Title: While I Was Sleeping
Summary: It's a weird situation she finds herself in. When she falls asleep in the normal world, she wakes up in some parallel universe where Quinn's dating Finn, and she's dating Puck of all people
A/N: I honestly have no idea where this one came from...but I'm really bored this summer, and dont have much else to do.
This story is probably looking to be around 10 or so chapters long, give or take a few. Heavy mentions of Quick and Finchel, because Puckleberry is always made a little better with drama added to it. The plotline has nothing to do with the movie of a similar name, it's just a happy coincidence :) . Rating subject to change, depending on whether or not I pluck up the courage.
Spoilers up to "Hold Onto Sixteen", then goes AU.
Warning: Probably some swearing, because something Puck and I have in common is a mouth fouler than a sailors
Disclaimer: If I owned Glee, then I would be writing the show, and not stuck on this site
Rachel has spent years and years building up barriers around her to protect herself from harm.
It's funny how they can all come crashing down with one hurtful comment.
"God, Rachel, do you realise how freaking annoying you are? Newsflash, midget, no one gives a crap about you, or your nasally, pathetic excuse for a voice."
She knows deep down that Santana says stuff like that to everyone, and it's not even the worst thing she's said to her. It really shouldn't affect her so much, and normally it wouldn't.
But today, today's been a bad day. She oversleeps this morning, and only just gets to first period on time, narrowly missing what would have been a big black 'tardy' mark on her permanent record. There's a surprise pop quiz in Maths, a B- mark on an essay in English, and the experiment she was carrying out in Science fails miserably when she pours in too much sulphuric acid, causing the whole mixture to foam up and bubble out of the beaker, spilling all over the desk and the floor (Mr Ross was not impressed). And to top it all off, when she walks into Glee that afternoon, she sees Santana all over Finn, touching his collar and giggling in what can only be a blatant display of flirtation. Seeing as her boyfriend isn't exactly pushing Santana away, it only furthers Rachel's bad mood. Seething, she sits down in one of the seats up the front, and doesn't acknowledge Finn when he sits down beside her, draping his arm across the back of her chair.
Sometimes, his ignorance is less than bliss.
Once everyone's in and settled down, Mr Schuester announces that the theme for Regionals this year is Youth, and that this year, he wants to start rehearsing early to ensure that they definitely get a spot at Nationals. Rachel immediately raises her hand, and doesn't wait to be called upon before speaking (A proper diva shouldn't have to).
"Mr Schuester, I was just wondering if I could possibly have one of the solos for this performance. It would only be fair, considering I didn't get to perform at all in Sectionals, due to my incredibly prejudiced suspension. I've been working on my voice all Christmas break, and I do think I have improved remarkably since we all last heard me sing up on the stage." She can sense people rolling their eyes, but she doesn't let it bother her. Nothing fazes a future-Diva.
"Uh, yeah, that sounds fair, Rachel. We have gotten pretty far on your voice before."
"Excellent," she continues, not breaking her stride. "Now, I have some suggestions for songs to go with this theme, but before I mention them, what style do you think we should perform this in? It's crucial we choose this early, lest we find ourselves in the same situation we've been in many times over. I propose we dedicate a meeting to discussing this, a decision is necessary soon."
Rachel hears a scoff from behind her, and she turns around in her seat. "Is there a problem, Santana?" she asks. Santana raises an eyebrow at her, before sitting up straight.
"God, Rachel, do you realise how freaking annoying you are? Newsflash, midget, no one gives a crap about you, or your nasally, pathetic excuse for a voice."
Santana's scathing words cut right through Rachel, and she freezes in her seat, astonished. She can vaguely make out the shape of Santana smirking, and Quinn shaking her head at the girl, before offering Rachel a sympathetic smile. She turns to Finn, in the hopes that he'll say something to make it all better. It's what he's good at, after all.
When Finn says nothing, and only gives her a blank stare in return, that's when she stands up from her seat, and storms out of the room. Puck's voice trails behind her, following her out the door. "I think you went a little too far there, Lopez." She doesn't stick around to hear Santana's answer. Instead, she walks out of the building towards the direction of her car, willing the tears to stay inside her eyes.
