Originally written anonymously for the Phoenix Wright Kink Meme, 21st to 22nd March 2014.

It was always a worrying thing to receive a ring at the door so early in the morning. Never did it mean good news and Miles Edgeworth knew that better than anyone. So when he heard his front door buzz out at half past one in the morning, his heart sank with fear.

What has happened?

Some terrible crime in the building, at the office... or a family emergency? Had something happened to Franziska? She was his only relative, after all. Well, there was his other sister but-

This was beside the point! Miles leapt out of bed faster than he realised he could spring. Desperately pulling on his dressing gown and rushing to the door. The buzzing was relentless, clearly someone who was not going to leave until someone answered.

'I'm coming!' he called out, trying to assure them.

He yanked open the door to - nothing.

Then he looked down.

'Pearls!' Miles gasped bewildered to see the nine-year-old standing there in her pyjamas, winter coat and little slippers on, no less! He was equally surprised to have addressed with the same nickname he used.

Still, it was better than calling her "Pearly", which felt a little too girly... or just Pearl. He felt he knew her well enough to be familiar.

The little girl sniffed, rubbing wet and itchy tears away from her eyes.

'M-Mr. Ed-ji-worth!' she whimpered.

(It's pronounced EDGE-worth), he nearly said before thinking better of it. 'Pearls, what are you doing here? What's happened? Is it Maya, or Wright...!? Come in!'

He blathered all these things out worriedly, fearing the worse. What small child was reduced to knocking on people's doors in tears unless something terrible hadn't happened?

Gently, he guided her into the hallway and led her through to the living room. He sat her down on the sofa and sat opposite her, bracing himself for bad news. He might have to call the police office if something horrific really had transpired.

'Tell me what happened, Pearl,' Miles said, trying to sound calm.

She was still crying.

He reached into his dressing gown to hand her a handkerchief.

'Try and calm down,' he said as softly as possible. 'I promise I'll help you with whatever it is. Now, did something happen to Maya?'

'Mystic Maya...' Pearl whispered sadly, her top lip quivering. She cried into the cloth again, 'Oh, Mystic Maya... Mystic Maya!'

Something must have happened to her.

Miles leaned forward to rub Pearl's shoulder. 'Tell me what happened. I will do everything I can to help, I swear.'

She hiccuped through her next words, bit by bit. 'I... don't... know... what to... think! Mystic Maya and... M-Mr Nick. I heard them! I-I...'

Then she burst into tears all over again.

'I think I heard Mr Nick hurting Mystic Maya!'

Miles didn't understand what she meant. Wright was hurting Maya? Like, hitting her, mistreating her… abusing her?! He couldn't get his head around the concept. The idea that Wright would even lift a finger to Maya perplexed him completely. After all, this was the man who had blindly rushed across a burning bridge because the mere thought of her being hurt or in danger switched off the Logic mechanism in Wright's head...

What little Logic that man had, at least.

'You saw Mr Wright... hurting Maya?' Miles repeated, just to make sure he had heard correctly. 'Were they arguing?'

That could make sense: to watch her surrogate mother-sister cousin and father figure having a fight could have scared her enough to run away.

But Pearl shook her head.

'I didn't see them arguing...' she admitted slowly. 'I just... heard sounds, funny sounds, like Mystic Maya was crying. Then...'

She paused, and looked away.

'I-I don't understand,' Pearl lamented to herself. 'I thought... Mr Nick loved Mystic Maya. I never thought he'd hurt her. But... I knew as soon as I heard what I heard, I had to come and tell you so you could send Mr. Scruffy Detective to arrest him. I-if Mr Nick has done wrong he needs to be re-ha-billy-tated so he can be good again-'

'Slow down, Pearls,' Miles interrupted, rubbing his temples. 'Let's go over this properly. Start from beginning and tell me what happened.'

She bit her quivering lip still.

'I-I woke up because I needed the bathroom,' Pearl explained, trying to recall every detail. She guessed Mr Ed-ji-worth would need it for her "test-tee-money" or something. 'I got up and went. As I walked past Mr Nick's room I heard him and Mystic Maya talking but they didn't scare me so I ignored them-'

Miles closed his eyes as he listened. Nothing out of the ordinary so far although it piqued his curiosity that Wright would be discussing something with Maya in the middle of the night, in his bedroom.

