Lovesick
Summary: Looks like Mary Sue is in for a rude awakening.
Starring: Legolas, Aragorn, and Gimli
Story by Sylvia
March 2003
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters listed above, they are the sole property of J.R.R. Tolkien, as far as I know. I make no profit from this, it's only for fun.
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When the orcs had begun to attack, the maiden Karen had insisted that the children be saved first. She piled each and every child in the village onto the nearest wagon, refused to climb aboard herself. The driver of the wagon, old Abraham, pleaded with her, "Milady! You must come with us! The orcs are closing in, and this is the last wagon to leave the village!"
"I am sorry, my dear Abraham, but I cannot," her response was simple as she stared off into the city that was already starting to burn.
"But why?" Abraham had climbed into the driver's seat, his wrinkled face scrunched up in worry. The children were crying behind him in the flat- bedded wagon.
"I must wait. for he will come for me." she seemed distant, as though in another world.
"For who? The dark rider Death to come pick you up?" the old man spat out. He could not wait much longer for this crazy woman to make up her mind, he had a wagon-full of children to worry about.
"I must wait for him here." she walked off in the direction of the flames, oblivious to the cries of the children and the laughter of the orcs in the distance as they destroyed the city.
"Crazy." Abraham trailed off as he picked up the reigns and thundered out of the city.
Karen walked listlessly down the street and into certain danger. She could not explain why she felt she needed to be here, but something deep down in her heart told her she must stay. The dark shadows swept in a large mass between the buildings, setting fire to every one they encountered, their hideous laughter echoed up into the dark starless sky. Terror suddenly gripped Karen's heart, and she leapt into the nearest building she could find to reach safety from the evil creatures, a now abandoned inn.
The building was a mess from where the owners had scurried to flee from the invading orcs. Tables had been thrown aside, chairs tipped over, everything of worth that they could carry had quickly been rushed out to safety. She found the bar and hunched down on her knees behind it to keep from being seen. She waited quietly, quick pants of breath escaping her lips. From outside she heard their heavy feet smack against the cobblestone roads as they came toward the inn. She could see their bestial snouts reflected from the blazing fires behind them. One of the taller ones called out orders in their terrible tongue, and then kicked in the front door. Karen could not suppress a gasp as the heavy wooden door careened across the floor, toppling a nearby pile of chairs. Three shorter orcs moved in cautiously, clubs and knives at the ready. They kicked aside a few more chairs and tables as they made their way closer to the bar.
Karen clutched her hand over her mouth lest she make noise, as tears streamed down her cheeks. She stared at the ceiling as her mind chanted what she thought to be true: iMy prince will come for me, My prince will come for me,./i One of the orcs sniffed the air, and shaking his head in disgust, ordered the other two to come in from the sides of the bar. They knew where she was hiding.
One of the orcs leaped onto the bar, shattering glasses and crying a ferocious snarl. The maiden Karen screamed as she leapt to her feet. The other two orcs ran around from the sides of the bar with weapons raised.
"Help! Someone save me!" Karen screamed as the hideous orcs closed in on her. Then she heard a command from the front of the room.
"Let the woman go!" The orcs stopped and turned in question as three arrows flew through the air, each finding an orcish skull. Karen stared starry-eyed at the creature that stood before her. He was dressed all in greens and browns, his radiant blond hair falling gracefully over his shoulders. He rushed up to her, examining her from head to toe. "Well, you are not injured, why are you still standing there? What are you waiting for?"
Karen allowed the first words she thought fall from her lips as she stared at him, "My Prince!" But the elf before her simply cocked his head to one side before laughing out loud.
"Well, I suppose you'll be waiting quite a while, my dear. I do not think that Aragorn and the Lady Arwen are expecting children at the moment!" She only stared at him, in awe.
Several torches were flung into the building from the doorway and windows and the elf quickly acted. "I don't know what is wrong with you, miss, but I suppose I must get you to safety anyway." The elf picked the woman up, flinging her ungracefully over his shoulder and rushed out the door. He had pulled his dagger loose and was expecting assault, but was surprised to find Aragorn only a few yards from him. Several orc corpses littered the ground. Burning the inn had been their last chance at retaliation.
