Conditional Love
Disclaimer: I don't own HP.
A/N: This is for the Prompt of the Day in Hogwarts Online II for March 18th. Enjoy and R and R!
Andromeda could feel the lingering ghosts of last night's adventure with Ted so clearly even in the morning. She had hid with him in the Astronomy Tower and watched the stars. The rendezvous had left Andromeda so happy as she hadn't seen Ted in over a week because of her sisters' antics. She didn't know what had come over Bella to want to spend time with her and Cissy but Andy didn't want to look a gifted horse in the mouth. She was grateful for the time to spend with her sisters since it had greatly diminished as they all grew older and while she relished in her sisters' presence she had been itching, craving to meet Ted again.
He was so sweet, kind, loyal, and romantic to the bone. Andromeda also liked the fact that while he was sort of forbidden being a Hufflepuff and a "mudblood" he cared so much about her that it made her feel treasured. She hadn't felt so wanted since before Hogwarts in the embrace of her older sister Bella but that had all drifted away when she had turned into a soon to be initiated Death Eater.
Thinking of Bella's obvious loyalty to the beliefs they had grown up with sent a twinge of pain coursing through her heart. She knew Bella wouldn't be happy if she knew what her younger sister was doing at night but she loved Ted and their stolen kisses in the starlight. She loved the freedom and she loved the goofy grin on his face.
Oh she sounded like a love struck fool but she did love him. She did. She just knew it would tear both of her sisters away. Narcissa, the prim and proper girl of the sisters, would be horrified. She hated anything that resembled a scandal and she didn't have a rebellious or free spirited bone in her whole body! She wouldn't understand.
Andromeda couldn't even ask, "if I had a secret, would you still love me" to her sisters because it would arouse attention first of all but the real reason laid in the fact that they wouldn't love her. She hated that the most. She loved them so much and it hurt her to consider that they wouldn't be by her side through it all.
Her sisters' love was very conditional and not matter what she tried to do about it that fact would never change. If she stepped out of line, even if it made her happy, they would hate her and try to stuff her back into the small space that was what she could do. She was claustrophobic though and she needed to be free. She was just scared of what that would entail but should she really fight for what was sure to be conditional love?
They wanted her to fall in love with Rabastan Lestrange and be a housewife but she didn't want that life. She loved her "blood traitor" and "mudblood" friends and she didn't want to give them up. She was taught that she was a Black and no one should have power over her and that was the only thing she wanted to keep with her.
She wouldn't fight against her whims to keep them happy. When she knew Ted knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her she would leave and she would never come back to her sisters or the Black family.
Andromeda realized that she was back at her common room from her trip to the library with a jolt as she stood before the entrance. Slipping in quietly she saw her sister Narcissa all alone with her boyfriend Lucius Malfoy and she hoped he would keep her happy because despite the rumors about her being an "ice queen" she was weak and she needed someone strong to hold on to.
She was headed for her dormitory when her sister finally noticed her after her snogging session with Lucius had ended for the moment and called for her. Andromeda turned around and smiled, a fake smile that she seemed to easily be able to put on so well, and greeted her sister. Feeling Narcissa's embrace before leaving her again she fluttered in her determination. She loved them so much it hurt. Could she really leave them when it came to it? They may not be the same like before but they were still sisters.
When Andromeda arrived at her bed she threw herself unceremoniously on the piece of furniture and slipped under the covers. She could feel tears threatening to escape their confinement even though there were a few sleeping and not sleeping girls already in the dorm.
No she had to remember that her sisters had changed and that changed how they loved her, from unconditional to conditional, and she simply had to realize that the trio of them were truly over.
Even if the truth destroyed her heart and left it mangled and bleeding in her chest.