Dusk was his favourite time of the day. The only time he felt any kind of magic in the air.
Dean sat on the porch of the 2-bit motel, beer in hand, looking out at the sky. The marriage of day and night, consummated by the fall of the night.
He gave up so much through his life. He mentally listed the things he would never feel; the love, security and dedication of a woman; the undiluted joy and pleasure that came with holding your child; the ease and comfort of a normal life, without constantly looking over your shoulder, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
There were an abundance of things Dean would never have. He could recite his fate to you like the pledge of allegiance. He would die young and alone, with no heirs, no widow, and no one to mourn him but Sam.
Sam.
Being an older brother had never been easy. His father had always told him to watch out for Sam and the sentiment became his life's work. He was his brother's keeper and that's the way it was always going to be.
It felt like a lifetime ago, but Dean had fallen in love once. She was a hunter. She was a goddess.
He still thought about her all the time, imagining what their lives would have been had he not left in the middle of the night.
He never meant to hurt her.
He just couldn't see a life in which he could protect both her and Sam.
If he ever had to make a decision, he'd have to choose his brother.
He just didn't know if he could if she was the other option.
So he left her after dusk. After the magic had settled in the air. After she had fallen asleep.
And he knew she never forgave him. But he'd never forgiven himself either.
So he protected his brother as best as he could.
Because in the end, his brother would be the only one he left behind.