Disclaimer: Characters belong to BBC. Original book belongs to Shel Silverstein. I own nothing but this teeny idea :-)
Warning: Slight OOC.
Once there was an Army Doctor… and he loved a little Consulting Detective.
And every day the Detective would come
And he would gather the Doctor's phones and jumpers and spout deductions.
He would pull him along to assist on cases and demand coffee with two sugars.
And they would play Cluedo when the Detective was bored.
And when he was tired, he would sleep in the Doctor's warm embrace.
And the Detective loved the Doctor…very much.
And the Doctor was happy.
But time went by.
And the Detective grew older.
And the Doctor was often alone.
Then one day the Detective came to the Doctor and the Doctor said, "Come, Detective, come and play Cluedo and make deductions and demand coffee with two sugars and sleep in my embrace and be happy."
"I am too big to play," said the Detective.
"I want to dress up and look awesome. I want a Belstaff coat. Can you give me a Belstaff coat?"
"I'm sorry," said the Doctor, "but I have no Belstaff coats. I have only Cluedo and coffee. Take my sugar and coffee, Detective, and sell it in the city. Then you will have money to buy a Belstaff coat and you will be happy."
And so the Detective gathered his sugar and coffee and carried it away.
And the Doctor was happy.
But the Detective stayed away for a long time…and the Doctor was sad.
And then one day the Detective came back and the Doctor shook with joy and he said, "Come, Detective, play Cluedo with me and make deductions and be happy."
"I am too bored to play," said the Detective. "I want a case to solve." he said. "I want some brain-work to do, and so I need a case. Can you give me a case?"
"I have no case," said the Doctor. "I am a Doctor. But you may take my jumpers and phones and deduce your heart out. Then you will be happy."
And so the Detective took away his jumpers and phones to make all the deductions he wanted.
And the Doctor was happy.
But the Detective stayed away for along time.
And when he came back, the Doctor was so happy he could hardly speak.
"Come, Detective," he whispered, "come and play."
"I am too weary and sad to play," said the Detective.
"I want something that will charm the heart of an intelligent lady. Can you give me something to do so?"
"Take my Cluedo," said the Doctor.
"Then you can charm your lady… and be happy."
And so the Detective took her Cluedo. And charmed his lady and went away.
And the Doctor was happy…but not really.
And after a long time the Detective came back again. "I am sorry, Detective," said the Doctor, "but I have nothing left to give you—My coffee is gone."
"I am too old to drink coffee," said the Detective.
"My jumpers are gone," said the Doctor. "You cannot make deductions from them…"
"My brain is too old to make deductions," said the Detective.
"My Cluedo is gone," said the Doctor. "You cannot play…"
"I am too tired to play," said the Detective.
"I am sorry," sighed the Doctor.
"I wish that I could give you something...but I have nothing left. I am just an old pensioner. I am sorry..."
"I don't need very much now," said the Detective, "just a person to talk to and sleep with. I am very tired."
"Well," said the Doctor, opening his arms as wide as he could, "well, an old pensioner is good for talking to and sleeping with, Come, Detective, and go to sleep. Sleep in my warm embrace."
And the Detective did.
And the Doctor was happy.
"Come," said the Author, "Come and read and review."
And the Eager Reader (a.k.a. you) did.
And the Author was happy.
-Ctenophore. D
P.S. I'm so sorry for the Sherlock OOC here! I just couldn't think of another thing to do with Cluedo! But enjoy anyways!