"I don't have the right to say this. I don't even have the right to talk to you, after everything I've put you through. But I need to say this. Nothing I do will ever be enough to pay you back, but…I need to be honest with you, Apollo. It's all I can do for you. I've already failed at everything else."
Phoenix Wright took a deep breath, holding his phone as though letting it go would sever his connection to everything beautiful. Warm. Familiar, new, exciting, frightening. While he loved decorating with Athena, Larry and Trucy earlier, none of the Christmas décor in his office calmed him. The soft glow of the white lights, the tiny tree sitting on his desk-the magic of the season was completely lost, ignored by an attorney with a rapidly beating heart. The girls were euphoric over the season of carols, cookies and cocoa, but there wouldn't be any Christmas without Apollo. Once familiar treasures of the holiday season left him empty, cold. Lonely. As if his heart had been wrenched out of his chest, with bare hands.
Apollo said he'd try. Said he'd try to make it in time for shopping, baking and Christmas movie night. But it was a promise in immediate danger of breaking; the young attorney would possibly be swamped with cases right before Santa was due to hop onto his sleigh. The clumsy, short-tempered rookie had blossomed into a celebrity in what seemed like seconds, with his services requested by not just Khurain natives, but those that flew, drove and even walked to the village. Having his hands full caused his conversations on the phone to be unfortunately short, but he got his message across every time: 'I really miss you guys! Don't forget about me'.
Apollo said he'd try, but there was no guarantee. He had already made the decision to stay behind, wanting to make a certain dream come true. Wanting to grow, learn and transform, all on his own. What if he chose to stay in Khurain forever? He wouldn't just miss baking sugar cookies with Trucy, or Christmas shopping with Athena. He'd miss everything. And the gaping, frightening void he left wouldn't ever disappear.
If anything, it would grow even bigger.
He felt as if he were standing on the edge of a cliff, a dust speck above a vast, icy sea. It had only been a few seconds since he took a quick pit stop, but every second was no different from a century. He had one shot at getting Apollo back to shore, away from a world he never should have been introduced to, and it was a chance Phoenix knew he had to treat delicately. Even a single misstep could have Apollo never wanting to go back home. "I should be happy for you, and I am, but I don't want you there," the seasoned attorney gasps, memories of his former understudy hammering away at him. Stealing the very breath and strength out of his body.
"I wish I had never even taken you to Khurain. Not something I should say, I know, but I can't help it. I wish you had never met Dhurke. I wish I hadn't taken you anywhere near Khurain. I feel as though I failed you, Apollo. More than once. And I feel that's part of the reason why you left. No matter how what I did or said, it was never enough. I took you for granted. I abandoned you. And now you're no longer a part of our team. You said you'd come back, but what if you don't? There's a million reasons why you'd be happier staying there."
"I hate this. I know I'm being horrible, I know I should be asking you how everything's going, and the adventures you've had. But I can't. I can't because I'm afraid. I'm afraid…of losing the brave, beautiful young man I've fallen in love with. I don't have the right to say that, I know I don't, and you probably hate me even more now, but…I miss you. I miss the sound of your voice. Your Chords of Steel. The way you lit up my life every time you were anywhere near me. I don't have that anymore and I don't know what to do."
"I'll let you go. I've taken up more than enough of your time. Just want to let you know that I…I love you, Apollo. More than I ever did before. And if you want to know what I want for Christmas…it's you."
Silence came in the wake of those words. Phoenix only allowed it to flow between them for a moment before ending the call, slowly setting the phone on his desk, drowning in silence alone.
Completely unaware of Apollo being in tears.