His eyes then flashed opened. Oh Christ... he already knew where this was going.

'-but then as I walked back,' Pearl went on, 'they weren't talking anymore. I heard a bang, and that scared me. Then I heard Mystic Maya scream-'

Miles clenched himself.

(This is definitely going where I think it is...)

'-a-and I know I should have run in to save her but I was too scared,' the tale continued. 'Mystic Maya was crying and Mr Nick was making... really weird noises. I-I never heard anything like it...!'

'Pearls, look-'

'Then they got a little louder, and I heard banging, a-and I was too scared to stop him, so, so...,' Pearl whispered. Then she burst into tears again, 'I ran away!'

She lurched forward to grab Edgeworth's arm.

'You have to go there, Mr Edge-ji-worth!' Pearl pleaded to him. 'You have to go and save Mystic Maya! B-but Mr Nick will have to go to jail, wouldn't he?' She wailed sorrowfully, 'I don't want Mr Nick to go to jail-'

'Pearls,' Edgeworth sighed, gently taking her shoulders and guiding her to sit back down. 'I know you're frightened but believe me when I say that what you heard was not what you think you heard.'

'W-what do you mean?'

He had to tread lightly here as he had no idea how much of the Facts of Life Maya had gone over with this little girl. For a nine-year-old she seemed a little too naive as most children her age, while not clued into the mechanics of procreation, had a good idea of what was going on. Pearl was very sheltered and it quickly became clear to Edgeworth that this whole thing was a mystery to her.

He sighed, 'Well...'

He stopped again. There was no way he was going to give Pearl "The Talk". No, Wright could do that! Or Maya... seeing as the practical applications would be still fresh in their memories.

All he would do right now is settle Pearl's fears.

'First of all,' Edgeworth began, 'I would like to clarify that I seriously doubt Wright was hurting Maya. To me it sounds like they were doing... something else.'

That was a good way to test the water, see whether Pearl could... guess. Wasn't she obsessed with their "romance"? Surely if she realised they were doing what "Mommies and Daddies who love each other very much" do, she'd be nothing but relieved?

But Pearl shook her head, 'I-I know I didn't see him hurt her but... why else would Mystic Maya be moaning like that, a-and how do you explain the banging?'

Edgeworth was certain his entire face was beetroot red now.

'W-well,' he stuttered. 'What do you know about love, Pearl?'

She sadly looked down. 'Nothing, it turns out...'

'Come on, tell me what you know about two people who are in love.'

Pearl sighed and looked up again. 'When two people are in love they'll do anything for each other, even if it means they might die. Then they get married, live happily ever after and have a dozen babies together...'

Another lamenting sigh escaped her lips.

'Poor Mystic Maya...'

Yes, poor Maya. It was hard not to feel a little sorry for her being the object of Pearl's traditional fantasies of what women do when they are in love. Twelve babies was a little excessive.

Edgeworth cleared his throat, 'So, you know where babies come from, right?'

'From their mother's tummies.'

That's something, at least. '…and you know how they get their, right?'

'They grow there, don't they?' Pearl asked, biting her thumb, confused. 'When I tried asking Mystic Maya and Mr Nick how babies get in there in the first place, they got all red and weird and said they'd tell me later... but they never did.'

(God, they were being childish! It was time they grew up and gave this kid the facts.)

Heaven knows what they were playing at. Hell, he wouldn't be surprised if they wussed out and made the spirit of Mia talk through it with Pearl. That woman simply was not allowed to rest in peace.

'Well, I'm going to tell you right now,' Edgeworth said determinedly. Then he thought better of it and backed down a little. 'By which I mean I'll answer the question but you can get them to tell you the rest-' since they like doing it so goddamn much, 'Basically all men have seeds inside them and that seed grows into a baby... so the man gives the woman a-' he cringed as he said the next phrase, '-special type of hug.'

Pearl rolled her eyes, 'That's what Mystic Maya said too but what does that mean? How can a hug make a baby grow? I-it doesn't make sense!'

