Title: Under Fire

Author: Liquid Thalassa

E-mail: liquidthalassa@yahoo.com

Genre: Angst/General

Pairing: Cruz/ (Bosco?)

Spoilers: "Surrender" and previous episodes.

Author's Note: Here's another "one-shot" dealing with Sgt. Cruz and recent events. The text in italics are actual quotes from the episode "Surrender" (court scene), this fic deals with Cruz's thoughts during them. And according to my closed captioning Animal's defense attorney's name is Kaydar.

under fire:

1.Exposed or subjected to enemy attack.

2.Exposed or subjected to critical attack or censure

(Dictionary.com.)

Here's the Fic:

The witness seat was hard and slick with lacquer; she sat uncomfortably attempting to appear normal. She tried not to fidget. It was a sign of nervousness and Maritza Cruz didn't want them to know she was nervous. She certainly didn't want to give them that satisfaction. Not the bastard defense attorney and not The Animal.

He walked up to her- defense attorney Kaydar. He reminded Cruz of a "John" she put away once. A cocky, unattractive jackass with erectile-dysfunction. A real looser, couldn't even get it up for a hooker let alone his wife. Only Kaydar wasn't a "John". He was something far worse; he could prove far more damning with his questions.

"- your younger sister, Leticia?"

"Lettie. Right."

No one called her Leticia. No one. She was Lettie, always Lettie. This prick didn't have the right speaking her name. Maritza fought hard not to glare at him. She couldn't screw this up. She had to do this for her, she had to be strong.

"You were present at the scene. You witnessed her fatal injury?"

"I was there…" She paused. "She died in my arms."

"And you don't at all feel responsible for her death?"

She sat there, her eyes stone cold hoping the scope of her emotions didn't leak out. Asshole, what right did he had asking that. Of course she felt responsible. Lettie was her younger sister and Cruz hadn't been able to save even her. Oh sure, she could save the lives of ungrateful strangers and helpless victims- it was her job anyhow- but she couldn't save her. Not Lettie. She looked down a moment, trying so hard to suppress the tidal wave or sorrow, guilt and anger washing through her. She looked up and saw Bosco, far in the back corner watching with a flat look. Though in his eyes she could see concern, he silently gave her strength. She looked to Kaydar, and said, no.

"Have you ever been brought up on department charges? G.O 15, civilian complaints?"

Not only was he attacking the one thing she loved but he was attacking her honor as a police officer. She was a good cop, a damn good one. She got in and out, she got the job done. She wasn't always do now, ask questions later. No. That only happened after Lettie. Revenge is a vicious cycle, that isn't always so sweet. It was her fatal flaw, revenge. It was her salvation and her downfall. She looked at Bosco, and wished he would've known her before, seen her before she became what she was now- the She-bitch from Hell. But now wasn't a time for what it's and should haves. That could be mulled over later.

"All of the above."

"Eight years of service in fact and you've been reprimanded 5 times for insubordination…have you ever been accused of being careless, Sergeant?"

Careless no. Hasty yes. Hotheaded sure. Bitchy, of course. Along with a sting of others…Cold. Curt. Efficient. Strong….but careless, no. She was never careless no matter what those assholes thought.

"No."

Kaydar walked over to the defense's table and looked at some papers. "I have some quotes from various superiors…Reckless. Risk taking…Are you reckless?"

"No."

"Do you believe in getting the bad guy no matter who gets in the way? No matter who gets hurt?"

Of course she wanted to get the bad guy that was the whole purpose of being a police officer. It was what she did. And it depended who was in the way…a skell? Another Cop? Her sister? Everything wasn't back and white. Police work- like life- had shades of grey. She should know she lived in that undefined land far too long. And she did care who got hurt in the process, despite what others thought. But would she cry and wallow in the fact that in the process of getting a criminal, another Skell died? No. They chose to live that way. She didn't make that choice for them Bosco was still there, she didn't look up but she could feel him. After their time together she acquired a 6th sense with him. Something that has never happened before.

"No."

"Didn't you tell your sister to run into that house-"

That was it. She was pissed. Bosco, from the distance could see the fire in her eyes.

"I would never tell my sister-"

"-So you could get a Gold Star, isn't that how you do your job?"

Unwisely Cruz let her emotions get to her, her eyes dancing with anger, her worlds covered in bitchiness. "The chances I take are on me. They're on mo one else!"

Dios, she wanted to get out of there. Leave and never look back.

"So you don't give a damn if you get hurt?"

Memories of her the night before flooded her mind. She still felt dirty, ashamed, weak. As if relieving the night she felt her breath weaken and her throat tighten, her heart began to pound. A wave of sheer panic and sickness overcame her. She was so lucky that at this time she could conceal it, but not for long she knew.

"I give a damn if I get hurt. I give a damn!"

She had to get out of there. She had to leave that courtroom. She was suffocating, drowning. Walking out the large doors she spotted Bosco who must have slipped out and Monroe. She couldn't deal with them. Not now. She fixed on a distant stare and walked by.

"Hey, Cruz." Monroe called. "How'd it go?"

She walked on, fighting the urge to run. Tears started to spill down her eyes. She wiped them away quickly. She had to get out of here. She had to breathe.

A/N: I'm not sure if I'm going to make another part or not. I wrote this right after the "surrender" episode and never got around to finishing it and stuff. But since I'm starting to work on "Shattered" I decided to finish this one too. Let me know what you think.