*/*
At home, sitting on her bed, the tears come pouring out. She's knows it's silly (It's not the first time she's been rudely insulted at one of those meetings), but that doesn't stop it hurting.
And what hurts the most is the fact that Finn didn't stand up to her. She didn't get her boyfriend acting like the knight in shining armour that he should have been. That's what hurt.
She chokes back a sob, and reaches for the journal she keeps on her bedside table. It's sitting next to the picture of Finn she had framed. It was taken when they were in New York last year, in front of Central Park. Rachel likes to look at it, and pretend that at the end of this year, he's coming back to that place with her. Going to college with her in New York rather than staying in Ohio. A sob escapes from her throat, and she sniffles as she opens the journal, pulling the pen out of the binder to write what is expected to be a fairly angry and depressing entry.
Twenty minutes through, her phone rings on the bed next to her. She wishes it was Finn calling, but seeing as she's not hearing his personalised ringtone (Grease's 'You're The One That I Want', what else?), it looks like that particular wish isn't coming true. Looking at the display, she's more than surprised to see Noah's name. "Hello?" she says, warily. You could never be too sure with that boy.
"Hey, Rach. Just wanted to see if you were alright. You left the choir room pretty quickly."
Rachel smiles. It's nice to know that someone cares enough to see how you're doing, even if Puck wasn't exactly the first person on her list she expected to care.
"I'm doing fine, thanks, Noah. I think writing an entry in my journal was pretty effective in letting go of all that teenage angst I seemed to be holding." She hears him laugh on the other end.
"Ah, it's good to know. You looked pretty pissed at San." He pauses for a second. "Which is kinda understandable, seeing as she's a bit of a bitch sometimes."
She giggles into the receiver, unable to disagree. "I don't think 'sometimes' is the right word to use in that situation. Something more along the lines of 'constantly' would have fit better. Anyway, I think I'll be alright. Just a slight waver in my defences is all. Everyone has their bad days, I guess this was one of mine" Rachel sighs, and pushes the hair back off her face. "Don't you just wish sometimes that you could do something over? Start off on a clean slate and see if you could do it better the next time around?" There's a moment of silence before Puck answers.
"Yeah, I do. I wish for that quite a lot, actually. There's heaps of things that if I had the chance, I'd do over, you know? Do it right instead of fucking up, which is what I do almost all the time."
She feels a sudden bout of sympathy for the boy she's on the phone with. To be honest, Rachel's always been a little sorry for Puck. High school had not been kind to either of them.
"You'll get your big break soon, Noah. I promise. What goes around comes around, and after looking at all the terrible things that have happened to you, I predict that a happy streak for you is just around the corner." Puck laughs again, and Rachel smiles.
"Thanks, Rach. Means a lot, it really does."
"Say nothing of it," she replies. They both say their goodbyes, and Rachel hangs up, considerably happier than she was before his call. She wipes the remaining tears from her eyes, and lies back on her bed. Despite the fact it's still early in the evening, she feels incredibly tired. Her eyes start to shut as her brain slowly winds down. Before she closes her eyes, she sees the photo of Finn smiling at her from the table. She glares at it, before drifting off to sleep.
As she's pulled slowly into the realm of unconsciousness, the words from her phone call with Puck ring through her head.
"Don't you just wish sometimes that you could do something over?"
*/*
Her dream that night is weird to say the least. She's always had peculiar dreams, but this one's oven more so than normal.
In the dream, she's hovering over her bed, watching another version of herself sleeping below her. She starts focusing on the steady breathing of her form, chest rising and falling as she sleeps on the bed.
And suddenly, it's like someone's pressed a rewind button, and she's watching the whole day go backwards. The other Rachel wakes up, goes back on the phone with Puck, writes in her diary and then walks out of the bedroom. Before she knows it, she's back in the Glee meeting, where Santana's telling her that her voice is nasally, and Finn's just sitting there, not saying a word, that dopey look plastered on his face.
The tape moves faster and faster, skipping through winter break, then Sectionals, her presidential campaign, the production of West Side story. Senior year passes by her eyes in a flash, and junior year soon follows, only letting her get small fragments of the scenes of her life. It's all confusing and very fast, and she's not sure what's going on. To say she's freaked out would be an understatement.
