Chapter one: My Quiet Rage
Love was kind, for a time
Now just aches and it makes me blind
This mirror holds my eyes too bright
I can't see the others in my life
But do not ask the price I pay,
I must live with my quiet rage,
Tame the ghosts in my head,
That run wild and wish me dead.
China Sorrows had been lying low, something she detested, for the last few months. She had grieved for a time, (Her library, her collection, her life's work, all gone, taken, burning in the flames of Eliza Scorn's rage and her weakness, her sentimentality), before pulling herself together. She was China Sorrows, for goodness' sake. She didn't grieve, it wasn't in her nature, and besides that it did nothing for her complexion. Her Library was gone, and there was nothing she could do about that. She would take up a new hobby; something to fill the (achingly lonely) hours now that she was, yet again, alone.
She took a deep breath, and closed her pretty blue eyes. The sea wind whipped around her face as she swung her legs carelessly over the edge of the cliff, as she had done when she was a girl. She had retreated out of all society (Part of her attempt at lying low) and was currently staying at her childhood home. She had, of course, removed anything relating to the Faceless Ones years ago, so now it closely resembled her former apartment. This was a fact she tried not to think about. One of many.
Her collection wasn't the only thing she was missing. That urge, which had made her foolishly abandon her neutrality and join madcap adventures, promising companionship and...well, friendship, was now stronger than ever. That instinct, to leap without looking, was calling on her to break out of this empty house that contained so many memories (None of them enjoyable) and find the people she had betrayed, to try to reason with them and show them how she had changed, how she was still changing...
She rose sharply, and headed back towards the house. Still, these treacherous thoughts were better than the voice. It had started in her dreams. Find me, China, it said. Over and over, just those three words. Really, it was quite bothersome. And now it continued into her waking hours, sometimes just whispering on the edge of her consciousness, other times roaring, screaming inside her head.
FIND ME, CHINA! It hollered. Grimacing, she picked up a glass of water, and tapped a small sigil hidden behind her left ear; the ache in her skull dimmed, and she curled up in an impossibly stylish chair, wrapping her arm around her bent legs and resting her head on her knees. She sighed. If she didn't know any better, she would think that she was going mad.
Fortunately, she did know better. She had been mad before...this was nothing compared to that.
Find me, China.
China let out low, gentle moan as she buried herself deeper into the chair (Which, in addition to being elegant, beautiful, and many other desirable things, was also surprisingly comfortable. Decadently so, in fact).
Wonderful, now you're falling asleep on me. Am I really that boring?
China shot up with a start. The voice had never deviated from its single sentence before, and the words she had heard were as clear as if their speaker had been standing right next to her.
Of course I'm not. The voice continued. Of course I'm not boring. I'm me.
Chine strode to the window, and glanced out at her warning sigils. No; they were still intact; she was alone. So this person must be in her head. China would have been angry if she wasn't so infuriatingly interested. Damn her... (Friends, her only friends) former associates for infecting her with their particular brand of madness that made them unable to leave well enough ALONE.
There was only one option available to her. The voice in her head (And didn't that make her sound like she was a sane, well adjusted personality) had continued reassuring itself, with a casual, charming narcissism she had rarely encountered.
"Hello?" She said cautiously. "What are you doing in my head? Who are you?"
The voice broke off from its conversation with itself (I am clearly an extremely interesting person, and further more-)
You can hear me? YOU CAN HEAR ME?
"Obviously!" Chine snapped. "And could you please stop shouting?"
Alright.
"Now," She said, feeling calmed now she was no longer being mentally berated. "If you would answer my questions?"
I didn't mean to come into your head...it was an accident. And I'm me, of course. And you don't need to speak out loud. I can hear your thoughts too.
China didn't blush. She was a charming, sophisticated woman who would not be embarrassed by this person who had invaded her mind and her privacy-
Actually, you are embarrassed. And I thought I made it clear that this unfortunate turn of events was in no way shape or form my doing, hmm?
Be silent.
Fine. Be that way.
Thank you. Now-
All you had to do was ask.
As I was saying-
I mean, you don't have to be rude about it.
Please let me think?
Well, there might be occasions where you have to be rude, I suppose, but my point is-
I don't care what the point is! China mentally raged, as the voice finished, with what China could only describe as a mental glare, this is not one of them.
Anyway, China said. Why do you want me to find you?
The voice hesitated, like it was considering its words carefully.
I met you once. It finally said. A long time ago. You probably don't remember me, or the promise that you made.
I've made a lot of promises, to a lot of people. You can't expect me to remember all of them, child.
That doesn't matter. You might know my father though. Guess who he is?
The voice sounded upset now, and a curious mixture of sorrow, regret, love and pain was projected into China's mind. She decided that she didn't much like it. And she didn't much like the thoughts that she was having now, either.
That's impossible. She thought frantically. You died; Nefarian Serpine killed your whole family hundreds of years ago.
So you do remember me. I must admit, I was disappointed; most people find me extremely difficult to forget.
Iliana. China reluctantly thought. Iliana Rousseau. Serpine lied to us then. He lied to us all.
Well, it looks that way, doesn't it? You know, he was a bad, bad man. I doubt he was taught how lying is wrong by his parents. They were probably as evil as he is.
Why do you need me to find you, Iliana?
Iliana (It felt satisfying to not just be conversing with a nameless voice) paused for a moment, and when she next spoke in China's mind, her mental voice was full of pain.
Because he kept me locked away for hundreds of years. Because he died five years ago, and nobody's talked to me since. Because I'm alone, and I can't get out, and I want my Father again. I want to go home, China.
Tears ran down China's face. She didn't attempt to wipe them away.
Because you said you'd help me, when you and your friends took me and my mother. You promised you'd rescue us. Please help me now.
China stood again, and began to collect the few meagre things she needed for travelling.
Find me, China.
A/N - Okay, I'm not the author, but this is why this note is here; I am Jess. This is The One Named After A Hat's story, so... just to clarify :) Also, please review this one, because the author (whose nom de plume is too long to write) wants them, and I want them for her. Okay, thank you, guys :)