Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh or any of the characters.
Warning: Implied boy x boy, don't like then please don't read. Some foul language but not much.
Songfic: "Lies" by Marina & the Diamonds
Don't have to review, but I love receiving them to see what everyone thinks of my fics, whether it be compliments or complaints. It also helps to encourage me to continue writing.
Lies
Everything was perfect...at first. Jounouchi couldn't believe his luck on that wonderful sunny day when he gathered up every ounce of courage he possessed to walk up to Seto Kaiba and profess to the crush he'd been harboring for the CEO since their early years at Domino High. Who could have known that between the fights and insults they flung at each other every chance they got, that feelings quite the opposite of hate would build inside the blond?
Jounouchi couldn't blame the look of shock that momentarily filled those normally stoic blue eyes, but Kaiba had quickly regained control over himself and just smirked at Jounouchi as he had calmly asked, "What of it, mutt?"
"What I'm asking is if you'd go out with me, ya jerk?!" Jounouchi yelled, brown eyes filled with a fiery determination even as his cheeks tinted pink from embarrassment. Jou figured he didn't have much to lose, it was a few days before graduation after all, so if he was rejected then he wouldn't have to see Kaiba's face and deal with the ridicule every day at school. Despite telling himself this, the blond still had to fight to keep his gaze on Kaiba and not stare at the ground as he awaited his inevitable cold rejection; and he had to keep his hands fisted against his jeans to keep them still from the slight tremor that went through them once his nerves were frayed.
Kaiba remained silent for awhile as he gathered his own thoughts and took in Jounouchi's appearance. Despite that brave exterior, he easily took notice of the blush gracing the other's cheeks and the slight tremor of his body. The blond was extremely nervous as he stood there waiting for his answer. This rather intrigued the young CEO. Kaiba had always enjoyed the power he held over this mutt, he could control him in a way that made him eventually come to consider Jounouchi as His mutt and that he was the pets' master. If they were to date, Kaiba could see just how he could make Jounouchi react in other, more intimate, circumstances. How often could he make Jou's face turn red not with anger, but with pleasure or embarrassment? It was a game he was interested in playing.
"Alright, Jounouchi, I will," Kaiba finally answered, smirking at the wide eyed expression of shock that showed in those honey brown orbs.
This time when the two rivals came face to face, it wasn't to yell or insult each other. No, this time, their lips met in a warm embrace as their new relationship began.
"You're never gonna love me, so what's the use?
What's the point in playing a game you're gonna lose?
What's the point in saying you love me like a friend?
What's the point in saying it's never gonna end?"
A couple months into their relationship and things already had begun to turn sour. It was Jounouchi's birthday and Kaiba had been trying all day to get a hold of his stupid mutt. Why wasn't he answering his cellphone? Later that night, Kaiba decided to pay Jounouchi a visit at his house to see if maybe that's where he was. Getting out of the limo that parked close by that shabby, run-down apartment complex where he'd learned that Jou and his father lived at, he walked up the steps to the floor where his boyfriend's apartment was on. But as he turned the corner, Kaiba stopped cold in his tracks at the sight that played out before him.
Kaiba watched as Jounouchi was pushed up against his closed door to be kissed passionately by his best friend, Honda. Was this the reason why he hadn't been answering his calls? He was ignoring him to fuck around with this monkey? Two things Seto Kaiba could not tolerate was being ignored and being betrayed, especially when he had been slowly starting to feel more for this blond then he cared to admit.
Consumed with rage and jealousy, Kaiba reacted before he had time to think about his actions. Storming over to the two love birds, he grabbed the back of Honda's jacket and yanked him away from Jounouchi while a second later his fist connected with the smaller brunet's stomach. Releasing Honda's shirt, Kaiba watched with grim satisfaction as he dropped like a stone while clutching his gut in pain.
Jounouchi stared in shock as he went from staring at his best friend, wheezing to catch his breath as he clutched at his stomach, to his lover who had never raised a hand in violence against anyone. That he was aware of. He met that cold glare that he hadn't seen in Seto's eyes since back when they were enemies and he felt his heart sink. But before he could open his mouth to get a word out, Kaiba had already turned on his heel and was striding angrily back down the steps to his waiting limo.
"Seto, wait!" Jounouchi cried out in panic as he chased after the brunet. "Please, let me explain, that wasn't what it looked like. Honda just suddenly started kissing me outta nowhere and my body froze up in shock!" Jounouchi quickly explained as he ran after Kaiba, reaching out and catching his hand just as they reached the dark limo.
Kaiba quickly yanked his hand out of Jounouchi's grip as he whirled around to face the one who betrayed him. "I'm done, mutt. This game is over, I'm not in the habit of continuing to play a game where I know I'm not going to come out the winner."