It continues to rewind through sophomore year, finally stopping on the football field, of all places. She's more confused than ever (what's so important about a football field?), until she spots the bleachers. Or rather, the two people sitting on them. Rachel finds herself almost…floating over to the stands until she's right in front of the scene. It's one moment in her life that she's definitely not going to forget in a hurry.
It's the moment that she breaks up with Puck.
And sure enough, she can see herself doing it. Telling him that she thinks their relationship isn't going to work out. That they're both in love with other people, and the only reason she really dated him was to make Finn jealous.
She never did see the look on his face when she broke up with him. He almost looks…hurt.
The strange thing is, while the other Rachel is telling Puck this, he's not saying a word. Rachel remembers him brushing her off, telling her he didn't care. Why was it so different now? He's just sitting there in silence, looking slightly pathetic. She kind of wants to give him a hug.
Dream-Rachel gets up from her seat and starts to walk away. Dream-Puck gets up quickly from his seat, and grabs at her arm. "What are you doing?" she sees herself ask, glancing at his hand on her skin.
Dream-Puck stares down at his feet for a second, before looking up to meet her eyes. "I know you're all head-over-heels for Finnocence, and I kind of, like, have something for Quinn, but they're not breaking up anytime soon. And I don't know about you, but I don't plan on moping around like some fuckin' sad puppy while I wait for the power couple of the century to break up."
She stares at him, confused. "What are you saying, Noah?"
"What I'm saying is…if we've got something going on here that works just fine, I don't see why we should break it up, just 'cause we're not gonna get the person we really want." He trails his hand further up her arm, until it's resting on her shoulder, and brings the other one up to rest on the opposite side. "The way I see it, we could kinda help each other out here. I could help you forget about Finn, and you could help me forget about…her." Dream-Rachel gives him a small smile, before pulling him into a hug and whispering; "Ok," into his ear. Rachel can see Dream-Puck grinning as he holds her a little tighter.
"You're gonna let me touch your boobs, though, right?" Dream-Rachel laughs, and leans up to kiss him on the cheek.
The scene then starts to fast-forward back, and Rachel watches her life that she was shown earlier, except this time, it's different. Instead of seeing her and Finn together, she sees her and Puck. She gets glimpses of him driving her to school in her truck, and taking her on dates to BreadstiX. She sees the two of them doing homework in her room, with Puck paying more attention to her than his English textbook. She sees them both performing on stage at the Regionals performance before Beth's birth, singing a duet together like they were the only two people in the world.
She sees them making out in his room after he watched her mother take his daughter home. Rachel watches him slowly pull her shirt over her shoulders. Then, the scene changes, and they're moving through their junior year together, hand in hand down the hallways every morning, sitting next to each other in Glee and eating lunch at the same table. He's the one who takes her to junior prom instead of her having to split a date with Mercedes. They dance to Tina singing 'A Whiter Shade of Pale', and he whispers that he loves her in her ear, while fingering the purple corsage he bought her on her wrist. The moment is perfect, and Rachel can't bring herself to care that it's with the entirely wrong guy.
The flashbacks end with her watching herself sleep again, her breathing the same as it was before her little journey. She's not entirely sure what's just happened. That felt slightly too real for a dream. She's definitely never had one like that before. She kind of wishes she won't ever again.
Rachel's eyes slowly open, and she cringes her face at the sunlight streaming in from the curtains. Groaning, she pushes herself out of bed, and takes a look at the clock on her bedside table.
The first warning sign is that Finn's picture is missing. The second is that it's been replaced by one of her and Noah. Confused, she grabs it off the table to take a closer look. The only thing that's the same between this one, and the one that was previously there, is the backdrop of Central Park.
She replaces the picture on the bedside table, and pushes herself out of bed. Is it possible that she's still dreaming? She pinches herself to make sure, and hisses at the pain. If this is a dream, it definitely doesn't feel like one.