"Legolas, the orcs are retreating, but you need to get her to her people. It seems she was the only villager left, and their were no casualties. They fled south but a few kilometers, it shouldn't take too long to get her there."
"Alright," Legolas replied, and turned south to head on his way.
"And Legolas," the King added, walking up to his friend. Legolas turned to face him, but was shocked when Aragorn pulled him by his hair down so he could whisper into his ear. "Put the woman on the ground! You look like you're going off to ravish her!" Legolas pulled away and gave his friend a look of both confusion and wry amusement.
"Do I really?" the elf grinned widely, earning him a quick kick to the shin before Aragorn returned to his troops. He sighed before putting the woman on the ground, and became rather perturbed that she was still staring at him with the same adoration. He glared at her for a moment before walking back toward the southern forest where he could be rid of this strange burden.
"Come on, let's get you back to your kinsmen. Miss." he turned to look at her, but then felt her thin fingers slipping around his arm in an inviting manner, her grinning face staring at him once again.
"Karen, you can call me Karen."
"Alright. Karen. He gave a last longing look back toward Aragorn before entering the forest.
"So tell me, Madam Karen, why in the world were you left in the village?" Legolas led them through the forest, very glad that mortal women could not climb trees. While he stayed in the branches, the strange woman stayed on the ground, yet always that strange stare met him when he glanced down to make sure she was well.
"I was waiting for you, My Prince." Legolas rolled his eyes, for not the first time this evening. This was another strange habit of the mortal, she was somehow determined that he was her prince or something. This night seemed endless.
"As I've told you, Madam Karen, I cannot be your prince if I am not of the same race as you. And we cannot be the same race if you are unable to climb trees and do not possess my kind's pointed ears." He was trying so hard to explain this to her in the simplest terms.
"But don't you see, My Prince? We do not have to be of the same kin. Love conquers all! I wished for you to come and save me, and you did!" He glanced down at her once again. She stared at him with the same adoration, her hands clutched together beneath her chin, as she walked flawlessly through the underbrush. Honestly, he couldn't be sure how she was able to do it. Even elves have to be mindful of where they step in the woods.
"Madam Karen, I am only taking you to your people, where you will be safe, and you can return to your husband, or children, or parents, or whatever. Once you reach your fellow villagers, I am no longer obliged to be with you."
"But, My Prince, even if you are forced to leave me, our love will still linger! No matter how long we are parted, or what dangers you must defeat for our love, you will return!"
"Oh really? *We* could not have a love because *we* never loved each other, Madam Karen. Just because you might be fond of me does not mean I am attracted to you at all." What was wrong with this mortal? Maybe he could just lose her somewhere in the woods, surely her people would not miss her that much.
"Oh, you truly do love me deep down, you are just too proud to admit it." She laughed heartily to herself. Legolas was rather confused, had she said something funny?
"Ah!" Legolas sighed in relief as he spotted the end of the forest as the sun began to rise in the east. He leapt down to the forest floor and called behind him. "Come on, Madam Karen, let's get you home." But just as he was walking toward the edge of the forest, the mortal grabbed him by the arm, and spun him around to face her. Then she leaned forward as though to kiss him.
"What do you think you are doing!?" Legolas cried and backed away from the crazed woman.
"It is first dawn, My Love, and we have survived a night together in these hideous woods." Legolas decided he preferred My Prince. She advanced on him again, arms outstretched in a false show of love and affection.
"Get away from me!" Legolas backed away again, unsure of how to deal with this new and unexpected foe.
"But My Love! We must always be together!" Legolas was just about to turn and run in a dead sprint to the nearby villagers, but a war cry caught his attention first. Out of the woods, Gimli ran toward the woman with axe raised high, and just as fear crept across the Maiden Karen's face, Gimli cleaved her in two, just as easily as he would an orc. Karen fell to the forest floor still staring at Legolas with love and affection.
