RWBY watches List of oneshots and Ctwl stories involving the RWBY universe.

(Rules: 1- No killing 2- NO KILLING! 3- NO NO KILLING!)

(Chapters used in story will be at random and certain characters will pop up at random to watch as well)

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Chapter 1: Beginning and Jaune's new sword?

-Beacon-

It was a calm day, no Grimm attacks, no crazy battles and NO Nora breaking someone's legs. And team JNPR were just hanging out in their rooms browsing through their Scrolls.

Just as they were getting comfortable, a large red portal formed under them and started to suck them in.

"What the?!" Ren said as he got sucked into the portal.

"Ren!"

"Hold on to something!" Jaune yelled while holding the edge of his bed.

"Jaune! I'm slipping!" Pyrrha yelled out before being sucked into the portal. "Jaune!"

"Pyrrha!" he cried out with wide eyes while feeling his grip slipping.

Nora slipped before getting sucked into the portal. "I'm coming Ren!"

Jaune lost his grip before falling into the portal. "AAAHHH!"

The portal started to close as it made a large 'ping' sound.

-unknown location-

"Gah!" Jaune groaned before before getting a few bodies on his back. "Ow…"

"Is everyone alright?" Asked Ren while trying to get off of Nora's butt. "Where are we?"

"No idea." Pyrrha said while getting off. "But it's not Vale that's for sure."

As Nora and Ren got off of Jaune, another portal appeared as RWBY landed on him.

"GAH!"

"What was that?" Asked Ruby while feeling Yang squishing her lungs. "Yang, losing….air."

"Oh sorry but Weiss here is squishing my stomach."

"Well tell that to Blake!" She grunted. "She's crushing my back!"

"Sorry." Blake said while getting off. "Ok...does anyone know where we are?"

All of them shook their heads and saw they were in a dark room with a couch and tv.

"Ok, this is really odd." Weiss said while getting off of Yang. "I mean, how and why would we appear in this….place?"

"No idea." Nora said. "But as long as Ren is ok, I'm happy."

"Any sign of doors around here?" asked Ruby.

Yang looked around for any signs of a door but she couldn't find any. "Yep, I'm going to punch us out of this room."

"Just try not to bring the house down." spoke Weiss.

Yang grinned before walking towards the wall and punched it. It didn't leave a dent but it did hurt her hand. "Yow! What's this wall made off?!"

"It can't be that hard."

"How about you try!" She frowned before seeing Nora looking at the desk. "Nora? What are you doing?"

"Just a cassette." She said picking up a video tape cassette with a title called 'CTWL and List of Oneshots' in black ink. "Might as well see what's on it if we're stuck in here."

"That's sounds fine." Pyrrha said. "Right Jaune?"

"Alright, but after this we find a way out of this place." he replied as Nora walked over and slid the tape into the tv while they got comfy around the couch.

The screen went static before a chapter title appeared.

What if Jaune's sword got an upgrade?

"Huh?" Ruby said before looking at Jaune. "How does it know you Jaune?"

"I have no idea, but now it suddenly got creepy."

-Beacon, JPNR's room-

Jaune was polishing his sword and shield on his bed since he had some free time.

"Squeek." Spoke a mouse that came out from under his bed. "Squeek."

"Gah!" he jumped and dropped the shield on the floor.

Blake looked at Jaune. "A mouse. Really Jaune?"

"That's not me! That never once happened to me!"

"Well it's kind of funny." Chuckled Yang before seeing the mouse scratching Jaune's face. "That's just hilarious now!"

They watched as Jaune got the mouse off his face before taking his sword to try and kill the rodent.

Jaune swung his sword around before hearing a loud crack and a shatter of metal.

'Oh please don't let it be what I think it is.'

"Squeek!" The mouse called out before getting off his head and ran off into Nora's bed. All the while Jaune shook his head and saw that his family's sword was now destroyed as the blade portion was nothing but shards of metal.

"Oh man, I am so fucked."

Jaune paled at his own sword breaking into shards. "Oh fuck!"

"Wow, didn't know it was so fragile." remarked Ruby.

"It's an old sword Ruby."

"But aren't they supposed to be sturdy?"

"When they are well cleaned and treated well." Weiss said. "But this is just sad."

Pyrrha sighed. "Why not just head to the workshop and get it upgraded?"

"Pyrrha I can't do that! If my family hears I broke it, they'll have my head!"

