Written for Gratsu Week 2016, Day 2: Heart. Enjoy!
~Natsu: 8 years old, Gray: 9 years old~
"What are you doing there?"
Gray winced at the voice coming from behind his back. He thought he'd made sure that he wasn't being followed, but of course, Natsu would still find a way to sneak behind him. He should really stop behaving predictable. He'd start with that tomorrow. For now, he needed to hide what he'd engraved in the bark of the tree in front of him from Natsu's prying eyes. He turned around sharply, then stretched out his arms and pushed his back against the stem, shooting Natsu a vicious glance.
"Leave me alone, stupid flame-brain!"
Of course Natsu didn't comply. Instead, he grabbed Gray's shoulders and shoved him aside easily. Gray hated that Natsu's physical strength exceeded his. He was about one year older than Natsu, so this really ate at his pride. But what was more important now was that Natsu was staring wide-eyed at the heart engraved into the bark.
"Oh. A heart. You... Are you in love?" As Gray's face heated up, the confusion in Natsu's expression shifted to amusement. "Awww, Popsicle is in looooveee~" he sneered, pursing his lips, making kissing sounds and generally just being an asshole - like always.
Natsu was so caught up in mocking Gray that he didn't see his fist coming. When it hit him hard on the head, he was slammed to the ground, a whine escaping his throat. He jumped to his feet, ready to punch Gray, but when he saw his rival looking at him with a dead serious face, he paused.
"I'm not in love. Not yet, anyway. And being in love isn't something that anyone should make fun of. It's a good thing." He sighed and turned towards the marked tree. "One day I will fall in love, and then I'll engrave the name of that person in this heart. Ur said this will bring me luck." When he turned around again, he found Natsu staring at him in awe.
"I want to do that, too!"
"Tch. As if anyone would ever want to go out with you."
"Oh, and what about you? I can't imagine some girl wanting to have a stripping popsicle as her boyfriend!"
"You bet."
"Are you challenging me?"
"Huh? No, that was not my intention."
"You're afraid! Scaredy-cat!"
Gray was growing annoyed. How could Natsu take this so lightly? Did he not know what love meant? Then again, he was Natsu. He didn't take anything seriously - besides the search for his father.
"Do whatever you want. I'm not turning this into a challenge, idiot."
~Natsu: 13 years old, Gray: 14 years old~
Gray felt like a total failure. He'd come to this place every single day for the past three weeks. Every day he approached the tree with Natsu's angular heart engraved, he was afraid to find some name in the middle of it, only to find it still empty like it had been the day before. First, relief would flood his body, but then sadness would take over not a second later. He was still not quite sure about his feelings, although he was very certain that it would make him happy to see his own name adorning the awkwardly shaped heart.
He sighed. He was actually looking forward to their upcoming mission. At least it would keep him from checking Natsu's tree every day. And it also meant that he was around his flame-brain nearly all the time. Even though they would end up fighting, he enjoyed every second of his company.
~Natsu: 18 years old, Gray: 19 years old~
It was getting ridiculous. He'd tried to refrain from checking Natsu's tree regularly, but it turned out to be impossible. At first he'd agreed with himself on coming here once a month, but the long wait was killing him and he hadn't made it two weeks. Then he'd decided on once per week and it had worked pretty well, but after Natsu had brought Lucy to their guild, he'd grown much more nervous; despite his former conviction that he couldn't possibly be more anxious about it. He'd broken all his self-imposed rules to torture himself by running into the woods on a daily basis at the beginning whenever they weren't on a mission. He'd relaxed when a few months after Lucy's arrival there was still no name engraved. It could've been that Natsu was in love but withholding the name from... well, the tree. Gray was sure that Natsu didn't know about him very nearly stalking his tree. Plus he was still thinking this was a competition and even though they hadn't talked about it for quite a while, Gray was sure that Natsu was still hell-bent on winning it. There was no reason to not engrave the name of his beloved in this tree - unless Gray was the one he was in love with.
He shook his head violently. No merit in thinking about this for the umpteenth time. He always came to the conclusion that there was no way Natsu would ever fall in love with him, and it always left him feeling hollow inside.
So for now, he stopped thinking and just did what he'd come here for in the first place: To engrave Natsu's name in his own tree. He was more than certain now that his feelings towards Natsu were far deeper than admiration and friendship. He'd been certain for some years already, but he'd always been too much of a coward to let anyone know, including his tree. However, he'd gradually come to the conclusion that taking the risk and accepting the possibility of ruining their friendship over it was better than being uncertain, always having to wonder what could be if he had the courage to tell him. One day Natsu would probably come here again. He would just have to wait.
