I wrote this story mostly to cope with the horrible events of last sunday's episode. It helped me a lot and I hope some of you will like it.
The Dowager Countess and Tom have been my favorite characters since season one and I really like their scenes in season three. I loved it that the Dowager immediately asked after him when she arrived in Downton the morning after Sybil's dead and I imagine something like the following scene could have happen a little later that morning.
I thank Scarlet very much for her editing. Especially since this has been a very sad week for us S/T shippers.
Reviews are very welcome.
An Unusual Courtship
"Tom..."
"Lady Grantham."
For the first time since he knew her, the Dowager Countess seemed at a loss for words. She came toward him, where he was standing at the window, holding his daughter in his arms. She was leaning heavily on her stick, her shoulders, normally straight and proud, now bowing slightly.
When she was standing right before him, she reached out and took his free hand in hers.
"Tom, I'm so sorry. My dear boy, how are you doing?"
She knew there was no answer and she didn't expect one. Still he tried.
"Lady Grantham. I'm... I'm still..." he trailed off. Knowing no words to describe his pain. He hung his head and blinked back the tears that welled up his eyes.
The Dowager nodded. "Tom, I want you to know that we're here for you. I don't want you to feel alone now. I know what Sybil meant to you. And I know what you meant to her."
He nodded blindly.
"Thank you."
He looked down where her old wrinkled hand was still holding his. It was oddly comforting to feel her hold him. None of the family had offered him a comforting gesture so far. Not that he wanted them to do it. They were still all strangers to him, except maybe Matthew. He was the closest thing to a friend he had in the family, but still...
He had always been a little bit terrified of the Dowager, admiring her strength and bluntness, but also fearing her judgement. She was not one for change. She didn't approve of her granddaughter's choice of marrying a chauffeur. She dealt with it and accepted it, but she didn't like it.
Still she was the one who was there for him now, and for the first time since those horrid moments when he had to watch helplessly as her life slipped away from him, he didn't feel alone.
Lady Grantham was now staring down at the baby in his arms.
"Oh she's so beautiful, Tom. Such a precious little girl."
New tears came to his eyes, when he remembered saying exactly these words to his beloved wife in the one small blissful moment they had as a family.
"She is," he choked out. "I've named her Sybil."
The old woman nodded. "That's a good choice. Let's hope she will turn out just as wonderful as her mother was, and has happy."
"Happy?" he groaned bitterly. "When you die at 24?!"
"She was happy, Tom," the Dowager said. "She told me so and I could see it in her eyes when she looked at you. Everyone could see how you adored her. You made her very happy."
He looked at her. "She told you?"
"Sybil, dear, you look well, I must say. I hope you are doing well?"
They were sitting in the Dowager house's drawing room the morning after they arrived for Edith's wedding. She had wanted to talk to her youngest granddaughter alone, so she summoned her there.
"I'm very well, Granny." Sybil placed the cup of tea on the small table before her. "No morning sickness any more. I'm actually enjoying this stage of pregnancy."
"Yes, I remember I did, too.",Her grandmother nodded. "I'm so happy you called on me today. I haven't had much opportunity to speak to you in private since your wedding."
Sybil looked at her expectantly. "What do you mean?"
"Well, we all know that you're leading a different life now,and I know it was your choice. But I wanted to know if you're happy. I hope you have no reason to regret your rash decision."
Sybil smiled. "No, I have no regrets at all, Granny. And it wasn't a rash decision, quite the contrary really."
Her grandmother raised an eyebrow. "Oh? As I remember, there were barely four weeks between your announcement to marry Tom and the wedding. I think that is rather rash. I'm glad you don't regret it though. I must say I can see that your husband dotes on you. Anyone with eyes can see that."
Sybil blushed. "He does, doesn't he? But see, Granny, I didn't decide to marry Tom out of the blue. We've been friends for so long and he actually waited two years for my answer!"
"Two years?" The Dowager exclaimed. "I had no idea! That must have been an unusual courtship indeed since he was the chauffeur. Do tell me about it!"
Sybil smiled in remembrance. "Do you remember when Papa hired him? It was in 1913 and actually, he caught my eye even then. But of course I didn't really think about it. It was just that I noticed he was very handsome even then."
"I remember thinking that your father was adventurous hiring such a handsome young man to drive his daughters around," her grandmother agreed. "Aside from his political views."
"But it was politics that made us friends though. He overheard something I said to mother about women's rights and that made such an impression on him that he dared to speak to me the next day when he was driving me into Ripon." She smiled again. "He even brought me some pamphlets to read."
"That must be the first time I've heard "pamphlets" as a way to win a woman's heart", the Dowager said. "what a romantic notion!."
