Disclaimer: The characters, back ground story and anything alse you recognise belongs to Rowling.
A/N: Incase anyone has trouble identifying the timeperiod of this oneshot, it is picturised in the begin of the OotP, after the party at Grimmauld Place. Written in the honour of Halloween.
That night was the night he lost everything. His most priced possessions were stripped away from him and tossed away without a care, on the Halloween night of 1981.
He had worked hard to repress the memories of that night and strived to only remember the wonderful memories of childhood and bittersweet memories of the full moon and Hogwarts, to keep them untainted by the brutality that followed. Betrayal of the Marauders. Of brothers.
But seeing Molly's boggart take the form of a dead Harry brought back to him the flashes of the fateful night of October 31st, 1981. Images flashed across his mind's eye. James and Lily murdered. Sirius in Azkaban. Peter blown to smithereens, or so he had thought. And Harry off to live with Muggles. And Remus drowning. Drowning in grief and despair that surpassed even the amount of Firewhiskey he had imbibed in an attempt to numb the ache.
For the entire Wizarding Community Halloween of 1981 marked the end of a brutal war and the beginning of a new era, full of promises. But for him it was, in several ways, the end of hope. The end of a beautiful horizon filled with red hair, freckles, rectangle glasses, messy hairy, moonlit jaunts and so much more. The beginning of the darkest night. A night which had stetched on for 12 long years, until he had been reunited with Sirius at dawn.
He lost five of the most important people in his life on that thanks to Voldemort. Two of his friends gone forever, never to return again. Two wonderful people who loved their family so much that they died protecting each other. That had been a dead end. Literally.
James had always been the glue among the Marauders. His death proved that. They had fallen apart without their adhesive to bind them. Even now, with Sirius it was so different. Both Remus and Sirius were mere shadows of what they used to be. James had been the positive energy, forever motivating them to fight for what they loved, what they believed in. He missed that mischievious prat with a twinkle forever present in his eyes, who always had a way of making him forget his studious side, so that he could dive headlong into the art of planning pranks. No matter what people believed, he had been just as much a troublemaker as James and Sirius. He had just been more sneakier in order to protect his Prefect image..
Being a fellow Prefect, and a close friend, Lily had known it. He had slipped one too many times with her on patrol and told her about the occasional prank. She had even caught him making notes about the loopholes in the Hogwarts Rule Book. He felt his chest constrict when he thought about Lily. She was the first person apart from Marauders and Dumbledore, who had excepted him without any bias. He had thought that Moony existed only with the Maruders, but she proved him wrong. Even though she wasnt a part of their monthly moonlit jaunts, she made him feel just as special, just as glad that he was Remus Lupin– werewolf or not.
Now that he had let his mind wander back to that fateful night, the images continued to flow. Images of a dear friend who had been falsely accused and locked up in Azkaban, without a trial. Inspite of being taken in by the traitorous rat's set up, Remus had put up an application for a trial to be held for Sirius. Firstly because, he didnt want to lose the last connection to the Marauders. Secondly because he wanted the satisfaction of dealing with Sirius himself, punishing him for breaking them, tearing them apart. But of course, he had been denied. Werewolf friend of a heinous criminal.
It had been hard to believe that Sirius was the spy. In all his time that Remus had know him, Sirius had never been quiet or secretive. Atleast not within the Marauders. Sirius had always been reckless and loyal to a fault. He would risk his life in a heartbeat, if it meant saving any of the Marauders or the Potters. Perhaps that had been his downfall, but Remus doesnt blame him, because they were the Marauders and brothers were supposed to trust each other. They should have been supposed do so without fear. They had done that, for sure, but to what extent, he asked himself. For they had feared him, feared Remus. His thoughts were now filled with a bitterness that arose in him no matter how much he tried to prevent it. He reminds himself that now he has Sirius. A brother with whom he has been reunited after 12 long years Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, returning to the day when he had been faced with the alternative of two of his bestfriends on either side. That day he had let his Ravenclaw brain overpower his Gryffindor heart – James' words, not his – and chosen what, at that time, had been the most logical explanation.
Remus doesn't want to think about Peter, but how could he not. He was another brother Remus had lost that night. First literally and then metaphorically. He supposed Peter was the only one among them who actually changed, who turned into someone none of the other Marauders could recognise. All of them had matured, obviously. From the reckless, mischievous troublemakers of Gryffindor, they had grown into reckless, mischievous but caring adults who fought in a war which threatened to snatch away their liberty.
He remembers Peter as a loyal friend, always by their side. Unlike the preconceived notions of many, Peter wasnt the the tag-along. He was an essential part among them, and that is what made the betrayal hurt so much, that is what twisted the knives in their back after it had been stabbed. Beause even he had mastered Animagi transformations for Remus, had been there for Sirius when they received news that Regulus had taken the Dark Mark, had suffered through James rants after each rejection from Lily. He had been there when James and Lily got married, when Harry had spoken his first word – which to Remus's pleasure had been 'Moony' – when Harry had taken his first steps upright.
Remus isn't sure, along which of those events Peter changed. He wonders why he changed in the first place. But Remus knows wondering will get him nowhere. Just like he knows that Wormtail doesn't exist anymore. There was only Pettigrew now. Pettogrew who was responsible for Harry's fate.
Remus loves Harry more than he lets on. He and Sirius treasure him so much. How could they not, after seeing those almond shaped green eyes and messy hair. He was his own person of course, yet he reminded them so much of the old times with his parents. He was no longer the toddler who craved the simple pleasure of being in the arms of Uncle Moony and Pa'foot, but a fifteen year old Harry, who looked to Sirius and Remus for guidance. But he was still Harry. The legacy of James and Lily.
They had to win this war for him. They had started fighting because of their disagreement with the arising policies of blood purity, but now Harry was a bigger part of their fight. They had to win it for Harry, if not for anything else. They had already let him down once, Remus and Sirius would make sure it would not happen this time around. They would make sure that Harry got the happiness he deserved, even if they went down for the cause.