Author's note: I don't own anything.

I like to write while listening to music that compliments the writing so in case anyone wants to listen while reading, I listened to a cover of Reluctant Heroes found on youtube by Rachellular

Hope you like it.

As the sun set outside Levi put his head on his desk in his office at the castle that had served as the old HQ site. His jacket hung neatly on the back of his chair. He felt like he had a lump in his throat. Today had been one of his worst since joining the Survey Corps. His entire squad had been wiped out by the Female Titan.

He clenched his fists on the desk. She would pay. He would kill her slowly. He would make her pay for the pain she had caused. In the quietness of the castle sobs could be heard resonating through its walls. Too many had died today.

He couldn't protect Petra. He couldn't protect any of them. In the end, humanity's most powerful soldier couldn't protect his squad. Tears leaked from his closed eyes. They were all gone.

Oluo Bozado

Eld Jinn

Gunther Schultz

Petral Ral

They were all gone.

When they were collecting bodies the newer recruits were seen crying. The more experienced all wore the same unmoved expression. After years of seeing comrades fall, most learned that in some moments, some things were more important. You learned to save your grief for later, you learned to lock it away. Levi locked every death in his heart, it was what drove him. At least that's what he usually did.

Petra…

She was skilled beyond most, that was how he had come to handpick her for his squad. She, like everyone else in the Survey Corps was a trained killer. In battle she was determined, confident in her skills, trusting of the rest of Squad Levi but when away from battle she was compassionate, empathetic, kind. It was only when she had joined his squad that he discovered more about her. She had kept her humanity, he couldn't say that he hadn't lost some of his along the way. Slowly, somehow by accident he had fallen in love with her. With the way she made everyone around her smile and feel special. The way she lived her life with dedication. She would get up early in the mornings to go jogging before showering and making coffee for everyone for the squad.

The three unsaid sacred words clung to his lips. How could eight letters hold so much meaning? They had never dared to say them. Soldiers weren't afforded the chance to love, especially those in the Survey Corps. They had all lived each day, grateful that they were still alive to see the sunrise, mourning those who couldn't. How many had died in the line of duty?

They had an unspoken agreement to never talk about tomorrow. They never knew how many tomorrows they had left. They stole moments whenever they could, knowing each one was precious.

She had called him her 'reluctant hero'. They would always embrace before an expedition, not knowing if they would make it back.

'Be strong, my reluctant hero' she would always murmur with her lips next to his ear.

He had always replied with something blunt. He kicked himself for that now. He should have told her how he always got strength from her saying that. How his warm his heart felt when he heard those words.

They had slept together only once. That was when it had all begun, one evening in his office.

'I made a promise to myself when I joined the Special Operations Squad.' she had said 'To live up to your expectations and to devote myself fully to the squad…'

She had taken a tiny step closer to him. Their boots were almost touching. He had noticed her trembling.

'…and to you' she had whispered.

That was when his hands had reached for her soft cheeks and he had brought his lips to hers, kissing her for the first time.

'Heichou…' she had whispered as he kissed her neck, his lips exploring every crevice and crease, her gentle scent intoxicating him.

'Levi' he had murmured, correcting her.

He had been afraid of hurting her. She had been hesitant, though she had insisted that it wasn't her first time. Perhaps it was that she had been afraid of disappointing him. She had been tentative at first, but became more passionate as her confidence grew.

They kissed and explored each other's bodies in the little single bed in his bedroom adjoining the office. She had hesitantly touched him, her delicate hands tracing the contours of his muscles and the raised scars. He had marvelled at her naked form, each item of clothing he had removed had revealed a part of her that he had never seen before. Her delicate collar bones, the graceful way her waist curved from her hips, her slender arms, delicate pale skin, he had kissed it all. She had trembled with anticipation.

As she lay bathed in candlelight he had stopped and looked at her in awe. She was so… beautiful. How had he not seen that before?

'What is it, Levi?' she had said, blushing under his gaze.

Nothing spurred him on like when she said his name. She had looked so beautiful when she had cried his name at the point of ecstasy. She had felt so good, unimaginably so. Her shuddering passion had sent him over the edge. They had clung to each other as they came down. Sweat had covered their skin, their breathing had become ragged. Even then, she gave him one of her sweet smiles.

'Levi' she had whispered as she brushed the hair out of his eyes before falling asleep on his chest.