Extreme Glee Makeover

"We'll be gone for the week, there's money in the cash jar for food, everything's stocked, your clothes are washed, there's toilet paper in..." Carol was hushed by Kurt.

"We got it! Finn and I will be fine. You two just relax and have fun on your honeymoon," said Kurt, as he and Finn stood at the door with their parents in their new house.

"Are you sure you two are okay... we could wait until the house is set up..." Finn cut Burt off.

"You guys are total spazes... We got it covered... Kurt knows the emergency contacts, I know where the shot gun is, and we have out mattresses to sleep on... we're perfectly fine," said Finn confidently.

"Rifle?" asked Carol, her eyes wide.

"If you want you two can paint your rooms or something," said Burt, "I left the credit card in the money jar... use it sparingly if you two want to do your rooms... Carol and I have only got five thousand on there and that's for the whole house, not one designer curtain, Kurt."

"Okay I was sixteen and it was only $200," said Kurt with an eye roll then a smile, "Good bye, and have a fun time."

"Fine, stop being so pushy," laughed Burt as he and Carol we're shoved out of the door, "Love you guys."

"We love you too," said Kurt, as Carol gave them both a kiss goodbye.

"Behave yourselves!" yelled Carol as she and Burt headed to the car, "Call us if anything happens... and don't you dare touch any rifle!"

"Finally!" sighed Finn in relief as the car drove off and he and Kurt headed back into the house.

"Gaga... how long did it take them to say good-bye," said Kurt, slumping on the couch with a sigh.

"Two hours... I'm glad they get to go on a honeymoon, though," said Finn.

"I'm glad too... glad I transferred home and glad that the money that was being saved for Dalton was put to good use," said Kurt as he turned on the television that was propped in the corner.

"You know what... I kind of want to paint my room..." said Finn, looking at all the boxes.

"... okay... I'll help," smiled Kurt, turning off the television as they got up from the couch, "Do you want to go to Quinn's Paint and Wall Paper or Sherwim-Williams?"

"Quinn's is closer... but isn't SW having a sale or something, Burt was talking about it being on the television..."

.=.=.=

"Yeah, but Quinn's is having a buy one get one free sale," said Kurt as they stood in the isle of house paint.

"Yup... this works... hey what do you think of this color?" asked Finn, holding up a bucket.

"Too dark..."

"This one?"

"Too brown..."

"What about this one?"

"Pink?"

"I just wanted to see if you we're actually listening," said Finn.

"What color is your carpet?" asked Kurt.

"Ugly..." said Finn with a laugh.

"I got an idea... why don't we go to Sherwin-Williams, look at some sample carpets and then come back here and get the paint," said Kurt, a glint in his eyes.

"I thought we we're told not to go overboard," said Finn, brow raised as Kurt dragged him out of the store.

"If we can get a carpet for your room under fifty, they'll be more impressed than annoyed..." said Kurt, beaming.

"Okay..."

.=.=.

"Wow!" said Finn, looking up at the large rolls of sample carpets.

"Okay Finn, you start on that end, and I'll start on this one... any particular color you want?" asked Kurt, looking at a soft woven gray carpet.

"Something cool," said Finn, looking at a soccer one.

"If I see you even touch it... we are leaving," said Kurt, following his brother's gaze.

"... I was just looking," said Finn, headed towards the other end of the wall.

Kurt looked from cream to red to blue... he sighed, and caught the glimpse of something green hued in the back. However the carpets on either side of him ended up settling near his waist. He froze and went to stand up... he couldn't move... he pushed... nothing... he pulled... nadda... he panicked... that was definitely not helping at all. He began to kick with his legs, hoping to propel out... really he just looked like his legs we're flailing or her was attempting to swim in the air... he thought about yelling for Finn, but he really didn't want to cause a scene in the middle of the store.

"Hummel?" came a familiar voice, Kurt froze and groaned.

It figured as much. Of all the people in Lima... hell in Ohio. This was the person to show up when Kurt was stuck in a carpet pit with his butt in the air... this was just horrible... seriously... how the hell could this get worse. Kurt froze... he should say something to validate it was him before the person left and he'd be stuck again. Before Kurt could, he felt a hand on his waist as the carpet began to loosed around it. He was pulled out stumbled into his 'rescuer,'... fully aware who it was and that his face was a bright red.

"Can I ask... how?" asked Dave Karofsky, with a raised brow and a smirk.

