Chapter 1: I Left Here In Darkness and Found You on the Way

The night sky was dull, covered by dark, ominous clouds, leaving the moons guiding light almost non-existent. Midnight, Midgar was asleep, getting a full rest before the sun shook them from their dreams and blindly lead them into a broken, scary world. The only fools who traveled at night was the drunks and soulless people who gave up on living a long time ago.

A familiar blonde, spiky haired, "hero", was among those who traveled at night, soulless, helpless, and drunk. It's been six months since his nightmare returned to haunt him, and he wasn't taking it like a man. In the last six months he was plagued by nightmares of fire, death, and that silver-haired man that tainted him without mercy. In the last six months, all the orphans were adopted, leaving 7th heaven less crowded. In the last six months, Tifa finally gave up on him, adopted Denzel, and married some "loser". In the last six months Vincent and Cid became more than just friends- and sadly Cloud had to witness that first hand. And in the last six months, he moved out and moved in to a lonely cold apartment that matched his soul.

It was now one am, and the blond was leaning against the wall of a bar- drunk and all alone.

One am, I Reno was to be relieved from my boring duties as Shinra's "watch dog." In the last six months Rufus started his "make the world a better place," campaign, which left us Turks out of the killing job and completely bored. Most of the day was spent drinking as much liquor as my body could handle, and playing Solitaire. Well, at least I am getting paid right? I shouldn't complain.

I heard the soft echo of shoes against the tile- Rude was here to take my place as extremely bored Turk. He appeared, the black circles that tainted his face were masked by the thick sunglasses that seemed to be a permanent part of his face. No words were exchanged- no words needed. We had become close enough to know what each other was saying, just by focusing on our dead, cold eyes. We both wanted life again, we both wanted to feel needed (more than for watch dog duty) and we both really wanted to last thing of whiskey. I leave it to him, a present to keep during the night, a memory of me. Maybe Rufus wanted us to be apart, because we tend to cause trouble- so work is even more unbearable.

I traveled through the streets of Midgar, my drunken high wearing off, so clearly I needed to find a bar. Yes, I was one of those lost souls that wandered around this dead place looking for anyway out. At those times, I wish I could fly away.

One fifteen am, and you could imagine my surprise when I am staring at the blonde "hero", sitting like a lump, eyes closed, and his breathing even and smooth. He looked dangerous sitting there, like a lion ready to attack anyone who had the balls to disturb him. Maybe I am just being bias, I have known him for some time, and even if he acts like a stupid immature child, he has a way of making you afraid of him-there's something dark hidden behind those soft mako-blue eyes.

I was completely sober at this point (stopped drinking around four), so my mind was a little too level headed for my liking. I knew he couldn't stay out here all night- the cold would kill him before the humans- and I knew, sadly, I was the only one here who would carry his ass home. If I was drunk I wouldn't even consider helping him- I would continue on my way into the bar and probably end up in the same place as he…until Tseng and Elena came around to pick me up.

I had people to watch over me….

And I guess he didn't.

I guess that breathing is a liar; he died a long time ago. And this is sympathy, because I am in the same boat as he, it feels like, and what do you have if you can't even help the people like you? You are nothing. I won't be "nothing" just yet; being half dead is fine with me.

I knelt down, placing my hand dangerously on his shoulder, and shook him as gently as possible. "Come on Strife," I said softly, "bed time is over." He didn't move, just grunted and said something along the lines of "Get away from me." However his words meant nothing to me, and instead I just shook harder. I was expecting him to grab my hand and flip me over, call me some "brilliant" name like "stupid", and stumble away mumbling drunkly. However non of that happened, to my surprise he just gently covered his hand with mine.

"Reno," he mumbled, "What are you doing here?"

I was silently takin' a back that he knew the sound of my voice- Then again people have told me I have a very distinct voice…I guess that was just a nice way of saying "annoying."

"I WAS going to get smashed but, your snorin' caught my attention." Finally the blonde opened his bloodshot eyes, shooting me what looked like a death glare that was dropped on his head when he was born. He looked like shit, and I could only guess that's what he felt like. Amazing what happens to hero's when their days of saving the world are through.

"Snoring my ass, I don't snore."

"Could-a fooled me, it was loud yo!"

I could see a smirk curl up at the ends of his lips, but he didn't continue; to drunk to bother. I sigh, he rolls his eyes, and we both know I have to carry him home, it was getting colder by the minute.

"Ah fuck, Strife, why am I always helpin' ya."

"Maybe you…should…I don't know," he slurred. Alcohol plus blonde equals an even bigger idiot. (No offense to blondes). Though I can tell you, I was surprised he was this attentive; usually for me I would be so smashed I would make passes at Elena….ew…seriously.

"Okay times a wastin'!"

I grab his hand and attempt to yank him up, only to succeed in dragging his ass closer to me. "Ah, Dammit Strife ever heard of a diet?" He didn't need one, he was built like a ship, strong arms and legs…and six pack abs…yes he didn't need a diet- he needed a crane to pick his tight ass up.

