Disclaimer: Sadly, Twilight is too awesome to possibly be owned by a sad little fanfiction writer like me.
Welcome everyone! Thanks for reading!
So here's the deal, I have no idea what people will think of this. I really hope you guys like it. Review, so I will know to keep working on it.
Just so you know this can be viewed as a companion story. I started another story a few months ago called Picking Up the Pieces. It is the same story line but is from Bella's perspective instead. You don't have to read the other one if you don't want, its just there if you want more of this story. This one is from Edward's perspective. I had just been writing that fanfic and I started wondering what it would be like in Edward's head in this situation. So the idea eventually grew into this long time worked on story. I shall continue on it if you guys like it.
I just thought it would be a challenge as a writer to use the same original situation but take it from another character's point of view.
So, enough explanation! Read, and then tell me if you guys want any more!
I have lived for over a century.
I have seen many many things in all my years.
I've heard every sad story you can imagine. I have even been part of some.
I've heard of the sorrow of losing love more times than you can count.
But never once did I stop and think about what that would feel like.
That is until now, when it has actually happened.
The complete and utter love of my existence has had her memory erased.
Some say that that is not as bad as losing them all together but it seems to equal that pain.
Her every memory of what we had was gone. She doesn't remember me, my family and perhaps what's worse, what I am.
This completely shakes all I had convinced myself.
All my arguments against leaving her have been erased.
Do I stay for my own selfish desires and entangle her once more within my dangerous ways?
Or do I let her go before she gets in too deep again?
All I know is that this has changed everything and I don't know what I can do anymore; but it will only get worse.
This is my story…
As a vampire, time means very little to me.
Most of the time.
I have lived for over a century, surely a few hours shouldn't seem this long.
At least, that's what I try to tell myself. In all my years of being alive, hours stretch on for decades when I'm not with Bella.
It is a sunny day. That fact alone is a reason for celebration for most of the citizens of Forks, but for me and I suppose for Bella as well, it is a reason to mourn. Its days like this that I truly regret being what I am. As vampires my family and I, on days like this, give off glittering reflections of light. Or put more simply, sparkle in the sun. This means that we can not interact with humans normally in most places. It is much easier in a rainy town like Forks but still, it can't be cloudy all the time. There are some days like today, when the sun must shine. For the longest time, I never cared whether it was shining or not. It only decided where I would spend the day. But in the past year, that has all changed.
When Bella came my world was transformed. True I was attracted to her for an entirely different reason in the beginning, but it's not her blood that has me mesmerized now. Everything about her intrigues me. Her laugh, the flush of her cheeks, her odd memories of her mother and her unique way of viewing the world. Everything about her draws me in.
But today, we can't be together.
I sat on her bed, it was now morning, but she still slept. It might have been a good idea to wake her, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
She shifted once more before she opened her eyes. Bella's sleepy look melted into disappointment as she saw the sun through her blinds and she groaned.
But before she could have the chance to mope more on the weather, I decided to distract her.
"Good morning, gorgeous." I whispered in her ear.
A smile replaced the disappointment, as she rolled over so that she could face me. I straightened up to sit by her, as opposed to leaning on her, like I was.
While I did so, she groggily asked, with the slightest bit of sarcasm, "Good morning yourself. How was your night?"
I couldn't help but smile. Last night had been most entertaining.
Bella has the humorous habit of talking in her sleep. It often gives me an insight to her mind that I can't get when she is awake. Though I am sure she enjoys her privacy, it can be very maddening at times that she is the only person who can hide her thoughts from me. But last night was simply comical; no deep revelations escaped her lips last night.
Very carefully choosing my words I spoke, not able to hide a grin, "It was…interesting."
Despite my word choice, or perhaps because of it, Bella could still tell what I had meant.
Groaning, she covered her face out of embarrassment, "Oh no. I talked again, didn't I?"
She was such an entertaining girl; I had to smile, "Yes. And it was quite amusing, I must say."
Bella had obviously been fighting between embarrassment and curiosity. Curiosity won out as she uncovered her face, but closed her eyes, expecting the worse, "What did I say this time?"
I had to fight against laughing. It was not really the disaster she was fearing, it was simply quite funny. I leaned in, granting her with the answer she sought, "I believe you were being attacked by rabbits. Tell me Bella, what is it about a bunny that frightens you that vampires and werewolves lack?"
She flushed, making me smile. I am always quite fond of that tendency of hers.
Her eyes flashed open as she shoved me; I indulged her by moving aside at her touch. I know how frustrated she can get by my lack of human reactions.
"Oh be quiet." She commanded, rabbits clearly weren't what she was expecting.
Though I was loathe to I knew it was time to address the day's weather, "So where shall I meet you today?"
I moved my hands through her hair, trying to bring something pleasant to this depressing conversation. We normally met up somewhere when it was sunny out; it was how we both survived the day. She clearly did not like this topic and it showed as she frowned, "It's really
sunny out today, isn't it?"
I hated seeing her upset, even if it was over something as inevitable as the sun, so I looked away from her as I spoke, "Sadly, yes. Alice and I can't go to school today."
