Thanks for stopping here. I am quite surprised by how excited I am about Bones Season 9. My enthusiasm has been renewed, and I hope that we'll get another one of those great seasons that stands out as especially memorable this year. The fact that I was inspired to write something after nearly forgetting that I'd ever written any fanfiction is proof that my enthusiasm for Bones has returned. This is by no means a great work of literary art, but it sure was fun dabbling in storytelling again. Here's hoping that what's planned for Season 9 by the people who actually own and write for the show is far more entertaining.

Disclaimer: I do not own or make any claim to Bones or its characters. All rights to the show belong to the network, the show's owners, and its writers. I am a huge fan of their work.

Illogical and Irrational

Chapter 1 (of 2)

After being wounded emotionally and very deeply by Booth's refusal to marry her, Bones had retreated to the safety and predictability of her beloved science, opting to stay late in the lab on what had ended up being alternating nights. Unable to bear the silences and the awkward lapses in conversation that had plagued them since that ill-fated night when he'd rejected her proposal, Booth had agreed to her unspoken request and supported her need for time and space. He'd hated every moment of it, but what else could he do? He'd encouraged her to open her metaphorical heart to him fully, and she'd opened it wide only to have him kick her in the gut for doing so. He'd been an ass. He'd done the unforgiveable. He'd done what Cam and Sweets had warned him long ago would do irreparable damage to her—to them. So while Bones was outwardly being logical and understanding and forgiving, Booth didn't buy that they had really put this behind them.

Bones was being honest with him, and he knew that she was not lying to him about forgiving him. But she was still hurting, and he wasn't sure anymore that he could be the one to help heal her broken heart. There had just been too many lonely nights with them each hugging their own pillow facing away from one another. She'd cried herself to sleep too many times, each of her tears driving a dagger into Booth's heart from the realization that he was the source of her all-too-obvious pain. Understandably, Bones had turned to her friends for comfort and consolation. He was grateful that she hadn't walled herself off completely. Years earlier, she would have isolated herself from everyone else while she rationalized away the reasons for her pain and withdrawn to an extent that nobody could hurt her because she was keeping them at a safe distance. Gratefully, she hadn't done that this time.

In fact, it was obvious to everyone—and painfully obvious to Booth-that Bones was an even more doting mother and a more dedicated friend to Angela and others these days. She had channeled her energy into all of her other relationships—while her bond with Booth remained intact but strained at best.

Dealing with the distance between Bones and him had been excruciating. On top of that, Booth had actually been on the receiving end of Angela's full wrath-physically and emotionally. She'd slugged him hard the first time she'd seen him after she'd heard what he'd said to Bones. While she was the only one to attack him physically, everyone else had made it clear that they'd chosen sides and the he was not the side chosen. Being on the outside of the tight circle of their common friends and co-workers was a small price to pay for his sabotage of their otherwise blossoming relationship. Sure, he was lonely, but he could learn to live without those friendships. He could not… under any circumstances… learn to live with the chasm between him and Bones that had grown since he'd turned down her proposal.

Making things right with her became his primary focus. For months after he refused to marry her, Booth had planned ahead carefully for what he'd do once he could talk to her. He had dreamt of days when they'd be close and happy and things would be light and relaxed between them again. He'd grown more than impatient waiting for the day he might speak to her honestly again. And on the night they'd caught Pelant, he told her the first moment he could have.

After overcoming multiple obstacles and getting lucky more than once, the team had found the evidence they needed to arrest Pelant and put him away permanently. Both Booth and Bones had insisted on being at the scene for the arrest—to stand together united facing him the last time he would be a free man. Knowing that he'd try to escape or do harm to others, both partners had arrived armed and fully prepared to be the one to shoot Pelant if needed. When they'd finally tracked him down to arrest him, Pelant had intentionally blown himself up rather than be captured. Sensing that the explosion was imminent too late to stop it, Booth had run to straight to Temperance. Without offering any warning or explanation, he had pulled her slightly farther away from the danger and knocked her down, covering her body with his own as Pelant hit the button that blew him to bits and caused a mist of horror from him to rain down on them for the very last time. Fortunately, neither partner had been injured aside from superficial bumps and bruises and cuts.

After they'd both given interviews and briefed the appropriate officials, the pair showered off quickly and donned medical scrubs to wear home. Then Booth had put an arm around his partner and walked her to his SUV. She'd turned automatically to climb into the passenger side, but he'd tugged on her elbow and turned her around to face him. After staring at her for a long moment, he'd closed the distance between them and kissed her, trying to convey his feelings and apology into the kiss. He'd tried and failed at this type of nonverbal communication many times before. It wasn't as if they hadn't kissed or had sex in months—many times making love had been easier than talking. All of those times, Booth had hoped that she could feel what he hadn't been able to say to her for so long. Of course, it hadn't worked, but he'd kept trying.