Sybil chuckled. "It was exciting, really. But no, he didn't win my heart then as you put it. There was no thinking of that for a long time. Remember I was only seventeen then. I wasn't thinking about men at all. But see, that's how we became friends and I mean real friends. I found out that I could talk to him about so many things my family just didn't care about and you were all treating me like a baby anyway. Everything was about Mary and the entail at the time and nobody really cared about my thoughts and opinions. But Tom did. He listened to me and he talked to me as if we were equals."
"Impudent even then," Her grandmother was displeased. "You weren't equals. You were his employer's daughter."
"No, I didn't mean that," Sybil tried to explain. "He always treated me with respect, always. He never took liberties or familiarities in his address to me, only in talking to me at all, which of course wasn't strictly forbidden, but nothing beyond that. By'equals' I mean, that he valued my opinion on things. He has strong views and he's well read and far more educated in politics and history than I ever was. But he was a man who still listened to all I had to say and if he didn't agree he said so. We argued and discussed and sometimes he made me see his point, but there were numerous occasions when he saw mine. It was... well wonderful, really. We talked about books, too. He even read Jane Austen for me."
The dowager chuckled. "I think I understand that. It's modern and unusual, but I can see you falling for that. Was it then when you fell in love?"
"It probably was," Sybil smiled. "But it took me a long time to realize it. He felt it long before I did. He told me he knew he loved me when I was hurt at the count in Ripon. But I was blissfully unaware of it until 1916, when I went to nursing training in York..."
She paused for a second before she continued. "It was when he brought me there that he told me about his feelings. That he knew I was too far above him, but he just couldn't keep it in any longer. He asked me to bet on him and that he would devote every waking moment to my happiness. I was shocked."
The Dowager nodded. "So I can imagine! Didn't it ever occur to you before that he loved you?"
"No," Sybil shook her head. "Really not. All I had seen was his friendship. Oh, there were moments when I caught him looking at me and there was one single occasion at Mama's garden party, when he and I held hands out of excitement over Gwen's job as a secretary. In retrospect I know there definitely was an attraction, but until York I had been very successful in denying it. I think it was because I knew there was no way I could have feelings for a chauffeur. So I didn't think about it."
"So what did you tell him then?"
Sybil sighed. "It was hard. I could see the despair in his eyes when I let him down. I didn't really say anything. I was too shocked to do so. But I didn't encourage him either. I told him I was 'flattered' and mainly stared at the ground. It was only when he declared he would hand in his notice and be gone before I returned that I suddenly realized I was about to be losing my best friend."
"And?"
"I couldn't let that happen! So I begged him not to leave Downton and told him no one would ever know about his proposal from me, and lucky for me, he stayed."
"He must have been devastated though," the Dowager said. "Although I don't see how he could hope to get a positive answer in the first place. How was it then when you came back from your training?"
Sybil grimaced. "Awkward at first. Something had definitely changed between us. But he made an effort not to make me uncomfortable and tried to resume our friendship as it had been before. And I...," she blushed. "I suddenly realized how attracted I was to him."
"Uh uh," the Dowager smiled. "Actually I suspected something like that. Of course, I had no idea it was Branson , but I knew there had to be somebody who was probably inappropriate. I thought maybe one of the officers though. I remember telling Mary that I was wondering why you weren't in love with somebody since I was constantly falling in and out of love at that age."
"Yes, only that I didn't fall out of love, but deeper and deeper in love. I was glad I had my work at the hospital at that time, since I still didn't intend to act on it. But I knew then what it meant when he looked at me like that and sometimes when he had this dreamy smile on his face, I could just have um... run over and kiss him, really."
Her grandmother looked at her scandalized. "I hope you didn't!"
Sybil chuckled. "Of course I didn't. Instead we quarrelled a lot at that time. I think he was really frustrated by then and he didn't know what to do with himself any more. He was turned down by the military and although he didn't intend to fight in the British Army, he also wasn't content with just hanging around Downton and waiting for me to say yes or no. There was the Easter rising in Ireland and he lost a cousin then. More and more he felt useless. He told me later that he had almost lost hope I was ever going to say yes anyway. Had he just known how I felt, he probably wouldn't have done this stupid thing with the General."
"The General? Pray what do you mean with that?"
"Oh, it is a secret well kept by Mr Carson and Mrs Hughes. Tom wanted to stage a protest and decided to pour some horrid soup over General Strutt's head, the one that came to dine with us to inspect the hospital?" Seeing her grandmother remembering the fellow, she continued "But luckily he was caught before he could do it and since he promised not to do any more protests he wasn't sacked. Of course one of the main reasons was probably that Mr. Carson was out of male staff members anyway so he didn't want to lose one more."
"If I had known," The Dowager shook her head. "I had no idea there were so exciting adventures happening in this house at that time!"