When he'd finished, he turned on his heels and ran away without looking back. He didn't want to give himself time to freak out.
Gray had been behaving strangely for two weeks already. Did he think that Natsu wasn't going to notice? Maybe not that absurd of an assumption. Natsu himself was rather shocked that he had indeed noticed. It wasn't as if Gray's behavior had changed that much. The signs that he was a bit jumpy were very subtle. His eyes widened just a bit more than usual when somebody called his name. He avoided eye contact with Natsu as best as he could. But it wasn't like their eyes met all that often anyway. Why was he so aware of Gray's behavior then? He really didn't know.
It was unnerving that despite his best efforts to find out what was wrong with the ice mage, he hadn't found out yet. He had even tried talking, but that had resulted in Gray blushing and cutting off their conversation with an obviously made up excuse.
This night when he'd lain awake, racking his brains over the ice mage, a new idea had popped up in his head. He hadn't thought about it for a long time, but what if Gray had fallen in love? He'd decided that he'd pay their 'love trees', what he secretly called them, a visit today. He hadn't been there for a year already.
'Natsu'
His heart leaped at the sight of his name engraved in the middle of Gray's love tree. He couldn't help but stare at it, lost in thoughts. Memories were flashing through his head. Gray staring at him and quickly turning away when he was caught. Gray flinching at the accidental brush of their hands. Gray's elevated pulse whenever he was close to Natsu. Gray distracting Natsu whenever he was feeling down. Even though this most of the time included fighting or at least bickering, it was a very considerate and caring thing to do. Now all the times when Gray had seemingly blushed without a reason made perfect sense. All the little nice gestures that Natsu thought were meant to bully him into feeling like he owed Gray - he had done all these because he really cared. And most of the time Natsu had been a total asshole about it. He groaned. How had he been so blind?
But now he needed to think of a solution. He needed to tell Gray that this wasn't going to work out. How was he going to accomplish that without losing him as a friend? Because that wasn't something he could bear. Even just thinking about losing Gray's friendship made him feel suffocated.
'Hey, Gray, I'm totally cool with you being in love with me, but I don't feel the same. Let's just continue being best friends and pretend nothing happened.' Like hell he could say something like that. He'd needed to think this through, come up with a good way to approach the topic. He didn't want to hurt Gray, but he knew that was impossible. His chest clenched painfully at the thought of him breaking Gray's heart. The pain was so overwhelming that he sank to his knees, and his hand clenched the fabric over his heart.
Erza, Lucy, Happy, Gray, and Natsu were on a mission and sleeping together in one room on the floor, each of them wrapped in a sleeping bag - except for Gray, obviously. He was wearing only pants, sleeping sprawled out on the thin tatami mat. Natsu was the only one still awake.
Two weeks after his discovery in the woods near Magnolia had passed. He'd paid more attention to Gray and his behavior since that day, and had noticed that despite his effort to act rudely towards him, he actually put Natsu first and was very considerate about him. Always.
He wondered how that felt - being in love. He sometimes overheard people talking about it, but he couldn't quite imagine how it felt. Maybe it was something only somebody who'd already been in love could understand. He sighed. He'd like to know how he made Gray feel. Happy, he guessed. At least that was something he could understand. Thinking that he made Gray happy simply because of his presence made him smile involuntarily. His stomach felt strangely warm, but he ignored it.
Gray was lying on his front, so Natsu had a free view of his back and his - Natsu gulped - ass. The tight pants left nearly nothing to imagination. Why he was feeling the urge to run his hands over Gray's backside, he had no idea. But he knew that it was probably not a good idea to follow the impulse. Was his mind playing tricks on him, now that he knew about the feelings of the ice mage?
Gray's stirring snapped him out of his reverie. He turned around quickly and pretended to be asleep, while staring wide-eyed at Lucy's sleeping form, his heart pounding heavily. He was probably failing miserably.
He heard Gray shift his position, but since there were no sheets around him, it was hard to tell from sounds only how much he'd turned and which position he was in now. It was silent for a few minutes before Gray's whisper broke the silence.
"Natsu? You awake?"
Natsu hesitantly turned around to face Gray, and found that he was propped up on his elbow, eyeing Natsu curiously. Oh god, had he been awake all this time? Had he noticed that Natsu had been staring at him? He was grateful that Gray wouldn't be able to make out the blush that was creeping into his cheeks in the semi-darkness. He mirrored Gray's position, hyper-aware of the proximity his rolling over had caused.