He groaned, 'Look, you know the difference between boys and girls, right? What makes them especially different from each other?'

Pearl scowled, 'Of course I do! I-I'm not stupid, a-and you haven't called Scruffy Detective yet either! Mystic Maya needs to be helped - and Mr Nick, I-I know he can be "re-hab-billy-tated"!'

'That's it,' Edgeworth grumbled. 'I'm phoning them - where's my mobile!?'

He grabbed his cell phone and immediately pressed the button to speed dial Maya's phone. He turned to Pearl as it rang.

'I'm going to prove to you that Maya is fine-'

She picked up, 'Edgeworth?!'

'Good morning, Maya.'

Pearl gasped, 'I-is she okay? Is she hurt?'

'Why the hell are you calling me at... nearly two in the morning?! What's happened?'

Edgeworth heard Phoenix stirring in the background. To emphasise the point to Pearl, he hit speaker and placed his phone on the coffee table opposite them both. "What's he phoning about, Maya?" Phoenix croaked. "I don't know..." Maya muttered back.

Pearl gasped, 'Mystic Maya? Are you okay?!'

'W-what? Pearly-? Oh my God-'

She could be heard sitting up in bed, clearly panicked.

'Edgeworth... how is Pearl with you?'

'She snuck out to come to see me,' Edgeworth explained. 'She was... concerned about something.'

Again, Phoenix could be heard in the background. "What? Pearl snuck out-? What the hell was she think-" he began only to be hushed by Maya. "Oh shut up, Nick," she scolded him, clearly anxious:

'Is she okay?! Did... someone hurt her? I mean-she was safe in bed when I checked. Pearly! What the hell were you thinking?!'

The little girl started to cry again.

'I-I'm sorry, Mystic Maya!'

'She's at Edgeworth's?!' came Wright's bewildered commentary. 'What the fu-'

Edgeworth picked up the phone and spoke normally again. 'I'll fill you both in when you get here.'

'Right, we'll see you in ten.'

He heard the last few moments of Maya and Phoenix bickering at each other, dragging themselves from bed and clearly exasperated at the fact that a nine-year old had given them the slip and got out. He understood their fear; anything could have happened to her. It was frightening...

Unfortunately, Pearl was a very independent kid when it came to finding her way through bolted doors.

Edgeworth put the phone down again and folded his arms. 'Now are you convinced that Maya is all right?'

Pearl couldn't believe it. 'T-they sounded like they always do... except, they aren't usually awake this late at night...'

'They weren't, Pearl,' Edgeworth said. 'My call clearly woke them up.'

'But Mr Nick was with Mystic Maya,' she replied. 'Usually Mystic Maya-'

She paused for a moment, then gasped.

'D-does that mean that-?'

'Yes?'

'T-that Mystic Maya was asleep in Mr Nick's bedroom!'

Edgeworth nodded, 'Most probably. Now, do you think she would do that if he had hurt her?'

For the first time that night, Pearl's face had lit up with hope and delight again. She was clearly relieved beyond words, so relieved she was bouncing up and down on the sofa cushion gleefully.

'That means they still love each other,' she said happily. 'I-I've never known them do it before... so if anything, that means they love each other even more!'

He nodded, 'That's very possible.'

'B-because people who are in love sleep in the same bed together, don't they?' Pearl added. 'I know that! A-and then they kiss and stuff right?' she paused, biting her nails in anticipation, 'Hm, that is what they do, right?'

That would do for now; he had no intention of spelling it out for her.

'Something like that,' Edgeworth approved. 'I think that's what you heard, Pearl.'

'Oh I'm so relieved!' Pearl sighed happily. Then she realised how silly she had been and her mood dropped again, 'But now they're going to be angry because I ran off without telling them. That... that was really silly of me.'

'It was,' Edgeworth agreed, before he quickly added. 'In future, it would be better to just... knock on the bedroom door rather than run off into the night to come and ask me to arrest Wright.'

'O-oh I will!' she said determinedly. 'I know now that if I hear those noises, it'll be that, and I also now know to leave them be, so they can have their special alone time...'

That was a relief. At least she wasn't thinking of spying on them or something.