"I'd like to know how long you've stared at my ass to recognize it in a carpet pile?" asked Kurt, pushing away from Dave and dusting himself off, he heard Dave mutter something, "What?"

"I said... I recognized your boots," said Dave, though he wasn't meeting Kurt's eyes.

"... that's even worse..." said Kurt with a laugh

Finn stood on the other side of the carpet wall, he was still looking at the first one... mentally picturing how much damage it could take... if soda would show... would he be able to leave something on it without leaving an imprint right away... he heard Kurt laugh and leaned to look down the isle. Kurt was talking to someone in a blue vest, one of the employees it seemed. Finn rolled his eyes and smiled, now that Kurt had a boyfriend his confidence had increased a lot... he was much more open about everything... though sometimes this annoyed Finn.

"Sup Hudson," came the person who'd been talking to Kurt, Finn stood straight up and looked to where the person in blue, now identified as Karofsky, gave him a slight wave and went back to talking to Kurt.

Finn was next to them in a flash, hell it even made them take a double take. Finn smiled, keeping his best not to scowl, and remain civil... though it seemed Kurt and Dave had already managed that, as they both shrugged and went back to their topics of discussion.

"So... Santana convinced me to research it some more... and I was wondering how you planned on starting it?" asked Dave, he looked uneasy and uncomfortable, but didn't even register Finn next to him.

"Well, Figgins already gave us the go-ahead, so we should be fine. Then we tell people about it... get them to come... and hope that enough people show up to keep it going. I know Glee will come and you could get some of the jocks by telling them Santana made you," said Kurt, casually.

"What are you guys talking about?" asked Finn, Dave looked at Kurt quickly.

"Nothing," both responded.

"So..." said Finn, "You work here?"

"Uh... yeah... Assistant Manager in training actually," Dave looked in a serious conflict to run or not.

"Well..." said Kurt after a moment, "Care to help us then?"

"Uh... yeah... carpet?" asked Dave, clearing his throat.

"I was... uh looking at the teal one in the back..." said Kurt, pointing towards the roll, and attempting to focus and forget his incident.

"The Kelly Green plush, got it," said Dave, quickly going over to the carpets to get away from the odd tension.

"What do you think of that color?" asked Kurt, trying to focus on the carpet at hand.

"I dunno... it might be too green..." said Finn, with a sigh... he didn't like it at all.

"Ohm... what do you need it for exactly?" asked Dave, attempting to become his professional self again.

"Finn's room... its getting a makeover at the new house..." said Kurt.

"No more cowboy wallpaper... such a tragedy," said Dave with a small snicker, Kurt waved Finn off before he could retort as Dave continued, "Are we going for grown up or what?"

"Fun and mature," said Kurt as Finn thought it over.

"How about... Willow or Celery walls... and Mocha carpet..." suggested Dave, "The Mocha's 50% off anyways..."

"What's mocha.. or willow... I'm confused," said Finn, whispering to Kurt.

"I was thinking Ivory... for the walls," said Kurt, taking a moment to recover from Dave's knowledge of colors.

"Accents?" asked Dave, Kurt walked off towards Dave, leaving Finn to follow behind them to another carpet section.

"I'm both shocked and amazed at your knowledge of the color charts," said Kurt with a smirk.

"I may not know who that Eva Fish chick is, but I know my colors," said Dave as they looked at a mocha carpet.

"Eve Harrington..." corrected Kurt with a groan, it was still Karofsky after all... whether Kurt was planning on being a mentor or not he needed to remember that.

.=.=.

"I'm still confused on what's happening..." said Finn, standing in what was going to be his room.

"What's confusing you Finn?" asked Kurt, as he put tape on the trim.

"A lot... Like.. what's the difference between white and ivory... why is mocha not just called light brown... and most importantly... why the hell is Karofsky here?" asked Finn, shrugging with his paint roller.

"We needed help," said Kurt, then whispered to Finn, "And he needs a creative outlit..."

"... fine..." said Finn.

"HEY FURT! You home!" came Puck's voice from downstairs as the door slammed shut.

"Furt Hudmel is home!" yelled Finn, Dave looked at Kurt with a raised brow.

"Long story," said Kurt, it wasn't, but he didn't care to tell it... ever.

"It's like a maze to get up... why is Karofsky here?" asked Puck with a glare.

"To make you uncomfortable," said Dave, rolling paint on the wall.