Jounouchi's brows furrowed down in confusion. "What the hell are you talking about? Love's not a game, Kaiba, and if yer talkin' about what happened back there... Nothing happened, I swear it. You're the one I want, Seto. Don't you trust me yet?"
"Then why did you ignore me all day when I've been trying to reach you?" Kaiba demanded angrily, tone sharp enough to make the blond flinch back slightly.
"I was mad at you. I came in this morning asking you to spend time with me and ya just blew me off for work again. When I asked you if you knew what today was, you didn't remember it was my birthday. I was so mad, I didn't want to speak to you for awhile. I swear I was just planning on calling you when I got home...but then That happened," Jounouchi explained, looking up at Kaiba with earnest eyes.
"Yeah, That happened," Kaiba said and turned his back on Jounouchi again. "Bye, mutt."
"I was just about to push him away, Kaiba! Don't turn away from me, I won't let us end like this when it's just a simple misunderstanding! I love you, Seto," Jounouchi admitted in a desperate voice as he reached out again and clung to the brunet's sleeve.
"As a friend, right? Just get out of my face, you ignorant mongrel," Kaiba snapped, yanking himself free once more and got into his ride before Jounouchi could get another word in.
Jounouchi watched with a pained expression as the black limo took off, standing there numb as he watched it quickly vanish into the distance. 'This is never gonna end, is it?'
"You're too proud to say that you've made a mistake
You're a coward to the end
I don't wanna admit that we're not gonna fit
No, I'm not the type that you like
Why don't we just pretend?"
"Dammit, Kaiba! You know that you just made a mistake by jumping to conclusions about what you saw that night, you're just too proud to admit it! Coward! I've done nothing wrong...Kaiba, please call me back," Jounouchi lowered the cellphone from his ear as he ended the call and stared down at the blank screen with a pained look in his eyes. It had been an entire week since Seto had told him goodbye and he still hadn't heard a single word from the stubborn brunet.
"I'm so sorry, Jou. I-I didn't mean to screw up your relationship with Kaiba, I don't know what I was thinking that night, I think I had too much to drink," Honda apologized for the hundredth time even though his best friend hadn't scolded him even once for his actions. He felt horrible every time he saw that sadness reflecting in the eyes of, who was supposed to remain, his secret crush. "Would you like me to go tell that jackass personally that there's nothing special going on between us? That we're just best friends and nothing more?"
Jounouchi looked over at Honda and forced a smile with a sad shake of his head. "Nah, thanks anyways though. He's too pig headed, it probably wouldn't make a difference. I think I'm gonna go for a walk to clear my head. I'll be back later, Hon," the blond replied, then left after Honda gave him a nod of approval.
Walking down the darkened streets with his hands buried in his pants pockets and head down as he stared down at the sidewalk in concentration, Jounouchi let his mind wonder to the thoughts that scared him the most. The truth he really didn't want to admit to himself, let alone out loud to others, was that he and Seto Kaiba didn't fit. People say that opposites attract but there was such a thing as Too opposite. Polar opposites who did nothing but clash and butt heads all the time. Those were the types who would never get along. Not to mention that he just wasn't Kaiba's type. No, he was quite the opposite. If years of being called a "lowly street mutt" by the cold CEO wasn't any indication.
Releasing a long sigh, breath fogging from the winter air, Jounouchi finally glanced up from the sidewalk to realize that he'd inadvertently walked all the way to Seto Kaiba's house. After a moment of just standing there, staring wistfully at the front door, Jounouchi forced himself to spin around and start walking off the other way. Though he only managed a few steps before he came to a halt again, squeezing his eyes tightly shut as two entirely different impulses raged war inside of him.
"Ah, screw it," Jounouchi cursed as his shoulders sagged, opening his eyes again as he turned back around and walked up to Kaiba's front door. 'Please don't shut me out again, Seto,' Jou thought as he reached out and rang the door bell.
A few seconds later, Seto Kaiba answered the door with an unreadable expression on his face as he regarded the blond before him. Whether it was the sad, hopeful look in those honey brown orbs or the slight tremble, most likely resulting from the cold winter air, he stepped back and wordlessly motioned for Jounouchi to come inside.
"I've missed you Seto, I'm so sorry about before, Honda's just a fr-" Jounouchi began to quickly ramble once he was inside the brunet's warm home, turning to face him to be cut off by a finger pressed to his lips.
"Lies, don't wanna know, don't wanna know oh
I can't let you go, can't let you go oh
I just want it to be perfect
To believe it's all been worth the fight
Lies, don't wanna know, don't wanna know oh"
"I don't want to know," Kaiba murmured as he stared down at Jounouchi, slowly closing the distance between them.
