Beside You
Alicia Blade

February 14, 2006 ANs:

Happy Valentine's Day! I hope you enjoy this short little piece, set at the end of Takeuchi's manga. May contain spoilers.

Beside You

Sometimes I catch myself staring at her, analyzing every detail of her face that is already memorized in my heart. I think to myself what it's like to hold her hand, to squeeze her waist in my arms, or tickle the silky smooth skin over her stomach. It sends goose bumps up her skin and she giggles, a laugh I've realized only arises when I touch her pleasingly. I can feel her hair from remembrance, imagining every strand sliding through my fingers. I've done it so many times now, I don't need to touch it directly to sense it. I stare at her and can fantasize about her sitting on my lap, the pressure seemingly pressing down on my legs as her cold toes try to slide up under my pant leg for warmth.

She usually catches me staring at her like that. She always seems to look up right in the middle of my fantasy and I'm forced to smile and turn away. But not before she blushes.

I like to surprise her too. I say things completely off the top of my mind, simple phrases that I don't even need to think of, they just naturally come out. She loves them. I once told her that her belly button was so small. She giggled, turning red on her cheeks, and pulled her blouse down to cover the skin. I'll tell her what adorable ears she has, or what a slender neck or fingers. I'm often rewarded with a kiss or special little smile. I remember one time commenting on her extremely long black eyelashes. She stared at me a moment with a shy smile, before bending near me and placing her head on my shoulder, blinking quickly so that those extremely long eyelashes teased my neck in butterfly kisses. My lips were pressed to hers shortly after the taunts began.

She won't catch me staring at her now. She's sleeping. Like a princess, the perfect beauty, with a calm serenity that is rarely seen in her when she's awake.

We've been together for two years and she has been to my apartment a number of times, and I am just now realizing that I've never watched her sleep. She's never slept over here before. I always made it a point to have her home by nine, ten at the very latest. As much as she argued with me on it, I wanted her parents to have the best possible impression of me. They would see how well I treated their little girl, how much I respected her.

But last night, I wasn't going to let her go for the world.

The moment I saw her sitting at the edge of the cliff I made my decision that we would not be separated that night. It had been far too long, with so many hardships, battles, fights. . . . I'd hurt her so much. Everything, everyone had hurt her, even the ones that love her most, as much as I do, I don't doubt. But we were finally freed of Galaxia's spell, the scouts and I. I remembered my love the second that the confining bracelet broke. It had been terrifying though. Not remembering my love for her, the single most wonderful thing I've ever had in my life, and yet remembering everything I'd put her through.

It was as though I was waking from a long slumber, a torturous nightmare where I had been forced to sit back and watch this evil man betray the woman of my dreams, my one true love. I watched him stare at her with cold, emotionless eyes. I watched him strike at her with fists and words meant to shatter her, body and soul. I watched him break her heart and defenses and the last ounce of hope she had left. I watched him hover over her as she cried and bled. I watched him kiss another woman, one who hated my love down to her very core.

And I watched it all through his eyes.

I woke up in darkness. Suffocating black. I was floating somewhere, space pulling at my lungs. Maybe my eyes were closed and could not open. There was nothing there for me, no warmth, no hope, no light. Just the memory of her and me and everything I'd done. I dealt with the pain of my actions there, with no one to comfort me, and not being able to comfort my princess. I didn't know what was going on, who had won the battle, if both the princess and Galaxia were dead. I dared not think of that, but it hurt me to concentrate on her shocked looks when I had said and done all of those horrid things.

Then I was suddenly bathed in light and warmth, all things good and wonderful and bright. My feet were on solid ground again. Looking down, I saw I was dressed all in white, a crisp button down shirt and slacks, no shoes, and I could feel grass beneath my feet. My tuxedo and mask were gone and I could feel a surge of freedom emerge from the disappearance of their binding. From the corner of my eyes I could see the girls just waking up. The scouts were dressed in white too, their sailor suits gone, perhaps forever.

Then I looked up to be met with the most beautiful sight I can remember seeing. There she was, asleep as the mysterious sunrays soaked into her skin. Two strands of perfect gold-spun hair flowed down her sides. She was dressed like the other girls, in a short white satin gown. I was speechless, dormant as I watched her stir. Slowly, she awoke. She then surprised me with her energy, bolting upright, but she was turned away from the rest of us, facing out over the cliff and the green and rainbow world below.

I couldn't wait any longer and found myself walking toward her and placing the tips of my fingertips on her bare upper back, almost afraid to touch her. She froze before turning to me, and our fingers laced together and for the first time she saw all the other girls. Tears sprung to her eyes and I kissed her knuckles, wanting to take her into my arms and hold her for all eternity, but the scouts beat me to her and I watched happily as she hugged them all and shared happy and loving greetings.

Maybe that's when I made my decision that tonight would change everything in our lives.

