Splinters

by sandydragon

Karura attempts to cope with Sasori's departure, but no matter how hard she tries memories of him continue to haunt her. When he finally reappears, she can no longer attempt to keep her emotions in check. Her loss of control one night leads to life creating and changing consequences. Prequel to Mother

It has been years since Sasori left the village, but somehow he has managed to keep himself firmly entrenched in my thoughts all of these years. He left with little warning, but I can guess why he abandoned the village. Sasori and the third kazekage had never gotten along well, so Sasori never really was loyal to him. With his parents dead, Sasori only had Chiyo to take care of him. Always a bit of a loner, Sasori never had many friends. He had been one of my best friends before he left, but even I had trouble coaxing smiles out of him sometimes. I used to tell myself that Sasori would be happier if he could just find someone to turn to since he always seemed so withdrawn, but in the end even I wasn't enough to keep him in the village.

Briefly after Sasori left, the kazekage disappeared. Nobody knew where he had gone. Search parties were sent out by the dozens, but not a trace of the kazekage was ever found. With him gone, I kept expecting Sasori to come back. I thought he would brush off his absence as if it were nothing when asked about it. Perhaps his absence was a joke on the village much like the pranks Chiyo plays on her brother regarding her death. But Sasori was never much of a joker. As the months slipped on by, it became clear that he had no intention of returning. I had to move on just as the village had to move on from its own, more recent loss.

In the months that followed the kazekage's disappearance, everything began to fall apart. Takeo eventually became the kazekage, but he was appointed far too late to stop the war from coming. At times the war helped keep Sasori out of my mind, but more often than not it brought old memories back to haunt me. Even something as tiny as the stance of an enemy could drag dozens of memories to the surface. I kept expecting to feel Sasori's back pressed up against mine to keep my enemies off of my back only to realize that it was another man who was shielding me now. Unlike Sasori, Takeo had a tendency to dive straight into any battle. While Sasori used to manipulate his puppets from the outskirts of the battlefield, Takeo took a more active role in most battles. Even though his gold dust was just as useful as Sasori's puppets used to be, it drew attention in ways that used to make Sasori grimace in disgust. Takeo may be a bit of a flashy showoff, but at least he always made it known that he was there for me. For a while, I remained oblivious to the exact reason why Takeo tended to show up near me often, but eventually he made his motives known.

When I was in a medical tent for a few nights because of a particularly nasty cut in my arm that was threatening to get infected, Takeo visited me often. Sasori and I used to tend to each others wounds whenever we were injured, but Takeo didn't know any medical jutsu. Instead of healing my physical wounds, Takeo tried to mend my wounded heart. When I woke up screaming from a nightmare about Sasori slowly dying in the desert, Takeo held me in his arms until I calmed down. He could have stopped there. Shinobi need to learn to cope when their friends die after all. But Takeo didn't stop there. He stayed by my side and told me that he was confident that I would recover. He even told me that I was so much braver than him that nothing could ever destroy my courage completely. I still don't know what made me Takeo compliment me like that especially since his arrogance was known to be one of the few things that really ticked Sasori off. From then on, the two of us began to share our stories with each other bit by bit. Even after the war ended, we stayed close. Once he finally brought himself to confess how much he loved me, we became inseparable.

Even though he is usually beaming with confidence, Takeo was a nervous wreck when he proposed to me. If the moment hadn't been so important, I probably would have died laughing as Takeo stammered out one of the most equally loved and dreaded questions of all time. I could have sworn Takeo was ready to cut his tripping tongue out in favor of just writing out the question which was clearly choking him. It had been ages since Sasori had crossed my mind, but he immediately sprang into my thoughts as I watched Takeo. Sasori had never even gotten the confidence the confidence to ask me out even though he seemed to have deep feelings for me. As much as Takeo struggled with getting that faithful question past his lips, I honestly think Sasori would have fainted in that position. When I said yes, the elation on Takeo's face was enough to drive Sasori out of my thoughts.

From watching Sasori work on his puppets, I know more than almost anyone that splinters can be almost impossible to remove once they pierce the skin. It takes a lot of tugging to remove them and even once they have been successfully extracted, the wounds they leave are sometimes prone to infection. My memories of Sasori have been like splinters since he left, but my feelings for him have proven to be more stubborn than the worst of splinters. By the time Temari was born my mind was focused completely on my family and even Kankuro's birth did little to change that. I was told his chakra control would make him an excellent puppeteer someday. Needless to say, that made me wistfully wish that Sasori could meet Kankuro. Sasori had never taken on a student of his own, but I think he secretly wished for someone to pass his jutsu down to. By that point though, my thoughts of Sasori were infrequent enough that they hardly bothered me. Sasori's reappearance on the other hand completely shattered any hopes I had about getting over him.

Not long after Shukaku was successfully captured, Takeo and I celebrated the mission's completion. The demon had been slaughtering most of the people who had been sent to seal it, so Takeo was more than a little relieved to have that particular problem solved. The two of us wound up drinking way too much though. While Takeo eventually passed out, I ended up wandering outside the village. I almost had a heat attack when Sasori found me. The two of us were so excited to see each other that we both ended up trampling each others sentences as we tried to catch up. After we had finished telling each other our stories, Sasori and I each expressed how much we had missed each other. At first that expression was entirely verbal, but the longing that had been building up over the years absolutely refused to let it stay that way. Long story short, Sasori is the reason I am going to have a third child.

Takeo thinks the baby is his, but I know better. Chiyo told me that the baby's father could only be Sasori judging from his chakra signature, but I can't tell Takeo that. That would break his heart. Then again, the doctors think that Shukaku will kill me when my son is born. I don't know if this is the universe's way of punishing me for missing Sasori so much even after I was married, but that doesn't matter now. The splinter of my longing for Sasori has finally been extracted, but it has left a bloodthirsty monster in its place. Now I can only hope that my son will survive and live a love filled life. There is no way I can tell Takeo that my last child won't be his or else my son will end up suffering even more. As much as I wish I hadn't betrayed Takeo the way I did, this last child is too precious to risk. It is true that he is the product of a mistake, but that isn't his fault nor can I blame Sasori too much for what he has done. No matter what happens to me, I hope that no one else suffers just because of one night of weakness.