"Can we pretend that kiss with Honda never happened?" Jounouchi quickly whispered, lips brushing softly against Seto's finger with each word. This close to the object of his affections he could smell alcohol on his breath, but at this point in time he didn't care. He was too mesmerized by the passion that was smoldering in those ocean depths.
"Whatever," Kaiba murmured vaguely before claiming Jounouchi's lips in a searing kiss. Cupping Jounouchi's face, he tilted the blond's head back slightly so he could get a better angle to deepen the kiss. Dammit, he had really missed his puppy and the alcohol he'd been consuming just a little while ago to help him cope with his feelings of loneliness was now making him feel frisky. It wasn't long before the two stumbled back into Kaiba's bedroom to make up for lost time.
The next morning, Kaiba was the first to wake. Laying on his back, he looked down to see a mop of messy blond hair as Jounouchi peacefully slept at his side with his head resting on Kaiba's chest. Letting out a small sigh of contentment, Kaiba began to lightly stroke the blond's hair, relieved when Jounouchi stirred but didn't awaken. He would never admit this out loud, but he terribly missed his puppy. The brunet CEO wasn't stupid, he knew he had major trust issues and he could even acknowledge the source of said issues, but he really did want to lower his shields and trust Jounouchi. Even though he made a mistake, he couldn't bring himself to admit it and apologize. Kaiba's pride was a part of his weakness as well...or maybe he was just a coward like Jounouchi claimed. Though he'd much rather die than admit to that.
Another quirk of Kaiba's was that he hated to let anything go that he'd already invested a lot of time in, and he considered the years of attention and arguments he'd spent on the blond to be an investment. To lose Jou would be like having wasted all that time throughout the years. No, that wasn't the major reason he wanted to stay with Jounouchi, but it was an embarrassing amount of that reason. Despite all the hardships they've overcome together, he wanted it to be all worth the fight. Truth was, Kaiba felt like Jounouchi was the other half of his sun. Together with his younger brother, they brought light to his otherwise gray life. He couldn't let Jou go. They were so opposite of eachother, but he wanted their relationship to be perfect. Was that so much to ask for?
"You only ever touch me in the dark
Only if we're drinking can you see my spark
And only in the evening could you give yourself to me
Cause the night is your woman, and she'll set you free"
Since the day when the two reunited as a couple, Jounouchi's noticed that his lover was consuming a lot more alcohol then he used to. Actually, he couldn't remember the brunet ever drinking before their first falling out. Kaiba struck him as the type who liked to have his wits about him at all times, where-as alcohol dulled the senses. It just wasn't like him. Another disconcerting trend Jounouchi noticed was that Kaiba seemed to make significantly less time for him. If he was lucky, they'd meet twice a week, mostly on weekend evenings. Always the evenings, never in the early afternoon and never at night.
What pained Jounouchi the most was when they made love. Kaiba was always intoxicated and he'd always turn off the lights. Why? Could he not stand the sight of him anymore? Did Seto like to make love in the dark so he could pretend he was with someone other then this lowly mutt? Whatever the reason, it pained the blond. He felt like he was drowning. Still, Jounouchi kept quiet for the time being.
A couple more weeks passed by and still nothing changed. If anything, thing's were getting worse. Now Kaiba drank around him and he found himself joining in with the brunet. Jounouchi couldn't stand alcohol, seeing Kaiba getting wasted always made him think of his drunken father. He absolutely hated the way alcohol changed people, the way it dulled one's senses and made people act stupid. He hated the aftermath, the migraines and the nausea. Most of all, Jounouchi hated the deep rooted feeling of guilt and fear that if he also kept turning to alcohol to drown his sorrows...he'd turn into his father.
"I can't keep doin' this," Jounouchi croaked out one morning after another drunken tryst. One of the extremely rare times that they'd both passed out for the entire night so Kaiba hadn't had to kick his ass out to "get some work done" for the next night. Jou couldn't even remember the last time when he'd awoken in bed next to his lover in the light of day.
"Can't keep doing what?" the brunet mumbled next to him, his head still partly buried against his pillow to block out the sunlight that was threatening to make his headache worse. He had recently woken up and had a bad hangover, Kaiba wasn't in the mood for this conversation shit, but he supposed he owed his puppy at least this much.
"This. Whatever this is between us, Kaiba. For some reason you have to be drunk to spend time with me. You have to be drunk and unable to see me properly to make love to me. I hate alcohol with every fiber of my being. I hate seeing you drink and even more, I hate that I've also started drinkin.' I can't do this. If you truly love me, Seto...then please stop drinking?" Jounouchi ended his explanation with a hopeful question, turning pleading puppy dog eyes to the brunet.
Kaiba raised his head up from the pillow and gave Jounouchi an incredulous look. "You're seriously asking me to choose you or the alcohol? Heh, you're pathetic, Jounouchi. It's not that big of a deal. I don't even drink all of the time."