Finally, the young girl yawned as her tiredness caught up with her. It was then that Edgeworth decided it was time to simply wait patiently for Maya and Phoenix to arrive to collect her. So, he offered her a glass of water to tie her over and help pass the time.

Sure enough, the glass was half empty by the time there came banging at the door. It seemed Maya Fey had not registered that there was a door bell, so anxious she was to be reunited with her charge.

Miles Edgeworth greeted her at the door and stepped aside as she rushed in, hair completely down and loose, dressed only minimally in her sleeping top and bottoms. He had never seen her in anything other than her acolyte uniform or her new Master garments.

Wright looked the same as ever, even his hair was still pointy.

'Evening, Edgeworth,' he grumbled, also ready to scold Pearl too for this scare.

Maya wasted no time at all. Gripping the child's shoulders she anxiously asked her if she was hurt or touched by anyone while she wandering around the streets of LA alone. Pearl tearfully told her she had not, that she was fine.

Then the scolding began.

'What the hell did you think you were doing?' Maya snapped. 'Do you have any idea how scared we were? You know better than to run off into the streets at night alone, Pearl! What if something had happened to you?! How would we have known?!'

Once again, Pearl burst out crying. 'I-I-I... I'm so sorry, Mystic Maya!'

Maya took a breath of relief, then finished her scolding. 'Never, never ever do it again, Pearly! I mean it! Swear on Mystic Ami's ashes!'

'I swear, I swear!' Pearl whimpered, throwing her arms around her cousin. 'I'm so sorry, Mystic Maya.'

From the hallway, Phoenix and Miles watched. It was clear to him just how relieved Wright himself was by his deep intake of breath and his slouch against the wall.

'Thank God she was here safe,' he mumbled to himself and partly to Miles. 'Realising she wasn't at home scared the-' he then stopped, thought better of his choice of words and then began again, '-daylight out of me.'

He turned to look at Miles.

'I don't understand,' Phoenix continued. 'What was she doing here to begin with?'

Miles folded his arms, a brief smile flickering on his lips, 'Truth be told, she wanted me to arrest you.'

His rival's eyes widened, 'Huh?'

'She thought you were hurting Maya,' Miles explained further, 'and she got so frightened that she ran straight here to tell me to arrest you.'

'But why would she ever think I'd hurt Maya?!'

'She... overheard you.'

'What d'you mean? Overheard us what - arguing, or something?'

Phoenix Wright looked as bewildered as he did when confronted with surprise evidence that conflicted with his "brilliant" bluffs.

'I don't think Maya and I argued about anything today,' he continued, then adjusting his tone to a slightly jocular one. 'If anything we did a lot of agreeing...'

'Um,' Miles muttered under his breath, equally joshing. 'Sounds like you did.'

'What d'you mean?'

'Come now, Wright,' Mile scolded, raising an eyebrow. 'Your self-indulgent smile, that waggish expression you have and the fact you smell like Maya's lotus balm betrays what you've been up to.'

Phoenix scowled, '...and what are you implying?'

'That either you have been in intimate contact with someone who uses that brand of lotus balm, or you have taken to using women's skin care products.'

The attorney blinked.

Miles tapped his temple, smiling. 'Logic.'

'How did we get onto-?'

'You were asking why Pearl wanted you arrested,' Miles reminded him, weirdly amused. 'It was because she mistook your making love to Maya for a violent attack on her person.'

'I... see.'

'It is a common misconception for young children to have, although not usually as old as Pearl. She is quite naive for a girl of nine.' Miles then closed his eyes and shook his head, 'You really ought to man up and give her "The Talk".'

Phoenix could fell his cheeks flush.

He glanced at Maya and Pearl, still hugging affectionately.

In hindsight, it was a little dumb for him to have thought for one second he could have hidden the fact he and Maya had started sleeping together from Pearl. Hell, they had only done so to stop her getting overly excited!

Not once had Phoenix considered that she might hear them, though, let alone misunderstand what they were doing. He felt very guilty for having upset Pearl, even though he hadn't done anything wrong in itself.

He finally turned back to Miles.

Miles raised an eyebrow, as if to ask "Well, don't you agree?"

Damn his "Logic"!

'Duly noted, Edgeworth,' was all Phoenix said.