It was approaching 10 a.m. when the sheriff's direct line rang a little too loudly for her taste. At least that was hung-over Emma's opinion on this bright, shiny Maine Monday morning. The phone in question was being sought from under the pile of paperwork Regina had assigned her.
"Sherriff Swan speaking."
"Exactly who I needed to speak with. Good morning Sheriff." Regina sounded entirely too jovial. It made the hairs on Emma's neck and arms stand at attention.
Jesus, when would this woman get a fricking life?
"Good morning Mayor Mills, you thoroughly examined my budget submission and called to gloat about your denials? Perhaps a lack of eloquence?"
A chuckle passed through the ancient phone line. Had this been in the Enchanted Forrest it would have taken a lot out of the buzz Regina had caused at Snow and Charming's wedding. Something about phoning in a threat seemed a touch beneath the former Queen.
"On the contrary dear, I have not called to gloat about anything, although I did have a few questions. If you have no other engagements at the moment."
"Okay, shoot."
This should be a breeze.
"Excellent let us begin with line A?"
The sheriff found her copy and nodded," Okay."
"My copy states $75 for Regina a vibrator so she can finally remove that stick up her ass. What does your say, dear?"
Coffee spritzed the desk and paperwork in front of the blonde as she remained stunningly silent.
"You said vibrator."
"Mhmm."
"It does not say that."
"Oh silly me, I must have misread." Regina clucked her tongue as her eyes skimmed the page in her hands, "Line B states $150, dat ass tho, and did I say that correctly Sheriff Swan?"
Horror quickly took hold of the blonde. Somehow drunken Emma must have written a second copy, as she had made several in the event she lost it at any point before the due date, and submitted an alternate copy. Not only was that copy incorrect, she had a faint recollection of the words Regina was purring through the phone. Ruby had arrived with tequila and bad decisions had taken it from there.
"Hello?"
"Oh. My. God."
She would bet Regina would pay anything to see the distress this near breakdown was going to cause.
"I prefer Your Majesty." came a haughty reply.
"Regina I swear..."
"You should listen because it's in your best interest dear, be silent unless I grant you permission to open that unbearable mouth of yours."
Breakfast was threatening to rise from Emma's gut and exit her mouth as she awaited permission to so much as taking a breath.
"Good, you can listen. Do you know where you should be in 15 minutes? And yes, that was permission to speak."
"In your office."
Chuckles greeted her ear. "Do you want to know why you will be present?"
"So you can get the full thrills of firing me in person?"
"Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of you and me discussing the stick figure drawing at the bottom of the budget report where it appears to be you fucking me against my desk."
A full minute had passed in the silence. "I will see you in fifteen...no thirteen minutes? Sheriff?"
Still, nothing when the dial tone blared in her ear. She sat her phone onto the cradle and waited. Impressively fast the Sheriff came through the door as Tinkerbell glanced inside to verify this was acceptable.
"Take the remainder of the day off. I will see you Monday." Regina loudly stated as Emma gave her a thorough stare down. With the cat out of the bag, what did she really have to fear? The mayor moved by her to shut and lock the door but found herself against it locked in the fiercest of kisses. "Miss. Swan..."
Emma mouthed against her lips "Shh, no talking."
A shove to the chest did not hinder the blonde much either as she awaited Regina to relax into it. Soon those hands that had pushed were pulling Emma in by the tank top. Then those velvet hands had slipped beneath all clothing to enjoy the beautiful feeling of heated flesh. She traced every muscle while Emma's hands slipped down her backside grabbing two hand fulls. The taste of the blondes moan left her starving for what would follow.
"Couch." No movement. "Now Miss. Swan."
The sheriff lifted her without breaking the kiss. "Yes, your majesty."