A/N: Very heavily inspired, but mostly the format. I don't want to claim any originality on this story, although I hope I somehow made it my own. Please check out their fanfiction "All He Knows" at xhaleslowly dot com. It's much better than mine.
This story is supposed to be a "memory piece" so everything is sentimental and a little unrealistic. Should I take it up to a M rating?
Unbeta'd. This chapter will be updated when it is. Please ignore the superfluous commas and sometimes off sentence tenses. I tried my best to fix it, but I know I didn't catch them all.
Enjoy.
Memories ・思い出
When Naruto thinks back to those moments—those breaths and ticking seconds on a clock when he felt he could never feel lonely again—he doesn't remember everything. If there had been more time in his life, with less missions and clear skies, he might think clearly and bring back all those details.
But the whole truth doesn't work when his partner has been on a mission for a month and the estimated completion time was only a week.
He takes a seat on the couch an dtakes a good look around the apartment. He never noticed how empty the place seemed with him only in it before. But he supposes one never acknowledges and values things until they're given and then taken away.
Naruto closes his eyes, takes a breath, and remembers. He recalls their frantic breathing, the spicy taste of Sasuke as the other pushed his tongue past his lips. He had often thought of their first few moments in their first real reunion, but he had never dreamt--hoped--that it would feel this good, this warm and filling. He remembers thinking, "This is Sasuke, isn't it? This is Sasuke with his firm body; Sasuke who I brought back?" There was only joy. Mission complete. Naruto remembers the chaotic grinding of their hips, the sound of clothing being ripped, and the single flickering flame in the room splashing shadows onto the wall. The shapes moved in their own clumsy dance, almost catching energy far different from the one the boys generated on the bed. He remembered thinking that this was right.
(Of course, Naruto doesn't remember the rough feeling of Sasuke's skin, covered in wounds he himself inflicted to get him away from Orochimaru. He has no memory of how Sasuke's mouth tasted like that damned coppery blood, or how Sasuke grew rough and he could suddenly taste his own blood too. There's no recollection of Sasuke's settled weight making him panic, as he had often worried about their first true reunion. And then… He doesn't remember giving in because he simply needed, quite the different person than the one who was confident and powerful enough to drag Sasuke home. The blonde never remembers his disappointment in how his first real kiss wasn't romantic, with the only light in the emergency base being his leftover candle from his survival kit. So long had Naruto's mission been that his supplies were exhausted, his belly empty, and the wick almost burned to the metal base.)
He remembers Sasuke's touch against his groin, the heat exploding from his fingertips. There was the possessive way Sasuke encircled him in his arms, the words saying, "Come now, it's okay." He remembers falling back onto the bed and simply crying out his passion, frustration, desires, and fulfillment, all of which brought a pleased smile to his lover's face.
(The boy doesn't remember the pinches and scratches or the way Sasuke's hold almost crushed him against his far-too-hard chest. Naruto doesn't remember how the words were more along the lines of "Come now, you know you don't have the endurance for it." The bed was sticky from their sweat, and Sasuke's smile was most certainly, undoubtedly, absolutely triumphant. But triumphant in the way that said: "I can work you into a frenzy with just a few strokes." He doesn't remember how he lost absolute control; biting and clawing Sasuke as he pushed closer to going over the edge. He doesn't recall the blush or his chagrin afterwards.)
He recalls the look on everyone's face when he first brought Sasuke back, one arm draped over the other's shoulder. Surprise, joy, a "congratulations." He remembers Sakura crying and running to both of them, hugging them so tight he couldn't exhale and say "hi." He felt happy and content, as he fulfilled a promise he had made years ago. His stubbornness finally helped, Tsunade said.
(There's no way he remembers the look of suspicion and disgust, or how Sasuke started to spend his nights at his house not only because Sasuke loved him, but because some of the villagers had burned down the Uchiha neighborhood long ago, when they learned that Sasuke helped Orochimaru with another invasion. The happy blonde doesn't remember that because he fulfilled a promise and brought back his most important person, he caused many to watch him again. They boy doesn't remember him being seen again as the monster because of his determination and strong friendships. Naruto doesn't remember the way he cried into Sasuke's chest and how he had denied any problems.)
Naruto, the A.N.B.U. captain, remembers the first time Sasuke took him. He was on his back against the soft warmth of his own mattress, and his hands were held securely in Sasuke's own. He remembers wanting to laugh because Sasuke's breath was tickling his stomach, but then came the push. Sasuke had silenced his gasps and moans with a smothering kiss and then continued on effortlessly as Naruto relaxed again. Naruto remembers feeling a little scared, but definitely fulfilled, happy, sexy, thrilled, and in love. His Sasuke, he remembers thinking. Sasuke Sasuke Sasuke. Them.
(Naruto, the loudest ninja of Konoha, doesn't know that he felt overwhelmed and exposed. He doesn't remember the cold air biting against his inner thighs, nor the way he whined when Sasuke pushed in, letting out an anguished cry to the heavens. It hurt so bad, so very very bad, and sent pain up his back in continuous waves. He doesn't remember feeling frightened or how he suddenly wanted to break away and throw up. But then again he also doesn't remember how he grew desperate soon after and pulled at Sasuke to tear clothing and skin, or how he begged for Sasuke to move closer. There's no memory of being hungry for touch, of being frantic, needy, and lustful.)
He replays the recollections over and over again, like a broken record. It brings certain warmth to his chest. Sometimes those memories are only cheerful, but once and a while, yet not too often, they carry a sad tone to them, like a long, undefined shadow that stretches out for miles and miles. Naruto always quickly pushes them away because he's knows it's not good to regret.
But either way, those moments keep him breathing and existing. It's okay if he doesn't remember everything or can't remember everything because they become his purpose and keep him happy, especially in waiting. Even when it's only five more seconds because Naruto hears Sasuke leaping up the stairs three at a time.
He stops replaying the memories now, because it's time to make more.
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Please review, even if it's constructive criticism. My only goal is to get better.