Everything has changed us. I've changed, she's changed, our relationship has changed. I think all for the better. She stirs in her sleep and I trail a finger down her shoulder, before tugging the blanket up around her neck. The small smile on her lips widens with a sigh and she rolls over onto her side, facing me. I am content in staring at her sleeping features.

When we reached the city, she told me that she should go home and make sure her parents weren't worried, but we both knew she didn't want to. I only smiled and turned her down the street toward my apartment, holding her tucked beneath my arm. No one was taking her from me that night. I refused to share her.

I hovered close to her all the way home, both arms around her, one at her shoulders and the other tied about her waist. My lips never left her face or hair, always kissing or whispering into her ear. She listened contentedly to everything I said, a sweet smile upon the perfect lips. We were inseparable, as we would be the rest of our lives.

When finally we were home, my apartment, I took her by the hands and led her into the living room, letting the door close before wrapping her completely into my arms, pressed her against my body and tasting her lips for the first time since the nightmare ended. We stood there together, one in heart and soul, for hours. I felt like my life had been filled up completely, a painfully deep and freezing hole filled to the top with her very essence. Her life, her smile, her ongoing warmth and love and devotion. . . . I don't know if a million thoughts were running through my head, or none at all. Why she chose me? I haven't the slightest clue. But she was in my arms and we were together. I felt that at any moment I would overflow and burst from the sheer happiness I couldn't get enough of. One more kiss and I would surely be pushed over the edge. But I didn't let her go until she managed to mutter her need for a long warm bath. Reluctantly, I let her go.

I stood outside the bathroom for the full thirty minutes as she took her shower, listening to the water hit her body and the tile floor. My thoughts wandered over everything about her, everything that I loved, needed, would give anything to protect. I think I knew what I had to do then, what I wanted to do. My true desire and the only thing that could complete my life, make it any more perfect than it was. I don't know if I was content or nervous, but I knew I had to. That was it. Pure, raw duty to my own heart and emotions.

I almost can't stand watching her sleep any longer. She's so quiet and relaxed, it just doesn't seem right. All I seem to be able to think about is her smile and bright glowing eyes right now. I know I'll be able to become accustomed to her deep sleeping; I plan on waking up beside her many more times. Every morning for the rest of our long lives, in fact. But I can't think of the future just yet. I think I'll live in the present moment, and maybe a bit of the past.

Last night was the first time we'd made love. The first time we'd become one physically, no longer connected simply by heart and mind and soul. Everything was more incredible than I am sure either of us could have imagined. Every touch and kiss, every sensation more powerful than the last. It was as if we'd fallen into heaven together.

And now to wake up beside her with proof it wasn't a dream, it's more than I could ever ask for. Almost unbearably perfect. Not a trace of regret is in my thoughts, only unconditional love. I'm glad I waited to give my body to this perfect angel, and thrilled with the knowledge she bestowed her own innocence to me.

My heart is thumping wildly against my chest and I know I have to wake her or drive myself insane with the agony of not kissing those lips for a second longer.

I slowly lean forward, brushing my lips against hers, tenderly at first, but slowly deepening the kiss as I feel her wake up beneath me. A minute longer and her arms are around my neck, our tongues dancing together. Finally, I pull away, hovering over her and smiling down on still sleepy eyes. She sighs, collapsing into the single pillow we shared.

"Morning," I whisper. Her eyes glaze over in angelic delight.

"Morning, Mamo-chan," she whispers drowsily, rubbing her fingers over her eyelids. I watch her from my close position, not bothering to move even the slightest distance away. I wait patiently for another kiss as she yawns and stretches beneath my body, before finally meeting my intense stare. She blushes slightly. I'd always known she blushed easily, but it hadn't become so distinctively clear until last night. Still, I had learned that she wasn't as shy as I had once presumed her to be. Finally she whispers in a small, dainty voice, "It feels like I've been having a long, long dream."

"Oh? What kind of dream?" I reply, placing my elbow down on the mattress and smiling.

"I don't remember."

I laugh lightly, bending over to kiss the tip of her nose. Her eyes open wide and we look at each other for a moment, before I press my burning lips down on hers once again. Pulling away, I sit up on the bed, pulling on my boxers that had landed carelessly on the floor sometime last night.

"Mamo-chan . . .?"

"Hm?" I turn to her and see that she has sat up on the bed, the sheets wrapped around her body. I smile, turning to face her completely. "Yes, love?"

Her lips spread into a wide grin and she scoots toward me, placing two fingers onto my face, just in front of my ear. "Say those words one more time," she whispers pleadingly. I laugh, shaking my head in disbelief.

"I already said them fifty times last night, Usako."

"I know." She giggles, touching her forehead to mine. "But just once more!"

"Okay. One last time, but this is it." She nods ecstatically and I know it won't be the last time. Climbing onto my hands and knees, I crawl toward her, knocking her down on top of the bed until she is giggling beneath me. Our bodies press up against each other and I crane my neck to fill her up with one lingering, passionate kiss. It's some time before we break apart and I listen elatedly to her delighted giggle as I answer her one request.

"Marry me, Usa."

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