She gets dressed in a plaid skirt and button down black shirt, and brushes out her hair, still a little disorientated. After a quick trip to her bathroom, she walks downstairs. Just to, you know, check her two fathers hadn't been replaced by two mothers in this…whatever this was.
Rachel lets out a sigh when she sees her dads sitting at the table like they normally do every morning. She kisses each of them on the cheek, before heading into the kitchen to make herself some toast. Dream or not, she's still hungry. Two slices get popped in the toaster, and she pours herself some apple juice while waiting for them to cook.
She's eaten one of the slices when she hears a car horn outside. She grabs the other, along with her school bag, and walks out the front door, chewing the toast as she walks down the front steps. She's honestly not shocked to see Puck standing in her driveway, leaning lazily against his truck. Keeping in theme with the dream, of course.
"Sup, babe?" he says, taking her bag from her shoulders and throwing it in the front seat of the truck. She's about to protest (her personal property should be handled with the highest of care, and nothing less), when he wraps an arm around her waist and pulls her in close, pressing his lips to hers.
Just like the pinch, this kiss feels very, very real. Rachel's too taken aback by it all to respond as his lips move against hers, and his hand tangles into her air. She's vaguely aware of one of his hands moving down to her hip to pull her closer to him, but mostly, it's just a blur.
He's always been a good kisser, she remembers that very well; it's just that it's been a while, and she's forgotten just how good he was. For about a minute, every rational thought leaves her head, and she's kissing him back, weaving her arms around the back of his neck. It takes her a second to remember, Hang on, this isn't my boyfriend.
Rachel pulls away quickly, wiping her lips on the back of her hand. Puck looks at her for a second, confused, before shrugging his shoulders.
"S'fine. We got time to make out in our free second period anyway." He presses a quick kiss to the hinge of her jaw, and gets inside his truck. "You coming?"
Rachel nods slowly, before opening the door and sitting close to the window, as far away from Puck as she can manage. He raises an eyebrow at her and slides an arm around her waist, pulling her close to his side.
"You're acting all strange this morning, Rach. Everything okay, or do I need to beat someone up?" The look of concern seems so out of place with his words, and Rachel has to fight back a laugh. This certainly is an interesting dream she's cooked up.
"No, I assure you, everything's just fine, Noah. I'm certain it will all be fixed by the end of the day," she replies, resting her hands on her lap. Puck still looks confused, but he brushes it off as he starts up the engine. Rachel looks out the window the whole car trip, wondering just what else about this world is different.
*/*
She has to practically wrestle her bag out of Puck's arm in the carpark, informing him that she is more than capable of carrying it herself. He laughs and playfully shoves her shoulder, telling her it's his job as a boyfriend to be "all chivalrous and shit for my girl, 'cause she deserves the best". It's a rather sweet gesture, if not a little Neanderthal-like. She thinks the way he slings an arm over her shoulder as they walk is kind of sweet as well.
Inside the school, Rachel half-expects everyone to be shocked at her and Puck together (she knows she was). No one really seems to care though. Hardly anyone looks at them as they walk down the hall together, stopping outside Rachel's locker. Puck swings open the one next to her, pulling out his books. The locker that used to be Finn's. She remembers having a very long argument with her old locker-neighbour about switching with her boyfriend. Did she do the same for Puck? There's so much missing about this world that she really needs to find out.
She shakes her head in disbelief at all the photos of Puck in her locker. It almost seems like there's more in here of him then there are of Finn in her real locker. Must be the dream, she tells herself. It has to be the dream.
Rachel hears a giggle coming from somewhere to her left. She turns her head to see Quinn, decked from head to toe in a Cheerio's outfit, with her arms around Finn. He's holding onto her waist, pressing kisses all over the side of her neck and face. Quinn moves her head slightly, and catches eyes with Rachel. She smirks, before turning back to the boy who is very obviously her boyfriend now. There's a spark of jealousy stirring in Rachel, and she has to hold herself down from marching over there and slapping Quinn across the face. It's the thought that, in the real world, she's the one dating Finn, not to mention being friends with Quinn, that stops her.
When the bell rings, Puck takes her hand in his, and walks with her to first period, dropping her outside her advanced English class with a small kiss. She watches him walk down the hall, before he turns a corner and disappears from sight, pondering exactly how their relationship had lasted for nearly two years, when their original one only lasted a week.