"Ever heard of…" pause… "your mom?"

I rolled my mako green eyes, "Yeah and she was a very nice lady, now pick your ass up." I tried to pull him again, getting the same results. He wasn't even looking at me anymore; he was staring at the sky, dazed, dead, alone. He almost completely forgot about me standing in front of him, helping him like the idiot I was. I should have walked away at that moment, but I couldn't bring myself to let go of his rough hand and leave him there in his despair. I wouldn't want him to leave me…

"Hey Strife," I yanked his arm gently, and briefly earned him attention, "I'll take you home before some asshole stabs you."

"Uh er…" I took that as a yes.

-

We walked down the dark sidewalk (well I walked, he stumbled around like a an idiot.), it was now 2:30 am, Midgar was empty. Bars were filled to their legal capacity, Strip Clubs were filled with horny patrons, asking for a moment of a pleasure. No one on the streets to cause much trouble- and if anyone was around…I doubt they'd mess with me.

"Where do ya' live Strife," I asked, popping a cigarette in my mouth. He didn't answer at first, just stared at me with those lost blue eyes, as if I had asked him what the meaning of life was.

"Oh," he said dumbly, "in a big, brown, building, around here somewhere."

"Oh well that's helpful, because all the buildings here are big and browns stupid!"

He moved away from me, his eyes focusing on the floor, "Sorry…I'll know when I see it."

Great now I made him even sadder, way to go Reno!

"Sorry, I'm just tired," I lied, "just don't point at the wrong building kay? Don't want to walk into some strangers house." He nodded sadly, and proceeded to look at the cracks on the sidewalk.

The wind blew angrily, smacking our bodies with the full force of its rage, its hands trying to block us from proceeding down the dark, ominous, sidewalk. The trees crackled at as, pointing their bony fingers at our own pathetic excuse for a life as the darkness cascaded around us- the cloud blocking out the sad moon glow. It seemed as if the sun gave up on our race, and slowly fizzled out- day was not coming to those good souls that woke up every morning with hope in their eyes. They will become like us, the monsters of the night, and roam the earth until their untimely demise. This is what we would hope for - swift painless death.

Another hope that will not come out of spite.

Then I saw a lonely star, twinkling brightly, despite the dark cloud that threaten to block it out. Elena, the romantic, would spew such filth that if you wish on the first star you see, your wish will come true. Hah…

'I wish I had a reason to live.'

-

He fumbled around cutely for his keys, cursing at the little tune they played as the smacked against one another.

"Having technical difficulties Strife?" I mock with a slight laugh. He throws me a sorry excuse for a death glare, and proceeds with failure to find the key to fit the lock. He stared at the keys, a sorry sigh escaping his soft lips- he gave up. He looked so lost, alone, scared, and for what reasons I didn't know. It didn't seem like him, so much, and I was slightly perturbed at the scene I was staring at. "Yo, Strife, why don't you just come over to my place; it ain't that far away."

"No…No No No, that won't work," he slurred, hitting his head on the door like sped, " I can't, I need to be here…can't go anywhere."

This was getting ridiculous, "Well them give me the keys, and I'll find the one to your door!"

He handed me the keys and I then realized how drunk he truly is- there were only TWO FUCKIN KEYS! Why I didn't notice this before only made me wonder about my own blood alcohol level, but never the less…he was clearly drunker than a skunk (if that made any sense).

"Okay lets take a look shall we…" Key 1: Opens DOOR, Key 2: 7th Heaven….yeah they also had labels on them- Strife could have done it incase he got drunk like this…if they had labels on them CLEARLY he could find which key goes WHERE, but CLEARLY this wasn't the case. I held the sacred key in front of the blondes lost face, "There you go…finally!" He just stared at it, as if the whole concept of a key was completely new to him. He looked at me, his eyes welling up with sadness, and said quietly, "I feel like shit."

"Well you look like shit," I laughed half heartily.

"Take a look in the mirror." A very slight smile managed to force his way on to his face- sad as it was, it was a smile…at least I got that out of him, even if it was at my own expense. His 'I'm a scared little boy' routine was getting on my nerves. He should be a man about this whole thing, instead of standing here like a moron, a dazed, forgetful look all over his normally cold as stone face, and a dumb smile twitching at the pain of being on such a sorry face. I don't think in a million years I would have seen him like this, and even now…to this day, I don't think I ever have since. His whole mentality when backwards, into the mindset of a newbie SOILDER, completely confused about life itself, and the hard lessons he would have to learn. Sephiroth brought that back- something more powerful then hate was lying within Cloud…could it have been…

Well…don't want to ruin the surprise now.

"Fine fine," I plunged the key into the keyhole, and turned it…almost broke it to tee hee, "I will help you to bed and everything, because I am that nice of a guy ya know?"