"How bad? Cutting your head off or crushing it with a hammer?"

"I don't even wanna imagine which one."

Pyrrha sighed. "Well either you get the upgrade and stay a hunter or you get fucked by your family. Either way. You need to do something soon Jaune."

"Kinda harsh there Pyrrha."

"But I'm not that harsh." She said while surprised she was this mean to Jaune of all people.

He looked at his broken sword and gulped before turning to her. "Which way was the workshop again?"

"Just turn down the hall and head left until you see explosions coming out of one of the rooms."

"Thanks Pyrrha, you're a lifesaver."

"Just don't forget to kiss me later." She winked as Jaune blushed at the implication.

The group looked at Pyrrha in surprise.

"Wow Pyrrha." Yang grinned. "That was really bold of you."

Pyrrha blushed and looked away.

"Hey Jauney." Nora smiled while fixing her hammer with….a spoon? "What's up?"

"Uh, are you fixing that with a spoon?"

"Yep." She grinned while turning a screw with the spoon. "So what up?"

"Nora." Ren said in confusion. "Did you drink coffee again?"

"No, why do you ask?"

"Nevermind."

He groaned. "Look, where can I get my sword upgraded?"

"Over there." Yang said pointing to a large machine that looked like a combination of a computer, a vending machine, a video game system, and a giant sized oven.

"What's that!?"

"The Automatic Weapon and Cat Cannon machine." Blake said with annoyance. "Or the AWCC for short."

"Wait, what does it have to do with cats?"

"It shoots cats." Blake grumbled. "And cat Fauni." 'Stupid machine!'

"What?" Weiss said in utter surprise. "How is that even possible?"

"And yeah, what DOES that have to do with cats?" Blake raised an eyebrow.

"Don't ask." Yang sighed. "It's something Ozpin came up with. No idea why though."

"He was drunk." Spoke Glynda while fixing her riding crop. "And wasted."

"...that makes sense." Blake deadpanned as this version of Jaune was being taught to use the machine. Well it was fine until one scene in particular showed up.

"What happens if I pull the red one?"

"It starts creating exploding bunnies." Blake sighed. "Really big ones too."

"Exploding bunnies?" Ruby said in shock. "It makes exploding bunnies!"

"Just how can any of this be real? That machine doesn't exist, and none of us said any of this." spoke Weiss.

"Maybe it's repressed memories?" Jaune said before he saw himself pulling the lever. Only to hear Scarborough Fair music in the background.

"That's a nice song." Yang said. "But why the music?"

"I forgot to mention that different weapons have their own music during the upgrading process." Glynda sighed. 'Still can't believe mine was Night on Bald Mountain.'

"Man that machine would make a fortune right Weiss?"

But she was too busy trying to comprehend the existence of such a machine. And shook her head at how crazy it sounded.

"Hey Jaune." Ren said while seeing the new sword coming out of the machine. "Are you sure you're not….bisexual?"

"I'm straight Ren. One hundred percent straight."

"Just asking." He said while both the video Ruby and the real Ruby laughed at the weapon.

"Wow Jaune, REAL impressive new design." snickered Yang.

"Shut up Yang!"

Jaune held his weapon and tried charging them. Only to accidentally hit a trigger at the blade's hilt.

Kabam!

A pink and dark purple bullet speed towards the nearest dummy and hit it as it suddenly stopped moving.

"Ok I take that back." Yang said in shock. "That's a really awesome weapon!"

"Sure it shoots, but so can other weapons." spoke Ren.

"But Ren." Nora said while seeing the broken dummy pieces slowly falling. "It's really slow! What kind of weapon does that?"

"Fair point."

"No-" Blake said before Jaune accidentally shot Nora with the bullet seemingly not drawing blood as she stopped moving. "Jaune!"

"Sorry!"

"So it works with people." Blake said with interest.

"I can't believe you'd shoot me." frowned Nora crossing her arms. "What'd I ever do to you?"

"It wasn't me!"

Everyone looked at the motionless Nora in shock and fascination before Yang took out a sharpie and drew some whiskers and a third eye on her. "Perfect."

"Yang. Why did you just do that?" Ruby asked as Nora's arms started to move. 'Oh crap.'

"Because she does that all the time when people sleep, so now it was time for payback."

"I so do not!"

"Are you sure?" Asked Ruby. "I mean you...kind of are a prankster."

"No I'm not!"

