Anders laced his fingers behind his neck and leaned against one of Kirkwall's many towering walls. The sun was high and the air was humid. Normally he would complain about the heat and the resulting sweat that made the fur robes cling to his skin. Today he was more than happy to bask in it as long as he could. Soon, he would be submerged in the deep roads and so far from the shine and warmth of daylight.
He breathed in deep, never wanting to let go of the fresh air in his lungs, knowing he would soon breath only the stagnant air from deep below the earth. A feeling of dread welled up inside his chest. His heart and head began to throb. The intensity of Justice's thoughts mingling with his own was already a hardship. Anders wondered how much worse it would be when the voices of the darkspawn spread their tendrils into his mind too. Maker, why did he ever agree to this?
A distraction. That's what he needed.
He cracked one eye open and quickly used a hand to shade against the sun. Peering around, he spotted Varric tending to Bianca in the shade. The pleasant dwarf was gently polishing the wood on his crossbow and preparing the bolts. Anders wished he had a similar task that could bring him the serene that Bianca gave to Varric.
Not too far off to the right was Isabella, who had been accompanying Hawke when the strange band of misfits first found and recruited Anders down in darktown. Isabella was sprawled out beneath a tree and absentmindedly rubbing a gold coin between her thumb and forefinger. Fitting, Anders thought. He imagined that Isabella was thrilled to be going on an expedition that promised treasure and glory.
Scanning the courtyard some more, Anders only found more dwarves scurrying about in preparation for the expedition. Most of them seemed worn out and surly from being chastised by Bartrand all day. Justice spoke to Anders about his distrust for the fiery dwarf many times. Anders also had a bad feeling about Bartrand, but was not too concerned. Who would be with a woman like Hawke watching their back?
Upon further scanning, Anders could not find anymore of Vivien Hawke's team. It appeared that of Hawke's companions, only Anders, Isabella, Bethany, and Varric were to accompany for the deep roads expedition. Aveline was probably too busy with her guard duty and the training involved to take over as captain. Merrill volunteered to stay behind to keep an eye on Leandra while continuing to get accustomed to elven city life in lowtown. Anders was smugly relieved to see that Fenris was nowhere to be found. The mage hating elf rubbed Anders the wrong way when Hawke first recruited the lyrium scarred warrior. It still made Anders get pink in the cheeks, thinking about how Hawke defended the mages and stood up for him personally during Fenris's verbal assault.
Hawke was a sarcastic and cheery woman, but she sure had a soft spot for mages. It made Anders smile, thinking about how Hawke always laughed and cracked jokes, but immediately transformed into a mother bear the second anyone even looked at Bethany wrong. Anders had a lot of respect for the Amell-Hawke family. Especially for Vivien. She may not have been born a mage herself, but Vivien was the daughter of an apostate and had spent her whole life protecting an apostate sister. Of all the non-mages, Anders was sure that Vivien understood their plight well and was slowly becoming an advocate and protector among the oppressed magic users in Kirkwall.
Anders yawned and stretched his arms. He thought to himself that maybe being deep under ground wouldn't be too terrible with Hawke around. She sure had a nice little figure he could focus on when the deep roads became unbearably crushing. She was an attractive girl. Thin and graceful, with that perfect female plumpness in all the right places. If the deep roads became too cold, he surely wouldn't mind holding that body close to him in a tent.
He could hear Justice scoff at him for having such thoughts, and Anders quickly scolded himself. He couldn't think like that. Falling for Vivien was too dangerous and would only end in pain. Seeing her with a broken heart would crush him. And seeing her harmed by the templars for being involved with an apostate would send him into a rage he might never return from. It could be the turning point where Justice claimed everything he was.
Although, hadn't her entire life been involved with apostates? Would it be so different? This was a new thought that arose in Anders. He quickly pushed this thought aside in his mind to analyze later so he would not hear a lecture from Justice.
Anders closed his eyes and tried to think on happier subjects. Such as feeding scraps to the grateful cats in darktown and rubbing their bellies.
"Do you have everything in order? Do you have someone to look after your clinic?"
Anders jumped in surprise at the sound of Hawke's voice. Where had she come from? The eldest Hawke girl could slink so silently in the shadows.
"Andraste's flaming knickers! Keep sneaking up on me like that and you just might scare the Justice straight out of me!"
He was pleased to see this exclamation made Vivien expel her signature mischievous giggle.
Anders laughed too and answered: "Yes, everything is in order. A darktown refugee with a knack for health potions will suffice down there for now."
He noticed that Vivien was wearing a new and very flattering set of armor. The roguish leather hugged and accentuated her curves. She had removed the shoulder pads left the pale and soft skin of her arms free to absorb the sunlight. Her sleek, black, hair was down today, framing her face neatly in waves and gently brushing her bare shoulders.
Vivien kept herself very close to Anders as they talked. She seemed so comfortable being physically close to all her friends. Anders enjoyed the intimacy, but it made avoiding his feelings for Vivien maddeningly harder.