"To be honest," Sybil said "I hadn't either. I was furious when I found out what he intended to do and we had a real fight. But strangely our relationship was better afterwards. We hadn't really talked about our feelings for a long time then. But then during the fight he told me bluntly, that he would stay in Downton till I was ready to run away with him and that he knew I loved him and was only too scared to admit it."
"Run away with him!" Her grandmother exclaimed. "My goodness what a scandal!"
"I was shocked. But to be honest, less because of the scandal, but more that he knew my feelings. I had been so sure to give him no clue and he did nothing to take advantage of me. Really, he never touched me, tried to kiss me or anything. I wonder if he knew how easy it would have been by then to get the decision he wanted. I was head over heels by then and I am sure if he had used more uh... seductive ways to get his answer, I would have submitted easily. But he didn't want that."
"Impressive," the old woman nodded. "He must be a very patient man."
"He was then," Sybil smiled. "But he got his answer anyway. The first step for me was to tell Mary about him. She was horrified of course and listed all points that spoke against our marriage. But the more she spoke against it, the more I started to realize that all that didn't matter any more. I had started to lead a very different life two years ago, when I became a nurse. I wasn't the girl any more that I had been before the war. I couldn't care about going to balls, or dinners, or having garden parties and fancy new dresses any more. I had changed and I had definitely changed in Tom's direction."
The Dowager smiled. "And so you finally said yes."
Sybil nodded. "I finally did." She smiled when she remembered the moment she told Tom. "It was the evening Matthew stood up from his wheelchair. Everyone was excited and I ran to the garage late in the evening. It was wonderful. We were so happy and so full of plans. And it was so good to be finally able to show how I felt. Everything fell into place that night."
She paused. For a second she even thought about telling her grandmother about the failed elopement, but decided then to not shock her. It was the one detail she would keep secret.
"And we made it so difficult for you," her grandmother sighed. "I'm nearly ashamed we did. Such a romantic story!"
Sybil laughed. "Would it have helped if I told you then?"
"Probably not," the Dowager said and winked at her. "But then I don't know for sure. I always had a thing for romance. So now tell me about your life in Dublin. Was it difficult to settle into your new life? And your marriage?"
"The marriage part was easy," Sybil blushed. "It didn't take much time getting used to it. None, actually. I guess we're just naturals at being husband and wife." She laughed. "Settling into a 'normal life' wasn't always easy. But Tom helped me a lot. I mean, we would have starved if he hadn't been able to cook our meals! I really had not much idea about housework aside from the little bits I learned from Mrs Patmore before I left for York. But I am proud to say, I am well organized and managed to learn it pretty quickly and I don't mind working. I liked it as I was a nurse and I still like it. It's nice to have a purpose and a goal for a day, even if it is only to do the laundry, and then when I started working as a nurse again, I really loved it."
"But don't you miss the comfort sometimes? The luxury of Downton?" The Dowager seemed sceptical. "It can't be comfortable to work the whole day,specially if you're not used to it, nd to do everything yourself, having not enough money to buy your clothes and all the things you always had in abundance?"
Sybil shook her head. "No, not at all actually. I love our flat. It's cosy and nice and it has Tom in it. When I come home from work it's the highlight of my day to see his welcoming smile and find he already prepared our dinner or did something else to make me happy. He really makes me happy, Granny. He's just a wonderful man and perfect for me. I don't want anything else and I miss nothing and now we're even more blessed, because we're expecting. We can't wait to be parents. I'm sure Tom will be a wonderful father, too."
"Well," the Dowager smiled softly. "It really seems you have made the right choice then."
"I did, Granny. I absolutely did."
Tom was silently crying again, when the Dowager ended her story. She patted his hand again.
"She told me you would 'devote every waking minute to her happiness' and so you did, Tom. Not many women have a husband like you, and not many children will have a father like you, if you'll give little Sybil as much love as you gave her mother."
"I will," Tom said softly. "I promise."
The Dowager smiled, her eyes full of tears now, too. "She will be a lucky girl then."
She turned around to leave.
"Lady Grantham," Tom said before the reached the door.
"Yes?"
"Thank you."
The Dowager shook her head. "Don't thank me, Tom. I think we should thank you instead, for loving our darling Sybil so much. I know we haven't made this easy for you. And now your situation is even worse. But I promise I will not let you down. You'll have my support."
With a last glance at the baby in his arm, she left the room.
Tom stared at the closed door for a second then he kissed little Sybil's head.
"You know what, Darling, " he whispered softly "That was your Great-grandmother. She's an amazing woman. Your mother always told me so and she was right as usual. I think we might have an unexpected ally here in the family now."
He turned to look out of the window again, cuddling his daughter in his arm, feeling her warmth and listening to her steady breathing. The little, beautiful girl that was part of him and part of the woman he loved so much gave him so much comfort. She was there for him and he would be there for her. Always.