woman to their adjoining bathroom. Laying her on the cool tile, he continued to speak soothingly to her. Maya cried and it broke Josh inside a little bit. Maya never cried. Josh's head was in his hands when he heard a scream come from his lover.
There sat Maya, in a large puddle of blood. She was screaming and crying. Josh moved to clean up the mess. Maya was moved into the bathtub, so Josh could clean up better. Eventually, the sobs turned into slow hiccups as Josh finally came and held her.
"The baby. It's gone." Maya realized. Josh stared at her with tears in his eyes. They wouldn't be parents. Josh helped Maya into a change of clothes, and they slipped into their bed. Josh pulled Maya close to him, as she sobbed. He let a few slip from his throat too.
They weren't going to be a family. They lost their baby.
Riley walked through the hallways without Maya. All she heard were whispers. She knew they were about Maya. She had been missing from school since that morning. Riley wasn't even sure why though. All she knew was that her parents had been crying with Josh when she woke up, and Maya was nowhere to be seen.
It was finally 7th period which was her father's history class. She took her usual seat in front of Farkle. Threw a small kiss Lucas's way, and stared at her best friend's empty desk. When her father entered the room, Missy Bradford's hand shot right up. Riley rolled her eyes, as her father took the question.
"Is it true that Maya is pregnant?" Missy asked snobbishly. Cory didn't answer the question. Missy persisted. "Is it true that she miscarried last night?" Riley gasped at the second question. She had known about Maya's pregnancy, and was happy to have a cousin. The whole family was excited for the new addition. Josh had even confided in her that he was planning on proposing.
"Miss Bradford that is Miss Hart's business." He finally replied after a long time. Missy smiled smugly.
"So it is true then?" She pushed. Cory let out a quiet groan.
"Miss Bradford I have answered your question if you ask again, you will get a detention. Understood?" Cory replied quite angrily. Missy shut up after that. Riley knew that what Missy had said was correct. She looked to Farkle, Lucas, and Zay who sadly returned her glance.
"Dad? May we be excused?" Riley questioned her father sadly pointing to herself and the three boys. Cory nodded his head, and then began teaching about Belgium 1831 sadly. The four friends walked out of the school. Riley was crying into Lucas shoulder while the boys let silent tears slip down their faces. Maya needed them.
The pain had subsided, and the bleeding had changed to just a gentle trickle. Josh hadn't gone to classes that day. He just sat in bed with Maya as they poured their hearts out to each other. Most of the time was spent crying over the loss of their unborn child, but it brought them closer.
They had fallen asleep while in the middle of Ferris Bueller's Day Off. A normally funny movie. They didn't laugh. Maya had been clutching the baby blanket her parents had given her when they had announced the news. Josh had been awoken by the sound of the door knocking. He looked at the clock that said it was nearly 3. How the day had passed.
Josh quietly crept through the apartment in only his boxers and a gray t-shirt. He didn't need to wake Maya she was in too pain. Emotionally and physically. Josh opened the door slowly to see his niece with Lucas, Farkle, and Zay.
"Hey." He whispered. "I'll make a pot of coffee." He said as they entered the small apartment. The coffee pot was steadily filling with coffee when Josh went to retrieve Maya. She came from their room all disheveled with tear stains on her beautiful face. Josh stood close as he held her. They walked as one when coming into the presence of their friends.
Riley's eyes glistened with tears at the sight of her best friend and uncle. They were in too much pain and way too young. Lucas and Farkle gasped slightly at the way the two looked. Zay sat silently. It was too much, and the sorrow could be cut like a knife in that room.
Maya sat down next her best friend who promptly pulled her into a hug. Together the two sobbed. Josh watched and started crying all over again. He let a sob escape his lips as the other boys looked to him with tears running down their faces. All six of them held a small sob fest as they all ended up in a group hug.
"Thank you." Maya whispered. She knew that she had her friends' full support. She then began to trudge back into her room. "I-I'm tired so-so I'm going to s-sleep." She told them sadly. Josh kissed her forehead, and Riley hugged her one last time.
"I'll be in in a bit babe." Josh replied. Maya nodded, and then closed the door to the bedroom. Riley swore she heard muffled sobbing. She wanted to go after her best friend so so badly, but knew that Maya sometimes needed to be alone.
The rest of the five then gathered around the small kitchen table, as Josh poured coffee into mugs for them. His eyes were red and puffy as the coffee was handed out. All of their eyes were red and puffy. "I-I'm real sorry guys. Bu-but…" Josh's voice cracked and another sob wracked his body. "Oh God." He cried. "W-w-why did this happen to us?" He asked them incredulously. Riley sobbed and shook her head. It was extremely hard for the four of them to see Josh break down like this. "S-she's not the same, and it kills me every minute. She thinks i-it's her fault." Another sob came.
"Josh this will get better." Lucas, the voice of reason, told him firmly. Josh shook his head as he breathed in deeply.
"No, no it won't. W-we talked today about having more kids. Sh-she's completely against it. She barely lets me even hold her. I want to be there for her so bad, but she keeps pushing me away. I want her to know that this is killing me just as much as it kills her." Josh then went into yet another crying fit. Eventually, the crying subsided just a bit for the five to drink their coffee.
"Thanks you guys for coming. I know it meant a lot to Maya. It meant a lot to me." The 21 year old told them. Riley hugged him, and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. The three boys then gave him a pat on the back and a sympathetic smile. Once the door was closed. Josh sat in the silence for a few moments. Then he heard an incredibly loud cry come from his bedroom.