He didn't answer, but I felt his eyes burning into my back as I fumbled with the lock. I didn't like my back turned on an enemy…or a drunken loser…you never know what the want, or are capable of, and Tseng always said to be on my toes, and watch out for anything. Well, since when have I ever listened to that prissy boots. I finally got the door to unlock, and swung it open revealing a dirty apartment covered in dirty laundry, beer cans, and dust. It almost looked like my apartment except he was missing the play boy magazines, the porn, and of course the tissues.

"You need a maid," I stated. He walked briskly passed me, not saying a word. He scanned the apartment sadly, like a ton of bricks just smacked him in the face and told you "Dude you life is as big a mess as your apartment!" He looked up at me, "It's to late for you to walk home, stay here." More for his sake, it seemed, than for mine. Is it me or is he getting drunker by the minute?

But he was right, it was to late for me to dare stumble about Midgar alone. Some asshole with a bat may feel the need to knock me over the head with it, and maybe I am to lost to even care if it knocked me out or killed me. But I know they would all be sad if I died, that much I know- I have people to worry about, I can't worry about my own sorry need to die just yet. Right now Cloud needed me for some messed up reason, and damn my conscience, but I wasn't going to leave him. We are to much alike for me not to care. I walked in, shutting the door behind me.

Then everything went to hell.

-

He had asked me to help him in his bed, and seeing the way he almost smacked his head against a wall, I didn't see the harm in preventing his own self destruction for one night. I mustered up the strength, draped his arm around my shoulders, and dragged his heavy ass to his bedroom. His bed wasn't much of a bed, and his room wasn't much of a room, much like this apartment wasn't a home, but a wasteland for him. The bed was a mattress with a small thin sheet and pillow on it, and the room was cold, black, and eluded to the misery and countless tears shed every night after a drunken binge.

I tried laying him gently on his mattress, but I lost my foot (bastards pretty damn heavy), and we both fell on his "bed", or lips crashing against each other and staying, frozen in time, in a lingering kiss. He hasn't had human contact in who knows how long, and I, well, I guess if I really think about it now I was in the same boat as him. The countless hookers, male and female, were only satisfying the primal needs, but not the emotional ones that laid under a pile of self pity of angst that managed to accumulate over the many years of loneliness.

I was really lonely- because one mistaken kiss chipped off some of the stone in my heart.

I pull away slightly, looking deep into his dark blue orbs waiting for a sign, a signal, anything to tell me if I should walk out now or stay like this, with our lips barely brushing against each other.

"You can stay," he whispered.

"And do what?"

He didn't answer- he pushed his lips against mine again, running his warm tongue against my bottom lip, demanding entry. I was never one to play hard to get, but I also never let anyone take control. I opened my mouth, only to allow my tongue forces it's way into his own fortress. Our tongues fought against each other, a battle to see who was going to be on top- and a pleasurable battle at that!

He suddenly flipped me over, he was on top of me, but never breaking off from the kiss. It was pretty clear who won this battle…and well…tee hee I was going to enjoy the ride. I pulled away a little, "How come you always beat me?"

He smiled, and forced his lips on mine again. That's a great answer.

The blonde attempted to slip off my jacket, but I put my hand on his chest to stop him, feeling the muscles through his tight shirt…big mistake…I wanted to feel more. He pulled away and stared into my faded green eyes, a soft whisper escaped his voice, "You want me to stop?"

I sat up, finishing the job of taking off my jacket, "How far you want to take this Cloud?"

"Please…"

I smirked as I ran my rough fingers through his soft, thick blonde hair. He returned the smile, a real life smile. It was strange yet beautiful to see the glow in his eyes, and the semi-forced happiness that danced all along his face. It was truly, the greatest moment in my life.

"Then what are we waiting for?"

-

insert hot sex scene here

-

When it was all over, we laid there, covered in sweat and other bodily fluids I dare not mention. He looked over at me, a lingering sadness that wasn't there a moment ago, was there now.

"What's up?" I whispered, running my hand along his cheek, hoping that a smile would soon follow…this whole thing would be perfect with his beautiful smile.

"Nothing, everything's okay…really."

But no smile, no closer. Was he regretting this? Maybe…he could have realized he was just caught up in a drunken moment, and tomorrow I will be cast out. Like every other night…

Could I go back to being alone after all of this?

He draped one arm over my waist and pulled me as close as our bodies would allow. "Just stay with me?"

I nodded my head. Still no smile. His eyes slowly closed, and his blue orbs became a memory that roamed throughout my mind. He broke down all my walls that I built with only one push, one moan, in one moment. And if I was the same man I was six months ago, or even two, I would have easily untangled myself from his web and slowly disappear from his side forever. All in an attempt to hide every horrid memory that would ooze out of the gaping wound that was cut open.

But I don't want run away anymore.

I just want to feel again.

It was 3:30 am. Exactly three hours before I had to face his cold hearted face once again: He would kick me out to save his own memories.