She then glared at the sunrays in her room. She muttered angrily, "Stupid sun."
Resisting the urge to smile at the turn in her thinking from when she first came to Forks, I noted, "I thought you liked the sun."
"I used to," she began as I tried to contemplate what she might say about how she turned against the sun, I figured it had something to do with me. And as she finished, she proved me right, "but now it is just an obstacle that keeps you away from me. The sun and I aren't speaking now."
As she finished she looked into my eyes with such annoyance at the sun that I could not help but laugh. Gaining some control over my laughter, I replied, "Bella, Bella, Bella. Have I ever told you how much I love you?"
She looked at me with a sly smile playing around the corner of her lips. "Once or twice." She allowed.
Clearly I had not told her enough. "Good. But maybe I should remind you more often…" I hinted as I moved closer and kissed her on the cheek, not wanting to get her heart rate up too high so early in the morning. I gave her just enough to put truth to my words.
I leaned back slightly, our faces still close, "Now, You really must go to school. We can't afford Charlie to think that I am corrupting you." Any more than he already does, I added in my head. Bella already knew how much Charlie didn't trust me, no need to bring up the unpleasant.
As I moved further away, she sighed as she began to accept the reality of my absence from her school day, "I hate it when you're right."
I chuckled quietly before giving her a proper kiss, as soon as I uncoiled her hands from my hair, I warned, "Now, don't do anything dangerous until we meet up at the usual." I advised her.
She rolled her eyes, clearly underestimating her magnetic field of danger, "Sure, sure; I'll try to meet you at the field in one piece."
I gave her one last look before climbing out the window and leaping to the ground with ease. I normally used the door but Charlie was still home this morning. I don't make enough noise for Charlie to hear me, but it makes Bella feel better when I leave this way.
Casting a look up at the window I had just leapt from, I could see Bella turning from the window and running her fingers through her hair, beginning her morning routine.
Smiling to myself, I turned from Chief Swan's house and began to run. Quieter than the wind I accelerated faster than any car built could. Running was second nature to me, it required no effort, no real thought, just simple silent movement. Within minutes I was running down the tree-lined path leading to the house. Coming to a neat stop right in front of the porch. As I gained my bearings I heard laughter from somewhere else in the yard.
Coming around the side of the house were Emmett and Jasper.
"There you are Edward!" Emmett called enthusiastically.
Jasper turned to look at Emmett with a mocking smile, "What do you mean 'there he is'? He always comes back about this time on days like this."
As he said this last bit he held his hand out into a patch of sunlight to show off his glittering hand.
Emmett hit Jasper in jest on the arm with the force that would send a human flying across the yard; Jasper merely was jostled.
"I just meant," Emmett clarified, "that he is finally here, so we can share the plan with him."
The moment before he said the word plan, I could see it all through his thoughts. But before I could comment on it, I was interrupted.
"What plan?" Rosalie's delicately beautiful voice called from the doorway.
Before the two who concocted it got a chance to answer, I used my new knowledge to do it for them, "Something about racing. You interested?"
Rosalie shrugged a perfect golden strand of hair over her shoulder lightly, "Seems to be an attractive offer, I'm game."
"Don't forget to count me in!" Alice's light airy voice called from behind me. And you better believe that you and I will race this time, Edward, She thought just for me.
I nodded with a sly grin.
"When do we want to do this?" Jasper questioned as he slid over from beside Emmett to stand next to Alice instead.
"Anytime you like," I answered, "as long as we get done in time."
They nodded in agreement.
I didn't have to elaborate. They didn't even have to have mind reading, they knew what I meant. It was a sunny day that was all they needed to guess what I was talking about.
"Sounds great." Emmett declared rubbing his hands together happily, "Where are we racing this time?"
"How about at the field?" Jasper suggested looking around to see if there were objections, That way no one will hear us if tackling gets involved… I heard him think before I tried blocking it again.
He definitely did not want to take any chances and I agreed with him, but I had to warn him, "Fine, but remember Bella will be meeting me there when school lets out. So we may end up with an audience."
Jasper nodded, remaining silent but inside he bitterly thought, Great, another challenge. Must he throw temptation into my every path?
I felt bad, for making him feel that way, but there was nothing I could do about it now.
"Should we tell Esme and Carlisle, or should we leave a note this time?" Rosalie asked of the group, shaking me from my reverie. Or should we risk angering the parents again and just leave? Of course I know what Emmett would pick…
"I say we just go." Emmett announced, living up to Rosalie's expectation.
Alice put on a fake scowl, and began playfully wagging a finger in his direction, "Now, Emmett. Whatever would Esme say?"
"What would I say about what?" Esme's honey voice called from the open door to the house.
None of us were surprised, we could all always hear each other's approaches, we all had known each other far too long.
Esme put her hands on her hips a very motherly manner as she surveyed us, waiting for an answer.
Jasper shrugged, Why not just tell her? He thought before saying aloud, "We were just planning some races."
"I see." Esme said as she relaxed her tone, "Just be careful you don't get too near humans. Where were you planning?"