"My. love.." she gasped out just as she hit the ground, he blood staining the leaves of the forest floor. Legolas and Gimli just stared at the woman on the ground in silence. Finally Legolas spoke up.
"Why in the world."
"She was going to attack you!" Gimli spat out before Legolas could complete his sentence. "She was advancing on you, and I was afraid she was. a witch. or something." The two stared again at the desolate form at their feet, confused.
"Well, what are we going to do with her now?" Legolas whispered. Sure, he didn't really care about the woman, but he was given the duty of taking her to her villagers. What if she really did have a husband and children who would miss her when she was gone?
"Well, I suppose we should bury her." Gimli stated matter-of-fact. And so Legolas picked up her bloodied corpse and Gimli dug a hole, and together they buried the strange and crazed Maiden Karen. They stared awkwardly at the mound after the duty was done.
"Well, shouldn't you say something, elf? You knew her better than I."
"I didn't know her that well, and anyway I didn't really even like her. Besides you were the one that killed her." Another awkward silence fell over them. "Well I suppose we'd best tell her people."
"Yes, I suppose so." As they made their way to the villagers, Legolas had one last question.
"Why were you in the woods, anyway, Gimli?" The burly dwarf shrugged his shoulders and fingered the hilt of his axe in remembrance.
"Aragorn sent me to finish off a few lingering orcs that had found refuge in these woods. They weren't much, and fairly easy kills for a skilled warrior such as myself." The dwarf's chest puffed out in pride, and Legolas had to hold back the laughter that wanted to erupt from his lips and the verbal banter he was tempted to begin. His mind was digesting a spark of an idea, and he decided it would be best not to mention it before reaching the villagers.
And so the elf and dwarf made their way to the grouping of villagers in silence. They came upon the group slowly, trying to locate whatever leader they had to inform him of the loss of their kinswoman. They found the large man in his well-guarded tent, and he took them in graciously.
"Well, I give each of you my thanks for driving off that band of orcs, they came upon us quite quickly." The man paced back and forth in his tent, all excitement and obviously having stayed up most of the night. "I have much thanks and respect for our King for dispatching them for us. Perhaps we may return tomorrow to begin rebuilding."
"Yes sire," Legolas began, "but we regret to inform you of the passing of one of your kinswomen this night."
"Oh no, really? Who? How did it happen? I thought everyone was removed from the village in time." The man sat down almost immediately, and he waited in anxious anticipation for the news.
"Well, no," Gimli began, somewhat hesitant. "There was one woman left, but she was saved. It was when --"
"When I brought her into the woods that we were attacked," Legolas completed, and Gimli gave him a sidelong look of shock. "The orcs were being pursued by my friend here, and they attacked the maiden. I'm afraid she had been straying far from me most of the night, and I was unable to save her from the ferocious beasts."
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. To lose one of our women to those beasts. Tell me, what did you say her name was?"
"The Maiden Karen, my liege." Legolas bowed his head in respect for the one lost, but when he looked up again, he was startled by the confused look on the man's face.
"Who?" he asked once more, his brow folded in remembrance.
"The. the Maiden Karen?" Legolas repeated, glancing toward his dwarven companion. Gimli shrugged in response.
"I'm sorry, but you must have been mistaken. There is no Karen in my village, I can assure you of that."
"Are you certain?" Gimli interjected. "I mean, surely you do not know every maiden in the village." The King smiled slightly before becoming stern again.
"Trust me, my dear dwarf, I make it my business to know every maiden in my village. Perhaps she was an outsider or something. Now please, if you don't mind, I have a lot of business to attend to."
The elf and dwarf departed the tent, confusion rattling their brains.
"If she was not from the village, Legolas, where in the world do you think she was from?" Gimli's eyes strayed to the woods again unintentionally.
"I don't know, Gimli, but I think it would be wise if we didn't repeat this to anyone." The dwarf let out a nervous chuckle.
"Agreed. Then we would be seen as the crazy ones, wouldn't you agree My Prince?"
"Shut up, Gimli."