"Can't sleep, huh?" Gray whispered.
Natsu made a non-committal sound. He found that their closeness was highly distracting. Moving away would be a solution, but his body wasn't listening. He just needed to stretch out his free hand-
"Everything alright?" You look a bit distraught."
Natsu gulped. He wasn't so sure anymore if everything was alright or not. He was seriously confused. Best to just ask, then.
"Do you know how it feels to be in love?" he whispered back. An unnecessary question, but he didn't want Gray to learn that he knew about his feelings. He must be blushing right now. I'd love to see that...
"Uh. Y- yeah... I do..." He bit his lower lip, and Natsu's focus immediately shifted, as if drawn in by a magnet. He wondered how it would feel if he were the one biting it...
"Could you... describe it?" he managed with shaking breath.
"Natsu... the others could hear us..."
He paused for a second and took in the sounds of the others. Erza was snoring slightly, Happy was whispering something about fish like a mantra, and Lucy was quiet except for her even breathing. Erza and Happy were most definitely asleep then, but with Lucy you never knew. She had always been a quiet sleeper. Natsu knew he wouldn't mind Lucy overhearing their whispered conversation; she was like a sister to him.
"Then whisper more quietly."
Gray sighed in defeat, and then inched closer. He stopped only a centimeter before their elbows touched. He was in kissing range now, and a part of Natsu had expected Gray to lean forward and do exactly that - kiss him. And I would've allowed it. God, he was such a mess.
"Fine. It feels... like he-" Gray paused, and cleared his throat silently- "ah, I mean, the one you're in love with is your whole world." His whisper was barely audible, so Natsu turned his head to bring his ear closer to Gray's mouth. "The most important person. You'd do everything to make them happy, ease their pain, keep them safe. It's like you're magically drawn to them." As if on cue, Natsu moved his head just a bit more in Gray's direction - Gray was whispering really quietly.
"That person makes you feel warm and happy, but you're also nervous and unsure around them... Though I think the latter two will probably diminish when you know that the other loves you back..." His voice was shaky and his breath ragged. Gray was extremely nervous right now. And, god help him, Natsu was, too. His heart was beating so hard that Natsu thought it was trying to escape the captivity of his chest.
Gray gulped, but went on. "You want to... touch them so badly, you can hardly think of anything else when they're close to you. The desire to kiss... is maddening."
Natsu's body had started moving on its own volition. He slowly moved towards Gray and brushed his lips against his, just slightly. The touch was electrifying, sending a shiver down his spine. His whole body started to quiver and he couldn't maintain the kiss anymore. His arm gave in and he slumped down on his back, his mind reeling. When he opened his eyes, Gray was right there, still propped up on his elbow, but much closer now. So close that his arm was pressed against Gray's chest.
"Natsu... are you okay?"
Okay? He was a hell lot more than 'okay'. He couldn't remember ever being happier than he was now.
"I... saw your tree."
"Yeah, I figured."
"I was so sure that I'd have to reject you because I didn't feel the same... but now... I don't know. I'm so confused... I think I need time to figure out what I feel. But I'm really happy right now. I want to hug you, hold you close. Is that alright?"
Gray was smiling at him now. "More than alright." He slowly lowered himself on top of Natsu, waiting for him to protest, but instead he was met with arms embracing him and pulling him flush against Natsu's body. He rested his head in the crook of Natsu's neck, and let out a content sigh.
"I like this... can we sleep like this?" he asked sheepishly.
"Yes, of course, Natsu."
"Mmm... but I swear, if you hit me in your sleep, I'm going to kick your ass."
Gray let out a small chuckle. "Shh. You're going to wake the girls and Happy."
Little did they know that Erza and Lucy were already wide awake, smiling like mad at each other.
Natsu and Gray shifted their position many times before they found a comfortable one, but never did they let go of each other.
They woke the next morning with their limbs still entangled.
They hadn't become a couple that night, since Natsu had explicitly asked for Gray to be patient with him. However, Gray was flirting openly since then, which Natsu found to be a huge distraction. Once he'd even walked into a closed door because Gray was smiling at him from across the room. Gray had burst out in laughter and mocked him the whole day for it.
About a month after their shared night, Gray found himself being pulled by the hand into the woods. The grip was warm and firm, and when Natsu turned around and gave him a warm smile, he knew:
This was going to be a good day.
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