Vivien tilted her head against Anders shoulders and leaned into his side as they gazed at the busy scene in the courtyard. In a low voice, she said: "Anders, I know the deep roads are troubling you. I'm sure they are even more awful for a Grey Warden. I would like to have you with me down there, but I understand if you need to stay behind ..."
Surprised at her concern and the serious tone in her voice, Anders turned his head to glance down at Vivien. Her cheek was still pressed against his arm but her brilliant blue eyes were full of worry and gazing into his.
Anders was touched, and could not help but smile. "And leave you with all the riches and glory? Not a chance. Not to mention, I think you are in dire need of a Warden down there. These bumbling surface dwarves have lost their knack for the underground and will just get you lost!"
Hawke laughed and playfully pushed Anders. "I'm glad you'll be joining us! Besides, despite their reputation, I think the darkspawn will be a nice change from the Templars you and Bethany avoid everyday. At least they have the common courtesy to not discriminate against who they munch on".
Anders laughed and shook his head. There's the Hawke humor.
Vivien stepped away from the wall and peered around. "Well, it looks like everyone is ready to ..."
Hawke stopped talking and peered off into the distance, "Maker, what is it now!"
As Hawke huffed and marched off, Anders squinted in her direction to see what had bothered her. He could see Vivien approaching two human shapes. He used a quick pace to catch up and see what the fuss was about. As he got closer, Anders realized that Vivien and Bethany were in a rather heated argument with Leandra. When he was close enough to hear the conversation, Anders stopped and leaned on a shady tree. He wished to hear but not intrude.
"Mother, please! This is probably our last and only chance to get our family out of Gamlen's filthy excuse for a house," Bethany pleaded.
"I know," Leandra said tiredly, "But I don't understand why I have to risk BOTH of my remaining children!"
Vivien and Bethany both exchanged a melancholy glance.
"My Vivien, my darling, do what you must, but please leave Bethany out of this!" Leandra seemed on the verge of tears.
The eldest Hawke girl sighed and rubbed her temple. Anders watched her glance between the two faces. One belonging to a pleading mother, another belonging to a sister who wished to follow Vivien's lead anywhere.
Finally, Hawke threw her hands in the air and said, "Fine! Alright. I'll do all the heavy lifting and fortune earning myself!" Vivien winked at Bethany. By the look on Bethany's face, Anders could tell she was a little relieved to stay behind but at the same time unsure of leaving her sister's side with danger so near.
Leandra smiled solemnly and kissed Vivien on the forehead. As they watched their mother walk towards home, Bethany turned to embrace Hawke.
"Sister, be safe! I could care less if you come back with riches. I just want you back in one piece!"
Vivien laughed and kissed Bethany on the cheek. She told her sister not to worry, everyone would be back before she knew it. Her little sister jogged away to catch up with their mother. Before rounding a corner, Bethany looked back and waved goodbye.
Hawke smiled and waved back, but as soon as Bethany disappeared, her smile fell away. Her eyes seemed distracted and a little sad. Anders decided to draw away from the shadows and approach Hawke.
When Anders came near, Vivien startled and look towards him.
"I … uh … couldn't help but ..."
"Overhear." Fenris finished for him.
The sound of the elf's voice grated on Anders ears. Fenris stood on the other side of Hawke with his arms crossed and a great-sword gleaming on his back. Maybe it was ridiculous jealousy, but Anders always felt a little threatened when Fenris was near Vivien. Anders and Fenris were both guilty of admiring Vivien's body when they thought she wasn't looking. The two men had exchanged more than a few angry glares after catching each other watching her.
It didn't help that Vivien was a flirt. Anders was troubled, thinking about the times Vivien tried to be flirtatious with him in the darktown clinic. He made a point to express his interest back, but also for his sanity and her safety, tried to turn her interest away from him.
Flirtatious as she was, her passes always seemed to be just in jest with the group. Although, Anders could not help but feel that her interactions with him had more intimacy and emotion behind then, unlike her lighthearted teasing with everyone else. A confused part of him thought it best if she found someone else, but also did not want to drive her away into the arms of someone like Fenris.
He snapped away from his confused thoughts when Hawke spoke up.
"Fenris! I'm surprised to see you. I thought you would be spending your time off redecorating the mansion with expensive wine!"
Fenris smiled and said, "That was the plan. In truth, I saw your mother rushing from the Viscounts keep and in this direction. I assumed she was in a hurry to say goodbye to her daughters before their trip, but there was a fear in her eyes. I had to follow".
Anders arms were now crossed. He kept glaring, even as Fenris looked towards him.
Sharp as she was, Vivien seemed oblivious to the animosity between the two men.
"How dear of you," she said with a wink, "Not going to lie, we are so very short on time and everyone is anxious to get on with this venture. I truly hope you being here in armor and with your weapon means you've changed your mind about entering the roads with us. I've been left short-handed."
Fenris seemed to think for a minute, and then nodded. Vivien sighed with relief and linked one of her arms to Fenris and the other to Anders as she tugged them towards the lead of the procession. Varric was already standing at his brother's side when the neared the front. Vivien abandoned Anders and Fenris to stand near and chat with a restless Isabella. Fenris and Anders avoided looking at each other while the the group proceeded to the entrance of the deep roads.