Ianto remembered it all. Of course, why wouldn't he? He knew everything. However, there was that niggly feeling right at the back of his mind. That feeling that there was something he'd forgotten about the events of the past few days. He hadn't discussed the memories with anyone else. After all, Jack wouldn't have retconned them all without a good reason.
Why hadn't that stupid pill worked properly? It wasn't like Ianto didn't want to forget what happened. The things that had been said burned Ianto's brain like a hot poker. Searing through other memories, happy memories and tainting them.
Ianto just wished he could find out the meaning behind all the secret looks, the hints, the outright confessions. What was Gwen thinking? They all knew Jack and Ianto were together. Well, they at least knew that Ianto was, as Owen put it, Jack's part-time shag. Gwen must have had an idea of how much what she said would have hurt Ianto. Especially when a look had passed between her and Jack that somehow seemed significant.
It was Rhys that Ianto felt sorry for. He didn't have a clue poor bloke. While Rhys had no doubt been planning his proposal to her, Gwen had been shagging Owen. Then, when she finally decides to give that up and settle for Rhys, she's confessing her undying love for Jack. Considering she was supposed to be madly and hopelessly in love with Rhys, Gwen sure had a funny way of showing it.
Ianto had never truly hated anyone in his whole life, but he did now. He hated Gwen, loathed her existence and the pain she brought down on everyone else. It wasn't that she had hurt him, Ianto was too used to the pain to care, it was that she dared to hurt people that Ianto cared about.
Ianto had met Rhys, he was a nice guy, one of the most genuine people you would ever meet. How could Gwen just flounce around like the slut she was, making excuses while he sat at home and waited loyally for her. How could she?
Ianto decided that seeing as he had started he might as well go on making a list of all the people that Gwen had caused pain to.
Tosh was next, Ianto had seen the look on her face when she had found out about Owen and Gwen, the slutty bitch. Tosh was the sweetest person on the planet. Never seemed to give a shit about herself. Ianto was the only one who knew how much she covered up her real feelings about pretty much everything. Why would Gwen shag Owen when she knew how much Tosh cared for him? What gave her the right to have Rhys and Owen when Tosh had nobody? Ianto clenched his fist at the thought and imagined that fist punching Gwen's smug, doe eyed face.
Next was Owen himself. After Gwen had had her fill of him, she dropped him like a rock. Ianto did care for Owen. Sure they weren't as close as he and Tosh, but the two had a kind of mutual respect for each other that they each knew about although no one else would ever notice. From what Ianto had heard, even though it was Owen who'd suggested their little affair, in the end it'd been Gwen who initiated it. Once again, Gwen the slut making bad decisions and ruining lives.
The final person on the list (Ianto didn't bother to include the numerous amount of times Gwen had called him pain) was Jack. Gwen definitely knew about the pain she had caused him. Ianto wondered if the sole reason she went through with her engagement to Rhys was to spite Jack should he ever return. Ianto knew that Jack had feelings for Gwen. He wouldn't go so far to say that he loved her, but there was definitely something. Ianto couldn't forget the words that she had spoken, now branded into the backs of his eyelids. "but not in the way I love you". Those were the words she had said to Jack, after everything she had done to hurt Rhys through Owen and Owen and Tosh because of that, she had to hurt Jack and I by saying those words. It was wrong.
Ianto shook his head and took a deep breath, trying to contain the pain and anger he felt every time he looked at Gwen. He didn't know how long he had been standing there brooding, but it was time to put the mask back up and get on with his work. He picked up the coffee mug that stood before him on the bench and place it under the machine. He pressed the button and waited for the frothy cappuccino liquid to spill out. Ianto leant against the bench behind him. It wasn't fair, he hated Gwen and she didn't even know why. Then Ianto realised he was focusing far too much on those words, the ones that he could never forget. Everything he had just listed had happened before those two days that nobody could remember, he had perfectly good reasons to hate Gwen. Nothing was going to change his feelings towards her anyway, whether she could link the feelings with events or not.
Ianto sighed, still brooding and carried the coffee over to Tosh. She smiled at him briefly as he placed it on her desk before feverishly resuming her typing. She worked too hard, thought Ianto. He knew that her reasons for this were probably much the same as his. If they worked, they could forget all the shit that was going on around them, Gwen being at the centre of that shit.
"Ianto love you couldn't do us a coffee could you?" said a familiar female welsh voice.
"Sure Gwen no problem," replied Ianto, all smiles and went off to make Gwen a decaf.
I know this is a bit rubbish :/ sorry I needed to write and couldn't come up with anything better. Reviews are much appreciated especially concrit which is much needed.