Upon entrance to the small master bedroom, Josh saw the love of his life screaming into a pillow as she held the ultrasound picture. The man climbed into the bed with Maya, and pulled her close. She let go of the pillow and then started to throw punches at his chest. Josh bared with the pain, and it frankly didn't hurt as much as his heart did.
The punches soon ceased, and Maya was just sobbing incredibly loud into his chest. Josh held her and cried with her. "This is all my fucking fault!" Maya shouted. Josh pulled her back from his chest, and brought her eyes to look at his.
"Look at me. Look at me Maya Hart. This was not your fault. It never will be your fault. It happens. Shit like this happens. But don't you ever think this was your fault. I don't know why shit like this happens to good people like you and me, but it is not your fault. And I don't give a damn to how much you think it is. It isn't. It's just a load of fucking shit that for some odd reason happened to us. This is not your fault." Josh told her before dissolving into sobs with her. "I love you so much." Josh told her. Maya nodded slightly. They lied together on the queen sized bed, sobbing for their baby they lost. After a few hours in that position. They fell asleep in each other's arms. The tear tracks finally drying on their faces.
3 weeks later
"Yeah, did you hear about that slut Maya Hart? Heard she got knocked up, then lost the baby. Serves her right for sleeping with Riley Matthews's uncle. That little whore." Missy sneered in the hallway, just as Maya walked by. The blonde girl was just about ready to punch the bitch, but refrained from doing so in the presence of her friends.
"Don't listen to her, Maya. She just has nothing better to do." Riley comforted. Maya wanted to listen to the brunette, but her miscarriage was still an extremely sore subject. She had tried to talk about it as little as she could, and now it was floating around school.
"Come on, let's just get to your dad's class." Maya mumbled. Riley followed her into the class room. This was going to be a long day.
"Josh, I'm home." Maya called out as she unlocked the door to the miniscule apartment. There wasn't a reply as she moved to the kitchen, and she wondered where in the world her boyfriend was. Maya waltzed into the petit kitchen, and noticed a note. 'Maya, went to run some errands. Be home soon. Love you! –Josh.' Maya scoffed at the letter.
'Yeah, running errands. More like trying to avoid me.' The blonde thought. In the past three weeks since the incident, the two adults had been moving farther and farther apart. Josh was officially sleeping on the couch. Maya would move away at the slightest move for a kiss. They seemed to fight even more, and their relationship was in shambles.
But Maya was adamant about moving back in with her parents. She loved Josh, and even though they weren't working right now didn't mean they wouldn't work ever again. Sitting alone with her thoughts, Maya decided to make a small snack of Nutella and animal crackers.
Feeling like nothing was going right, Maya decided to do something stupid. In a moment of weakness, the blonde woman grabbed for her purse. Fishing through it, she finally found what she wanted. It was a picture, fuzzy, but a picture none the less. Maya smiled a bit, as she stared at it, but the smile soon turned to a grimace. Then the tears started flowing. That picture killed her every time she looked at it. That tiny, tiny baby in the picture would never grow up. Never get to meet its parents. Never do anything.
The sound of the sobs escalated as Josh walked in through the door. "Maya?" he called. Walking into the kitchen, he saw the short woman sobbing at the kitchen table holding the picture. "Come here." Josh sadly said. He pulled the girl onto his lap, and smiled. She didn't push him away. This was the most physical contact they had had in a week.
Josh murmured sweet nothings in Maya's ear as her body wracked with sobs. He knew what happened, and frankly he wanted to cry too. But he had to stay strong, for her. "Come on gorgeous." He stated as he picked up the light girl. They moved to the bedroom, where they promptly held each other and slept. They were together, and that was all that mattered.
They woke up together. Maya smiled as the light streamed through the blinds. Soon the smile turned to a slight frown. "Morning gorgeous." Josh greeted his beautiful wife. When he saw the look on her face he remembered what day it was. It was the day of the incident. It had been exactly a year since the miscarriage, and they had seemed to be doing well. Finally patched up their relationship, and got married. But it seemed that this day would pull the married couple back into darkness.
Maya let a tear slip as she looked at Josh. He sighed, and pulled her close. "I know." He commented. Maya nodded and finally let her sob slip. "Listen. Today, and today only, we can mourn. Otherwise we need to move on. Got it?" Josh asked her. Maya nodded as the tears rolled down her face. Then Josh started to cry with her. It felt good to the two to let the pent up feelings out. Not a day had gone by that they hadn't thought about their baby they lost, but they knew they had to move forward.
Maya wiped the tears from Josh's eyes, and he did the same for her. Josh kissed her face lightly where the tear tracks were. Maya found herself face first in Josh's chest as they sobbed together. Finally the crying had subsided and they found themselves watching Sleepless in Seattle.
"So, this going in your dungeon of sadness?" Josh asked sadly.
"Yep. Do you think we'll ever be happy again?" Maya countered. Josh thought for a few moments.
"Yeah, but its problems like this that will help make the moments better." And Josh kissed her forehead, and held her close.
So lay here beside me, just hold me and don't let go
This feelin' I'm feelin' is somethin' I've never known
-Lady Antebellum "Can't Take My Eyes Off You"
AN: Don't kill me! Any way if you noticed the song and the story had nothing in common besides the name, and I though the chorus fit. Yes, I did feel bad about putting my precious children through that pain, but it had to be done. I loved writing this, but it also killed me. I was crying like the whole time! Well hope y'all enjoyed it! Please review your thoughts they keep me going!