-Fin
Summary: Looks like Mary Sue is in for a rude awakening.
Starring: Legolas, Aragorn, and Gimli
Story by Sylvia
March 2003
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters listed above, they are the sole property of J.R.R. Tolkien, as far as I know. I make no profit from this, it's only for fun.
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When the orcs had begun to attack, the maiden Karen had insisted that the children be saved first. She piled each and every child in the village onto the nearest wagon, refused to climb aboard herself. The driver of the wagon, old Abraham, pleaded with her, "Milady! You must come with us! The orcs are closing in, and this is the last wagon to leave the village!"
"I am sorry, my dear Abraham, but I cannot," her response was simple as she stared off into the city that was already starting to burn.
"But why?" Abraham had climbed into the driver's seat, his wrinkled face scrunched up in worry. The children were crying behind him in the flat- bedded wagon.
"I must wait. for he will come for me." she seemed distant, as though in another world.
"For who? The dark rider Death to come pick you up?" the old man spat out. He could not wait much longer for this crazy woman to make up her mind, he had a wagon-full of children to worry about.
"I must wait for him here." she walked off in the direction of the flames, oblivious to the cries of the children and the laughter of the orcs in the distance as they destroyed the city.
"Crazy." Abraham trailed off as he picked up the reigns and thundered out of the city.
Karen walked listlessly down the street and into certain danger. She could not explain why she felt she needed to be here, but something deep down in her heart told her she must stay. The dark shadows swept in a large mass between the buildings, setting fire to every one they encountered, their hideous laughter echoed up into the dark starless sky. Terror suddenly gripped Karen's heart, and she leapt into the nearest building she could find to reach safety from the evil creatures, a now abandoned inn.
The building was a mess from where the owners had scurried to flee from the invading orcs. Tables had been thrown aside, chairs tipped over, everything of worth that they could carry had quickly been rushed out to safety. She found the bar and hunched down on her knees behind it to keep from being seen. She waited quietly, quick pants of breath escaping her lips. From outside she heard their heavy feet smack against the cobblestone roads as they came toward the inn. She could see their bestial snouts reflected from the blazing fires behind them. One of the taller ones called out orders in their terrible tongue, and then kicked in the front door. Karen could not suppress a gasp as the heavy wooden door careened across the floor, toppling a nearby pile of chairs. Three shorter orcs moved in cautiously, clubs and knives at the ready. They kicked aside a few more chairs and tables as they made their way closer to the bar.
Karen clutched her hand over her mouth lest she make noise, as tears streamed down her cheeks. She stared at the ceiling as her mind chanted what she thought to be true: iMy prince will come for me, My prince will come for me,./i One of the orcs sniffed the air, and shaking his head in disgust, ordered the other two to come in from the sides of the bar. They knew where she was hiding.
One of the orcs leaped onto the bar, shattering glasses and crying a ferocious snarl. The maiden Karen screamed as she leapt to her feet. The other two orcs ran around from the sides of the bar with weapons raised.
"Help! Someone save me!" Karen screamed as the hideous orcs closed in on her. Then she heard a command from the front of the room.
"Let the woman go!" The orcs stopped and turned in question as three arrows flew through the air, each finding an orcish skull. Karen stared starry-eyed at the creature that stood before her. He was dressed all in greens and browns, his radiant blond hair falling gracefully over his shoulders. He rushed up to her, examining her from head to toe. "Well, you are not injured, why are you still standing there? What are you waiting for?"
Karen allowed the first words she thought fall from her lips as she stared at him, "My Prince!" But the elf before her simply cocked his head to one side before laughing out loud.
"Well, I suppose you'll be waiting quite a while, my dear. I do not think that Aragorn and the Lady Arwen are expecting children at the moment!" She only stared at him, in awe.
Several torches were flung into the building from the doorway and windows and the elf quickly acted. "I don't know what is wrong with you, miss, but I suppose I must get you to safety anyway." The elf picked the woman up, flinging her ungracefully over his shoulder and rushed out the door. He had pulled his dagger loose and was expecting assault, but was surprised to find Aragorn only a few yards from him. Several orc corpses littered the ground. Burning the inn had been their last chance at retaliation.