Now that Pelant was finally out of their lives for good, Booth had to tell her right then—the moment their hell was finally over. Because she still had no idea why he'd hurt her the way he had, he had to explain things, provide her with evidence that they would be fine and take the first step toward repairing the damage. Standing in the middle of a crime scene still literally covered in pieces of Pelant, Booth had finally told her about Pelant's threats and about his efforts to protect her, Christine, the squints, and the people Pelant had threatened to kill from harm. He had spoken to her in soft tones but really hadn't cared at all if anyone except Bones had heard—he had to tell her the first moment that confessing the truth was possible. He told her that he was sorry-God-awful sorry-for rejecting her proposal and hurting her so deeply. He begged her to forgive him. He told her he'd do anything to have her forgive him. He told her he understood that what he'd done was unforgivable. He told her that he understood if she couldn't… if she didn't want to… forgive him.

She'd forgiven him almost immediately. Surprising him as she always did by reacting as only she could, Bones had honestly forgiven the absolutely unforgiveable. At the warp speed at which she considered all evidence and processed new information, Temperance had listened to his explanation of the ultimatum Pelant had given him, accepted his reasons for telling her that he did not want to marry her, and forgiven him completely.

It had been mere seconds. He'd stopped for a breath, prepared to start begging and pleading with her for her forgiveness. He'd had months to rehearse what he'd say, and he knew that he had to say or do something to help her understand. He'd been prepared for her to wall him off, put distance between them, and ask for time to process the information. But he could not have anticipated that she would pause for a moment before looking at him and taking his hand in her own. "I understand your motivation and the reason for your actions, Booth. I forgive you."

"I… You…," he'd stammered, tears filling his eyes unbidden. Only in a circumstance of this great importance would Booth have been on the verge of actually crying at a crime scene. He was so stunned by her words that he hadn't even paused to think that anyone else in the world was there—because in that very moment, nobody else in the world mattered but Bones. "Bones…."

As he held her, she reassured him further, "You acted bravely and logically for the protection of your family and of strangers whose lives were threatened. Your actions were justified given the circumstances. I probably would have made the same decision had I been presented with such an ultimatum. I realize that you were trying to do the right thing, Booth. And I do forgive you." Through her honesty, Booth could clearly see the pain still lingering in her eyes. She may have forgiven him, but she was still hurting.

"Oh, Bones… baby, I…," Booth leaned in to kiss her tenderly before pulling her into a crushing hug. "I'm so sorry. This has been killing me. I… I thought I'd lose you… I… I swear I never meant to hurt you, Bones." He muttered and rambled as he held her close.

"I know," she'd replied, smiling supportively at him and attempting to hide any lingering doubts from him. "I would like to go home now." And so they did.

By the time they got home, showered properly, and talked some more, he was convinced that she really was being sincere. He knew that she wasn't lying to him. She really did forgive him. He'd been forgiven—something he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to do for himself after this situation. That night, Booth wrapped his arms around her, pulling her body against his where it belonged and promising her that he'd earn her friendship back, that he'd do whatever it took to help repair their relationship. She had reassured him that they were fine and thanked him for being honest with her. He'd promised he'd never be anything but honest with her again.

The next morning, Booth still saw all too clearly the pain that flickered in her eyes when she forgot to hide it from him. Bones clearly wasn't going to hold a grudge, but recovering from this would take time—perhaps a long time. Around noon, Booth stopped by the lab bearing flowers and takeout along with paperwork they needed to complete. She'd smiled at him in earnest welcome, but the smile didn't quite reach her eyes. As they sat there working companionably, both Angela and Cam had come by separately as if to offer silent support to Temperance. More specifically, the expressions on both women's faces told Booth clearly that they were each willing to kick him out on his ass if she wanted him out of there. Temperance had admonished each of them, explaining that Booth had behaved honorably and that they should forgive him for hurting her—because she had done so and was now moving forward.

He was touched by her support and reminded by her supporters that he had much to do to repair the trust he had broken.

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Over time, the rift between them grew smaller. They were still more reserved and less free with one another than they had been before, but the tension was diffused and not as smothering as it used to be. Booth tried not to prompt her for information about her feelings, but sometimes it was too hard to sit and wonder. One evening when they were sitting on the sofa having wine and scotch, respectively, as she was reading while he watched the game on TV with the sound turned down, he looked over at her and asked, "Are we okay, Bones?"

She put down her book, took a sip of wine, and pondered for a brief moment. "I suspect that you feel the way I did after I returned from hiding," she offered thoughtfully. "You were so gracious accepting me back into your life and moving past my deception and the hurt that our absence caused you. I feel inclined to try to be as understanding and forgiving, Booth. You did what you thought you had to do. Just the way I did when I took Christine and left you. I am still committed to our relationship—as you were then."

