Author: Sparkle Itamashii

Title: Whiskey Wonders

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing A/C and its characters, settings, and plot are NOT MINE. Please do not take, alter, distribute or archive this story without my permission.

Note: This story is from my "Before Storm" one-shot series that all take place during the altered-plotline war and before the beginning of "Through the Storm" which may also be found amongst my fanfiction.

Whiskey Wonders

I remember, very clearly, the first time it happened.

I'd been cooped up in a safe house for nearly two weeks by myself, waiting for word from anyone else after we'd slipped away from the end of an Earthside battle. Half the forces we'd been facing had taken off chasing Quatre and I'd been worried sick for days afterwards. For a while I'd attempted to read or write or watch TV on the little four inch pocket television I'd permanently borrowed from an electronics store down the street. But try as I might I couldn't get my mind off the real world long enough to settle the knot in my stomach.

Thankfully it wasn't much longer than that before I was joined by a weary, mud-covered Duo Maxwell. He'd let himself in through the apartment's front door, picking sticks from his braid and mumbling something about ignorant monkeys. I hadn't bothered to ask, as I was fairly certain I didn't want to know, only went and turned on a warm shower for him while he peeled himself out of the soaking clothes he'd been wearing. The rain outside, beating on the windows, drowned out the sound of the shower. It wasn't until a few hours later, when I'd gotten bored of the book I was reading, that I'd gone to find him.

I found him stretched out on the only bed in the one bedroom apartment, arms above his head, hands lightly clasped. I followed his long braid down to where it coiled by his hip before looking to his face. My eyes traced over his features slowly, taking in his sleep-softened expression and for a moment I didn't see the violent, bouncy, self-proclaimed "God of Death". I saw… Duo. The child, the teenager; the person who had been so recklessly tossed into the midst of the same war as I had been.

Sometimes I forgot how young we all were, but in moments like that it really showed. I guess it was so easy to get wrapped up in the fighting and the killing and the hiding that the better things in life slipped right by without notice.

He stirred after a moment, half opening his eyes as though it were a great deal more effort than normal, and gave me an absolutely shameless smile. "Enjoying the view?" he murmured, stretching like the most languid of cats before yawning.

"Mm," I said, not really disagreeing as I wandered back to my couch to finish my book.

That was the way it had been with Duo, ever since we'd first met on the battlefield. He would say things, to me, to others, things which were meant to provoke. Maybe others let him, maybe they didn't. I didn't. Not that I'd never wanted to, or even that I'd never considered letting him get to me, but I never had and I didn't see that I ever would. I want to say that's because I'm a good person, or because I loved someone else, but the truth was I didn't know what to do around him or how to act. So I didn't act at all, and instead allowed him to say what he pleased, knowing I wouldn't respond.

Of course, Duo had other plans.

It was only a few days after he got there that he disappeared again. He left what little he'd brought with him – a beat up duffle bag with a change of clothes, a waterproof picture album, a few other things – so I knew he planned to return. I'd stretched out on the cookie-cutter couch that the apartment had come with and cracked the spine on a new book. Duo had bought it for me the day before, after he'd dragged me out around the town to scope the area in case we were found. I'd tried to convince him that it was called a safe-house because it was safe but I very shortly realized he wasn't only scoping out the area. He just wanted out for a bit.

I don't remember what the book was, or how far I got before I fell asleep where I lay. I'd been up late the night before on the phone with Wu Fei and then Quatre as they both checked in to see where we were and if we were okay. Quatre had twisted his ankle jumping from Sandrock when he'd had to bolt on foot so it had taken him longer to get to safety. Wu Fei found him and took him in and now they were staying at one of Quatre's residences, somewhere. They'd both been keen on talking until much later than I had expected and the lost sleep finally caught up with me while I was reading.

What I do remember is waking up to the sound of someone trying to get into the front door of the apartment. I had stirred when I heard the footsteps down the hallway, just enough to be aware that someone was there and I woke fully when I heard the sound of hands on the doorknob. I relaxed, however, when I heard Duo cursing blackly at the handle he was trying to unlock. Leaving my book where it lay on my chest, I closed my eyes and tried to find the place between asleep and awake again to enjoy the remnants of the dream I'd been having.

It didn't work.

Duo managed to unlock the front door only a moment after I closed my eyes and he practically collapsed in through the doorway. I could hear him perched on the ground, murmuring to himself and I sighed internally at the drunken slur to his words. Great. I had only dealt with Duo once when he was drunk and it was not fun in the least. He'd been very angry and self righteous and had talked a good deal of crap about a lot of people I didn't know. I didn't understand much and I wasn't sure I wanted to find out, ever. One torn past was about all my shoulders could carry.

This time it was different, though. He pulled himself off the floor, an effort that sounded like it cost him more than the entire rest of the war, and slunk over to where I lay on the couch. He knelt rather ungracefully at my side and picked mournfully at the stray little strings where stitches in the couch had come loose. A low, smooth noise escaped him, somewhere between a whine and a whimper and he sniffed. With a sigh he rested his forehead against the edge of the couch and I felt it was safe to open my eyes, just briefly.

"I'm sorry," he whispered and for a split second I thought he realized I was awake. But before I could open my mouth and ask, he continued. "I'm really stupid. I know it's hard to stay sane when all the rest of the world's insane, and I know I don't help. I know I shouldn't tease you so much because it is confusing and maybe you don't know what to think of me anymore. Maybe you never did- Heero never did either. Maybe you want me to stop. But I can't help it, Trowa."

I thought, he is clearly drunk, slurring and talking to himself, to me. For a moment I felt guilty because he thought I was asleep, but the feeling vanished just as quickly. He'd made the assumption, not me.