Everyone looked at the hammer wielding huntress with a deadpanned expression.

"Fine, maybe once….twice….or more."

"It was fifty times." Ren said before seeing the weapon firing a bullet at Cardin. 'That was actually funny.'

"I'm not purposely doing this!"

Bang!

A bullet again shot out and this time hit Ozpin, who also walked in with some coffee in hand, causing him to freeze.

"Oh my god I am so sorry Mr. Ozpin!"

Jaune's eyes widened at that while the girls chuckled and/or laughed their asses off. "Oh god I'm SO glad I didn't do that."

"That's true." Pyrrha said before seeing the sword shooting Ruby, Yang, Blake and Nora. "But if you had that weapon it would be kind of awkward."

"Or just really cool." remarked Ruby.

"Yeah but Jaune." Nora said sweetly. "Never try that to me ever."

"G-Got it." he nodded nervously as he saw that the bullet hit him. "Oh come on!"

"Hmmm." Ruby and Nora thought before grinning as they used Yang's sharpie and drew some….pictures of Zwei's butt on his face. "Perfect."

'Not fair!'

"Oh and one more thing." Ruby grinned before putting a few words on his face that read, Property of Ruby and Pyrrha. "Now it's a masterpiece!"

"Oh?" Yang grinned while turning to the reaper and the amazon. "You two are sharing him?"

"T-That's not true!" blushed Pyrrha. "We'd never do that!"

"Y-Yeah." Blushed Ruby. "We wouldn't do that!"

"Huh, well maybe you did." She teased. "Or maybe not. Either way, it's funny to see."

The two blushed red before hearing something that made Jaune groan.

"Um problem." Blake sighed. "Once the weapons been upgraded...it's permanently changed."

"Oh god, that's not good!"

"How so? It seems pretty decent, even if the color is bad." remarked Weiss.

"Still, it's still going to be bad." He groaned. "If my parents knew about this I'm dead!"

"You're exaggerating."

"Trust me, you wouldn't want to make them mad."

"Relax, this is just some weird video, unless you really broke your sword then yeah, you should freak out." remarked Ren.

"I hope so." He gulped before seeing his other self grinning. "Wait, why is….myself grinning like that?"

"What are you thinking about?" Nora asked with a confused look. "Banging a cat or something strange?"

"Not funny!" Blake growled.

"Nora!" Yelled the real Blake. "That wasn't funny!"

"I didn't say that! But you have to admit, it is something I'd mention. Especially since that kinda stuff is ki-"

"NORA!" Yelled both Jaune and Blake with a blush.

"And no!" cried out Jaune with a frown.

"Then what is it?"

"I was thinking about using this for pranks."

"Mis-use of a weapon, I like." smirked Ruby.

"I like it." Nora grinned as Yang gave Jaune a noogie.

"You little trickster!" She grinned. "You made me so proud!"

"I'm not a prankster!"

A barrage of bullets hit Cardin from behind while getting out of the showers as he froze in place.

"AHH!" Yelled Ruby while covering her eyes. "I CAN'T UNSEE THIS!"

"Jaune! Couldn't you have just waited till he had a towel on first?" spoke Weiss while looking away.

"It wasn't me! I wasn't planning this!"

"Yeah, you are really strange." Ren said.

"Says the guy who has a pink strand in his hair."

"Touché."

"AHAHA!" Laughed the student and teachers of Beacon as they saw Cardin's predicament. He was still naked and frozen while covered in feathers like a giant chicken.

That also happened with the group as they laughed like hyenas.

"Oh god! T-That's perfect!" laughed Nora.

"Yeah!" Weiss laughed. "Oh god! It's too much!"

"Oh…...but why the kick me sign?" Nora asked as Weiss kicked Cardin, hard, on the butt.

"Wow Weiss." Pyrrha said in surprise. "That was a nice kick."

"Wonder if I should do that to the real Cardin."

"Save some for me." Ruby grinned. "He deserves being kicked for being a meany to Velvet."

"Just make sure Ozpin doesn't find out." spoke Yang.

"Will do." She grinned before before seeing a crying Cardin. "Heh heh heh."

"Is that it?" asked Pyrrha.

"No look." Blake said as the title, Ruby X Penny, appeared on screen.

"Huh?!" Ruby said in surprise as a portal opened up and Penny dropped onto the ground. "Huh! Penny?!"

She slowly got up and smiled at Ruby as the screen went black.

To be continued.