This story is the spawn of a conversation I had one night with a friend of mine. I don't know how it happened, but I just started spouting off all these crazy ideas. Anyway, many different series will be mentioned in this one, so I don't know which section it should be in, although it's mostly rooted in Azumanga land (for now, at least). Keep in mind that I am writing this entirely for the lulz and that this story is not meant to copy anyone else's or bash any specific people. There will probably be some OOCness, but I'll try to keep everyone in character as best I can.
As always, I do not own Azumanga Daioh or any of the series that will make an appearance.
It was an impossible and rather frightening sight, but that would be an understatement. One minute, Sakaki looked like her regular self, poker face and all. The next minute, she was sparkling in the sunlight like a misplaced disco ball. Yukari stopped in the middle of her lecture to stare just as everyone else did.
Sakaki stood and sniffed the air; everyone was silent. Then, rather casually she said, "Someone's blood. . .it smells too sweet for me to resist."
At this, the entire class bolted out of the room, save for Yukari, Tomo, Yomi, Osaka, Chiyo, Kagura, and of course Sakaki. Either they were stupid, fearless, or a combination of the two. Sakaki stood still, however, despite her disturbing statement. Slowly, the other five approached her.
"Sakaki-san, are you sick?" asked Chiyo.
"She looks like she bathed in glitter," said Kagura.
"She looks ridiculous!" said Tomo, grabbing her stomach in a fit of uncontrollable laughter.
"Wow," said Osaka, wide-eyed and smiling, "Sakaki's become the Queen of the Crafts, being all glittery and shiny like that! It's like watching fireworks only better 'cause there aren't any loud noises and you can go in the day time."
Yomi took her glasses off, rubbed the lenses, and put them back on again in disbelief. "So she really is sparkling. How strange."
Yukari stared at Sakaki and said nothing. Then, she and the others watched as Sakaki's eyes faded from black to amber.
"Is Sakaki evolving?" asked Tomo.
"Idiot," said Yomi, hitting Tomo on the head. "She's not a Pokemon."
"Actually, that wouldn't be a completely out of place explanation," said Yukari with a serious look on her face. "I'm going to get Nyamo. Don't go anywhere."
The others watched Yukari leave and then gave each other confused looks. Did she actually have an idea about what was happening?
"Sakaki, if you become a Pokemon can I be your trainer?" asked Tomo.
"I don't think she's turning into a Pokemon," said Kagura. Besides, you would be the last person any Pokemon would want for a trainer.
"Agreed, Kagura. Tomo wouldn't be a good trainer," said Sakaki, staring straight ahead.
Kagura jumped. "How did you know I thought that?" she demanded.
"I can hear all of your thoughts," said Sakaki. ". . .I need blood. Perhaps I'll go find that gray cat who's always biting me. . ." Sakaki began to walk toward the window; Kagura and Tomo quickly grabbed her arms and pulled her back.
"But Sakaki-san, you love animals!" cried Chiyo. "You would never hurt one."
The classroom door slid open with a loud bang and in came Yukari with Nyamo in toe, holding a small, fancy-looking device in her hand.
"It looks like we caught this just in time," she said as she moved the device up and down in front of Sakaki, allowing it to scan her.
"Nyamo, what's that fancy-looking device in your hand called?" asked Osaka.
"That's exactly what it's called. Fancy-Looking Device Scanner, or FLD Scanner for short," said Nyamo.
"That's not a very creative name," said Yomi.
"Well, it could also stand for Fandomitis Liberation Detection Scanner, but I don't think you're ready to hear about that quite yet. Anyway, naming the technology that saves the world is much less important than using that technology to save it, don't you think?"
Yomi blinked and nodded slowly, though she had no idea what was going on.
The FLD Scanner beeped and Nyamo carefully studied the results. "It's as you suspected, Yukari. Sakaki has been infected by Rabid Fandomitis. It looks like this is coming from the Twilight world, which isn't surprising considering that world has gained a lot of notice in the past couple years."
"Do you think another invasion is beginning?" asked Yukari.
"It's already started," said Nyamo.
"Wait, so Sakaki is diseased and the world is being taken over? What's going on?" asked Kagura.
Nyamo took a deep breath. "Have you girls heard of a phenomena called Crossover?"
They all gave her blank stares.
"I didn't think so. After all, the last time Crossover happened was when Yukari and I were in college. All we know about Crossover is that some unknown force causes other worlds to collide with ours. People become infected by a condition called Rabid Fandomitis that starts to turn them into people or creatures from the invading world. If Rabid Fandomitis infects enough people, the other world invades ours completely and then both worlds are stuck together forever. At least, that's what we think will happen and that seems to be the goal of our unknown enemy."
Osaka was the first to respond. She seemed to accept all of this information as though it were normal, every day stuff. "So there's gotta be a way to stop the aliens, right? There's always a way to stop the aliens."
"Our only hope is Captain Daioh. He is the guardian weapon sent to protect this world from Crossover and cure it of Rabid Fandomitis."
The girls still stared at her in disbelief.
"Maybe I should show you what happened the last time Crossover threatened our world," Nyamo smiled sheepishly. "But first, we need to make sure Sakaki doesn't escape."
Tomo rushed out of the room and came back a minute later holding a long rope.
"How did you get that so fast?" asked Yomi.
"The utility closet. I hide all kinds of useful things in there."
"You hide things?"
"Yes. I was originally going to use this rope to hang Chiyo-chan off the roof and then rescue her so that we both would be in the newspaper, but that'll have to wait until later."
Yomi looked over at Chiyo, who was trembling in fear. Then, she looked at Tomo again and mumbled, "Idiot."
Sakaki allowed her friends to tie her to a chair without putting up a fight. Once she was settled, Nyamo pushed a button on the FLD Scanner and the device expanded itself into a large screen that looked much like a T.V. She pressed a few more buttons and then propped the screen up on a desk against some books. Once everyone was seated in front of it, she pushed "play."
There you have it, folks! I hope someone out there laughed. Comments are nice, but no flames please.
-LadyRushia