In second period, he picks her up outside her class and drags her to a closet, where, she's ashamed to say, she gives in to a make-out session with him (his words, not hers). Is this what Dream-Rachel would do? Make out with Puck for a whole period instead of using the time to study? (Which is what the free period was allocated for and should be used for.) It's strange, and not exactly unwelcomed. It makes her wonder how far she and Dream-Puck have gotten –base wise, that is. She knows that in the real world, she and Finn have…made love…a few times. And they were all lovely. Really, they were.
But it's a thought that's crossed her mind before (mostly in the short week that they dated). What would sex with Puck be like? And would she prefer it to sex with Finn? She knows that being intimate with someone you love feels better most of the time than someone you don't, but would Puck's experience –and she knows he's got plenty of that –weigh out her feelings for Finn. And anyway, Dream-Rachel obviously seems to like Dream-Puck enough.
Rachel shakes the thoughts out of her head. She's already kissed the Puck in this world, and that felt enough like cheating. She can't imagine the guilt she would feel if she seduced him, even if this wasn't technically real.
*/*
The two sit together at lunch, alone at their own little table. Puck feeds her fruit salad with a plastic fork, and she giggles every time he misses her mouth (which is more often than not). He wipes away a small bit on mango on the side of her mouth with his thumb, and stares up at Rachel with a small smile on his face. It's a smile she rarely ever sees on him, and she decides it's one of her favourites on him. She smiles back at him, stealing a sip of his orange juice.
Puck rests his chin on his hand, looking deep into her eyes. "I love you, Rach, I really do." She chokes on the juice, spluttering it down the front of her shirt. Whatever she was expecting him to say, it wasn't that. Puck grabs for a serviette, and dabs at her chest, drawing up some of the moisture. She'd accuse him of copping a cheap feel, but she doesn't think that's his motive. And that freaks her out a little.
"Oh god, I'm so clumsy," she says, staring forlornly at the stains on her shirt that she just knows won't come out. And yes, even in the dream that bothers her.
Puck smirks. "It's cool, babe. Just proves I can still make you feel shit." His tone is slightly cocky, and she glares at his back as he grabs both their trays to take them away. Makes sense that both Pucks are arrogant…assholes.
She can barely concentrate in class next period, her mind on the three little words that Puck had said to her in the cafeteria. Three little words that Finn rarely ever said to her (even if she knew he felt them), and Puck could say it so easily. Like saying any other words. It shouldn't matter so much. It really shouldn't.
She finds herself looking over at Finn, who's sitting a few desks over, chatting with Mike. A part of her (a rather large part) just wishes she could get out of her seat and sit at the empty desk next to him, holding hands under the table like they normally do.
But, in this dream, doing just that would cause her great embarrassment. And if there's one thing Rachel hates being, it's embarrassed. The feeling of everyone looking at you with scorn in their eyes, not bothering to stifle their giggles; it's what she used to go through every day before she found friends. And even after that sometimes. She won't go through it now. She won't.
Finn looks her way, and she's startled for a second. Rachel quickly composes herself and smiles friendly at the boy, giving him a small wave. He looks uncomfortable, and after glancing round the classroom, gives her the tiniest of smiles in return. Confused, Rachel turns her head back to the teacher. Surely, even if they weren't dating, she and Finn would be friends at least? She can't even imagine hurting him in anyway, let alone not talking to him at all. Maybe Dream-Rachel was different in that way.
Dream-Rachel was turning out to be different in a lot of ways.
After class, she races out the door after Finn, and grabs his arm in an attempt to make him stand still. The look of shock on his face would almost be adorable if she wasn't so irritated. "Hey, Finn," she starts. "I don't think I got a chance to say hello to you this morning, so…hello." Rachel mentally slaps herself. Smooth, Rachel. Really smooth.
Finn eyes widen as he tries to stutter a response. "I…um, well, uh…hi?" He prises her arm off his, rubbing the skin where her hand was. "Is this about Glee? 'Cause I didn't figure out any songs to do for Regionals, and I know you told us all to, and I'm real sorry I didn't, but I've been super busy with football, and college applications, and Quinn's been on my back about so much lately –I accidentally forgot her cats birthday last week, and she went mental."
