16th January 2012
Blaine slowly climbed onto the rickety wooden stool, tensing his jaw to stop the tears from flowing. He knew this day would be his last and had dressed for the occasion: a Diesel Stuart long-sleeved shirt, salmon Tommy Bahama chinos and a bowtie. Fashion was the only thing that made him vaguely happy these days. That and singing.
He'd joined the Glee Club in his first week of school, about 2 years ago. He'd been dubious at first, thinking it was American and cheesy, but had eventually given in to the smiling faces and the urge to perform. The urge to actually excel at something, to make his father proud. He'd auditioned with Tom Jones' 'It's Not Unusual' and had received a standing ovation for it. It had been one of the happiest moments of his life, and there were to be few after that, though he didn't know that back then. In that moment he was so naively hopeful and had walked back to his dorm with a spring in his step, arm in arm with a beautiful blonde cheerleader. If only he had known, maybe he could've prepared himself for what was to follow. All he needed was a warning, which was one of the many things he would never receive.
He stood on top of the stool, gently tightening the rope around his neck. He knew the Men's Toilets weren't the best place for him to end his life, but being at a boarding school didn't give him much choice. He'd tried to resist coming to the McKinley High Boarding Houses in London, England as he knew how hard it would be to fit in given his sexuality, but of course his father dismissed it. Blaine hadn't expected any different. The only thing that had kept him sane up to this point was his brother Cooper living a 5 minute walk from the school. But his brother was a famous actor, and was needed for more important things than looking after his oversensitive younger brother. So Cooper had left for America yesterday, leaving his brother with a promise to return as soon as the musical had been filmed. Blaine had been left in a boarding house with 500 pupils in the middle of England's busiest city, having never felt so alone.
**Seconds, minutes, days, years. All had dragged by slowly, never offering any release or resolution. The feeling of his body slammed against lockers, of icy slushies and syrup stinging his eyes, of the echoing sound of laughter lead by cold blue eyes. No one cared. No one seemed to notice. "It gets better" sticky sweet voices intoned. Lies. All lies. It just kept getting worse. Soon Blaine had their taunting faces visiting him in his dreams, and then it became a reality. The pranks became deadly, leaving Blaine fearing his life. He quit sports classes so he didn't have to worry about hiding scars and would avoid the lunch room so he didn't have to make excuses for his lack of appetite. He became a ghost and no one noticed, not even his Glee Club companions. He was shy and this made it difficult for him to make friends immediately. But he'd been a member of the Glee Club for 2 years so had naturally grown close to a certain few. Quinn Fabray had seemed like a shallow cheerleader but comforted Blaine and would loyally clear the red dye number 2 out of his eyes. It also turned out they had a lot in common, and he'd spent a lot of his free time with her. But even she couldn't imagine the despair Blaine was going through. So it was the end, the end of only having one or two friends, failing his classes despite his intelligence, paying his roommates to not give the bullies their room keys. Make no mistake, Blaine Anderson was a fighter. He wasn't giving up. He was just giving in**
Blaine sighed and whispered a small prayer, despite his lack of religion. He rocked slowly on the chair, in time to the tune in his head.
The zombies in the park they're looking for my heart
A dark world aches for a splash of the sun.
Taking his last breath, Blaine revelled in the feeling of oxygen in his lungs and the quick beating of his heart in his chest. The quiet was overwhelming, and no one but the voices in his head were urging him to stop. So Blaine Anderson stepped off the rickety wooden stool and fell into oblivion and away from a place he no longer dreaded.