I spoke this time, "We were thinking about the field. Would you and Carlisle want to join?"
I don't think so. And not Carlisle either. She thought but spoke aloud for her other 'children', "Sorry, but no. Carlisle has got some paperwork from the hospital he wanted to go over. And I don't feel much like racing today."
"That's too bad." Emmett commented with a wicked grin. But his thought leaked into my head, Ha ha. That means I can play dirty.
Esme's eyes narrowed, as if she caught onto his thought train, "But that doesn't mean that the same rules don't apply as when I am there."
Emmett swore under his breath, but Esme's razor sharp hearing caught it. "There will be none of that. Now behave; all of you."
Esme then took the opportunity to slip a thought to me, And please keep the others in line for me. I'm counting on you.
I nodded curtly to her, answering both thought and voice, "I will."
And with that settled, Esme nodded before turning around and reentering the house.
"Let's go then!" Alice suggested, bouncing up and down.
"Sure." Jasper agreed as he took her arm. With that the pair gracefully bounded off, forsaking all cars; we had no need for them where we were going.
Emmett did a mock bow to his wife-at-times, and extended his arm, "After you milady."
Rose just rolled her eyes, but still took his hand as the two took off.
Sighing deeply, wishing it was not a sunny day at all, I took off after them all.
Though I had left last, I arrived at the field first. Esme had always said I was the fastest.
As soon as we had all arrived at the huge clearing, we began deciding how to race.
"How shall we do this thing?" Jasper inquired of the group, "One-on-one or all together?"
"As fun as it sounds, we can't all race at once." Alice pointed out, "We'd need someone to judge."
This was the point where we all exchanged glances trying to decide who should sit out when I got an idea.
"We could always switch off, to compare different people to each other. And then do the one-on-one races." I suggested.
"Good idea!" Alice declared.
Emmett's brow was still furrowed, "That still doesn't tell us who will sit out first?"
And then the glance throwing began again, and just when all the thought suggestions almost became too much for me, Rosalie sighed exasperated and threw out her arms, "Well if no one else will be mature about it, I guess I'll go first."
Emmett was about to high five Jasper about getting to race before Rosalie got her last word out, "But I get to pick who judges after me."
And the look she gave her sometimes-husband left little doubt as to whom the next judge would be. Emmett's shoulders fell, "Fine, whatever."
And then the races began. Each set of four would race six times to avoid any accusing of cheating, before the judge would switch. After Emmett, who I am certain, was not entirely impartial, Jasper judged, followed by Alice and then me.
After I judged we started the one-on-ones. It was most entertaining. We raced for hours on end and never really tired, because as vampires, that idea was impossible.
It was now a race between Alice and Jasper. They had already raced 5 times this time around, but still it was fun.
Both stood at the farthest point of the field from me, I marked the finish line; Rosalie, who stood by them, the start; and Emmett who stood a little ways from me, the judge. This time I was making sure he was fair.
Though quite far, I could still see the three other perfectly. Alice chuckled.
"So you ready to race, or was that all talk?" she taunted, leaning closer to Jasper, a devilish grin on her face.
"Oh, I am ready, baby." Jasper agreed as he stretched into a starting position.
"Enough talk, now." I called, "You two ready to race?"
I heard their replies perfectly; they were all set for this race.
"All right," I called across the distance, "Then start!"
As soon as the words were spoken the pair began their speedy way to me. Alice was laughing, in the lead, a spirit on the winds, "Hey! I thought you said you were-" but she cut off.
She lost all speed entirely, her eyes becoming blank and distant.
As her thoughts entered mine, I called to Jasper, who was oblivious, "Jasper, stop! It's Alice!"
Then I began to see her vision as she had it herself.
I knew the setting perfectly, It was Forks High School on a sunny day like this one.
Bella was walking to her truck, her bag dropped from her clumsy hold on it. In an attempt to retrieve her dropped backpack, she reached down but ended up falling instead from a loss of balance, gaining small injuries. Then the entire focus of the vision shifted, an old silver car went out of control and began accelerating on the old, uneven blacktop. It was heading, unwaveringly straight, right towards Bella, helplessly sprawled on the ground, eyes wide in shock, mouth open in mute horror. Then the car hit its mark and Bella could no longer be seen.
"Nooooooooooo!!" I shouted, unable to control my outrage, my sadness, my anger.
How could this happen? This couldn't be happening! She was supposed to meet me herein minutes! Why didn't that car stop? Why didn't someone save her!
My mind seemed miles away but I could still vaguely hear what was happening where I still was in the field.
"What happened?" Jasper asked, steadying Alice.
Her eyes were wide, horror-stricken, "Bella."
The other two gathered closer now. "She was hit head-on by a car."
"Is she alive?" Emmett asked, concerned, all manner of jest vanished.
When Alice stayed silent I looked to the clairvoyant in our midst with the hope that maybe she had seen something I had not.
"Well is she?" I almost begged.
She stared numbly in my direction, and whispered, barely audible, even for us, "I don't know, Edward, I honestly don't know."
There, wasn't that interesting?
If you want to know more of what Edward thinks or reacts to this, please review!
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