"No, Finn this isn't about Glee." Rachel stops for a second. "Don't we ever talk about anything non-Glee related?"
He raises an eyebrow at her. "Rachel, we don't talk at all." Finn looks over her shoulder down the hall. "Oh, crap, that's Quinn. I gotta go before she sees me with you, or she's gonna blow."
Rachel watches Finn run down the halls to Quinn, who glares at him. She can just make out her saying "What were you doing with Rachel? You know how I feel about you hanging around with her"
It almost breaks her heart when she sees Finn respond with "Quinn, stop worrying. She's not important."
It's not real, she has to tell herself over and over.
It's not real
*/*
In Glee, she sits in her usual spot at the front (it's where all the real action is). It doesn't surprise her that Puck comes to sit on her right.
Santana taking the seat on her left however, does.
She gives the girl a confused look and Santana simply smiles in return.
"And how's my favourite bitch going this afternoon?" she drawls, swinging her arm around the back of Rachel's chair. Rachel gives the arm a cautious look, before replying.
"I'm going very well, thank you," she says shakily. Santana slaps her on the back and says, "Good to hear."
Rachel glances around to see if anyone else sees anything weird in this.
Nothing. This friendship must be normal here.
(If you can call it that)
Mr Schuester walks in with a large folder underneath his arm, and motions for everyone to be quiet.
"Alright, guys, settle down. Now, the official information for Regionals was faxed to me today, and the theme that has been chosen for this year is Youth" Rachel can't bring herself to pretend to be as excited as all the other people in the room. She musters up a half-enthusiastic smile when Kurt taps her on the shoulder and exclaims, "Isn't this wonderful?"
A thought suddenly hits her, and Rachel finds herself raising her hand. Mr Schuester gestures for her to speak.
"I was just wondering, seeing as I was unable to perform in Sectionals, would it be possible to see that I get one of the solos for our Regional's performance?" She holds her breath.
He nods. "That seems fair," he says. Rachel turns her head to the side to see Santana's reaction. The girl's staring at the teacher, and when she sees Rachel staring at her moves her head, smiling at her.
Huh.
Feeling a little bolder, she continues with, "I also have some song suggestions, if you'd like to hear them?"
"Sounds great, Rachel," says Mr Schuester. "I'll dedicate a meeting to it next week, and I expect everyone else to come to that meeting with at least one song that you think will fit in with the theme. It's incredibly important we get our set list finished early this time around. No one wants a repeat of Nationals, now, do we?" There was a sound of mutual agreement as everyone in the room nodded. It was a pretty stupid idea to wait until the night before to get the songs written. Rachel found it surprising they made the place they got at all. It just goes to show what they really could have achieved if they'd tried.
Puck leans in, mouth close to her ear. "You're gonna rock that solo, babe," he says, breath tickling her ear. She can't help but smile as she whispers a "Thank you" back.
*/*
She gets a lift home after school from Puck, and declines his offer to come inside and 'help her study'. The tell-tale smirk on his face is a clear indication that homework's the last thing on his mind, and he settles for instead pressing a quick kiss on her lips before walking back to his truck.
Again, just like every other kiss, it felt far too real for a dream.
Rachel makes a start on her homework, but realises half-way through that there's really no point, and switches on an episode of Dawson's Creek (From Season Three, because in her opinion, that one was by far the best). She makes it about six episodes through before calling it a night and heading up to bed, telling her fathers that she really doesn't feel like dinner tonight.
It's still pretty early, but as soon as her head hits the pillow, she finds her eyes closing automatically. The weirdness of today had really taken its toll on her, and all she really wants to do now is sleep.
She falls asleep wondering if it was possible to have a dream inside a dream.
*/*
Rachel wakes up the next morning to the sound of her alarm blaring in her ears.
The first thing she notices is the picture of Finn on her bedside table.
"…All that we see or seem, is but a dream within a dream…" –Edgar Allan Poe
Reviews are most welcome :)