Ren: Okay, today we have a real treat for you.
Dezi: Yeah!
Ren: The main characters of this script are…
Both: Us!
Dezi: We have been making rated T stories for far too long! Time to move on up!
Ren: (Blush) yes…move on…up…
Dezi: So join us as we search for the perfect yaoi couple for our first Lemon EVER!!!
Ren: But it can be any kind of couple…
Both: Join us as we go through our five favorite Animes / Mangas!
Disclaimer: We own almost nothing.
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Search for the best lemon!
"First, we go to Gravitation!"
So we teleported to the Gravi world…
"Hey, guys!" Our friend-slash-creation greeted us.
"Hey, Reno, can we do a lemon on your Dads?" Dezi asked.
Kureno smiled "Sure, as long as you don't put Viagra in their drinks and cameras in their room."
We both turned to Dezi slowly.
Dezi shoved a bottle of pills and a mini-camera into his pockets. "Of course not!"
Kurenotapped her chin "Well, I don't know, it could be angst, or drama."
"Try living with her." Dezi said pointing at me.
"Dezi!" I whined.
"But I thought you pulled people closer to each other, my parents are already deeply in love. In addition, you got my uncle hitched." Kureno pointed out.
"Okay, you wanna pick our next destination?" I asked them.
"Sure! Loveless!" Kureno yelled.
So we teleported to the Loveless world…
So we searched, hoping to find pain and denial. But we saw Ritsuka and Soji making out on a bench.
"Wait, aren't they together?" I asked.
Dezi had the camera next to them, too close for comfort.
Soji saw him "What the-"
I winced "Dezi don't-"
POW! POW! POW! THUD!!!
"Ow…" He sat up with a black eye "Well, screw you buddy!"
"Oops…Sorry…" Kureno asked.
"You okay?" I asked and helped him up.
"I'm fine!" He growled.
"Too violent, plus you would have issues."
"Damn it, we only got three more trips!"
"Okay, Saiyuki."
So we teleported to Saiyuki world…
"Okay, who?"
"Momo!!!" I heard an all too familiar voice call.
"Goku!" I squealed and hugged my old friend.
"What are you doing here?"
"Search for the best lemon!"
Goku blushed and rubbed the back of his head. "Um, there aren't many boy / girl couples."
"We're looking for guy couples…"
"Oh! Um, well there's Hakkai and Gojyo…and um, me and…"
I took his hand, hoping to gain his trust. "You and who?"
"…Sanzo…"
"Oh…Oh no…Hakkai's too sweet and Gojyo's super perverted…"
"You got me!" Dezi whined.
"Yea, but, Sanzo will kill us!" I exclaimed.
"Then Sanzo's a tight ass."
Bang!
A bullet hole wasn't too far from his head. "What the hell?!"
"Momo?"
"It's Ren now." How many times do I have to explain this crap?!
"You took your aunts title?"
I sighed "Yes, she left me in power to continue story telling."
"Because story-telling is a culture trait of the Van Darr's."
"Van wha?" Goku asked.
"Her ancestors were Romanian. They were story telling Gypsies."
"Mexican, Native American, Japanese, French, Egyptian and Romanian?
Your family must have got around…" Kureno said.
Okay, maybe this got me a little mad…
"Enough about me! No one needs to know about my life! No one cares! I need to make a lemon off a gay couple, so unless you do it, I'll go!"
"Fine, go, see you later."
I Hugged Goku. "Bye, Monkey. I need to keep looking."
"Fucking tight ass." Dezi muttered.
"Dezi!' I yelled and grabbed him by the ear.
"ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ear! Ear! Ear! Ear!"
" Goku started to wave franticly.
"Kay, where to next?"
"Any original places?"
"Original?" I asked.
"Inuyasha." Dezi said.
"Who?" We asked together.
Dezi snapped his fingers. "Oh no you didn't! You people don't know Inuyasha?"
Kureno and I looked at each other, then shrugged.
Dezi sighed "Oh god…live under a rock…Well, he is a dog demon. Okay?"
I cocked my head "A dog demon, wait, Inuyasha's someone's name?"
"I never heard of him…" Kureno said.
"…wow. Oh, and he's an intended necrophiliac!" Dezi said.
"Sounds interesting! Let's go!" I yelled.
So we Teleported to Inuyasha world…
I suddenly saw this super dark, but also super hot guy. "Who's that sexy beast?"
"That's the main bad guy, Naraku."
"I like bad boys…" I said licking my lips.
Kureno suddenly blushed "Oh your god…Who is that angel?"
"That's Sesshoumaru, the main character's half brother, he's a full demon." Dezi explained.
"Do you think we could...?"
"Dark / light yaoi time?"
"Yes!"
Dezi was on the verge of a nosebleed "I'm Bi, so I totally agree to this idea."
"Okay, so stop touching my butt."
"Um, I'm over here."
I turned to see this guy wearing monk robes groping my butt. So I did what any mature teenage girl would do; I started wacking him with a random stick "Get off me you pervert!"
" Dezi kicked him. "Yea! Only I'm allowed to touch that ass!"
I flicked him in the forehead and muttered "Shut up."
"Miroku you bastard! I thought we had a deal!!!" We heard a woman yell and come charging towards us.
"Let's get out of here! REN!!!" I heard Kureno whine.
However, I was busy. Okay, I was making out with Naraku.
Dezi grabed me by my kitty collar. "Come on!" he growled.
"Just a little more! Please!" What? He has a technique! Fan-girls kill me later.
"Let's go, Ren."
"Aw!" I sighed clawing at the air.
"Gods! I want to drink now!"
So we Teleported to the xxxHolic world…
"Yuuko!!!" Dezi yelled as we walked in the shop.
"Hey Miss Yuuko!"
"Hello Kureno, dear. Desri, Momo."
"I'm Ren now, Miss Yuuko."
"Ah! You succeed your aunt?"
"She got married and started making AMVs."
"Ah."
"Got any good Sake?"
"Why yes! I thought you'd never ask, Watanuki!" She called with a smile.
"Yes, ma'am?"
Kureno tackle-hugged the boy crying "Nuki-chan!"
" Kureno! Momo! Desri!"
"I'm Ren now…"
"Don't call me by my full name. It's Dezi."
"Oh."
"So you are searching for something?"
"A yaoi couple who needs a helping hand in their relationship and who are in love."
"With a pinch of Humor."
"Or Drama."
"They have to be attractive."
"It would be nice if they were young."
"And trying to get over the fact that they are in love."
Yuuko gave an evil grin "I think I can grant that wish…"
"Really?!"
"Yes. But you have to help. And the price will be…to give me seven copies."
"You've got yourself a deal, Miss Yuuko!"
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Ren: Oh my god! This is gonna be great!
Dezi: Perfect fit!
Kureno: I wanna go home…
Dezi: But we need you. (points at readers)
Ren: Yes, you.
Dezi: To help us.
Ren: If you want to be in this story, or give an idea…
Dezi: Guess the couple,
Ren: Send us a description of your character or idea,
Dezi: And if you get it right,
Both: Your in!
Dezi:( Dramatic voice) And now…the hint…
Ren: The Uke is a spazz and the Seme is an archer.
Dezi: Well, happy hunting!
Ren: See ya later!
Dezi: Just click the review tab and send those babies in!
Ren: Love ya!