"I can't… help it," he repeated and I realized he was crying, or very close to it. "Everything gets so difficult sometimes. It's too much some days and I think I just want something normal every once in a while."

And I couldn't help myself, because he had spoken the very same thought I'd had a dozen times a day for as long as I could remember being able to think. Hesitantly I reached out and laid my hand atop his head, stroking softly down the silky brown hair. He didn't flinch and I realized without much surprise that he hadn't assumed I was asleep. He'd known I was awake.

"Nothing's normal, Duo," I whispered and he shivered once as if a tingle had crept up his spine. "Not for any of us."

"I'm… afraid," he responded, leaning into my hand just slightly. "I'm afraid that everything has gone so far out of whack that this is normal, that everything we do is normal and what should be normal isn't anymore. What happens then?"

"Then… I don't know," I said honestly. I didn't have an answer to that. I had asked myself that question often enough to know that there wasn't an answer, not one that was at all satisfying. "We keep moving. We keep working. We try and either things change or they don't. Either we have the power or we don't."

"But we have to try," he breathed, barely a noise. His voice cracked on the words and I felt my heart cracking a little bit in response. I felt like a little kid whose parents were asking him what to do in a crisis and I was coming up very short.

"Yeah," I agreed softly. "We always have to try."

His head lolled heavily to one side and his shoulders went slack in the same instant. Despite the sick feeling in my stomach from what he'd said, I felt the ghost of a smile on my lips. He'd passed out. The drunken idiot had talked himself into unconsciousness.

"Duo?" I asked, tugging my hand gently from beneath his ear. "Duo, man, c'mon. I'm not carrying you to the bed. I'm not carrying you anywhere."

He didn't respond, only made a slight whimpering noise in his sleep. With a sigh I heaved myself into a sitting position and placed my book neatly on the couch arm. He didn't budge, even when I nudged his knee with my foot. I felt stupid, sitting there with Duo while he was unconscious through his own doing and I wasn't really sure where to go from there. I admit, dumping a glass of cold water crossed my mind, but I quickly squashed the thought- Duo had a thing about revenge I didn't want to experiment with just now.

"I'm sorry, too," I said at last as I got to my feet, pushing up my long sleeves to get ready to lift his sorry butt up off the floor. I wasn't going to let him sleep out there like that. I could at least roll him to the couch or something. "I don't want you to stop," I said softly as I scooped up his dead weight. Standing there in the middle of the room, the thin, sleeping kid in my arms, I understood that I wasn't going to leave him on the couch either. "Don't ever stop teasing any of us. That's one normal I'd like to keep."

It was only a few steps to the bedroom, where I lay him gently on one side of the queen bed and worked the covers out from under him so I could pull them over the top of him. He stirred just a little bit as I did it and I felt a smile again. It was strange, to smile. I hardly ever did but I felt it was becoming a more frequent habit the more I got to know the other gundam pilots.

"Trowa," Duo murmured, almost a purr, just as I was about to leave the room.

"Mm?" I questioned, pausing in the doorway. I didn't like that tone of voice.

A Cheshire cat's smile crept across his lips and I was glad it was dark; he couldn't see me blush. "Kiss me goodnight."

It wasn't a question. It wasn't a request.

I thought about walking away and I thought about walking to him but I just stood there. He had not often gone past innuendo and implying. I won't say he'd never wanted anything from me, or that he hadn't asked before, but he had never sounded as serious as he did just then. Immediately I wondered… Had he heard me, a few minutes ago?

"You don't have to," he said quietly, giving me an easy escape should I want to take it.

I didn't take it.

I didn't want to take it.

Slowly, feeling like I was the one who had been passing out drunk, I crossed the room again and stopped at the edge of the bed, just barely touching it. He smiled and closed his eyes, looking for all the world like a little kid about to get tucked in and kissed goodnight and I felt like laughing at my own stupidity. He was acting like a cute little kid, trying to escape the seriousness of what he'd said when he entered the apartment. I smiled, hands pressing into the soft covers as I leaned over to play along and kiss him goodnight.

Unfortunately Duo wasn't playing the same game as I was. A second before I kissed his forehead he tilted his head back and caught my lips with his for just a moment. Surprised I pulled back but his hand caught my sleeve and I stopped. The look he gave me right then sent goose bumps shivering over my skin in the most delightful way.

"You can do better that that," he purred softly, gently tugging me closer, never taking his violet eyes from mine.

Surrendering even as I promised myself I wouldn't fall for it, I leaned over him again. I paused just short and Duo made an adorable noise of exasperation before closing the gap. His lips were rough but soft and I felt the rest of the world skew just a little bit as he kissed me. The sensation was different than other kisses I had shared, not more or less, but different. Very… Duo.

"Don't tease me, Duo," I said when he finally pulled very reluctantly away from me.

"I'm not teasing," he replied, kissing my cheek and pulling me gently onto the bed and sinking in beside me as I lay down with him. "I'm… moving forward. Things either change or they don't, like you said."

"Would you still move this direction," I mused, brushing stray hair from his eyes- his braid was coming loose. "If you hadn't been drinking?"

"Of course!" he laughed and I rolled my eyes. But as he pulled me into another kiss, fingers wandering down my chest over my sweater, I realized something important. Something very important. He had not slurred a word since I set him on the bed and there was not a trace of alcohol on his breath. I smiled in earnest when I realized it, and I kissed him back slowly.

And that… that was the first time it happened. That was the first time, since I had joined the war, since I had met Duo on that dusty, blackened battlefield, that I understood that I didn't have to fight this war on my own. I wasn't alone anymore.

I would never really be alone again.

And I really, really liked how that felt.

/End Whiskey Wonders/