"Legolas, the orcs are retreating, but you need to get her to her people. It seems she was the only villager left, and their were no casualties. They fled south but a few kilometers, it shouldn't take too long to get her there."
"Alright," Legolas replied, and turned south to head on his way.
"And Legolas," the King added, walking up to his friend. Legolas turned to face him, but was shocked when Aragorn pulled him by his hair down so he could whisper into his ear. "Put the woman on the ground! You look like you're going off to ravish her!" Legolas pulled away and gave his friend a look of both confusion and wry amusement.
"Do I really?" the elf grinned widely, earning him a quick kick to the shin before Aragorn returned to his troops. He sighed before putting the woman on the ground, and became rather perturbed that she was still staring at him with the same adoration. He glared at her for a moment before walking back toward the southern forest where he could be rid of this strange burden.
"Come on, let's get you back to your kinsmen. Miss." he turned to look at her, but then felt her thin fingers slipping around his arm in an inviting manner, her grinning face staring at him once again.
"Karen, you can call me Karen."
"Alright. Karen. He gave a last longing look back toward Aragorn before entering the forest.
"So tell me, Madam Karen, why in the world were you left in the village?" Legolas led them through the forest, very glad that mortal women could not climb trees. While he stayed in the branches, the strange woman stayed on the ground, yet always that strange stare met him when he glanced down to make sure she was well.
"I was waiting for you, My Prince." Legolas rolled his eyes, for not the first time this evening. This was another strange habit of the mortal, she was somehow determined that he was her prince or something. This night seemed endless.
"As I've told you, Madam Karen, I cannot be your prince if I am not of the same race as you. And we cannot be the same race if you are unable to climb trees and do not possess my kind's pointed ears." He was trying so hard to explain this to her in the simplest terms.
"But don't you see, My Prince? We do not have to be of the same kin. Love conquers all! I wished for you to come and save me, and you did!" He glanced down at her once again. She stared at him with the same adoration, her hands clutched together beneath her chin, as she walked flawlessly through the underbrush. Honestly, he couldn't be sure how she was able to do it. Even elves have to be mindful of where they step in the woods.
"Madam Karen, I am only taking you to your people, where you will be safe, and you can return to your husband, or children, or parents, or whatever. Once you reach your fellow villagers, I am no longer obliged to be with you."
"But, My Prince, even if you are forced to leave me, our love will still linger! No matter how long we are parted, or what dangers you must defeat for our love, you will return!"
"Oh really? *We* could not have a love because *we* never loved each other, Madam Karen. Just because you might be fond of me does not mean I am attracted to you at all." What was wrong with this mortal? Maybe he could just lose her somewhere in the woods, surely her people would not miss her that much.
"Oh, you truly do love me deep down, you are just too proud to admit it." She laughed heartily to herself. Legolas was rather confused, had she said something funny?
"Ah!" Legolas sighed in relief as he spotted the end of the forest as the sun began to rise in the east. He leapt down to the forest floor and called behind him. "Come on, Madam Karen, let's get you home." But just as he was walking toward the edge of the forest, the mortal grabbed him by the arm, and spun him around to face her. Then she leaned forward as though to kiss him.
"What do you think you are doing!?" Legolas cried and backed away from the crazed woman.
"It is first dawn, My Love, and we have survived a night together in these hideous woods." Legolas decided he preferred My Prince. She advanced on him again, arms outstretched in a false show of love and affection.
"Get away from me!" Legolas backed away again, unsure of how to deal with this new and unexpected foe.
"But My Love! We must always be together!" Legolas was just about to turn and run in a dead sprint to the nearby villagers, but a war cry caught his attention first. Out of the woods, Gimli ran toward the woman with axe raised high, and just as fear crept across the Maiden Karen's face, Gimli cleaved her in two, just as easily as he would an orc. Karen fell to the forest floor still staring at Legolas with love and affection.