"We're painting Finn's room and we needed help. Then we ran into Dave when we bought the carpet... and we'll need help putting that in..." said Kurt, with a smile.

"I can put carpet in," said Puck, tossing his bag outside the room, " AND I can paint... but you couldn't call me... that's a nice color carpet..."

"...Dave picked it out," said Finn sadly, Kurt nodded.

.=.=.

"So... now it has too dry..." said Kurt as he, Dave, Finn, and Puck stood by the door.

"Hello?" came Blaine's voice from downstairs.

"Up here!" yelled Kurt.

"You know... it's still early... we could start Kurt's room..." said Puck, leaning across the hallway.

.=.=. The Next Day.=.=

"So did you say red or orange," said Puck on his cell phone as he and Blaine stood in the Sherwin-Williams' pain isle.

"Apricot... I said Apricot," said Dave angrily in the phone, "It's orange... no where near red... Let's not have the Claret mishap again!"

"Okay, so we've painted my room and yours... re-carpeted yours... painted the guest room and master bedroom... So far we've spent..." Kurt looked at his calculator, "$145.92... that's brilliant!"

"So... how much is the bathroom going to cost?" asked Rachel, coming out of the master bathroom.

"Since the master bedroom is Mulberry... their bathroom is going to be Apricot with marble tiles..." Kurt ranted.

"Do you think we're going overboard?" asked Finn, "I mean... I know we went on the DIY network kick last week... but are you sure we're doing this right?"

"Finn... we have everything under control. We have Blaine and Puck at Sherwin-William's getting stuff, and Quinn and Mercedes at the other store comparing prices... then Tina and Santana are at Walmart... we've got it all under control," said Kurt, "Also... we have everyone helping... we're fine... besides... this is fun!"

"... my brother's lost it..." said Finn, as Brittany carried pillows into Kurt's room.

"This is really fun... it's like playing Barbie Dream house," beamed Brittany.

.=.=. TWO DAYS LATER =.=.

"Kurt... this has gotten WAY out of hand..." said Kurt, standing in their newly painted kitchen.

"No... what's out of hand is the person who left Rachel and Santana with the grout..." said Kurt, as Rachel was rinsing her face off in the yard.

"Kurt... I think... we should maybe call it quits..." said Finn, just then the door opened.

"I don't know why the hell I'm even involved in this bull shit..." grumbled Azimio, "I got the damn plants pretty boy!"

"That's great... This is so much fun Kurt!" yelled Blaine running by them wearing a dirty t-shirt, muddy jeans, and gloves.

"Your boyfriends gone garden nuts..." said Finn.

"Well..." shrugged Kurt, "At least when our parents come home the whole house will be done..."

.=.=.

"I am exhausted..." said Puck, "And hungry..."

They all laid around on the now furnished living room floor now clean after taking showers and changing. But it had been one week and the whole house was pretty much done as Kurt calculated the final costs... the television was off and everyone was slowly crashing.

"Perfect!" yelled Kurt, startling a few of the sleepy workers, "We spent $3,951! That's fantastic... and that includes the pizza I ordered."

"You ordered food," said Lauren quickly, just as the bell rang and Finn answered it.

"Really?" Sam stood there, his arms crossed, "A fifty dollar tip?"

"Sam's here!" yelled Kurt, "Glad you could make it..."

"Is everyone here?" asked Sam, looking sullen.

"Yeah, that's why we made sure we we're your last delivery... welcome to the party... or... slump!" said Kurt.

.=.=.

"Burt... is this our house?" asked Carol as they pulled into the driveway, a new mailbox with Hummel-Hudson on it.

"I... think so..." said Burt, looking at the new porch lights.

"I think... I think we're in the twilight zone... you know.. the episode where they walked into an alternate universe," said Carol, holding Burt's arm, "What if we walk through that door and Kurt and Finn are girls and we're there... and we're opposite genders and..."

"Carol... the likelihood of that is pretty slim, hun," said Burt as they walked up the now flowered walkway, "Although not unlikely."

.=.=.

"Do you like it!" asked Kurt fifteen minutes later from where Carol and Burt stood in shock in the doorway.

"I don't... wow..." said Carol.

"Carol?"

"Yeah Burt..."

"Let's go on vacation more often... we may get a swimming pool out of it," said Burt, she nodded, "Though I'm still not ruling out the Twilight zone... no... not yet..."

THE END