"No, just when you know you're going to be seeing your disgusting, lowly boyfriend, right? I don't know why you even bothered to accept me back when you clearly don't love me. I'll make things easy for ya, Moneybags," Jounouchi snapped and, with that, he slipped out of bed to get dressed as fast as his hangover would allow him to.
"What do you mean?" Kaiba demanded as he sat up and watched the angered blond dress.
"I'm removing the reason for your drinking habits, Kaiba. I'm removing myself from your life," Jounouchi declared with such finality it made cold fear grip Kaiba's heart.
"You're leaving me just because of the alcohol?" Kaiba questioned in disbelief as he quickly got out of bed and followed Jounouchi down the stairs and to his front door.
"Reflect on all the other things I've already said, Kaiba. It's not just about the fucking alcohol. I love you, Seto Kaiba. Goodbye...again," Jounouchi whispered, pausing briefly with his hand on the doorknob before he opened the door and left without looking back even once.
"You're too proud to say that you've made a mistake
You're a coward to the end
I don't wanna admit that we're not gonna fit
No, I'm not the type that you like
Why don't we just pretend?"
Days later, Kaiba sat in his office chair at KaibaCorp, fingers drumming lightly on the elegant oak desk before him as he gazed absently out the window. He hadn't been able to get much work done in the past couple of hours, his mind kept drifting back to Jounouchi. His puppy had been right on a few accounts. For reasons he hadn't really reflected on, Kaiba had to get drunk whenever he knew he was to spend time with the blond. The reason was most likely due to the fact that he was falling so hard for Jounouchi. These emotions were so foreign to him, so different from the love he had for Mokuba, his only living family member. These emotions frightened him and as time passed, as much as he didn't want to admit this, he'd begun to fear that maybe they weren't a perfect fit. That maybe he wasn't the type Jounouchi could like, let alone love. So maybe, just maybe, he had begun to subconsciously push the blond away before he himself got burned.
For that reason, he'd hurt his pup. He'd witnessed that hurt when he watched Jou walk away from him, the way he wouldn't even look back at him one last time. Despite all the hardships they've already faced since becoming a couple, Kaiba wasn't done pretending. He wasn't ready to say goodbye. Jounouchi had been a coward to just leave without giving him a chance and he knew the blond well enough to know that now it would be His pride to get in the way. This time, Kaiba would have to be the one to put forth the effort in getting back together. But first thing's first...he'd make sure to get rid of his drinking problem.
"Lies, don't wanna know, don't wanna know oh
I can't let you go, can't let you go oh
I just want it to be perfect
To believe it's all been worth the fight
Lies, don't wanna know, don't wanna know oh"
Yet another couple of weeks later, Jounouchi was shocked to see Seto Kaiba standing on his doorstep, standing there in all his beautiful glory. He hated that this cold-hearted CEO was as breath-taking as always. Chestnut brunet hair still meticulously in place, perfectly tailored outfit without a wrinkle, and most of all...those vibrantly intense cerulean eyes. The blond hated the fact that his heart still ached and yearned so much for this man even after everything they've done to each other practically from the moment they first met.
"What are you here for, Kaiba?" Jounouchi asked, trying to sound like he didn't care at all even though it was quite the opposite.
"I haven't touched alcohol since the day you left me. You were right, Jounouchi, the way I was treating you was wrong. I'm here to ask if you could give me a second chance," Kaiba announced, so calm and matter-of-fact, but Jou recognized that this confession couldn't have been easy for the proud brunet. Not only did he admit to being wrong, but he was placing himself in a vulnerable position by asking for a second chance.
"A-alright," Jounouchi gave in, unable to let this man go anymore, he'd missed him too much. Reaching out, he wrapped his arms around Kaiba's waist and pulled him close for a tight embrace. Giving a small smile, the blond closed his eyes and breathed in the other's scent that he'd missed oh so much. "I forgive you," Jou added against Kaiba's chest. It was a lie though. The hurt was still there but if everything could just work out perfectly from this moment on, he could forgive the brunet completely.
"Good," Kaiba breathed out quietly as he rested his chin on top of Jounouchi's head, wrapping his arms around the other's shoulder's to hold him close in return. Having his puppy back in his arms felt so right. He felt that now they had finally worked out all their differences. Maybe there would be more disagreements but no more break-ups. It would be perfect now... all worth the fight. Of course Seto Kaiba believed that with every once of his being because he was the optimistic type. Lies.
Sometimes, love doesn't conquer all. Sometimes, people just weren't meant to be perfect soul mates. This time, when the two opposite individuals broke up... it was for good.
"Lies, don't wanna know, don't wanna know oh
I can't let you go, can't let you go oh
I just want it to be perfect
To believe it's all been worth the fight
Lies, don't wanna know, don't wanna know oh"