"Thanks, Bones. I really appreciate that," he said, glancing at her briefly and then looking away thoughtfully.

"Your facial expression and body language indicate that you are still concerned," she noted ever-observantly.

"Yeah," he replied.

"What specifically is bothering you, Booth?"

He sighed and rubbed his hands on his face as if scrubbing it. Then he turned to her and moved closer, taking her hand in his and tracing imaginary lines on it with his thumb as he thought. "You're right about the situations being similar. But… what I did to hurt you was worse."

"Booth, trying to quantify and keep score isn't a productive way to…"

"No, Bones. Hear me out. Over all the years of our partnership, you evolved from someone who didn't even believe in marriage to someone who was proposing. You dove in and shifted your perspective. And I know better than most people how hard that had to be for you. And me… turning you down? I… It seemed like the right thing to do—the only thing I could do to keep you and Christine and those other people safe—but turning you down when you risked so much, invested so much, cared so much…?" He paused, clearly overcome with raw emotion. He cleared his throat and looked at her, his strain apparent on his face and in his posture, "If the situation was reversed, I don't think I'd be able to put it behind me… not quickly anyway."

Pain in her expression, she nodded, blinking back tears.

"You have no idea how bad I feel… how sorry I am."

She squeezed his hand and moved to wipe a stray tear from her face.

He put an arm around her and pulled her closer. Her head on his shoulder, they sat staring at the fire that was now smoldering instead of raging brightly enough to warm them across the room.

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Six months later, the couple was continuing to repair the damage to their relationship. At times, it seemed that they were the way they had been when they first moved into their house—before she had run away with Christine to hide and before he had broken her heart when he refused her proposal. As usual, they had made slow progress, but they had, in fact, grown closer and repaired some of the damage to their relationship. Despite their return to a more solid foundation, the subject of marriage had been entirely off the table since that night Booth had told her he didn't need to get married. Booth had known for some time that she would not ask him again. He wouldn't have expected her to do so. Changing your mind so completely about such a closely held belief was a big deal—a once-in-a-lifetime event. But he still wanted to get back to a place where they could consider it… or just talk about it. The problem had been that he had no idea where to start or what to do. Because he was still on "you're lucky we didn't kill you" status with Angela and Cam, he couldn't talk to them about it. And he certainly couldn't talk to Bones. But he thought a lot about it and one day, he was struck with an idea. It was a risk, he knew, but he hoped it was a risk worth taking.

Temperance was locked up in her office working on the outline for her latest book. She was late sending information to her agent, and she had put work aside later in the afternoon in order to make sketching out the rest of the plot for the book a priority. She had sent a text to Booth telling him that she would be staying late at the office. He had whined but accepted the fact eventually.

However, at 6:00 p.m. sharp, Booth knocked on the door to her office. She looked up and grimaced, suspecting that he had forgotten the arrangement. As she started to protest, he held up a hand to silence her. Puzzled, she stopped speaking.

"I have somewhere I'd like to take you tonight," Booth began, looking up at her cautiously, trying to gauge her reaction.

"Booth, I…."

"I know that you need to work on your book. But I… this is important. I need you to trust me and come with me," he tried his charm smile and felt hopeful when she did not directly refuse.

"Where is Christine? Can we do this tomorrow… or some other evening? I have a deadline."

"Your deadline is next week, Bones. One more day won't make a difference."

She could tell by his stance and the determination in his eyes that he was going to insist that she go with him. Frustrated but eager to get past this distraction from her work, she rose and moved to get her jacket.

"Thanks, Bones," he said with a smile, moving to help her put the jacket on.

"Where are we…?" she began, but he spun her around and kissed her… a bit more deeply and passionately than he typically would at her office—or his.

He watched her eyes as they opened when he broke the kiss off, smiling at the dazed expression on her face. Damn, it felt good to know he could still affect her that way. He grinned at her and waggled his eyebrows at her cockily before leading her out to the garage to his waiting SUV.

"I'm going to need for you to trust me, Bones," he said, fishing a piece of cloth out of his coat pocket and holding it up while simultaneously motioning for her to turn around.

"I refuse to allow you to tie me up here, Booth," she said, rolling her eyes in annoyance.

"Jeez, Bones. Get your mind out of the gutter, will ya?" he groaned. He walked around so that he could face her. "This is a blindfold. I'm going to put it on you."

"A blindfold? Booth, I'll look ridiculous. I see no reason…."

"There is a reason, but it's not one you'll like. I'm asking you to trust me, Bones. I need you to do something completely illogical and irrational. Just put this on and go with me… No questions asked."

Never one to give in easily, she put her hands on her hips and eyed him warily, "And if I do this, you'll let me finish working on the book?"

"Yes, if that's what you want to do," he consented.

"Fine, let's go."