The sun was barely peaking through the windows, but already Quinn was up and trying her best to get me out of bed. I scowled at her playfully through half open eyes as she bounced. A daunting sense of déjà vu nagged at my brain but I pushed it aside to enjoy the moment
"Ryannnnn! Get upppp! It's a beautiful day and I refuse to let you waste it in bed." Her giggle was infectious, and I couldn't help but smile back sleepily. She was perfection by definition. Even now, half asleep and with a horrid case of bed head, she was still the most beautiful woman I'd ever laid eyes on. "Get up lazy ass. We have so much to do today." Her voice sounded off this time, like it wasn't quite her own. Again, I chose to ignore the feeling in the pit of my gut. I only wanted a few more minutes. It didn't seem like too much to ask.
"But I would rather waste the day in bed with you, of course." I reached up to grab her, wanting to pull her closer. Before I could get my hands on her, everything started to blur and melt back into reality. My eyes snapped open, adjusting to the light of the room I was in. It wasn't my own and the person standing over me wasn't Quinn.
"Dude, you haven't left this room to do more than piss in, like, 3 days. Get up. If you don't eat soon you're going to die and I'm not about to deal with a corpse." Puck's voice was stern, worry dripping through his words. "You should probably also shower. You smell gross. Come on. Up!" He pulled the sheets from my body as I groaned, begrudgingly leaving behind my dreams for the day. "Good boy." He mocked. "Now shower. I'm taking you out for breakfast so we can try and figure out how to get you back on your feet."
The world outside Puck's apartment walls was far too bright for the foul mood I found myself in as we sat outside some shitty, new Lima restaurant, waiting for breakfast.
"Another Quinn dream?" Puck's words almost made me jump out of my skin. I never thought I was so transparent. I bit my tongue as he peered over his coffee mug at me. "You mutter her name in your sleep a lot." He explained, making my heart drop into the pit of my stomach
"Probably. Who knows. I don't really remember." I lied through my teeth. I needed the subject to change more than I was willing to ever admit to Puck or myself. "Did that theater call again?" I inquired, sipping on my coffee. I had put Puck in charge of my phone after he had found me. I was normally too drunk these days to function anyway.
"Three times. I think it's a good idea."
"It's an internship. I was on Broadway for fucks sake I'm above a damn internship position."
"Shut up. Seriously. You aren't above shit right now Ryan. You were on Broadway for maybe a year before Quinn left you and you went bat shit. You got yourself fired and ruined your reputation all because you couldn't get your act together. You were and are still being a drunk, belligerent idiot. And now you're a washed up, homeless, has-been back here in Lima. You're a Lima Loser. Exactly what you never wanted to be. So what if it isn't New York? Chicago isn't so bad. This theater wants you. They wanna pay you and house you and you need to get off your ass. So just take it already. Take your second chance." I had never heard Puck speak so firmly and yet stay so calm all at once. I knew everything he said came from a good place but that didn't make it sting any less. I knew he knew the real reason why I was avoiding Chicago with all I had in me.
"Think she's still out there? In Chicago?" I asked, meeting his eye finally.
"You know I couldn't tell you even if I knew. She asked me not to tell you about her after… after everything happened. But I honestly don't know. We haven't spoken in years. I'd assume not. I'm sure she dropped theater all together, honestly. I'm sure it's safe." I knew he was probably right and I knew I couldn't hide forever. I had to start somewhere.
"I'll call them." I said, looking down into my coffee, knowing it was time to move forward.