"My. love.." she gasped out just as she hit the ground, he blood staining the leaves of the forest floor. Legolas and Gimli just stared at the woman on the ground in silence. Finally Legolas spoke up.
"Why in the world."
"She was going to attack you!" Gimli spat out before Legolas could complete his sentence. "She was advancing on you, and I was afraid she was. a witch. or something." The two stared again at the desolate form at their feet, confused.
"Well, what are we going to do with her now?" Legolas whispered. Sure, he didn't really care about the woman, but he was given the duty of taking her to her villagers. What if she really did have a husband and children who would miss her when she was gone?
"Well, I suppose we should bury her." Gimli stated matter-of-fact. And so Legolas picked up her bloodied corpse and Gimli dug a hole, and together they buried the strange and crazed Maiden Karen. They stared awkwardly at the mound after the duty was done.
"Well, shouldn't you say something, elf? You knew her better than I."
"I didn't know her that well, and anyway I didn't really even like her. Besides you were the one that killed her." Another awkward silence fell over them. "Well I suppose we'd best tell her people."
"Yes, I suppose so." As they made their way to the villagers, Legolas had one last question.
"Why were you in the woods, anyway, Gimli?" The burly dwarf shrugged his shoulders and fingered the hilt of his axe in remembrance.
"Aragorn sent me to finish off a few lingering orcs that had found refuge in these woods. They weren't much, and fairly easy kills for a skilled warrior such as myself." The dwarf's chest puffed out in pride, and Legolas had to hold back the laughter that wanted to erupt from his lips and the verbal banter he was tempted to begin. His mind was digesting a spark of an idea, and he decided it would be best not to mention it before reaching the villagers.
And so the elf and dwarf made their way to the grouping of villagers in silence. They came upon the group slowly, trying to locate whatever leader they had to inform him of the loss of their kinswoman. They found the large man in his well-guarded tent, and he took them in graciously.
"Well, I give each of you my thanks for driving off that band of orcs, they came upon us quite quickly." The man paced back and forth in his tent, all excitement and obviously having stayed up most of the night. "I have much thanks and respect for our King for dispatching them for us. Perhaps we may return tomorrow to begin rebuilding."
"Yes sire," Legolas began, "but we regret to inform you of the passing of one of your kinswomen this night."
"Oh no, really? Who? How did it happen? I thought everyone was removed from the village in time." The man sat down almost immediately, and he waited in anxious anticipation for the news.
"Well, no," Gimli began, somewhat hesitant. "There was one woman left, but she was saved. It was when --"
"When I brought her into the woods that we were attacked," Legolas completed, and Gimli gave him a sidelong look of shock. "The orcs were being pursued by my friend here, and they attacked the maiden. I'm afraid she had been straying far from me most of the night, and I was unable to save her from the ferocious beasts."
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. To lose one of our women to those beasts. Tell me, what did you say her name was?"
"The Maiden Karen, my liege." Legolas bowed his head in respect for the one lost, but when he looked up again, he was startled by the confused look on the man's face.
"Who?" he asked once more, his brow folded in remembrance.
"The. the Maiden Karen?" Legolas repeated, glancing toward his dwarven companion. Gimli shrugged in response.
"I'm sorry, but you must have been mistaken. There is no Karen in my village, I can assure you of that."
"Are you certain?" Gimli interjected. "I mean, surely you do not know every maiden in the village." The King smiled slightly before becoming stern again.
"Trust me, my dear dwarf, I make it my business to know every maiden in my village. Perhaps she was an outsider or something. Now please, if you don't mind, I have a lot of business to attend to."
The elf and dwarf departed the tent, confusion rattling their brains.
"If she was not from the village, Legolas, where in the world do you think she was from?" Gimli's eyes strayed to the woods again unintentionally.
"I don't know, Gimli, but I think it would be wise if we didn't repeat this to anyone." The dwarf let out a nervous chuckle.
"Agreed. Then we would be seen as the crazy ones, wouldn't you agree My Prince?"
"Shut up, Gimli."
-Fin